I Don't Know Why, But This Guy Just Made My Day 😆😆

Public transport

This one was one of my first shool-work stories. But honestly, I don´t know if it will be as good as in my language. Also the “rule” doesn´t have to be valid in other countries. This story was made just to make fun of some people´s behavior, so please don´t take it personaly. Have fun :D

In the evening I am a witness of instinctual behavior. Unfortunately, in every means of transport our instinct is simple slogan: “Just me, just me!!”. Everyone has seen this.

We all know the unwritten rule, first exit and then enter. Vain attempt. Life is a struggle, and even such a trivial thing as exit from the means of transport, is sometimes an impossible task. If we add the panic in the eyes of entering passengers and maliciousness of the driver who lights up the warning light to signal the approach of closing door, it turns out we have really hilarious scene! Well, only in the case when you are currently not in the area around the doors and do not belong to one of the two groups of entering or exiting.

Amused, I watched this scene from the seat, which I fairly seized. The exiting crowd instinctively ducked behind spatially significant persons to had more easy way to exit. The problem occurs at the moment when you and other exiting person choose the same spatially significant person. We are where we were. Crushes to the freedom. The entering people also certainly have not helped. Those, who waited in the station, rushed to the sides of the door, and those, who need to free up space at the door, must exit with the intention to enter back.

Door area is getting rapidly thinner, so the first wave exiting by three suddenly became noodle exiting by one. It certainly does not add the speed, not to mention the often grumpy driver who demonstratively plays the record: “Accelerate the access and exit!”. I think the person, that the voice from a record belongs to, had a lot of fun while recording. The intonation is excellent.

So the result? The exiting crowd indiscriminately struggling to get out, and to make matters worse, nervous entering passengers are pushing in. Physicists should be pleased by this experiment, the resistance of opposite sides is perfect. Weaker pieces drop out, that one with a small balance fall or better yet, gave up attempt to exit completly. The entering passengers look around the other door, which is not at such crush. Metro closes, strong pieces survived, though some fought for their life with the closing door and we go to the next station. I'm going to slowly prepare onto the battlefield, because the next warrior to exit is me ...

Can't go anywhere without my axe and deer skull. What if the Gods demand sacrefice while I'm on a walk.

what's in your pocket? there's definitely rocks in mine

someone give him a grammy

I can't breathe right now 😂😂

Agatha Christie: The ABC Murders

Everyone certainly knows the queen of detective stories. And she has the right to be called so. Only Shakespeare has sold more books than she does.

Agatha Christie (own name Agatha Mary Clarissa lady Mallowan) was borned 15. September 1890 in Torquay and she died 12. January 1976 in the United Kingdom. She worked as a volunteer nurse and a pharmacist in Ashfield. Experience gained over the years working with drugs, and often with poisons was used later when she was writing her crime novels. In 1956 she was appointed C.B.E. (Commander of the British Empire) and in 1971 Queen Elizabeth II. awarded her the title of "Lady of the British Empire".

Hercule Poirot and his dear friend captain Arthur Hastings received a wierd anonymous letter signed ABC. The letter predicted that in Andover, something will happen. And indeed it happened. An old newsagent A. Ascher is murdered and on the counter in the shop is opened alphabetic timetable, known by the acronym ABC. Premonitions that came Hercule Poirot to mind are filled. Like the good old days he follows the trail with his friend. However, another letters come with a warning about other murders - this time Betty Barnard on the beach in Bexhill and then the third - Lord Clark Carmichael in Curstonu. Every time the ABC timetable is near. It is clear that the murderer proceed alphabetically. But why? He chooses his victims based solely on their names? It must be resolved. This involve investigations by Scotland Yard.

The ABC Murders was her first book I read. And I didn´t end up with just this one. The way she wrote is incredible.The way the crime was commited, the way the criminal shuffled with evidences, how the inspector solved the case. Everything is just perfect and it must be hard to made up the crime and the solution.  And I love her so much...

Merry Christmas, Little Red

It was December 21st and the whole world was coated in glistening snow. The wind was calm, the sun shone softly and the sky was enveloped in white fluffy clouds. It was a truly beautiful day. And our good old Santa couldn't wish for better weather for a trial flight before Christmas Eve.

