My Fiancé And I Are Both Woefully Behind On Slang, But We Made Up Our Own Term For Gorilla Grip, I Guess.

Kinkt̶o̶b̶e̶ruary Day 18: Aphrodisiac

Apprenticeship (Shigaraki x Reader)

Word Count: 6.2k

Collaboration With: @snuggsthebunn​ who owns my heart and drew the money shot 

Warnings: Aphrodisiacs, Violence, A pinch of angst, Praise kink, This is truly the softest thing you’ll ever get out of me 

Keep reading

Can you do a Smut Karl fic with female reader as Ethan Focused on the part that Karl proposes to Ethan an alliance but with the reader accepting it?

I really like your writing and I think you would do it really well ^^

Oh god, oh jeez, first ask for exclusively NSFW--

2 things: one, there's going to be a little bit of buildup before the "good bits", because I wound up writing a whole-ass fic, and two I have never written a whole-ass fic like this before. Let me know if you like it, I would be more than happy to re-do with bullets if you prefer!

TW: NSFW (Meaning 18+), female reader, Reader is Sassy, rewriting the Heisenberg confrontation, and Heisenberg is a little smitten already, also crazy long post. As In 3259 words total.

Let me know If I miss anything, so I can add it to the list above. NSFW newbie (read: I've got no idea what I'm doing), so I don't know what/how to tag. Enjoy!

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Truth Hurts, don't it?"

You spin around, coming face to face with the man who's been harassing you for the past few hours.

You kiss your teeth and say nothing.

Karl Heisenberg, the last Lord in your way, doesn't seem to mind your lack of response. Instead, he grins, like your reaction pleases him.

He takes a drag of his cigar. "You think that you can just take me out like the others and then you get to go and save Rose, right?"

It's like he's implying that you can't, and after the day you've had it lights a fire in your stomach.

"She's just a baby," Your voice shakes with barely suppressed rage. "She doesn't deserve any of this. I won't let it happen."

"Easy there, Buttercup," Heisenberg takes a couple steps closer to you, exhaling a cloud of cigar smoke that drifts out from underneath his hat. He smiles like he's about to sell you something, and it puts you on edge. "You've got this all wrong. I--"

There's the sound of a revving engine and your anger fades as you ready yourself for a confrontation, unholstering your gun and looking for the source of the noise. Heisenberg swears, glancing between you and a grate on the floor, before stalking over to it and wrenching it open.

"Shut your fucking hole!" he yells, and the engine makes a stalling sound before cutting out completely. He slams the grate shut, and you take advantage of his distraction to reload your magnum. You don't want to run out of bullets if this encounter goes...south.

There's an awkward pause in the new silence before Heisenberg speaks up again.

"Sorry about that," he mutters. The apology comes off as weirdly genuine.

Before you can stop yourself, a laugh bubbles out of your throat, "Oh, just for that?"

For a split second, you think you've made a massive misstep, because Heisenberg takes a few quick steps in your direction, pointing a hand at you like he's going to get in your face--

Then he stops short, so close that his face is less than a foot away from yours. He lowers his hand, takes a deep breath, and works his jaw for a couple seconds like he's getting his thoughts together. His expression--weirdly enough--settles into a smile.

"I'm a little out of practice for apologies, Buttercup. But you're alive right now because you proved yourself. Which means, you're an asset. I'd take the win if I were you."

You might have been intimidated if that didn't just push every annoyance button in your soul. The anger that you just managed to suppress simmers a little higher as you search his face, hoping to get a read on what the hell this asshole might have been thinking. Unfortunately, the dark glasses obscuring his eyes do too good of a job at hiding any emotions other than what's painted on his lips. He's a good looking man, with an excellent poker face. All you can register is his amusement.

Frustrated, you can't resist rolling your eyes. "Oh, so I'm supposed to be grateful that you had me chased by lycans and forced through a meat grinder?"

His smile widens at the words 'meat grinder'. "It stopped before it killed you, didn't it?"

"Spare me. Like you had anything to do with that."

Heisenberg's smile drops.

Shrapnel and spare metal suddenly whirls off the floor in a tornado of blades, the grates on the floor rattle and the furniture around you twists through the air. One of the sharper pieces of metal whips through the air and presses a dull edge to your throat. Pipes start to creak, door frames warp in place and through all the chaos Heisenberg glowers down at you.

"You have no idea what I can do," he snarls.

Apparently your sense of self-preservation has been irreparably damaged after your experience today, because you ignore the shrapnel at your neck and laugh again, inching your head close enough that your nose nearly brushes against his. "Now, now, handsome," you coo, sweet and teasing and low, "you're supposed buy me dinner first!"

