Real Connor Vs Fake Connor Thoughts Time.

real connor vs fake connor thoughts time.

real connor is a shard of glass, but fake connor is sea glass.

they've both got edges, both sharp, sarcastic, "am i not laughing hard enough for you?" "you can talk to me, unless you have other options" they both curse, in ways evan doesn't, "fuck you!" "everything you've told her has all been one big fucking lie!"

but real connor is so much rougher around the edges than fake connor. a mentally ill teenager who's not getting the support he needs, he's angry but not vindictive, not really cruel, just,,, rough, reactive. while fake connor, playing the other half of evan's brain in their conversations, is much smoother around those edges, has an easy physicality to him that's absent in real connor, who's more at home in his body than evan is in his, but is still like, a teenager, not done growing into himself. fake connor also doesn't hesitate over his words, he knows what he wants to say, and he says it, real connor trips up a little, trying to talk to evan in the computer lab, unused to this. to talking to people.

also the subtle difference in the way that, fake connor's frustration and anger grows, especially in the "everyone will hate you" exchange, he gets louder as evan gets louder, trying to be heard above him, escalating only to match, while real conner snaps. split-second decisions, yelling at evan in the hall before shoving him, yelling in the computer lab. even his "fuck you!" to zoe at the table. sharp, quick, a flash flare of anger, while fake connor is a slower burn. fake connor is argumentative, playing one side of the arguments evan has with himself, but he is not angry, not the way real connor is.

there's a forty minute gap in the musical, between when real connor storms out of the computer lab, and fake connor shows up in evan's bedroom, which in musical time is just enough to make it hard to notice the differences in the acting choices at a glance, but it's incredibly stark when you see the two versions back to back.

a lot of it really comes down to that easy physicality, genuinely one of my favorite bits of choreo illustrates this really well. there is a fluidity that we see in fake connor, that's absent from real connor, and is only more stark when you realize that real connor never sings or has any real integration into musical numbers beyond his spoken lines in anybody have a map, we do not see him moving fluidly through dance choreo, because real connor HAS NO dance choreo while fake connor does, AND he maintains that fluidity outside of it.

it's just, some REALLY great acting and i'm absolutely going insane about it.