Short DPXDC Prompts #537

best thing about uncle iroh is that if you pay attention he is actually just as much of an idiot as zuko but has just mastered the art of coming across as a wise old man. the even better thing is that zuko is the only one on the planet who somewhat realizes this and no one would ever believe him because he's zuko

gonna miss this show

Smol Alastor is back and he's heckin' ruthless

I'm experimenting with how I wanna do comics. I have a few I wanna do that are Hazbin Hotel related as well as others.

go read High Hawk Season RIGHT NOW please and give it some love, i love the characterization in it <3

THANK YOU. Finally someone says it!

I can’t even count the number of fics and hp theories I’ve read that completely ignore this fact. 

I honestly think the reason why so many people forget this is because the characters themselves never acknowledge it. And the fact that most of the people Harry surrounds himself are firmly entrenched in Magical Society. He has a lot of Pureblood allies and friends for example. I don’t think many of them understand just how deep discrimination can go. Nor do I think they understand the difference between being called a blood traitor vs a mudblood. It’s the difference between being sympathetic to muggles rather than actually being related to one and that shit matters. 

They associate anti-Muggle sentiments with Voldemort and the Death Eaters. In their minds, as soon as they’re defeated everything will go back to normal! Normal just being more subtle and unspoken discrimination that can be waved away by the few well-meaning but ignorant Purebloods, “Oh Sally from accounting said something to you? You must’ve misunderstood! I know her very well, she’s no Death Eater.” 

I’ve lost my point, if you can’t tell I’m really interested in the politics behind hp discrimination, I’m very sad that there aren’t more fics about it pre and post-Voldemort. But back to Tom. 

Another factor is the fact that Dumbledore canonically theorizes Tom had a gang of Slytherins following him called the Knights of Walpurgis (KoW) during school. I think that bit of canon is absolute garbage and I hate it because as you said: he’s perceived Muggleborn. I swear every time I read a fic with this ‘gang’ that isn’t a crack fic I want to scream. 

You’re telling me that this man worked in customer service for years voluntarily? When he had like 5 Sugar Daddies on speed-dial? Honey, please. Magic I can rationalize but KoW is just straight up unrealistic. 

Also, fun fact Dumbledore 100% knew Tom wasn’t a Muggleborn because of his Parseltongue abilities (or at least suspected). This man let Tom be discriminated against and did not say a WORD. Nor did he attempt to help find Tom’s family. And poor feral baby Tom probably didn’t tell another soul about his ability to speak to snakes during school because of Dumbledore’s reaction when he told him. 

Considering his Catholic upbringing in addition to Dumbledore’s response to learning about his in-built Snake Google Translate, Tom was probably like “Ok so the Magical world also has bad associations with snakes. Good to know.”

And then Tom probably found out Parseltongue was an indicator for Slytherin ancestry during the Chamber fiasco and flipped the fuck out. Because that meant his elitist-ass housemates were disrespecting him in what was essentially his own fucking house??? I’d be mad too if I went to school somewhere where the students worshipped the ground the founder walked on and used the founder’s beliefs to try and prove I didn’t belong. And then discover that I was related to the founder they would use as a reason to bully me? The audacity. I’d implode on the spot. 

(In answer to your last query, I headcanon that his hiatus from Britain was so he could re-brand himself. Tom Riddle was the bullied Slytherin Muggleborn. He had to disappear. Voldemort was the messiah-like cryptid who emerged from the shadows with all of life’s answers. He just needs your first born.)

Tom Riddle, aka, Voldemort was canonically perceived to be a muggleborn for many years before he found out about Merope Gaunt. Because only for muggleborns does a teacher visit the parents/guardian/orphanage. Harry was simply given a letter even though he lived in the muggle world, while McGonagall visited Hermione.

In the same vein, Dumbledore visited Tom’s orphanage to inform him about Hogwarts. 

where am i going with this?

the sorting hat put a perceived muggleborn in Slytherin. Don’t try to tell me that oh no, the sorting hat knows who or what you and your ancestors are. No it doesn’t. It reads your mind. it’s very much possible (and by that, i mean i’m certain) that the gaunts did not attend hogwarts.

He might’ve turned out to be a half blood, but at the time, he was considered muggleborn, both by magic and by himself-even though he hated the thought of it.

there are muggleborns in slytherin.

slytherin is cunning and ambition. not blood purity.

(also, i do not understand how people like the malfoys and the blacks and the lestranges and other blood purity fanatics followed a perceived muggleborn. like did voldy tell them that oh no, i’m a half blood? or was it because he was so charismatic that he made them forget that essentially, he was not a pureblood?)