You only say it to throw him off his game, to be condescending and rude and to show you're not afraid of him...But. But. But.

Heisenberg wets his lower lip with a quick swipe of his tongue.

A noise too soft to be a growl rumbles through the air, and the sound is so deep you can feel it in your bones despite the distance between you. He tilts his head ever so slightly--causing the tip of his nose to brush against yours so quickly you think you've imagined it--and exhales a long hot breath in you face, just over your mouth.

Then with a loud clatter, the metal in the room drops back to the floor.

Heisenberg takes a step back.

Your brain short circuits. What the hell.

Heisenberg chuckles thinly, filling the silence between you both, then takes another drag from his cigar. "Fair enough, Buttercup. But, uh, let's save dinner till after we talk business."

With a flick of his wrist, a metal chair skids across the room to screech to a stop right next to you.

"Have a seat," He gestures theatrically to the chair, and you slip past him, making a point to drag your gaze ever so slowly from his feet, up his legs, lingering on his muscular chest before resting on his face.

It's meant to be an 'I'm watching you' gesture--and a callback to your attempt at an insulting flirtation--which is why you're surprised when he averts his gaze and clears his throat.

Heisenberg stalks over to the cork-board.

You oblige your "host" and sit, but decide to keep your gun out. When he turns to face you again, you flick the safety off the magnum and prop it on your knee, the barrel pointed directly at him.

You see him raise an eyebrow over his glasses. "Is that really necessary?"

You smile pleasantly at him and bat your eyelashes. "Oh I couldn't possibly say. Why don't you tell me?"

"Cute," Heisenberg lifts a finger, and the safety clicks back on. You scowl. "But I am trying to build a little trust here, Buttercup. A good partnership takes trust from both sides."

You blink, stunned. "Partners."

So he was trying to sell you something.

"Partners," he repeats back with a sharp grin. His smile is dangerous, but the adrenaline that's been powering your every action since you got to this little slice of Hell makes you focus on the curve of his lip and the sharpness of his canines.

You shift in your seat and take a long, slow breath. There's a heat curling in your abdomen that makes you cross your legs and force yourself to refocus. You really shouldn't have flirted with him-- it's clearly made your brain misfire in all the worst ways. Now was really not the time.

Thankfully the man across from you interprets your silence as permission to continue.

"Listen, Buttercup, you're being played," Heisenberg drops his cigar to the floor and stamps it out. "Miranda's got you so focused on Rose you're missing the bigger picture here."

Your eyes narrow, then dart over to the gilded photograph of the strange hell angel who had sentenced you to death when you first arrived. There's red string branching out from the photo like legs on a spider, and it loops around pins across the cork board to make an unsettling web. There's a lot of thought put into it's assembly.

Getting you here, setting up this whole scenario, with props and photos and pages of research, would be the world's most pointless, complicated double cross. Heisenberg clearly believes what he's telling you is the truth.

So.

"Tell me what I'm missing, then."

Lord Heisenberg's smile gets this manic tilt to it. "You're being tested. It's something Miranda likes to do, you see. Experiment," he spits out the word with earned resentment. "She wants to see if you're strong enough to be a part of her little family."

The words "Oh Hell No" come out of your mouth before you even process them.

Heisenberg laughs, long and loud. "I knew I would like you! Y'see, I'm of the same opinion," He makes his way over to you with slow, measured steps. "She's been using you as her glorified cleanup crew, starting from the bottom and making you move right up the chain! So I figure, why not give the lady a choice?"

There's a little thrill that jumps through you the closer he gets, and you need to shut that down fast. And babies have a remarkable way of killing the mood. "How does Rose come in?"

Heisenberg snorts, "Do you have any idea how powerful that kid is? Even Miranda is scared of her."

He then takes off his glasses, allowing you to finally get a good look at his eyes. Steel Blue--and they're unwarveringly, unflinchingly focused on you.

"You and me? We go save Rose, and then we can use her, to grind Miranda into paste," his hisses with relish.

Your eyes once again dart between the conspiracy theory board and the man who put it together. There's this edge to him that's almost... desperate. Hungry.

Finally, you gather your thoughts enough to speak. "If we're going to be partners, we can't use Rose like that."

Heisenberg's eyes flicker, and he straightens up slightly. "Now what's that supposed to mean?"

You stand up and put your free hand on your hip. "It means Rose is a goddamn baby, not a weapon. Considering the fact that I already took out the rest of your family without her, I'd say you and I have a pretty good shot at this, without stooping to Miranda's level."

