You Know What's Funny? All The Justice Leage|DC X Danny Phantom Crossover Fics, That Start With Or Otherwise

How to pull a Batman by J. Constantine

John Constantine wouldn't say he was quite fond of children. He's not fatherly by any means so he knows that he's not suitable for raising children. It's just that he somehow ends up with a young girl at his front door (how she found the house of mystery, he's not sure). The little girl looked normal but she felt off. Too drenched in death to be a run-of-the-mill child. Her red hair seemed to turn into flames at the tips, and her eyes were eerily teal and glowed. Everything about her seemed wrong.

"Hello." She murmured, "Clockwork told me to come find you."

And she was just blinking, looking utterly uncanny as John reluctantly welcomed her into the house. "Master of Time?" He hesitated, knowing that amongst the many powerful beings he'd met the ancient of time had been one of them. A mirthful entity who seemed amused by the chaos and order of the multiverse. 

"He told me to give you this!" The girl fished out a glowing green paper from... y'know, he's not sure. 

And in mocking calligraphy the words:

"You owe me :). p.s. there's more."

was directed at John like a fucking signal. 

Great... Being indebted to the cosmic entity of time has made him a father.

He thought it'd happen one time. Just once. Little Jasmine was adept at the occult and got along well with ghosts, often playing peacemaker when one of them tried bothering Constantine. She was concerningly liminal for a twelve-year-old child, but she brushed it of for the fact that her siblings were either halfas or very liminal. Was he concerned, admittedly yes. 

It wasn't until there was a pounding at the door again did he start praying to any god willing to listen. But no. The sentient house practically dragged him through the halls and led him to where Jazz was eagerly waiting, a grin on her face. 

"My baby brothers are here!" She excitedly says, eyes practically sparkling as she grabs him by the hand. 

"Slow down, darlin'. They won't bloody leave if we slow down." He sighed in exasperation, before pulling the door open. Two pairs of eyes stared into his very soul, making his breath hitch.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What the hell was Clockwork sending him?!

"Danny! Dan" Jazz squealed, dragging the two halfas into the house. One with green eyes and another with red. 

"Clockie wasn't kidding when he said he's a sad guy in a trench coat." The one with green eyes muttered, still floating and staying close to Jazz and his twin. 

"Clockwork slept with that?" The red-eyed one unabashedly judged. "Another fruitloop..." The boy snarled.

John Constantine could already predict the future at this point.

Daniel and Dante take to the house immediately, haunting it to their hearts content.

In the course of four years, the hellblazer drowns in the depths of fatherhood, making sure that no one could find out about his children. No. Not even Batman.

He'd be damned (even more) than let anyone involve the best parts of his life in contingency plans and whatnot. 

His kids grow up to be a rowdy and peculiar bunch.

His eldest, Jazz, was turning out to be one hell of a magician. Especially in necromantic arts that he's tried not to touch many times.

The twins, Danny and Dante were little hellions that made him want to tear his hair out. Its later on when Clockwork comes to visit their children (because its joint custody now) that he's informed that one is the crown prince of the realms and to be king upon the expiration of his mortality, and the other was an alternate version of him and was dubbed the world destroyer. 

His fourth child and second daughter had come in the form of Sam, who had popped up in the house and was decorating it with plants he from different dimensions. Also, she was apparently a green witch that now had the powers of the spirit known as undergrowth. The house was green.

His fifth child came in the form of a boy with a red hat and a laptop clutched against his chest. Tucker had seemed so harmless and sweet compared to his older siblings... until John found him performing ancient egyptian rituals and casually hacking into the Pentagon for fun. 

His last (Thank god) daughter was a zoomie toddler. Little Elle had arrived three years after Jazz did. A five year old with such intense wanderlust that he was tempted to buy one of those harness leash thingies parents had their children wear. Also, like the twins in which she was the clone of, she was one hell of a child being directly connected to the speed force.

