Danny, Causally Being Peak Mad Scientist, Would Absolutely Be Bat Adoption (or Batkid Romance?) Bait.

In the Danny Phantom universe it is consistently and continuously shown that ghosts gather their strength from indulging their interests. I would argue that it is also shown that the more a ghost cares about something, the more power it gains. Thus, all of the powerful ghosts would already have strong (dare I say special) interests. As such autistic people would have the advantage in the Infinite Realms. In this essay I will—

“You know, a lot of us thought you were a ghost. Jazz said you fit the profile. Black and white morals. Obsessed with bats. Always wearing the exact same thing.”

“I’m autistic.”

“Oh,” the ghost hummed. “Yeah, that’ll do it.”

Beautiful. Beautiful.

Those tags~

@proshipper-on-ship​ thank you for the Dick & Dan idea you added to my other post, please enjoy some of the fall out your comment resulted in haha

“So,” Bruce tried, looking hesitantly pleased at the surprisingly light atmosphere around the table. “Anything new and exciting going on with anyone?”

There was a smattering of answers from around the table. Jason didn’t offer anything - which wasn’t surprising, that he was even there and largely not starting a fight was more than enough as far as Dick was concerned - but with some ribbing from Steph, Tim eventually admitted to finally asking that boy he’d been interested in out. Dick joined in on teasing his little brother - and even Jay gave, for him, some gentle ribbing over finally getting the balls to do something, eh Timberland? - while very carefully avoiding mentioning his own sorta-kinda thing with Dan in Bludhaven. He’d deal with his siblings making him miserable and embarrassed over it all when he actually scored a date with him thanks very much.

Things were going good.

And then Damian cleared his throat, looking imperious and uninterested at the same time as he waited for everyone to turn to look at him.

“I have an announcement on an alteration to my personal life.” He declared, chin up and looking like he was already over this whole family-bonding-time thing, which was fair. Damian had gotten better over the years, but he was still not exactly the cute and cuddly little brother. Dick still had the scar from the last time he tried to hug Dami without warning a year ago and got stabbed for the effort. Still, he was sharing, willingly even! That’s progress!

At the head of the table Bruce tilted his head, looking as cautiously hopeful as Dick felt over the youngest Wayne actually offering to share something personal. “Have you decided on what college you want to go to then?”

“No.” Dami dismissed easily, without more than a glance in Bruce’s direction. “Night and I have decided to take some time to travel before continuing any further schooling.”

Huh, honestly, Dick was kinda surprised. With how much of a perfectionist Dami was, he’d thought he’d throw himself into college with the same ferocious, competitive drive he did everything else. But then again, if Elle Nightingale was going to be taking a gap year or two, it wasn’t as if it was that much of a surprise that Dami would go and join her.

The two gremlins had been practically inseparable since they were twelve and discovered a shared love of stabbing people and adopting every animal they see. If Dami’s best friend was going to go gallivanting across the world like she always dreamed of doing, Dick couldn’t actually be that  surprised that Dami would be going with her.

Dick took a sip of his drink as Dami opened his mouth to continue with what was probably going to be to most people the world’s most harrowing game of “how many incredibly dangerous animals can we see before we end up dead on our gap year” that the two demons were undoubtedly planning.

He regretted taking that sip almost immediately as Damian said, “Night and I took our marital vows yesterday. She sends her regrets that she was unable to join us for family dinner tonight.”

Predictably, the room broke out into utter chaos.

Dick choked on his drink, spraying across the table and splattering Babs with a shower of wine. She didn’t even seem to notice, dropping her own glass as she snapped her head over to stare at Damian, the sound of breaking glass and a deep red stain pooling across the table following as she did. At the end of the table, Jay made a noise like a dying goose as the samosa he’d just popped in his mouth threatened to kill him. Cass, perhaps the most outwardly calm at the proclamation, only stared with wide eyes at her younger brother as she hit Jason on the back in an attempt to make sure he didn’t die.

Dick could practically hear the old shrieking AOL dial up noise that was Tim’s brain attempting to process what his little brother had just said, while sitting next to him Steph gave a small shriek of you what? Duke’s head was on a swivel, eyes darting from Damian, to another family member, to Damian and back again as if unsure who to even look at in the moment.

