It Should Be Read From Left To Right And Up To Down. My Comfort Doujinshies. They're So Funny. I'd Watch

Voldemort: *showing up to a DE meeting with puncture marks everywhere*

Death Eater: My Lord! You fought with vampires!?

Voldemort: *flashback to that morning when he forgot to put warming charms on his snakes the night before AND locked them out of his bedroom so they all converged upon him in revenge* 

Voldemort: Yes

Parseltongue & Tom Riddle

I really need to see more fics with snakes being assholes and Tom having to suffer because they refuse to leave him alone. 

You can’t tell me on a cold night 20 something snakes wouldn’t stick to Tom like glue. 

Or the cat equivalent of sitting on your face while your asleep and suffocating you with fur. AKA noodle boi accidentally wrapping around his neck too tight. 

And snakes do not know boundaries:

Snake: damn it’s cold 

Tom: *minding his business*  

Snake: ah-ha! *shoots up Tom’s pant leg just a touch too far*

Tom: *shrieks* MOTHERFU-!

Lost & found by StupidoomDoodles- part12

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3  | Part 4 | Part 5 |

Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Bonus

Trunks gets sick

Queen B being awesome 😎

The looks on Trunks' face when he says "thanks Mama" 🙉 🙈

Angelic Alastor AU

The throuple's types:

Lilith: Gentlemen who drinks respect women juice, and can make her laugh, lil silly and goofy at times, who values her choices and decisions as an equal regardless of her standing as a mortal or a woman ahem Adam

Lucifer: Tall lmao headstrong individuals with elegance and a sharp wit and maybe has a sadistic streak lmao

Alastor: Powerful, defiant dreamers who sees beauty and potential in the most unlikely places, brimming with hope and wonder

dumping more misc. doodles of these two in one post

I think we can all agree Alastor and Rosie are in a QPR. Now, I propose we throw Vox in there-

Making another post based on Alastor knowing everything that plays over his airwaves, but this time combining the radiohuskerdust and radioapple

Angel decides they need a Boys Night, and coerces Alastor, Husk, and Lucifer to join him in drinking and listening to music (aka Alastor)

Angel forces them all to (if not wear pajamas) to be SEVERELY dressed down, and is like if you're wearing too many layers, we're playing strip poker until you're not *glare* so they dont

So Angel is in like a crop top hoodie and low-rise shorts, Lucifer is definitely in some kind of duckie pajamas, Husk is basically in the same outfit except he swapped out the pants for sweatpants, and Alastor is in a loose button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up and the top buttons undone, and comfortable slacks

And as they're drinking, Angel keeps requesting more and more random and obscure songs for Alastor to play (Lucifer is greatly confused by this, but then eventually joins in because he's never seen Alastor so indulgent in something so stupid before, and it's fun)

Eventually Alastor gets drunk enough to start singing along to the songs, and after just a few more drinks he grabs Husk and makes him dance with him (he grabs Husk because they've known each other for years and have basically done this every time they get drunk together)

Husk is enjoying the attention, because while Alastor owns his soul and they do have tense moments, they have known each other for years and Husk does genuinely care about him (and he thinks there Could be something, if Alastor only let it)

(Alastor will not, because even with them becoming close over the years, he is Uncomfortably aware of the power difference, and as a mixed man from the 30s, that is a line he will NOT cross. Meeting Angel and his issues with Valentino only confirms this to himself.)

It's at this point that Alastor drops the transatlantic voice and starts slurring in his Louisiana Creole, and his radio static keeps dropping out for his real voice to come through (both Angel and Lucifer are shot dead, they didn't know this was a possibility and now they're going to be thinking about it forever. Husk is only safe because he's experienced this before)

Angel immediately has to join in with the dancing, because Hot Deer Daddy being drunk and playful??? He needs IN immediately.

Lucifer is having a crisis, he thought he had a handle on thinking Alastor was hot, but then he brought his TAIL and his ACCENT and his DANCING and he's flushed and giggly and. Oh no. Maybe Charlie IS going to have a second father after all???

Alastor eventually coerces Lucifer into dancing too by asking if he's a bad dancer, and if that's why he's still sitting. Lucifer, obviously, has to prove him wrong. (He doesn't, but it's worth it because Alastor giggles and grabs him to correct his form.)

All 3 of them revel in Alastor being much more genuine than normal (and the fact that not only is he touching them as they dance, he doesn't seem to mind when THEY touch HIM), and the fact that they get so see Alastor not only dressed down and drunk, but him relaxed and dancing with his face flushed (they all wish he didn't hate cameras or video because they wish they could keep this memory forever)

Eventually, they have to wind down and end up in a giant cuddle puddle on the floor, sleepover style

The next morning is about as awkward as you'd think, especially since somehow Lucifer fell asleep practically on top of Alastor, and Alastor himself is surrounded on both sides by Angel and Husk (which he could have handled if he was the first one to wake up so he could escape, but no, Charlie came downstairs and squealed so loud it woke up all 4 of them and made them come to terms to how they were cuddling each other. Hell.)

When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny.  She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock. 

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 

“I still want a sword.” I said. 

But I’ve heard people questioning if Snape was really traumatized by SWM. At first I had no idea what they were on about. How could Snape not be traumatized? Why are you even questioning this? But I figured what they meant was: why doesn’t Snape act the way I know traumatized characters to act? Why isn’t he having flashbacks or breaking down when being exposed to his triggers? 

Snape’s trauma is the angry aggressive kind. Snape’s trauma can be mistaken for a “grudge”. Because it’s not what people understand trauma to be.