So in conclusion, John Constantine was the father of three children on the verge of becoming Ancients, a highly intelligent girl with a very deep connection to death, the successor of fucking Undergrowth, and a boy who could effortlessly hack into government systems whilst being a pharao-in-training. 

Batman must never know.

In the far future, John Constantine battles it out with Bruce Wayne, who's children thought it was a good idea to start flirting with his hellions.

Constantine: TO HELL WITH YOU IF YOU THINK IM LETTING MY PERFECT JAZZY PANTS DATE YOUR FLIPPY SON!

Bruce: SHE'S GOOD FOR HIM!

Constantine: YEAH WILL IS HE GOOD FOR HER?!

And then it gets worse once John catches the Red Hood displaying some ghostly courting behaviour towards Dan. And he's just.

Constantine: Tell your children to back off.

Bruce: You think I haven't tried???

Then comes Danny and Tim with their unhinged behavior. Constantine isn't even mad about the fact that his son is dating one of the Bats. He's just concerned about the chaos with these two.

Bruce: okay, that one is not allowed. How do we get them to break up?

Constantine who's already witnessed Danny making plans to brutally murder Ra's for some spleen: Yeah, no. Good luck with that one.

By the time it's just Sam, Tucked, and Elle, he's praying it's not one of the Bats.

He really is.

Tucked is emmersed in his work but that didn't stop him from befriending Bart Allen and the current Kid Flash. Time travel is the one they usually discuss. (Dante and Constantine were very much on the same page when it came to keeping them just friends.)

And then Sam somehow ends up catching the attention of a daughter of Zeus. By this point, Constantine was preparing to fight god again and would have to ask his ex for a favor.

He's just so happy his precious princess Elle was being a sweet fifteen years old and wasn't daring crazy people.

(Damian was being rather suspicious...)

TUMBLR IS FINALLY FEEDING ME CONSTANTINE POST! LET'S GO!!!

IDEA

So, if the Infinite Realms is basically a connection for many many many dimensions do you think Danny would go to the dc dimension after realizing what this means

Like imagine dc is also a fandom in the ‘Danny Phantom’ universe that Danny is a big fan of. He would never think that such a world exists but the idea of it is so cool, and he wish he can go to a world such as that. 

But that was before he kind-of-sort-of-possibly-died-and-is-now-currently-half-dead-and-would-you-look-at-that-he-became-ghost-king-what-a-small-world-we-live-in

well, it’s about to get smaller

Now when he finds out that the Infinite Realms is a connection to other realms, he doesn’t think much of it because he thinks it’s like worlds that have a boy Sam or Mr. Lance as president kind of thing. He doesn’t think much of it until he realizes the extent of what “dimensions” means

Finding out that one of your childhood heroes are real in a different world literally blew his mind

So, imagine this young teenage Ghost King DC nerd willingly going to the dc universe to geek out and possible spook his heroes for the heck of it

Oh! IDEA!!!!!

What if he goes to the dc!universe back and forth where to him it would be like a day and it would be weeks or even years in the dc!universe so he would be young even if years pass by. The heroes are being haunted by this weird ghost kids for years!

GASP

WAIT

What if the Bats were his favorite heroes? 

Like imagine an excited Danny going to Gotham expecting to see Batman but came during the time when Bruce was still a child and was disappointed, like, he wanted to see big bad batman not a child >:0

But every time he comes back, he would just like watch over Bruce thinking like how this kid couldn’t possibly be Batman while also getting attached to the child Bruce. Durning the night he would tuck him in tighter, hum a tone when their alone or blowing cold air his way when its summertime. The little things. 

