One Day, Ill Be Grown

Can we unnormalize how america does public restrooms?

They are perverts and need to mind their business

An amazing apology from the archives

“When we were introduced, I held in one hand a gin and tonic and in the other several salted almonds, which, when I realized our handshake was imminent, I tossed into my mouth carelessly, to free the obligatory hand; my behavior inmediately after that may have seemed strange: a silent nod, averted rolling eyes, a broken greeting. I was choking on the almonds. It was nothing personal”

the thing is that childhood doesn't just end when you turn 18 or when you turn 21. it's going to end dozens of times over. your childhood pet will die. actors you loved in movies you watched as a kid will die. your grandparents will die, and then your parents will die. it's going to end dozens and dozens of times and all you can do is let it. all you can do is stand in the middle of the grocery store and stare at freezers full of microwave pizza because you've suddenly been seized by the memory of what it felt like to have a pizza party on the last day of school before summer break. which is another ending in and of itself

Dudes shouldn't have to prove themselves by having spartan greyscale homes with dollar store rubber shower curtains and a mattress on the floor. Do you know what life is like with linen

✨️A conversation i just heard✨️

My friend: YOU STEPPED ON SNAILS AND LAUGHED

Her brother: I DIDNT STEP ON THEM

Mf: YES YOU DID!!

Hb: I DIDNT CRUSH THEM!!! .... THE SUN DID!!

i am NOT gaslighting you. i am lying to you. gaslighting implies a level of effort that i am simply not putting in. deceiving you does not require much

I hope things won't always be like this.

Beer and milk are two of the earliest agricultural products so statistically at least one person in the ancient world must have tried a White Gilgamesh