Bruce just…stared, frozen in place, face caught in the most open look of shock Dick thinks the man has ever shown in his life.

—

Damian sniffed and cast a caustic look towards - of all people - Jason, “Unlike some people, I share my good news with the family in a timely manner.”

Jay sputtered, “You know what, fuck you! Fine, you want me to share the news?” Jay snapped his head towards the rest of them. “Jazz is pregnant, baby is due next month on the sixth. Baby shower’s next weekend at Robinson Park, show up or don’t, I really don’t give a fuck.”

Or maybe he was just going to try to kill them with a heart attack.

“What the fuck?!”

“Language!”

“Who the fuck is Jazz?!”

“Language!”

“Night’s elder sister and guardian, Drake, keep up. You should know this, you’re dating her brother.”

“I’m what?”

“And Grayson is having flirtations with her other brother.”

“Dan is Elle’s older brother? Wait - how do you know about that?”

“Todd and I are in the Nightingale family group chat. We have endured far too much waxing poet about your posterior over the past months.”

“Why do they all have variations of the same name? Who gives all their children the same name?”

“He likes my ass?”

“Oh my god, bigger picture Dick, focus.”

“Seriously, do they all have the same name outside of the older sister? I feel like we need to acknowledge they all have the same name.”

“Can we go back to the fact that Damian got married? To Elle? Yesterday? How did you even do that without anyone knowing?

“Dr. Nightingale is a notary.”

“…Dr. Nightingale as in the woman Bruce is investigating Dr. Nightingale?”

“Okay but the name thing? Please tell me you’re not naming the baby some variation of the name Daniel.”

“If the gremlins get their way it will be. Do you know how many lists we’ve made that they keep sabotaging?”

“So you have Dan’s number? Could you give it to me?”

“Jesus Christ, Dick I’m begging you.”

“Why did you guys even get married?”

“For the diplomatic immunity.”

“You don’t have diplomatic immunity.”

“I do now.”

“What does that mean?”

Wrong Number AU

“I SWEAR TUCKER IF I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE “I WANNA END YOUR DAD, MARRY YOUR MOM, AND TURN YOU INTO MY EVIL STEPSON/HEIR AND IF YOU DONT IM JUST GONNA TRY CLONING YOU ONCE MORE” FRUITLOOP AGAIN FOR A SECOND TIME THIS WEEK I AM GOING TO LET MY ROUGES END ME, DONT CARE WHO, JUST GONNA LET THEM FINISH WHAT THE PORTAL ACCIDENT STARTED”

-sent by Unknown Number

When Jason Todd woke up that morning to check his texts. He wasn’t expecting this.

When Danny sent that rant text to what he thought was Tuckers number (his old phone got smashed in a recent ghost fight, Sam gave him a new one she wasn’t using, and Tucker was out of town for a while so he couldn’t help Danny transfer his data yet) he wasn’t expecting a rather cyptic response

“Wrong number kid. But just for my own curiosity and concern, who is and where can I find this Fruitloop? I just wanna have a chat with him.”

Don’t panic but I can’t find a pulse

Danny had plans okay? He had plans!?

He was going to meet with Lady Gotham and ask her permission for him to stay in Gotham before he excepted the acceptance letter to Gotham University. She couldn’t exactly say no due to him being of higher power in the Ghost Court but it would be rude of him to not ask. So that was the plan and it was a simple one that shouldn’t have gotten this screwed up.

Lady Gotham seemed to have a preference for rooftops and Danny wasn’t about to object to meeting her on one, him being in her domain and all. After she tells him it’s okay for him to chill in her city she disappeared quickly. When meeting with a domain or lair owner you get tunnel vision so you can only focus on the owner. Apparently it was a type of defense mechanism. Having home field advantage and all that jazz.

That being said Danny forgot he was on the edge of the roof facing the drop. He was already startled by coming back to himself when he heard someone softly land a few feet behind him. Turning around quickly he lost his footing on the slippery edge and decided this was embarrassing enough so he let gravity take hold and he fell.