Bruce thinks it’s his imaginary friend or like the spirit of Gotham

(shot i made another idea in an idea but i’ll come back to that later)

Danny comes back one day to find out it’s been days since the murder of the Wayne’s, and he’s excited to see how the Batman comes to life only to see a devastated crying and depressed Bruce.

that’s when he realized he was waiting for a murder in order to have a child-like enjoyment of seeing one of his childhood heroes for the price of a child to lose their parents

he made a mistake

he wants to fix it but Clockwork refused point blank that he can’t change the past, however, he won’t stop him from taking any action after as whatever he does will affect this universes even more, 

After that Danny made it his mission to bring Bruce comfort and protect him from any types of threats from greedy rich higher ups to thieves coming to steal from the Wayne Mannor. He comes back and forth to his world and this world to look after Bruce and learns how the character in his comic book pages became a person he cares for. 

He watches him leave to train

He watches him come back

He watches him become Batman

He watches him become a father

 (From there I don’t know if Danny would change major things like Jason’s death or even Bruce’s journey through time, but I’ll like to think he does something when it comes to find Damian or even bring in Tim earlier rather than letting him go through that rollercoaster ride he had called a ‘personal life’)

(And yes through this all Danny is still a teenager but he can be around 17-19ish by the time Damian’s 14 or so)

Danny became something of a Wayne protector and Bruce knows that something/someone is keeping him safe as both Bruce and Batman and just let it be. This spirit or thing was there since his childhood so he has a certain attachment to whatever good will this spirit was providing him and pass down the knowledge to Dick and then his children when he notices that the spirit was protecting or helping his children as well

Like:

“B, I didn’t know you have a great singing voice!”

Bruce paused from his newspaper and looked up. “What do you mean?”

Dick pop a piece of bacon in his mouth before talking again, food flying everywhere. “You were humming me to sleep before your patrol!” 

“Mouth close Master Dick,” Alfried wiped the counter. He looked at Bruce with a raised eyebrow. “I wasn’t aware Master Bruce had to time to see the young master to bed.”

Bruce took only a second to understand. “Ah. No that wasn’t me. It seems our littler friend likes you chum.”

“Friend?”

“There are many things you must learn when living in the Wayne Manor Master Dick. Learning to find a little help now and again without one of us at present is also one of the number of things you will expecting while at your stay.”

Danny and Constandad incorrect quotes because I need them

Constantine : GET BACK HERE YOU DUMB FUCK!

Danny: LET ME RUN FROM THE CONSEQUENCES OF MY ACTIONS!

—

Danny: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Constantine : Actually, Danny, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.

—

Constantine : Kill me now.

Danny: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

—

Constantine : We all have our demons.

Constantine , grabbing Danny: This one’s mine.

—

Constantine : What's gone wrong, Danny?

Danny: Hey! That’s one hell of a thing to say to a person. Just because I’m calling doesn’t mean there’s a crisis.

Constantine : That’s technically true, I suppose. Why are you calling?

Danny: Well... There’s a crisis.

—

Constantine : Do you even have a plan?

Danny: This is the plan! I break you out, chaos, destruction, something something something, we win!

Constantine : Oh, of course, the old “something something something we win”. That’s a terrible plan!

—

Danny: I think I should be allowed on ghost hunter tv shows.

Constantine : I think that would be dangerous for the ghost hunters.

—

Constantine , at Danny's funeral: I need a moment with him.

Everyone: Of course. *They leave*

Constantine , leaning over Danny′s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.

Danny: Yeah, no shit.

DP x DC

Of which Vlad IS related to Bruce

Their Bat-ness must have came from a common ancestor. And that adoption thing.

But anyways.

Imagine Vlad contacting Bruce with his fam out of the blue, asking BRUCIE, HI NICE TO TALK TO YOU AFTER LONG PERIODS OF ABSENCE BUT IVE A QUESTION THAT NEEDS TO BE ANSWERED FOR MY KWN SAKE- how do you get your children to be civil with you???

Bruce: ... I am not aware you adopted kids Vladdie?

Batfam, listening to the conversation: it's cute that Masters tot we're civil to Bruce at all times lol

Vlad: Currently I have my godson with me and he's acting a lot like a combination of your sons in gala disasters.

