Dick: Uh, Tim, Why Do You Have A Gold Sticker On Your Arm?

Retired!Pariah Dark AU

Jazz is having the time of her life psychoanalyzing Danny’s rogues and helping them with their troubles. Eventually she even convinces Clockwork to give Dan a chance at redemption. 

Unfortunalety, Jazz doesn’t know when to quit and decides to try her hand at extending a helping hand to someone everyone else labels a lost cause. 

Pariah Dark. 

And it works! Eventually. Somewhat.

Well he won’t be killing anyone or crushing ghost cores, and that’s about all they can ask for. 

Danny is still the king. But Pariah can now give his successor advice on what not to do. Also Danny sometimes throws paperwork duty at Pariah now that Dan’s parole is over and refuses to do it.

In conclusion, Pariah Dark becomes their new grandpa (Clockwork is obviously the weird grunkle) and he has no idea what he’s done to deserve this torture. 

Inspired by @bywolfstar on Tiktok and the lovely art by @krossan

Alastor's Furby Organ - Fic Prompt

Vox is attempting to sell the benefits of advancing technology to Alastor for the umpteenth time, either genuinely or patronizingly, when Alastor sees it.

The second greatest piece of technology he's ever laid eyes on.

He interrupts Vox in the middle of his tirade and zips up to it and is absolutely tickled pink by its creepiness and charming exterior.

Alastor, trying not to sound excited: And what's this delightful little thing?

Vox: Oh that's a Furby, a creepy kids toy up top, we're thinking of scrapping it actually-

Alastor: Oh? Then maybe I can take them off your hands.

Time skip to a few months later, Alastor and Vox are having another battle (duet) when Alastor manifests a new instrument Vox has never seen him play before made up of-

Oh no. no. no. nononono. NO.

A fucking Furby Organ!?

This is so accurate. I'm screaming.

Coming into a fandom late

DP x DC Writing Prompt #9

"Are you sure about this?" J'onn asks, reading the discontent amongst the Kents. Clark and Lois each have a hand on their teenage son's shoulders, who several weeks prior was aged ten years old.

"We're sure," Clark says. He is not, nor is his wife. But his son is, who lays his hand on his mother's and squeezes. It is that surety that J'onn honors as he delves into the young (but not as young as he should be) man's mind.

The memories are hard to find but not gone, hidden behind what Jon can only see manifested as a glowing green wall. When he raises a tentative hand, the shield sparks green, but does no harm. Pushing through is like wading through the consistency of jello, which he finds an overall unpleasant experience. But he is unharmed as he passes through.

Before J'onn can sort through the memories he is all but sucked into the one at the forefront, where a Jon most similar in visage to the one recently returned perches on the edge of a building. Beside him lies a burger, partially unwrapped though uneaten, and a small soda.

As the memory builds out a sun sets on a small suburban town, and a muscled thigh knocks into Jon's, an older man with a shock of white hair and eyes the same light and color as the shield formed around these memories appearing. He's tall even sitting, likely about as tall as Superman, and looks to be in his thirties. A full body suit comprised of black and silver accents stretches across broad shoulders, a stylized D on his chest. He knocks his thigh into Jon's again.

"You said I couldn't go back," Jon says quietly.

"I lied," the man says lightly.

"You're lying now," Jon says, glaring at him. "I can hear your heart."

"Nice try, kiddo, I don't have a heart in this form," the man says, reaching a hand out, presumably to ruffle his hair. Jon dodges.

"I know you're lying. You would've told me. You would've helped me get home."

"Jon--"

"You're protecting Clockwork, aren't you?" Jon demands, eyes beginning to burn red. "That old coot decided it wasn't enough to play with you, he had to play with me too."

The man slaps a hand over Jon's eyes. "Breathe, like we practiced," he instructs firmly. Steam rises from where his palm meets Jon's eyes, but if it hurts he shows no indication. "In, 2, 3. Out, 2, 3."

Jon whimpers but heaves a breath, and the burst of red light dies down from between the man's fingers. His hand moves down to Jon's shoulder.

"I can't pretend to understand Clockwork's decisions," the man says, as tears begin to pool in Jon's eyes. "Frankly, I don't want to. I suspect they are hard decisions to make, sometimes."

"I don't get why you defend him," Jon says. "Dumbledore acting bastard."

"Language," the man says, lightly bopping him on the head. J'onn notes the boy actually winces, as if the blow hurts.

"I am upset with him, I hope you know that," the man continues. "But at the end of the day I'm also grateful. Because I got to meet you." He hooks an arm around Jon's shoulders, pulling him in. "And now you'll get to see your family again. And Sally, Arnold, and Damian!"