He’s been thrown into enough building and has broken enough concrete with his back to know this fall won’t hurt him. When he hit the ground it felt more like he jumped on a hard bed. Not a pleasant feeling but it also doesn’t hurt. Danny just wasn’t expecting the person, who he now sees is Red Robin, who startled him to jump after him.

Laying there in a dirty alleyway after falling from a five story building isn’t his best move but it’s too late now. He laid still hopping Red Robin won’t fully notice him but of course he can never get what he wants.

Red Robin kneels down next to him and feels for a pulse Danny knows won’t be there. Red Robin says something he can’t quite catch into what he assumes is a com and then let’s out a quiet “shit” shaking his head. Danny opens his eyes and looks at him saying, “watch your language.”

He got a terrified screech in response.

Reblog to save because it’s funny

Phantom accidentally turned Darkseid into a 4 inch long gecko and-not realizing this is an evil god- kidnapped him and is keeping him in an enclosure in his bedroom.

It gives Jazz the creeps but she just chalked it up to the angry scowl the thing always had.

Everyone is looking for Phantom for different reasons but no one knows who he is or where to find him. Darkseid is stuck as a lizard and is trying really hard not to bond with this scrawny 14 year old-and failing.

Aka lizard Darkseid being defeated "power of love and friendship" style. Thats it. Thats the post.

It HIM

He wants to stay in his fluffy home!

I'm sorry so I just found out this is a thing.

Like there's bird who make nests out of mushrooms and cobwebs.

Which screams Danny phantom wing AU material to me.

Also

10000% could see little baby man doing weird crap like this 🤣🤣💖

But also look at how cool the nest is.

After long, unfruitful investigation, Bruce books an appointment. As Batman.

He fully intends to learn more about Jazz, and this appears to be the only avenue open to him. He is outfitted with every precaution in the book (especially magic prevention).

Jazz greets him with a gentle smile. Then sits him down, and asks how she can help.

Bruce: Hn.

Jazz: In your appointment, you indicated that you wished to investigate if I was the right therapist for you. I know you struggle with boundaries, so let’s discuss those first.

Bruce: Hn.

Jazz: I will never use interventions you have not explicitly consented to. This includes, but is not limited to, any medical, magical, or technological influence. In addition, I will not disclose any information I gain from these sessions, in any way, without your permission. I am willing to sign a magical contract enforcing such, which would prevent any chance of such information or actions being coerced from me using any mortal, technological, interdimensional, or magical means.

Bruce: …Hn

Jazz: you are welcome to inspect said contract. *places paper in front of him * I will sign it if you are satisfied, however long that may take. By necessity it is two sided, and if you sign you would also be magically bound, but as it currently stands your signature would bind you to nothing. Any negotiation you wish to have about the contents can be scheduled for your next appointment, but please let me know if you will be bringing counsel.

Bruce, suspiciously: Hn

Jazz: You are welcome to consult anyone you wish. If your investigation raises questions unrelated to my practice, please answer them using the proper channels.

Bruce: Hn

Jazz: Of course, if you would rather me not use the contract, that is also very much an option. I believed having an unbreakable assurance of my actions might reassure, but as everything it is optional.

Bruce: …hm

Jazz: I understand that security is important to you. I am not trying to hurt you or your city, but I do not expect you to take that on faith. As I morally oppose the methods of surveillance you normally employ, I am offering this as a compromise.

Bruce is sure the contract is a trap. He utilizes every precaution for moving and studying it. When all his information agrees with that said by Jazz, he calls in Constantine.

Constantine would like to know where Bruce got a soul binding contract made by the king of all the afterlife’s, and why it was set up to bind two humans, and how he had managed to negotiate getting it set up so well, and what type of contract protects Bruce and his family so well.

Constantine would like Bruce to know that there is no catch.

Constantine would like Bruce to know that the lack of a catch was almost certainly accidental, everything supernatural tries to add catches, and Bruce should seize the opportunity as fast as possible before the lack of catch is noticed.

And so, the next day, Bruce makes an appointment and signs the contract.

Jazz does too.

She folds her hands together, and Bruce waits for her to try and exploit a catch she had messed up putting in the contract.

Instead, she smiles, and asks how he’s been doing.

It takes a months worth of appointments before Bruce realizes that she literally intended there to be no catch, she’s just here for therapy, and by then he is,, feeling better? His children are happier? He is more effective as a person??