I have this headcanon for Alastor's back story where he's trans, and just as himself, as he is in the show, even as a kid. So his parents sent him of to a convent, were upon ww1 breaking out in his late teens, he ran away, forged a new identity as a man, got found out once he was already over seas, blackmailed a superior into letting him stay on, where he was introduced to radio communication, and the rest is history.

But all that to say, I like to then imagine, whenever anyone tells him something mildly outlandish, but definitely true, he likes to respond with "Yes, Vox, and I took a vow of celibacy when I was a catholic nun"

To which of course people think, "so you don't belive me? I mean but aren't you a virgin? Are you not????"

And of course, this never gets asked because who's gonna ask The Radio Demom about his Sexy Life.

Angel Dust that's who.

I imagine him doing an interview on Al's Show, just a mix of publicity for them both, hanging out because they're friends, and it's all a big middle finger to the Vee's.

Maybe it's pride month and so they were planning some talk about that, Alastor joking about a possible comming out, even though its plenty well know Alastor is some where on the ace spectrum to anyone with eyes.

They get on the topic somehow, Angel says something like, "I never laid myself across the bar like that! Second set of arms at most! Never my butt, never mind my legs! not after the first time!"

"Mh-hm. You got desperate in your flirting, and I took a vow of celibacy, when I was a nun. We all do silly things, Angel."

"Well, maybe I've laid out on the pool table, but it makes for good pictures. Anyway, I been meaning to ask you about that."

"About being a nun?

"No," angel laughs, plays it off, thinking he's joking. "About your being ace and all. No pressure, but like, you really never even wanted to try?"

"No, I find it quite repulsive. The idea even,"

"You don't watch nothin'? Read nothing either?"

"Ha! No! The filthy little novel Sister Amillia sneaked in the once was quite enough- are you okay Angel?"

Angel had infact just chocked on his latte. "Wait? Sister Amillia? Sneaked in? To where!?"

"The convent, Angel. I was 14, she was 16. Wonderful woman, taught me how to handle a knife, she left shortly after the novel was discovered- Sister Tabitha was as squeaky a little rat as she looked- never saw Amillia again, though."

"Wait, sorry. You were a nun, like, actually? What the fuck?"

One of the little lights that says they have a caller lit up, but Alastor ignore it for now. "Yes, Angel, do keep up."

"Wait, so like that nun costume you wear on halloween?" Angel blows right past the fact Alastor just came out as trans, because yeah. Didnt see it comming but, the trains already wizzing by, and more importantly- "Is that like your actual nun costume?"

"Ha! No, I flung that horrid thing in a garbage can on my way to the enlistment office when I was 17."

"Enlistment?" Angels begining to see what Alastor meant when he said this episode was going to be a unique experience for his listeners at the start of the braodcast. "Like world War 1, right? You were alive for that..."

"Yes, I figured with all the confusion one little girl-"

Angel's phone goes off. It's Val. Angel hits ignore.

"Fuck off Val, I'm off today" Angel says into his mic.

But they get interrupted again and again until Angel turns his phone off.

At which point all twelve of the little light that indicate the show had callers on the line, light up.

"Ah fuck. What does he want that bad? Can you just answer it real quick?"

Alastor flips a switch and answers.

"The fuck you want Val-"

"I'm not calling for you!" It's Vox on the other end, his voice booming from the speaker "Alastor! Are you fucking serious? You were a fucking nun?"

"Yes, Vox." He says with faux patience. "My goodness, did you all stuff your ears with cotton this morn-"

"So you DID actually take a vow of Celibacy? The other day at the meeting during my presentation, you said "that'll work, Vox, sure- and I took a vow-"

"Yes. I was there."

"And!?!"

"Celibacy, among other things. If this is a dig at my sexuality than-"

"Nah fuck that, hang on I'm doing math! Okay you were born in 1901, makes you 17 in 1918, yeah that tracks. Okay so 2024 make you 123, minus the 17 years to be conservative, thats 106 yeah?"

"I was 15 when I took that vow, and under threat of being institutionalized, if that's what you're getting at-"

"108! Ha! Oh my God! 108 years! That's gotta be a record!"

"What are you getting at Vox?"

"You took a vow!" Vox screams through his laughter. "All the pomp and circumstance! On consecrated ground! before god!? To abstain from sex! And even here in hell, were sin and blasphemy are rampant and free-"

"Careful Vox, your televangelist is showing-"

"Who gives a fuck!? You're the one whos upheld their vow to God for over a century like some devout saint!"