Jon sniffles, rubbing roughly at his face. He leans into the man's bicep. A trusted adult figure, then. One he's described his life to. A life, J'onn is sad to note, he appears to have lived for the past six years, as opposed to a sudden shift in appearance. Jon's next question all but confirm it: "Can I really go back? It's been so long. They'll be all grown up."

"Hey, of course you can," the man says, rubbing his shoulder. "I'm sure they've missed you so much. They'll be so happy to see you again."

Jon starts to smile. "I'm going home."

"You're going home!" The man laughs, shaking him.

"I can finally eat some decent barbecue again!"

"Hey!" the man protests, "The smoker blew up one time!"

Jon continues, beginning to get excited. "And Ma will make her jalapeño cornbread! I never could get it right, I can't wait for you to try it!"

J'onn notes the older man's smile fading, eyes growing sad.

"And Damian will definitely want to spar and oh, oh! With you on our side we can totally prank Batman! I bet Alfred will even help! And Mom gives the best hugs, Pops comes really close but Mom will be really excited to meet you, everyone will."

"Jon," The man says.

"I knew you'd be worried about it, but they'll want to meet you," Jon says, clocking his expression. "They'll be grateful. You, you helped me. You kept me safe and taught me how to be Superman. They'll love you, I promise."

"Jon, I can't go with you," the man says gently.

"I'm not saying you stay, but you can visit! I'm sure the Justice League can figure out a way to maintain a portal, they're super used to all that multiverse stuff. Once they have the coordinates, you can stop by whenever!"

"I can't go through the portal, Jon," the man says. "To other worlds, I'm a god. And gods can't interfere. The only reason I can continue to live here is because this is the world of my origin."

Jon gapes at him. "But--but,"

"You're going to see your Mom and Dad again," the man says. "And your brother, and grandparents."

"I can come here, then," Jon says desperately, pushing his way out of the man's arms. The man is already shaking his head. "I can!"

"You can't."

"Why, because Clockwork says so? He's a liar!"

"Because multiverse travel is never a good idea. If you got trapped here again--"

"I wouldn't,"

"You belong with your family,"

"You're my family!" Jon cries. The man freezes. "You, and Sam, and Jazz, and Tucker and Val and Ellie and Pops and Mads, you're all my family! I can't just leave you, I won't!"

"Oh kiddo," The man says, eyes wet. "I love you too. We all do."

"So I'll stay," Jon says decisively. "For all we know my world is a wasteland. Gramps wasn't exactly right in the head when I left. It's better to stay here."

J'onn notes a green vine unwinding from a nearby trellis. It slides down the eave towards the pair.

"You don't mean that," the man is saying.

"I'm sixteen. I can make my own decisions. I'm staying."

The man cups Jon's face. "Your parents did not have a choice in losing you. I'm willing to bet they're devastated. Because I'd be devastated, losing a kid as great as you."

"Maybe they're not even there," Jon says, but the words are half-hearted, and it clearly hurts him to say them.

"I know I seem like a pushover, but if I thought Clockwork was sending you back to anything less than your loving family, I'd destroy him first. And he knows that. They're going to be there, I promise."

"I don't want to go," Jon says. Behind him, the vine rises from the eave of its own will, poised like a cobra enchanted by a snark charmer.

"I know," the man says, eyes drifting to the vine. "I'm so sorry, Jon."

"For what?" Jon asks, as the vine attaches itself to the nape of his neck. His eyes roll back as he collapses into the man's arms. The man hugs him tighter than is strictly necessary.

J'onn expects the memory to now end, alongside Jon's consciousness. To his curiosity, it does not.

"For what it's worth," a young woman spits bitterly, vines supporting her weight as she slips over the side of the roof. "I still think this is horrible." Her eyes are red and miserable.

"Seriously, team punching Dumbledore in the face," A young black man says, appearing in the air supported by a woman almost identical in appearance to the man holding Jon, down to the suit colors. They land on the rooftop.

"Are you sure about this," the dark haired woman with powers over plants asks. "Because to be honest, Danny, I'm five seconds away from punching you in the face."

"Jazz won't speak to you for months," the girl, likely his sister, points out.

"Make it a year," the man says, crossing his arms.

The man, Danny, ignores them all. He cards a hand through Jon's hair. "He'll retain the experience, but not the memories?"

"Yes, he'll be a perfect little superhero, just as you taught him," the woman says, vines twisting agitatedly around her, wrapping around her thigh, wrists and neck almost punishingly.

