I Wonder If Our Music Lessons Will Look Like This One Day. I Hope They Do

I so love the dynamic of you standing over me while you use my body. Dominating me just with presence alone 🥵

God this one is so appealing, and I don’t have a total understanding of why. It’s hard to explain how I can like sex with you when it’s very methodically discussed/agreed upon and I can also like sex with you when there’s less dialogue and there’s instead just one person taking charge and having their way with the other. My best guess is that there’s a deep feeling of safety that I have with you that even when you’re treating me like your toy, I know it won’t be in a way that harms me.

i dont know man. Either way I’m super turned on now and I want this real bad. Another pro of not having roommates is that this becomes achievable 👹

touch me like you own me. come up behind me and squeeze my tits while we're cooking. flip up my skirt whenever I bend over, slide my panties to the side and wet your fingers there. put them in my mouth afterward. make me spread my legs and show you my pretty cunt while you work.

just, treat me like your favourite toy

Your tongue can only reach so far. I want to taste the smoke and feel its heat as it fills the rest of the space in my mouth.

Dinner is served

Did you ever think how pretty you would be as a captive slave? That you could just be in a cage or just tied up anywhere, naked and ready for whenever your master decides to use you.

I know you're wet reading this, the idea of being a sex toy just delights you and that is so…. Awesome. Someday you will be like this, bound, gagged and wet all day long for what it causes you to be just a pathetic sex toy.

nothing makes me feel filthier than you making me talk when I’m choking on your fingers or your cock. It will get me dripping every time

“who owns this pussy baby? hm?

say it again i can’t hear you…

louder…

aww what’s the matter baby, can’t speak with your mouth full?

yeah? no no no, don’t try and pull away from me, tell me again, who owns this pussy?

you’re gonna stay right here and choke on my dick until you tell me”

It’s just like the watermelon challenge 👹

I wanna make him remove my panties with his teeth while he struggles to keep his hands behind his back.

this. I want you to push my body to its limits solely for your own gain. Just so I can show you how good of a toy I am for you

inspection/experiment kink but it’s about a new, slightly inexperienced dom using me to figure out what they like. blindfolding and tying me down carefully, watching me squirm for several long minutes before going god, that’s nice. starting to touch and grope me, growing bolder and bolder until i’m feeling thoroughly objectified, and hearing them say yeah, this is cute. it’s fun pretending you’re a toy like this. asking me to call them different names and titles while they’re edging me, and hearing their rushed inhale when i say the perfect one for them. say that again, pet.

topping and bottoming in different ways before deciding on what they prefer while i’m fucked out and oversensitized beneath them. writing all their newfound favorite pet names on me, until my skin is covered with fucktoy and pretty plaything and good mutt. fingering and stroking me until they’ve found out just how to drag the right whimpers and moans out of me; accidentally pinching my nipples a little too hard so that i yelp, and immediately saying oh, that one’s my favorite. pushing their fingers carefully down my throat until i start to gag, and then: aw, are those tears? they’re a good look on you.

raining slaps on my chest, my face, my thighs, until they’ve got the rhythm and technique down. forcing a particularly loud scream from me the first time you land a slap perfectly between my legs, and laughing in delight. fuck, darling. you know, i think i might be a sadist.

it was a bad day

I’m trying something new. My default reaction to unfavorable outcomes is to damage control the bad emotions quickly and put as much distance from the situation as possible. To me, the negative emotions that I may experience are ephemeral, and if I just give myself enough time, they will naturally resolve with minimal effort. I imagine that’s why I have such a difficult time viewing journaling as an effective coping method. It immortalizes a bad experience when all I want to do is forget about it.

With that said, I think there are some valuable things to gain from doing it, so I want to attempt it here. Today was a bad day. Realistically, I think there have been various bad events recently that aggregated to make today feel really shitty.

1) I was rejected from Stanford and Boston University. At no point in this process did I think that I would get accepted to Stanford so I was mostly unfazed by the rejection. Boston University, however, did feel within my reach so getting that email stung a little more.

2) there’s been this relentless feeling of having so many restrictions/limitations on doing the things that I want. Between frequently getting held up at work, the days being shorter, needing to balance my time between friends, family, and my boyfriend, I just get the overwhelming sense that there aren’t enough hours in the day. 3) I feel like I should be improving in so many aspects of my life, but I’m not. I told myself that once I was done with my secondaries, my schedule would just open up and I’d be able to do all the things that I’d set aside in favor of prioritizing medical school. And yet here I am with no secondaries to do but still feeling like I’ve made no measurable progress in certain arenas of my life. (2 and 3 feel related)

4) I continue to struggle with getting my relationship with my sister to a place that I’m happy and comfortable with. Because of that, time devoted to her and my nephew sometimes leave me feeling agitated. This agitation can then extend to my parents. 5) I went in for my annual physical and I got my covid booster and flu shot. The shots in combination wrecked me and left me feeling physically ruined for about 48 hours. After the aches and pains subsided though, I developed a sore throat that has been lingering. Mild enough to not be debilitating but significant enough to annoy me. It’s not the end of the world, but thinking that I may be sick during the Orlando trip is probably upsetting me more than I want to admit. 6) I broke a nail and I got a hole in one of my favorite shoes 😕

All of these things in combination resulted in me reacting poorly to a rather trivial situation this morning. While I was on the phone with my boyfriend during my commute, my mom called to do our morning check in. I answered her and she proceeded to vent some of her frustrations about my sister and her divorce. The conversation was brief and I quickly called my boyfriend back. I had it in my mind that I would tell him the details and he would weigh in on the situation with his opinion. Especially considering that last night we didn’t get a chance to talk about some of the things that I wanted to. But the conversation was steered in a different direction and I found myself frustrated at how asymmetric the conversation felt. At the time, I was simmering in my frustration, unable to redirect the conversation to a place that I was happier with, withdrawing more and more as time went on.

At the time, I blamed the outcome of the conversation on my boyfriend’s personality, citing that his ability to mobilize his thoughts quicker than me allowed for him to dominate a conversation and fill it with endless thoughts of his own choosing. Now I realize that while that may be true, it’s hardly the entire picture. A conversation doesn’t end like that because he can think of more to say in a quicker timeframe. It ends like that because I never make it known to him that I have something that I want to say. No person, not even the love of my life, is responsible for knowing what I want at any given time. It is my responsibility to make what I want known. The difficulty that I have with being able to ask for what I want is a different beast and one that I’ll be saving for a different journaling attempt. But for now, I’m happy to have identified something that needs improvement.

So it was a bad day. But I’m glad that it was because it means that we have work to do. But it also proved that the two of us are in this together to do that work. That is exactly the kind of relationship I want ♥️❤️

I want him to tie my legs apart, hold a vibrator on my pussy and then slap my sensitive clit <3

I love you giving me the illusion of choice when you’re the one entirely in control