Bruce: which gala disasters you're talking about? Coz you know we have the Rogues attacking galas aaaaallll the time-

Vlad: you know what I mean, cousin. Richard in the chandeliers, little Damian stabbing the handsy ones, Timothy making people cry left and right between his blackmails and "conspiracy theories"-

Bruce: (tries to imagine all that Feral in one body and failing)

Batfam: (omg new cousin sounds lit)

Vlad: so yes Brucie, I need some advice, please and thank you.

(Unseen: Danny gnawing his leg)

Superman is asked in an interview if he walks around without his costume in the streets, he says yes, that he has perfected the way to disguise has a regular human, they ask for an example of one of his costumes so he grabs a black jacket and puts it on before slouching, warping himself in his cape and using his fingers to make little ears*

Superman (in grave voice): "I'm the night. *stretching the i* people think I live in the shadows, but I'M the shadows. I'm Batman *this continues for a couple of minutes, after that, the interview ends without problems*

...

Next morning all signs of Superman in Metropolis have been vandalized, either by painting bats as moustaches or by painting Batman's suit and cowl over Clark's faces

Later, he realizes all his suits have been replaced with Bat-suits bought from a Halloween costume shop, the Planet's windows were covered with photos of Batman and his kids wearing the suits they stole (plus masks), the internet is full of Superman memes and there's a viral video of Batman seemingly flying like Superman, in Superman's suit, while still wearing the Bat-cowl, only for the image to pull back and show Batman strapped to the Bat-mobile's roof, that's being driven by Spoiler, who is cackling like an Arkham inmate.

the Constantine twins are on the TL again

Danny is about to be kidnapped in Gotham This is not a good time.

He's studying for the SAT, he's already been kidnapped by Vlad like, four times that week and it was a fucking Tuesday, he forgot his wallet at his new apartment, locked himself out of said new apartment (he could phase through the door but that wasn't the point), he's just been informed that the grant he applied for was denied so he needs to ask his mom and dad for college funds when he'd already told them he had it covered, and just...it was shit.

It had been shit. The entire week had been awful and annoying and he was ready to either murder everyone on the planet or go find a corner to cry in for the next three days.

So when the band of wild goons working for whatever villain of the week pulled up and tried to kidnap him, he snapped.

He used them to vent.

Shouted about how terrible his day had been, how terrible his week had been, how he'd already been kidnapped by his creepy godfather who was way too into him, how college funding was shit and the grant system was rigged, and how he'd have to call a locksmith or break down the door to his own apartment if he wanted to go to bed-all of it. He unloaded all of his frustration.

The goons actually backed off.

One of them gave him an awkward side hug and told him it'd get better.

Danny wasn't paying attention to his surrounding. He doesn't realize that the whole thing was livestreamed.

So when he gets home to his apartment later that day, his door is opened for him by the vigilante Spoiler before he can even turn intangible.

She brought over BatBurger and kidnapped Bruce Wayne, Gotham's bumbling Prince, to talk about college grants.

The Weatherman

Dpxdc Prompt #22

There's a new weatherman in Gotham, only he seems to report on everything except for the weather.

—————————————————

"And for today's forecast we've got an Arkham breakout on our hands. Not to worry though! It's only Harley and Two-Face this time. Harley's currently dating Ivy so there may be some cuddle pollen spread around, but no psycho killer episodes!"

"If you live in Two-Face territory you may, as always, want to carry a rigged coin with you, but his escape seemed rather low-key. It's unlikely he's going to be trying anything soon."

"Bats to look out for tonight are the Dynamic Duo, Red Hood, and Batgirl. Nightwing's currently hanging out in our sister city of Bludhaven, Black Bat is still who knows where, Red Robin is not allowed to be patrolling for too many sleepless nights, and there's not enough crime tonight to pull Signal onto the nightshift."