"Sam," the man says. "He needs to go home. All of you know that."

"He doesn't have to forget us to do so!" the sister bursts, eyes flashing green.

"Remembering would be a torment," Danny says. "He'll know he was loved. That's enough."

"Danny," the plant woman says, sitting beside them both. She puts a gentle hand on his, both on Jon's back. "This is just a different torment."

"And if someone finds out?" Danny asks. He has been patient amidst their scorn, but now a tiny edge ekes into his voice. "A god's child, unprotected? Threatened? He would never stop looking for a way back, and being vocal about it could get him killed."

The others are silent.

"He'll be home. He'll be happy," Danny says. More powerful than a prayer. A directive. He raises his head past the child slumbering in his lap, past them all, face hardening, and says to J'onn: "And you will say nothing."

J'onn takes a step back, fear so thick he could choke on it flooding his very being. Thismanwillkillhim, thismanwillkillhim.

This man will reach through dimensions and kill him.

"Now, get the fuck out of my kid's head," Danny snarls. J'onn is pushed back with enough force he enters his own mind in a vicious whirl that leaves him physically on the floor, gasping.

"I'm sorry," he says as Superman rushes to lift him, and he's not sure who he's apologizing to. Green eyes will pierce his dreams. Vines will crush his throat in his nightmares, screaming silence, silence.

You will say nothing.

"I'm sorry," J'onn says, politely pushing Clark's hands away as he rises. He's already beginning to calm, because he understands. Those are consequences he will not face. He will do as directed. He looks at Jon Kent, bewildered but unharmed, clutching his mother's hand.

J'onn reaches down and dusts at his pants. "I'm sorry," he says evenly, ready to spin his tale. Perhaps the Kents will continue to seek their answers. Perhaps not. He will stay out of it either way. He has been warned.

You were loved by gods. And to keep you safe, they would quiet us all.

Look I need more trans fem alastor so here' my post of

Trans Fem!Alastor HCs

It takes her a century to figure out her gender, and she still doesn't figure it out until Angel forces her to sit down infront of his power point

She doesn't change her name because she finds it funny and ironic. Alastor means Avenger. And the last name I hc her with means Purity. So her name means Avenger of Purity and she thinks that is peak comedy

Somehow, her dad jokes got worse.

Husk accepts her, but he's still grumpy to her and sometimes scared of her. Girl or not, that's the fucking radio demon damnit.

Rosie insists on dressing her. Alastor has no taste in fashion and coming out as trans is not going to fix that

She has cousins in hell. The only stink they make about it is now their numbers are skewed. There are now 3 girls and 2 boys. This causes a bit of a civil prank war within the group. It lasts for days. Alastor brought home a win on the last day, her two cousins admitting defeat at the hands of the master.

The only riot Vox causes is because He didn't see the signs before everyone else. They had been friends before, he kept up with most modern ideas. But he didn't relise people could trans their gender and now he's pouting he couldn't "help" her on her gender journey. Velvette thinks he's being fucking pathetic.

Velvette BEGS her to update her style. She doesn't of course, and makes all kinds of bitchy comments about with filled with laughter. So Velvette settles for giving her a box of vintage jewelry she's never going to wear. Alastor is going to pretend she isn't touched. She does wear a broch Velvette gave her as a part of her new outfit. Velvette considers it a win

Charlie slips up and accidentally calls her mom once. She's nonchalant and supportive about it, but inside she's screaming crying throwing up. She hates that she's so emotional about it

She doesn't end up getting surgeries or treatment or anything. That would be going too close to a doctor for her liking. Too close to asking for help. Besides, she hates change and enough has changed already. Give her a few years, and she might come around to the idea of having Lucifer magically trans her gender for her. She's just got to get used to the whole 'having come out as trans thing'.

One time, someone made a comment about her. And she reminded all of hell exactly who she is. She's the radio demon, and she got to power by being the most terrifying and overpowered soul she could be. No one made a comment about her again.

Zestiel doesn't quite get it, but he's supportive and stays close to her (I'm a big fan of the grandad zestiel stuff it's really cute)

Susan still picks on her. But she is glad that she got rid of that stupid Bob and let her curls grow out. She gives a lot of backward compliments that Alastor is just used to

When Carmilla saw her at the next over lord meeting, she just raised an eyebrow and didn't say anything about it. For once, Alastor didn't try to bring the subject to her latest venture.

The Kiss of Life - A utility worker giving mouth-to-mouth to co-worker after he contacted a low voltage wire, 1967

During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

Jason, in full Red Hood gear: Hey mom, can I borrow one of those new Thanagarian guns you guys got?

