12/8/19

anyone please ask your crush out like this

Friendly reminder how to actually use band aids on fingertips because we see people doing it wrong all the time.

Hi. Please fucking block me if you honestly think you have some type of authority to tell a grown woman that she cannot date a man 13 yrs older than her and passing off your lies about how he "groomed" her with your bullshit theories. Momo was 21 when they first met. He never met Momo before that. And even if he did he would NEVER "groom" someone considering all he's done to help female idols in the industry. Most of his friends are female idols and actresses who are older than him. He's lost two close friends last year because of the same shit y'all doing to him on this website. Go fuck yourselves you fake hypocritical ageist ass fake feminist. PERIOD. If Momo is happy,then let her be happy.

Scary Movies

Things had been quiet in the Deetz house.  

With the Maitlands and Deetzes off doing their own thing, it left Beetlejuice and Lydia plenty of time to goof off together without fear of anyone barging in and interrupting.  Beetlejuice had never been one for quiet, easily a ghost fueled by creating mischief and terror, but with Lydia, it never seemed quite so taxing.   He actually found it…nice.  On rare occasions.

When she invited him to her room for a movie, he couldn’t help but expect a little more out of the invitation.  “Spending time together” easily ended in hot and heavy make-out sessions between the two and he could only assume that this time would end up no differently.  Which was why it was a surprise when he found out that watching a movie was exactly what she wanted to do.   As Halloween quickly approached, Lydia had gone on a binge of watching all the old Halloween movie favorites and was begrudgingly dragging the poor poltergeist along for the ride.  

Tonight’s feature was about a group of witches hungry for little children and youth and while the premise sounded promising, he quickly discovered this movie was not the one he had expected from the description.  The witches were idiots.  Even he knew that wasn’t the right way to do it. 

As the movie droned on, his attention began to waver.

Lydia had curled up next to him, arms folded in her lap, her eyes focused on the screen ahead.  Every now and then a chuckle would erupt from her body, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she did exactly as she said she would.  Watch the movie.  Well, he could change that.  He slid his arm around her waist, nothing.  Using his other arm, he wrapped it around her front to pull her closer to him, nothing.  A grin slid across his face, placing a couple of quick kisses along her cheek, nothing.

Beetlejuice frowned, groaning loudly as he threw his head back in defeat.  “Come on, babes, this ain’t even scary.  Turn it off and I’ll give ya a real fright.”

Lydia continued to stare at the screen, her eyes never wavering for even a moment.  “You’re not even paying attention.  It’s not supposed to be scary.”

His face contorted.  Not supposed to be scary?  “Then what’s the point?”

“The point is I want to watch it, Beej.”  Her voice was quiet but harsh as he continued to distract her, her eyebrows furrowing as if to get onto him without even batting an eye.

Beetlejuice was quiet for a few minutes, desperately trying to watch the dumb movie despite the fact that he still hadn’t extracted his arms from around her body.  She didn’t seem to mind.  Or at least, she hadn’t removed them herself.  The realization caused his smile to quickly return.  “Come on, babes…”  His voice lowered, low growls rolling from this throat as he placed a soft kiss on the side of her cheek.  “Surely, there’s something more fun we can do.  I know I can think of a couple things…”  He chuckled darkly, pressing one more kiss on the cheek of the unshakable girl that sat beside him.  

Finally, some eye contact.  Lydia’s dark eyes shifted towards him and his grin widened.  She pursed her lips for a moment, humming audibly before finally responding to him.  “Not now.”  The small girl reached up with a coy smile, patting his cheek a couple of times.  As she ran a soft hand along his stubble, it made him positively giddy to finally have some sort of reaction other than the cold shoulder he had received since they started the movie.  “I really wanna watch this and then we’ll find something fun to do.  Promise.”  Placing a quick kiss to his jaw, Lydia’s attention quickly shifted back to the movie.  His face fell, obviously agitated by the answer he received.  It had seemed hopeful for at least a minute there.

“But-”  Before he was even able to retort, she leaned against his shoulder, resting her head into the crook of his neck.  The warmth from her body slowly filling him as he loosened his grip around her waist.  In an instant, he felt his body relax.  He had spent the afterlife that he could consciously remember in complete overdrive.  Days going by in a flash, centuries over in the blink of an eye.  Meeting Lydia had changed all that.  She gave him something to hold on to.  Something that forced him into slow motion and actually appreciate the time he was able to spend with her.  It was a strange feeling.  One that he didn’t seem to mind the longer he spent with her.

It seemed even those feelings weren’t able to actually keep him under control.  Touching her had become a drug, the warmth, and life that flowed from her body only made him want to explore even further.  Over their time together, he had been pretty good at coaxing her into all sorts of problematic positions, but it was easy to see her mind was made up.

He huffed in defeat, focusing instead on the fact that she had snuggled even further against him.  The warmth that flowed from her body only drawing him in further as he held her, easily lulling him into a more comfortable position.  While he obviously hadn’t cared about the movie before, he had lost all interest in it by this point.  His eyes trailed her body as she focused ahead, a small smile pulling at the edge of his mouth.

Over time, he grew comfortable in this position until her breathing slowed and a quiet snore could be heard coming from the girl in his arms.  How the hell had he gotten so lucky with her?  He had done more than enough to be damned for eternity, but here he was, head over heels with a teenage human girl.

Sighing softly, he pressed his cheek against her head, smiling at the closeness the movie had offered which he guessed was okay if he wasn’t going to get what he truly wanted.  And in time, he felt himself easily losing consciousness.  While ghosts didn’t need to sleep, being this close to her made him feel at peace and from time to time, he felt himself being drawn deeper under its spell. 

Luck had never been on his side, but it seemed with Lydia, that was all changing.

art from my friend, Anxious Elphie <3

Can read on AO3 here!

neil gaiman is an anti-anti

For those of you wondering if this is a joke: it is not

Now THAT’S an April Fool’s prank! 😜

Beetlejuice: you make daddy so angry

Adam:

me too sonic

Beetlejuice icons

Alex Brightman as Beetlejuice icons.

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