Late in the afternoon he harnessed his trusted reindeers and took off. And indeed it was a splendid flight. Reindeers gracefully danced across the sky and the sleight glided along effortlessly. But as he was turning to go back to his domain, the wind picked up suddenly and the clouds gathered around him, swallowing him entirely. A loud thunder rung across the sky, startling the reindeers causing them to panic. Santa lost control over them and was blindly led by a terrified crew.

Too late he saw tips of the trees that made a huge forest below them. In the last second, he pulled the reins with all his strength to steer the reindeers to the side so they won't crash head-on. It was a harsh landing and the sleigh got bumped up a bit, but thankfully no one was harmed. After Santa managed to calm his fellow reindeers down, he took a closer look at the surrounding. It was a pretty large and thick forest. Taking off from the spot here was out of the question, so he needs to find an opening big enough to gather the required speed or better yet the edge. And he needs to find it quickly, for dusk was near.

Santa secured his crew and set off to find a way out. He wandered around the woods aimlessly for a long time. To ease his tired legs, Santa sat down on a stump he found in the snow. And while he sat there he pondered, how to get out of this situation.

"Hello," a little voice called.

Santa was immersed in his thoughts so much, he didn't notice a little girl walking up to him.

"Well hello there, little one," he smiled at her. She was indeed very little. Big blue eyes were

examining him thoughtfully, thin blonde braids stuck out from under the hood of her bright red cape.

"Are you all alright? You seem tired."

"I am a bit worn out, that is true. But I'll be fit again in no time."

"That's great," she smiled at him.

"Tell me, little one, what is your name?"

"My name is Susie, but everyone calls me a little red riding hood."

"And why is that?" Santa asked, amused.

"It's because of my cape that my grandma made me. See how pretty red it is?" she made a little twirl.

"Indeed it is very pretty. Pretty little cape for a pretty little lady."

"I am a pretty little lady, " she said proudly. "It's your turn now, you didn't tell me your name."

"My name is Nicolas, but people also call me differently."

"Really? How?" she asked eagerly.

"For most people, I am Santa Claus."

Susie thought for a moment. "I think I like Nicolas better. Santa sounds weird."

Santa laughed joyfully at her statement. "Well, thank you, little one. You too have a really pretty name."

"Thanks," she flashed him a bright smile.

"Tell me, Susie, what is such a pretty little lady doing in the woods all alone in such a late time?"

Susie went suddenly grim, her eyes looking beyond the thick trees. Santa waited patiently for her to answer.

"Are you a stranger?"

The question was so sudden it caught him off guard. Santa looked at her questioningly, before answering.

"What do you think little one?"

"I hope you are not. I like talking to you and your laugh sounds funny... No, I don't think you are a stranger."

Santa chuckled merrily. "Can't argue with that."

"Anyway, I am in a way to my grandma. She fell ill and mom send me to take her some medicine."

"Aren't you afraid of going all the way alone?" Santa asked.

"Nope, it's just beyond the large meadow on the other side of the lake."

"It looks you know it here pretty well. I seem to be a bit lost at the moment. Could you probably show me a way out?"

"I sure do, " she smiled. "Where do you need to go?"

"I just need to get to somewhere big and clear to be able to take off."

Susie tilted her head. "Take off?"

"Yes, I and my fellows were on a flight but we had an accident and crashed a little. Now we are looking for a way home."

"You can fly?" her eyes sparkled with curiosity.

"Well yes, but not alone. I need my friends to help me. Do you want to meet them? I bet they would be delighted to meet such a pretty little lady."

"That would be so awesome, " Susie practically jumped with excitement. Santa stood up and took Susie by her hand to lead them back to his sleigh.

As soon as they caught a glimpse at the red sled, Susie ran ahead to admire its beauty.

"Pretty, aren't they?" Santa said.

"Pretty? They are gorgeous!" Susie proclaimed with an eager squeak. "And what are those funny looking horses?" she pointed at them.

Santa laughed wholeheartedly. "Those are not horses, Susie. Those are my trusty flying reindeers. Would you like to pet them?" Santa smiled cheerfully.

"Can I? Yes, pretty please," she pleaded with her bright eyes.

Santa picked her up carefully and showed her all his reindeers. And she couldn't resist petting them all.