Angel and Alastor sit there staring at eachother while Vox laughs his head off around them

"Saint Alastor the Abstinent! The pantron Saint of Virgi-"

Alastor hangs up. "Well that was informative!" Alastor chirps "Well, What's to be done about this? Hm, Angel?"

And for some reason, an unholy one, surely, the first thing out of Angel's mouth is "I could suck you dick? If that- would count?"

And it's a testament to how far they've come as friends, or pooooossbily Alastor's nerves, or maybe his sheer unwavering bravado, but Alastor only bursts out laughing, shaking his head as he get out between laughter "I don't- have one!"

And then they're both laughing and laughing and laughing, and eventually they calm down, and Alastor gets a thoughtful look. "Though, Vox did have one good point."

"Oh?"

"That does have to be a recorded, at least among sinners. Why! I very well might have redeemed myself! We should certainly bring this up with Sera at the next conference!"

And then their off both laughing again, imaging Serra's face when she realises she's going to have to look into yet more research onto the workings of redemption from Heaven's end.

Amorpho Whomst? (DC x DP)

Everyone knows that King Phantom's appearance fluctuates based on his mood and the task ahead.

Dynamic battle, working in a team to achieve the impossible? King Phantom is a young boy of 14, quippy despite the inherent sadness of a child ghost.

Showboating, standing in front of a powerful enemy to tell them that "No, Earth is already occupied." or to a ghost: "You've taken it too far this time." And King Phantom is a huge man with red eyes and hair that flickered like candleflame.

And if the mission was sabotage and espionage, sneaking into fortresses previously impregnable? King Phantom is a girl, even more unsettlingly young than the first.

Danny has no idea why everyone has so much trouble keeping the three of them straight - constantly referencing events that happened while he was on sabbatical from JLA work. However, Danny does appreciate that because technically all three of them are technically the same person that the King workload can be spread out a bit - those realms are infinite after all.

take it.

Me after I’ve finished a fanfic:

Now I want to read the same story but slightly to the left

I know everyone's already said this, but Vox is so funny because he's quite literally the most competent and professional Vee.

EXCEPT for when it comes to Alastor.

Like, HE’S the one who had to calm down Valentino and keep him from making a scene. (Especially because, yes, it looks bad if they can't control their employees, but - even in hell - it looks even worse if their top pornstar has to be dragged to the studio vs walking in on his own).

Velvette doesn't give a shit about professionalism. Like, Vox wanted to talk to Carmine about Angelic Security, and you think THAT'S how he wanted Velvette to treat her to try to guarantee them working together? Absolutely not.

(Also, Vox being able to immediately turn the tide of the paparazzi harassing him about news that JUST broke? Granted, he did use his hypnosis, but it wouldn't have worked if he didn't immediately come up with something on the fly. He knows how to keep his company running AND looking good, as WELL as being innovative enough to create new things with little to no notice.)

The other two Vees? I would not trust either of them to be the public speaker or the face of the company the way Vox is. Do you think either Velvette or Valentino would have been able to come up with a solution to the moved-up Extermination date in a way that pleased the general public?

But then. Some old timey radio deer shows back up and he immediately breaks down and can't plan for shit.

He sings a silly little song and immediately gets owned to the point he loses power to the entire city.

He plans to break in using a dude they KNOW is incompetent, and his only response when it (obviously) fails is to fucking gamer anon hate with "hahaha kys loser!" and the second he is confronted with Alastor’s face he can't do anything. He doesn't even try a single other thing after this point, cutting his loses entirely.

And THEN he avoids the meeting sending Velvette instead, potentially fucking up their ability to collaborate because he can't handle seeing Alastor.

This bisexual wreck of a television doesn't fucking leave his gamer dungeon once since Alastor is back, doing everything he can to avoid seeing him in real life.

Like, imagine what dealing with Vox is like from Alastor's perspective. HE never sees the professionalism or competence - he ONLY ever gets the pathetic mew-mew Vox!

Alastor is constantly being told how competent Vox is with his company and shit, but the second he's in the same room with him Vox is glitching and can't walk in a straight line without running into a wall or something. If I were Alastor, I'd have fun teasing the television too, because, like, what's wrong with him? It's funny!

Like, does Alastor register that this treatment is only for him, or does he think the rest of hell is pathetic enough to not notice or to just accept it? Does Alastor think Vox is like this all the time, and he's using his hypnosis to make everyone else forget about it?

Vox is just such a funny man, he has one weakness and it's just Alastor - and Alastor isn't even doing anything, he's just nearby minding his own goddamn business, lmao.