In HBP, Harry was trying to crucio Snape and do all this other stuff, and Snape was so unbothered by it. But the moment Snape noticed Harry was about to cast levicorpus on him, Snape completely lost his shit. Below was Snape’s response to Harry trying to cast levicorpus on him.

“No, Potter!” screamed Snape. There was a loud BANG and Harry was soaring backward, hitting the ground hard again, and this time his wand flew out of his hand.

This is Snape’s response to Harry trying to crucio him. Literally torture him.

But Snape parried the curse,

Like a casual “whatever”. Yeah Harry got knocked off his feet, but he didn’t go soaring backwards like he did when Snape responded to Harry’s levicorpus.

During occlumency lessons Snape manhandled Harry and threw him out of the room, after seeing Harry watching James Potter humiliate him.

I shouldn’t have to add disclaimers to my post, disclaimers should be givens. But unfortunately we haven’t reached that point yet.

Disclaimer: I don’t approve of Snape hurting Harry more than what he had to (Snape still had to defend himself in HBP) and I don’t approve of Snape physically hurting Harry in Snape’s Worst Memory chapter. 

I’m not saying that Snape’s way of expressing his trauma is okay. He needed therapy to help him learn to deal with and express his trauma in a less problematic way. The point is that Snape’s trauma is overlooked and lessened. Snape’s PTSD is called a “grudge.” 

Snape had a grudge against James Potter vs Snape was still traumatized by James Potter.

James’ change.

I will always maintain that James changed for the better. I won’t argue my point, because I’m not here to convince you that James changed.

There seems to be this “unspoken” “implied” message that because James changed, the damage he did to Snape doesn’t count anymore. Okay yeah James hurt Snape, but James changed, why can’t Snape just get over it?

I have zero problem with the idea of James changing. He grew as a character, happens to be morally grey, and actually has the capacity for good? Not a problem with me. He changed? Great.

If people spoke about James’ change like he fits in with one of the themes in HP, that people can change for the better.

But unfortunately James’ change isn’t spoken about like that. James’ change is treated like some sort of band aid to slap on Snape’s trauma. 

I am okay with James changing if we’re speaking about James’ overall character, as well as his character development. But, if a post is specifically about Snape’s trauma, then I don’t care how much James changed, and I don’t think “but James changed” should be slapped on any original post talking about the very real post traumatic stress disorder that Snape has because of James and Sirius’ bullying him for years. 

I was wondering for the longest time why some Snape fans were so salty over the idea of James changing. So the fuck what if he did change? Why is the very idea of James changing a bad thing? Why is it so hurtful? My response to James’ changing was “meh cool.” Like I’m not jumping up and down in joy over it, but I don’t find the idea of James changing personally offensive. 

But now I get why even the POSSIBILITY of James having changed is personally offensive for people. When we hear the statement James changed, it’s hardly ever on an original post. It’s nearly always some Snape anti James stan coming onto a post (that is appropriately tagged) talking about Snape’s PTSD and they come onto that post and say “but James changed.” As in yeah but whatever about the emotional pain Snape had to suffer from years later, yeah but whatever about his triggers because James changed.

“James changed” has become a symbol for dismissing Snape’s PTSD.

I now understand why people take “James changed” so personally, as if someone went up to them and slapped them across the face. 

Anyway the history of orphanages in the UK and Ireland is a history of violence and in the 1920s, Tom would have been sent to a workhouse by about age 8 had he not been adopted (often this meant sold- sometimes over seas)

I think it’s really important when reading HP to remember that JKR is worse than just a terf. She erased a number of horrific, traumatic experiences (experiences that effected the ‘women’* and children she’s apparently so keen to protect) with how she wrote Voldemort’s childhood. In the 20s, orphanages still didn’t hold the babies, they were underfed and when they cried to much they were often quieted with Godfrey’s Treacle or similar products which essentially amounted to a sweet syrup mixed with opium. Many babies died and their bodies were often improperly disposed of.

At the time Orphanages would have been primarily religious institutions. Those that weren’t were for profit. State run orphanages did not exist. Some of these institutions literally stole babies from unwed/abandoned mothers like Merope. Some would even enslave the mothers in laundries. There are many horror stories of mothers begging for their children back even after their children had been homed, again often for a fee, because they were never notified about their children being placed with families. Children were beaten, dressed differently so they stood out, improperly schooled, shamed for the fact that their mothers failed them.

If JKR had written it according to actual history, it’s likely Merope would not have needed to die for her to be deemed unfit and Tom to have been taken. The reality is so much more horrifying than the happy orphanage in the books. And JKR still hasn’t looked into the actual history. She’s only visited modern orphanages and even that was enough to learn her this massive mistake.

These realities being as they are, it is hard to read HBP without feeling that Dumbledore is lying about Tom’s past, rearranging the facts to demonize him. The flashbacks even show Dumbledore antagonizing him like he’s a criminal for having maladaptive coping mechanisms from a traumatic childhood where he was even more different (autistic coded lbr) than the other kids and couldn’t manage to fit in within the orphanage let alone outside of it. And we see in that scene, Tom going from open and excited to closed off and recessed. He goes from thinking ‘this man is like me’ to thinking ‘this man is like them’. There is no way to ignore how Dumbledore immediately became part of the problem instead of offering a helping hand when it was needed most.

In conclusion, Dumbledore is an ass, Voldemort’s story is that of how trauma can ruin revolutionary thought, and JKR apologizing to the orphans/throwing money at them can’t make up for this massive mistake.

Historical fiction has a duty and a responsibility to accurately depict the horrors of the past. Please read Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell to see how this ought to be done in a low fantasy setting.

i personally need 'em to team up real bad