"Not that I don't appreciate a gun and a can-do attitude, but Miranda's more powerful than you think--"

"Heisenberg," you taste the name on your tongue slowly, and stop kidding yourself--you're hit with a punch of lust when his pupils visibly dilate at your call. "I have the number of a strike team that was specifically created to eliminate and contain biohazards. We could probably just nuke her, if you want to play it that way."

The Last Lord looks at you like you've gifted him the greatest possible visual he could have ever conceived. "I do believe that would solve the problem," he beams so bright you could swear his eyes start to glitter under the brim of his hat.

"Then do I have your word that we leave Rose out of it?"

Heisenberg steps into your personal space yet again, but this time you feel the hairs on your arms stand on end. It's like his excitement has charged the air around you with static. You immediately refocus when he holds out a hand for you to shake.

"It's a done deal, Buttercup."

Sliding your gun back into it's holster, you extend your hand to grasp his.

In a moment like this, after sealing a deal, you would expect a quick shake before getting down to more official business. Instead, the both of you are caught in the moment--relief and anticipation and a twist in your belly that's making your blood run hot. Heisenberg doesn't seem to be too eager to break the silence either, and though you pick up satisfaction in his expression, the hungry glint in his gaze that you noticed earlier is still there...

...And he's not letting go of your hand.

In fact, his grip tightens on your fingers as he leans forward, pulled towards you like you've become a gravitational force. His eyes are half lidded as he looks down at you, greedily taking in everything that he sees.

"To killing Mother Miranda," He murmurs, his face close enough that you could count his eyelashes, "before she destroys any more fucking lives," he growls.

"God, she's such a bitch," you breathe.

Heisenberg lunges forward to kiss you so hard you feel his teeth collide with yours.

Your self control snaps and you pull him even closer. Your hands scramble up his back, under his jacket, digging into his shirt hard enough to tear the flimsy fabric. Tilting your head, you part your lips and allow him access, and he immediately takes it as an invitation to run his tongue against yours, groaning so deeply you feel the sound in your own lungs. It's like you're trying to devour each other. Somehow you stumble backwards, pulling Heisenberg with you until he's the one actively pressing you into the wall. His thigh slips between your legs, and the friction is enough to make you moan. He finally breaks the kiss and rests his forehead against yours.

His eyes are glued to yours, and his breath is hot and fast in the space between you. "If you want to stop, it's got to be now," he warns. "I'm not the kind of man who can easily stop once I get what I want--"

Impatiently, you cut him off by grinding down on his thigh, "If you don't hurry up I'm doing this myself."

He chokes on an inhale at the sight before him before finally finding his voice, "You're something else, you know that?"

"We're Partners now," your voice wavers when you hit just the right spot, eyelids fluttering from the sensation. "I-I'm sure you'll get used to it."

"Fuck's sake," is all he says, forcing his mouth back over yours.

You dip your hands to your waist and pull your pants down over your hips while Heisenberg does the same, neither of you breaking the kiss. You only part briefly to shake them off your legs. Heisenberg doesn't bother with his, instead occupying himself with leveraging you against the wall and hooking your knees up and over his hips.

"Shirt off," he growls. You hastily comply, and your new partner wastes no time dipping his head to your collar bone to press his lips to your pulse point. Your heartbeat jumps and Heisenberg smiles into your skin.

His kisses turn into little love bites along your collarbone and dipping down between your breasts, occasionally sucking a hickey into spots that make you hold back little whines and gasps.

It's too much. It's not enough. Your hips cant forwards against his hard on, making him gasp instead, and he pulls back enough that you finally see what you're working with. His cock is thick and long, and he's apparently worked up enough that the tip is already dripping.

You reach up to tug the hair at the back of his head, forcing him to make eye contact with you again as you use your other hand to gently work yourself onto his dick. He's big enough that there's a stretch despite how wet you are, and you bite your lips to hold back a whine, but it's entirely worth it. The face he makes is perfection--a furrowed brow with pupils blown wide and swollen lips parted. It's an extremely satisfying expression to see on the Lord of the Factory.

You both pause, just taking in the new feeling, but eventually the sensation starts to get to you. You clench your walls down around him and he hisses, glaring at you halfheartedly. "Come on now."

You snicker. "I'm trying to."

Karl snorts. Then he snaps his hips into yours and it cuts through your laughter.

"Fuck," you gasp in surprise.

"I'm trying to," he mocks back.

It's annoying as hell, but you can't be mad when he starts to fuck you in earnest, his cock sliding into you deep and hard.

