Tumblr Tuesday: Nineteen Years Of Neil

✨️A conversation i just heard✨️

My friend: YOU STEPPED ON SNAILS AND LAUGHED

Her brother: I DIDNT STEP ON THEM

Mf: YES YOU DID!!

Hb: I DIDNT CRUSH THEM!!! .... THE SUN DID!!

The difference is this mysterious "anxious attachment style" thought process generally (from what ive seen idk im not an expert) only applies to like 2 important people

"Do you still like me?" "Are you mad at me?" "Did i do something wrong?" Disorder is unfortunately indiscriminately targeting everyone around me, myself and complete strangers included.

There is no escaping the "Do you still like me?" "Are you mad at me?" "Did i do something wrong?" Disorder

cursed with "do you still like me?" "are you mad at me?" "did i do something wrong?" disorder

I come back to tumblr for 4 seconds and 4chan is dead? What happened!?

The last time i was here, it was stabby ceasar day (last year, not this year), and my entire feed was just "L Caesar got stabbed"

I love you tumblr dont ever change

I am human

I am human

I am human

I am not a monster

Im just a human

Im not a monster

Im just human

Im just a person

And i make mistakes

And that's okay

I deman you to do it ?

Just yelling into the void.

Today's world is so weird. I've been thinking about masc names for myself since 2018, and ive been trying to change myself and be comfortable with myself and my identity since then, but now i only have more questions than answers. Do i want to be trans because of how i fear being treated by men? Do i want to be trans so that i wont have to worry about having the weakness of being a woman? Would it be wrong to want to be trans for those reasons? Or am i trans because i hate myself? Am i trans because i despise every feminine thing about my body, and just wish i could be a man? Am i trans because i think being male would be easier? Is it wrong? I want so badly to have broad shoulders, short spikey hair, mayble some stubble, a decent jawline, a male chest, and muscle dense arms, but is it just gender envy? Is that just a phase? Is that what being trans is? I feel wrong being labeled as female, i feel wrong being labeled as male, i feel wrong being labeled as nonbinary and not being labeled at all. My entire being feels wrong and unsafe, targeted, and usable. Is my want to be male, to be trans, to view myself as strong in a physical sense, is it all just my way of coping? And if so, is that truly me wanting to be trans, or does that make me wanting to be trans a trauma response from all the masculine abuse and feminine neglect? Im so unsure. Im so confused. I dunno whats right or what's wrong, or even what's causing what.

Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.

Trigger warning

And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves

They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user

Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center

DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)

Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren

Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time

Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability

Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability

Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability

Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)

Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)

ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)

Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling

ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.

Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc

minecraft movie notes

everyone cheered when they said lines from the trailer (flint and steel, the nether, chicken jockey, etc)

there was a technoblade reference of a pig wearing a crown

there was a LOT of romantic tension between jason momoa and jack black. no really. like there will be fics. and i will be reading them.

jack black sung a couple songs. they were decent

a plan involved jason momoa and jack black wearing mushroom hats and playing trumpet in front of a group of evokers to distract them.

endermen don't just attack you, they make you hallucinate the people you love saying they hate you. and then they attack you

jason momoa sacrificed himself but came back at the end to save someone (classic)

there was a weird america's got talent reference ? nether's got talent ? and it was the backstory for the main villain ?? (they played pigstep)

"first we mine, then we craft. now let's minecraft!" was actually a line. they said that out loud.

a piglin named chungus said he was gonna unalive the main characters.

jennifer coolidge did date a villager it was like 3 total scenes and largely ignored

in the post credits scene the end the villager spoke in perfect british english and it was revealed jennifer coolidge could speak villager then they got married

i think seeing it in theaters is the best thing you can do because the audience was hilarious i have so many videos of everyone applauding and laughing and commenting on stuff. anyways i know technically it sucks but whatever i had a good time

I want crows, but like, not ones that will steal your food. Or maybe they could steal your food, but you out out a bird feeder or a lile of gems for them to take from so they dont take your food. Or maybe you make a decoy farm just for them. I want little crows that scream at you at random intervals and bring you things if you're nice to them. Like allays but sassy.

minecraft needs more birds. there are like two birds in the whole of minecraft and i find that unacceptable. where are the fucking ducks