It is reluctantly that he admits that those people who kept telling him he needs therapy might have been right.

So I've seen a lot of "Jazz works as a therapist at Arkam" in the dp x dc fandom, and while I like the concept, I also feel like Jazz would take one look at the place and immediately be like "what the absolute fuck" at just the everything of the place.

Like, she either nopes out after the tour during the interview or quits not too long afterward starting there, not because she can't take it but because she's so appalled by what's going on there and can smell the corruption rolling off the place and knows no one sent to there is ever actually going to get the help they need.

So Jazz decides to open a private practice instead while still being absolutely determined to work with the various rogues in the city, she is here to help and nothing is going to stop her.

So she just starts showing up at known hangouts of rogues and during their heists/schemes/sprees, and even fights between them and the batfam, just like

"Hi! It’s so nice to meet you! My name is Dr. Jasmine Fenton/Nightingale/whatever last name she’s using and I was hoping we could talk!"

Casually kicks a baterang away without looking because she's being polite and professional!

"I understand that your experience with therapy through Arkam has been nothing but atrocious and that you are rightfully -"

Kicks Batman away without breaking eye contact or a sweat.

"Suspicious of attempting therapy again, and Idon't want to force anything on you, therapy should be on your terms after the experiences you've had but -"

Grabs Robin out of the air as he leaps at the rogue she's talking to and tucks him under her arm, ignoring his feral hissing and all attempts to break her hold.

"-I really think that you'd find it beneficial, even if I'm not the right therapist for you."

The rogue in question is having the time of their life and takes Jazz's business card - and a few extra to pass around - not really intending to actually ever book a therapy appointment with her but way too entertained and excited to share this madness with everyone else.

But then one of the rogues actually looks up Jazz's website and sees all the various safe guards she’s put in place to ensure that any villians that come to her will be protected while seeing her - soundproof therapy room, regular sweeps for listening and tracking devices, the most insane firewalls and protections anyone has ever seen on her network, and ooh she provides snacks and drinks!

So someone finally books an appointment with her, half convinced she's either going to turn them in or is a villain herself intent to experiment on them, but then it’s actually really nice??? And they feel a lot better afterwards?? She doesn't even say anything to indicate that she wants them to stop being villains, she just wants them to be okay??

So more and more rogues start going to her, and Batman was already losing his mind about this woman before - Oracle can't hack her system?!? And her background check shows a totally normal Psychiatrist?? - but now half of Gotham's heavy hitters and a dozen or so other minor league villains are seeing her regularly and every time he tries to get info on any plans the rogues might be scheme via her office it fails utterly. Nightwing got knocked out with something called a creep stick and when he tried to break in himself to get answers she just appeared out of no where and gave him the most scathing lecture about doctor-patient confidentiality before bullying him off her property and threatening to sick her brother on him if he tried again?

And because she's become such a figure in the Gotham underworld, she gets the attention of Joker.

And everyone, rogues and Bats alike, are terrified that she’s going to try and take him on as a patient like she has so many other villains in the city and that's just a recipe for tragedy.

But then the Joker is on his way to the hospital with two broken legs and the fear of god beat into him babbling about eldritch nightmares and whenever anyone asks Jazz what happened she just shrugs and just says things like "I refused him as a patient, he's not my problem." Or "My brother doesn't like clowns." And just, does not elaborate.

Batman is losing his mind over it all. Jazz is just happy to be able to actually help the rogues. Arkam is less happy about how she absolutely destroys their reputation.

*drops into the reblogs to save *

Everyone Right here right now. Stop what You’re doing and give me your thoughts. What’s on your mind? How’s it going? Yeet your funky little mind worms at me

Baby feral Danny just EaTiNG Red Hood will live on in my dreams

dp x dc prompt #36

i’ve seen a lot of prompts about de-aged danny running around gotham from the GIW, and one of the bats find him and practically adopt him on the spot.

what i want to see is a very self sufficient four year old danny that has already been successfully escaping for a while with just some minor help from gotham, and is only found because he’s doing something stupid while running away from someone.

i want danny getting chased by the GIW through the city, and the bats only notice when he tarzan swings by them with laxer fire chasing him.