Diana: Sure, sweetie.

The rest of the League:

Bruce: *sighs*

The rest of the League:

The rest of the League:

Hal: wtf

2004 Batman + Rogues Kids Universe

Joker: Look Batsy we have a Robin too!

Harley: We're a happy family, Batman!

Duela: Hiya!

Batman: Are you alright kiddo?

Duela: Sure. Yesterday I had no family. Now I have parents. *picks a malet* AND WE HAVE FUN! *hits Batman* HAHAHAHA

Batman: I hope this does not become a trend.

-/-

Batman: Penguin, let the hostage go! What's going on with you? Kidnnaping kids isn't really your style.

Penguin: I didn't kidnnaped no one. I was just thinking what is the point of restoring the Cooblepot name if I'm the last Cooblepot? We need to have someone behind, legacy and all. But them it hit me. Did ya know, Batman, that is not uncommon for Penguins to adopt lost chicks.

Batman: You didn't adopt. How could you with your criminal record? You kidnapped him, the boy must be terrifield.

Martin: *writing in his little notebook-necklace* I'm not scared.

Penguin: Wack wack see the lad isn't scared.

Martin: *writing in his notebook* I'm happy. : ) they said I woudn't be adoped but we showed them, right dad?

Penguin: Right on point, little bird.

Batman: I understand you want a family, kid, but someone can't just go to an orphanage and take you.

Martin: *writing* why not? it works

Batman: I'm sorry, kid. But I have to rescue you.

Oswald: You're not taking Martin alway Batman. I'm his dad! *opens his umbrella and flys alway with Martin hugging him*

Martin: *throws a notebook page on Batman's* it says "wack wack".

Batman: That doesn't mean is a trend. It may be a coincidence.

-/-

Riddler: Riddle me this, Batman-

Batman: Not you too.

Riddler: What?

Batman: *points to the kid dressed in question marks who is fighting Dick*

Riddler: What's the problem with Enigma?

Batman: How did you even got that kid? Street kid? Kidnapped from an orphanage because they solved one of your riddles? Their parents weren't good?

Riddler: I'm the one who does the questions here, Batman. But just so you know. None of the above.

Enigma: *they pretend to lose so Dick went to surprise attack Riddler and was surprise attacked, he is now tied to a broken heavy robot he destroyed sulking* I saw that the rogues were getting kids so when I saw Riddler grocery shopping I followed him home and kept asking him to adopt me until he said yes.

Riddler: They were very insistent.

Robin: Wow that's real Arkham behavior of you.

Enigma: Thanks.

Robin: You're welcome. You are really loony.

Batman: I shouldn't try but why?

Enigma: I like riddles and his hair is great.

Riddler: Thank you, your hair is also amazing, sweetie.

Batman: Is someone looking for you?

Enigma: Don't think so.

Batman: Sure. That's my life now.

-/-

Batman: Oh great. Another evil kid and this one is five.

Cluemaster: You see Batman, I couldn't avoid following the trend.

Batman: So you kidnapped a child?

Cluemaster: No. She is my biological kid.

Robin: YOU procreated? How?

Cluemaster: That's suppose to be Batman's job, but since you asked when a man and a woman like each other very much...

Batman: Stop. Let's just go with it.

Cluemaster: Okay. Steph go fight the Boy Wonder, will ya?

Robin: I'm not gonna punch a baby!

Spoiler: *at the same time* Don't wanna.

Cluemaster: Steph we went over it.

Spoiler: Nu-uh.

Cluemaster: Okay, let's start again. Steph tell Batman what you want to be when you grow up.

Spoiler: *smilling* I wanna be a hero like batgirl.

Cluemaster: NOOO.

Batman: *super happy this is actually not another evil kid* I'm sure Batgirl will be really happy that she inspired such a cool hero.

Spoiler: She will?

Batman: Uh-hu.

Cluemaster: Don't encorage her. We are EVIL, Steph. E-V-I-L! Because that's what smart people are and you are smart.

Spoiler: But smart people win and mean guys lose.

Cluemaster: You are grounded!

Spoiler: *cries* 'm not. Batman his stupid puzzle is red. Press the button and instead of going boom everyone goes yay.

Robin: *presses the red button* *the hostages are free* God one, kiddo.

Cluemaster: NOOO. *pulls Steph by the hair* I'm taking you to your room. You are grounded forever.

Batman: Hell no. Robin.

Robin: Yes, Batman?

Batman: Maybe the other rogues were right.

Robin: Gotcha. *they kidnap-adopt Steph*

First Meeting