Time feels like it's running in slow motion, and you try to match his thrusts, swiveling your hips to drag out the sensation. Eventually the two of you hit a rhythm that has you both sighing in pleasure--Long steady strokes that make your thighs clamp down on his hips.

It's still not enough. You're starting to get desperate. You move your free hand down to where your bodies connect, your finger slipping past your lips and just far enough inside that you can feel yourself take every stroke. It's full and tight and good enough that your brain is going numb.

Heisenberg is equally appreciative, groaning while biting down so hard on your shoulder that you know it's going to bruise black.

You moan in response, moving your attention to your clit and trying to chase the feeling higher. You just manage to catch the right rhythm when Karl lets go of one of your legs to force your hand away.

Just as you're about to let out a noise of protest he cuts you off with a swift kiss. When he pulls away, his smile is dark enough to send a shiver down your spine.

"None of that now, Buttercup. Either you let me do it, or it's not happening at all," he says.

You curse but wrap your arms around his neck, wordlessly letting him do what he wants. You're rewarded when a calloused thumb starts to rub circles into your already sensitive clit, and the rough texture paired with the steady tempo makes your toes curl and your eyes roll back in your head.

"Fuck, fuck, just look at you," Heisenberg sounds almost drunk as he gasps out the words, hiking your legs even higher on his hips. The shift in angle makes you let out a soft whine, and your head thumps back into the wall. "How am I supposed to take my eyes off you, huh? Making a face like that."

Your mouth falls open, but words don't come.

Heisenberg snarls, pressing you even harder against the wall. With every thrust you're pounded back hard enough that the cement starts to scratch you up through your shirt. His head drops to your neck, and you can feel his lips shift against your skin before your ears actually pick up what he's saying.

"--You an' me, Buttercup, just you an' me, and we're gonna get our fuckin' dues--"

He's babbling, practically feral as he ruts into you, and you can barely hold it together. Your walls start to flutter and you know what's coming, but just as you think to warn him, he pulls out of you almost completely, and then slams back in.

You see stars.

It only takes a few more thrusts before your pleasure peaks like a flash of electricity, and you cum with a cry. Karl follows you seconds after, groaning into your neck and continuing to grind into you, working through the aftershocks.

It takes a while for your your thoughts to get coherent again, but there's no rush. Heisenberg keeps you pressed into the wall, leaning his forehead against yours and using his free hand to rub circles into your hip bone. The quiet is soothing, and it's the safest you've felt all day.

As you both take in the afterglow, there's another rumble of an engine from the grate in the floor.

Heisenberg sighs, and lifts his hand. The grate lifts, and with a twist of his wrist a hammer from the worktable flies down the shaft. There's a loud clang, and then the saddest little whirring noise you've ever heard.

Catching your breath, you meet his gaze, "That happen often?"

He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. "Don't you worry now, Partner. You'll get used to it."

Long black hair ? Anime men ? Kinda cold or crazy ? Boom I simp.

the older woman im dating takes me to the park and lets me run around for my daily enrichment

'my love' 'my darling''sweetheart' 'baby' oh god

God I'm a sucker for characters who are so utterly loyal to someone that they're completely unhinged. Characters who have no moral compass except their overwhelming devotion to whoever they've chosen to listen to. That's the good shit

Dabi and Tomura (poly or separately) are all about that forced intimacy, and will get it from their Darling no matter what. You're not sleeping in the bed if you're gonna flinch and shrink away when he moves to get close to you. You don't want to shower with him? Oh, guess you aren't showering at all until you stop being stubborn. Turning your head when he goes to move/lick a bit of stray food off of your lips? No meals for the next day, and the day after THAT you're getting tied up so you have to let him give you food. Tomura and Dabi both think of themselves as monsters, and if they have to let that side of them show a bit more to force their darling into being affectionate or to just stop fighting them, they will. They're more stubborn than you, they're stronger than you, and they're more terrifying than you can ever hope to be. Now stop fucking squirming and hug me back like you mean it, goddammit.

Did you cum so hard because of me, sweetheart? Oh my, I’m so flattered, can you do it again?

Flawless

Request: Oh my goodness requests are open im so excited 🥰🥰 may i request a yandere eraserhead with a villan darling who he's locked up to "save" make it NSFW if possible but you're writing is phenomenal so I know it'll be great no matter what :)

(A/N) I actually loosey based this off of an ask I got a while ago about Aizawa falling for a villain darling

Summary: Aizawa finds out that the cute waitress at the cat cafe he visits is a villain in disguise. Rather than throwing her in jail, he decides to play hero and save her himself.