"This is Dasher and the next to him is Dancer. Cancer and Vixen are right behind them. Comet can't take a step without Cupid. Donner here is always looking for others from behind and Blitzen can't stand still for long."

"How can you tell which one is which? They all look the same."

"And yet, they are not. They are different, you just need to know where to look. Dasher has a slightly splintered antlers from when he smashed into a tree while he was learning to fly. Blitzen has a small white spot around his nose. And Cupid never leaves without his grey socks on."

"And they can really fly?" she asked disbelievingly.

"They sure can. Hey, I got an idea. Would you like to take a little flight?"

Susie now had a smile bigger than ever and her eyes sparkled like a sky full of stars.

"Ho ho ho, I take that as a yes. But we need to find a clearing first, so we can take off. Do you know someplace like that?"

Susie thought for a moment and then pointed to her right. "Over there is a huge meadow and it's not that far away."

"That's great, Susie. You are a really smart little lady. Alright, fellas, let's move on," Santa called at his reindeers and sat Susie on the seat next to him. "Comfy?"

Susie nodded and leaned forward eagerly to get a better view.

"But be careful, it might be a little bumpy," he warned her. Santa flicked with the reins and the sleigh slowly made their way through the trees. The sky took on dark blue and purple shades and the stars began to appear. The meadow truly was not far and it was large enough for a safe take-off.

"Now, are you ready?" Santa asked.

Susie looked up at the dark sky full of stars with wary in her eyes.

"Are you afraid?" Santa asked calmly.

Susie nodded nervously. "What if we fall?"

"You don't need to worry, little one," he soothed her. "My friends are extra careful when we have a guest aboard, and we won't go that fast. Tell you what, if you don't like it or get scared, just say a word and we will go down. How does that sound?" Santa offered.

Susie looked over the sky once more before giving him a determined nod.

"Alright, little one. Hold on tight," Santa whistled softly, reindeers flicked their ears and run across the grassy field to gather the right speed. And before you know it the sleigh peeled from the ground and rose into the sky.

It was a magnificent view, stars glittered all around them, and a soft breeze caressed them gently. Susie was on the edge of her seat so she could see all the trees below and stars above.

"So, do you like it?" Santa asked playfully.

"I love it! Look, there is the lake. And there are the boarding mountains. Everything looks so small down there. And the stars are much bigger and brighter up here," Susie didn't know where to look first.

"Do you see that star over there?" Santa asked her. "That's the northern star. It always shines much brighter than others and it never moves. Whenever you get lost, just follow its light and it will guide you home."

"Really?"

"Yes really," Santa chuckled. "Now, it's getting pretty late and we don't want to make your grandma worry. Where did you say she lives?"

"Right beyond that large lake we just passed." Susie reminded him.

"Alright, let's take you to your grandma. I bet she is waiting for you. Hold tight we are going to land."

The landing this time was almost flawless. Santa helped Susie out of the sleigh and set her on the ground.

"That was amazing!" she beamed. "Can we do it again sometime?"

"Hmmm," Santa thought for a moment. "Tell you what, if you promise to keep it a secret just between us, I'll come to visit you on this day every year. What do you say?"

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"You must pinkie promise," Susie demanded cheerfully and stuck out her pinkie.

"Pinkie promise," Santa hooked his pinkie with hers, sealing their vow. "Now hurry up, or you'll catch a cold."

"See you next year, Nick," Susie hugged him tightly and ran over to her grandma's house.

When she looked up to the sky for the last time, she saw the sleigh pulled by flying reindeers vanishing in the distance, and heard his cheery laugh echoing far across the land. It was all so magical and surely she wouldn't forget this night for the longest of time.

Encanto short comic

Part 1 | Part 2

I hope you enjoy this short comic, of course it is me so prepare for the angst.

You can see the full wip and posts on my patreon before the public get it. it would be very helpful if you could help support me.

Guys... you wouldn't recognise a carrot even if it was thrown in your face...

look at this apple

I think he broke a record for the amount of NSFW jokes in this one. 😂

Besides, the prince sent his man to find her, he didn't go himself. And they didn't have any other indication to determine who the mysterious lady was. I believe they would pick all the women the slipper will fit and take them to the palace and then the prince will choose the right one. I myself have a problem to remember faces and names, and I would have done it that way.

Cinderella (1950)