"Make sure to watch the roads, because it seems Batgirl is still trying to drive the Batmobile whenever Batman is distracted. Other that the weather will be full of smog, dust, and clouds as always. Stay sharp Gotham, signing off—Danny Fenton, your weatherman."

Tim is going to tear out his hair.

Wait no, Tim isn't going to do that because that means smiley-enigmatic-weatherman Danny Fenton will win.

The new addition to the Gotham news team has been both a blessing and a curse for the Bats.

He almost never reports about the weather, not that there is much to report with it staying practically the same, or being affected by villain attacks rather than natural causes.

Fenton has decided that means he should report on villain attacks of the day. Which on it's own wouldn't be a problem, awareness of attacks saves lives.

No, the problem is he somehow has access to information not even the Bats have and reports on attacks before they happen. He also seems to have an acute knowledge of what's going on with the Bats everyday as well and it's driving Tim crazy.

Is he prophetic? Does he have an informant? Is he just somehow a better detective than the World's Greatest?

Fenton always keeps up the most goofy grin as he spouts information that he should not have access to and Tim is going to crack this case if it's the last thing he does. Its almost as if the weatherman is taunting Tim on purpose.

—————————————————

When Danny got a job offer for the news station in Gotham he decided to bring a little bit of home with him. He's also trying to see how quickly he can make one of the Bats go gray—or bald he's not picky.

He bets its gonna be Red Robin, the guy can't stand not knowing everything.

Starlight Toy Galore and Repair Center

"So this is what B wanted us to go under cover and investigate on?" Dick said, looking around the very colorful space theme background toystore.

There were several dozen children running around, some from the streets playing in a playground section, having the time of their life, trading with the owner with their own old broken toy for his toys.

Damian already betrayed them and got sucked into the extra cute extra fuzzy what seemed to be an off-brand of baby alive, blob aliens in another section where there was a bunch of other aliens like toys.

Dick is struggling to keep a hold onto Tim with all of his strength, considering he is eyeing at the awesome looking tech section with a coffee stand corner for adults and parents to chill while the kids play around.

The reason why they were here was that This store wasn't here before 9 months ago and only just got in their radar when a mini green smiling husky three legged puppy with a blue bow toy Keychain of one of hostage in Joker's torture on live to Gotham City spontaneously tripled in sized to a massive adult husky and process to mauled the joker alive in live tv. The sobbing hostage refused to give his toy Keychain close to his chest as he kept mumbling that Milly saved his life once more.

The owner was Danny Nightingale, a very, very tall blind man with extremely long black and white hair in multiple braids with toy crystalized flowers that moved, a frosty blue crown on his head covered in flowers as well. A gentle slim giant of a man who offers a variety of unique, wacky yet creatively fun toys not even for sell but as a trade.

They were supposed to grab a toy for analyzing! Not run around playing with everything!!

And there goes Tim.

Dick sighed as he pressed fingers between his nose before looking up to a section that had a bunch of mini glowing green animals-keychains in a circle rack.

What caught his eyes was one little baby elephant with a circus theme that reminded him too close of zitka.

He couldn't look away, nor could he stop himself from gently picking the Keychain.

A little cute button on the head top garment on the elephant that he pressed lightly.

A tiny, cute elephant noise came with a tiny sprinkle of water squirt out the elephant trunk with a tiny light of starlight rainbow shimmer, which made a smile grow on his face.

Dick ended up trading his bat burger stamped coupons, already walking out, seeing that Tim and Damian were already out with their toys in hand.

Tim was typing on a new tech gimmick toy that looked like Ghostbusters ripoff with glowing humaniod ghosts, and damian fascinated with a a jar full with a swirling bat like blob with a tag that said I am gimgim, thank you for adopting me.

"Well.. B didn't specifically have to give him the toy to analyze." Dick said out of thought before two pair narrowed eyes look back at him, holding their toys closer to their chest.

Dick narrowed his eyes back at them, holding his newly named zitka Keychain in his hand.

Part 2 here <-