Smash, Next Question

my heart pulses for you, you’re my blood flow. my veins claw at your glance, they wait for your command, waiting for the feeling of soft lips and your finger tips against my bare skin.

are we gonna kiss covered in blood? are we gonna kiss with mouthfuls of blood? will u drink my blood?

Words bring thoughts that seem to connect, lack of security means second guessing thoughts. Why are these words shared, is it possible that thoughts are facts?

Uncertainly, being in a state of being uncertain.

Uncertain, not able to be relied on; not know or definite.

They feed on pain, but don’t exist most times.

I know you won’t understand this, and that is the point.

Work-drunk

You and me? 💕

I don't exist outside of interactions with Him - He is my brain and my world. My heart and my pain. My life and my death. My ghzal diali.

It is absurd, unreasonable and dangerous, but it is true.

I‘d do anything for You. But You don't need to ask, I will mould myself to fit into Your deepest desires on my own accord.

I want my reckless, immediate and dangerous declarations to tear through Your god-like defences.

I want to see You misscalculate me and break that controlled facade. See the surprise in Your words, and most importantly witness Your dangerous mouth swear for me.

I know I did that to You.

I will show You submission like you have never before sir. I will show you obsession like you have never seen my sir. I will surprise you like you've never been surprised my ghzal diali.

I just want to hear you swear again, please please please please please.

I am hamak for you.

- i

I feel like I’m not here. Although im strangely serene.

People talk to me and Im so calm and patient and conversational, like my usual mask has been boosted and it does not require the same effort it always does.

I’m floating. I don’t know what is going on around me.

I can’t centre my brain to understand emails. But I am serene.

Imagine they saw the pain inside me and asked me about it. What would I say? That’s why I can’t allow any pain to be seen.

I think that’s is why my brain has put me in this serene state.

But I am in pain. Like many books say, there is an empty whole in my chest.

I don’t think anything I write in this state of mind will be good, but i simply wish to express myself.

I always hoped that what I believed was true, but seeing it happen is mind bending. Mind boggling. Mind destructing. Mind resetting. Mind nucking. Mind fucking. Mind everything.

My reality has genuinely shattered.

Till Death Do Us Part ⚰️