Warnings: Noncon, kidnapping, cock warming, Somnophilia, choking, scent kink, slight daddy kink, yandere themes, Aizawa is a huge creep in this

Aizawa met you at the cat café you worked at first, instantly forming a soft spot for you from your shy and sweet demeanor, falling even harder when he finds out you often pay for vet bills and treats for the cats out of pocket. You seemed perfect, a walking angel that rotted his brain with ideas of what you two could be.

It was about an month of regular visits by him and nice conversations before he had faced you in a fight, quickly recognizing the person charging at him with a knife is the same one who earlier gave him a free coffee because he looked stressed that day.

He could have easily captured you, in fact he pinned you down a few times and roughed you up a bit (your ass grinding against his crotch as he held you in a arm lock was fuel for him later on that night). But it stopped there, he slipped up and you got away, the rookie mistake made from him being too distracted by you accidentally brushing your hand along his inner thigh.

He of course made sure to trail after you, he couldn't let you get away completely, now his actions are justified in learning where you live.

Weeks go by of him observing you much more closely, now going from visiting you everyday to trailing you where ever you go. Not only making sure you don’t get into anymore trouble, but to also see how someone who once almost cried because a customer yelled at them could ever be a villain.

Yet as he kept a watch on your tracks, filled a notebook with pictures of you, and had his mind muddled from thoughts of your body, he still couldn’t understand why. He only understood that there is something inside you that is pure and sweet.

So he took matters into his own hands, clearly you have potential to change and to be a good person, you just need to be lead in the right direction. You’ll hate it at first, but a feral kitten will always claw and bite the first few months you have them in your home, he will just have to be patient and teach you to be better which he can be very good at.

He will admit, capturing you was rough and rather than injecting your sleeping body with something to make sure you don’t wake for a while, his hands were forced to be wrapped around your neck first. You tried to scream, your eyes bugged out in fear as your legs thrashed under him and your hands lurched out to claw at his arms. with your body going limp, he was able to get the drug in your system in the end, but now he had to deal with your fragile neck bruised and his cock painfully hard. But he couldn’t worry about that as much as he wanted to relieve himself, he instead had to focus on transporting you to your new home. 

You lay limp in his arms as he carries you like you’re the princess he saved, making his way up the stairs and to your new lavish room. Putting you down on the bed, he finds himself sitting down on the edge of it to watch you for a few moments rather than leaving, feeling you tug at his heart strings. Your lips are in a light pout as your chest softly rises up and down, you look so cute sprawled out on the silky bedsheets with fluffy pink pillows and childish stuffed animals surrounding you. 

A kiss wouldn't hurt, just one on your cheek as a present to himself for his hardwork. Scooching in closer, his body leans over, but jolts to a stop when your sweet scent hits his nose. His tongue darts out from between his lips, sweat now forming on his forehead as he battles with himself.

Swallowing hard, he goes in closer and now his lips are brushing against your neck, his hands clenching the sheets as a attempt to ground himself. Taking in a deep whiff, lighting shoots up his spine and goosebumps prickle his skin.

"Fuck," He pants out, his voice shaky and hoarse. While he has gotten small doses when you would lean over to pour his drink (which also gave him a good look down your shirt), he never really got to drown himself in it. Now he's practically suffocating himself, taking deep inhale after another.

Jerking away, he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand to get rid of the small amount of drool dribbling down his chin. He stands with the intentions of leaving, yet he stays still. He should leave, distract himself from what he could do to you now that you’re weak and exposed, he did promise himself that he wouldn’t do anything to you on the first night.

But as you lay there basking in your innocence, he seems to have a harder time coming up with a reason on why he should hold back. While he shouldn’t indulge in his dirty thoughts, to be such a creep to you when you’re asleep no less, he's sitting back down with his hand reaching out and slipping under your shirt before he can stop himself. 

He sharply inhales the moment his calloused hands touch your soft flesh, it’s like you’re a piece of heaven just for him, it makes him feel even filthier about touching you. His body ignites into flames as his hand creeps up higher, he gropes whatever he can, simply wanting to keep feeling your heat against his skin. 

He brings his hand back down, but doesn’t pull it from your body, instead he slips it into your panties. He softly moans at the slick he feels soaking your pussy, his middle finger rubbing your clit before dipping into your entrance that clenches around him, practically sucking him in. He can feel how badly your body wants him, how it begs to be stuffed with his cock. 

He pulls his hand from your panties, quickly shoving the finger into his mouth and groaning as your sweet taste melt on his tongue. God, he's imagined this for so long, but he never thought you would taste this mouthwatering.

He has to have you, more of you. Shaky hands pull down your bottoms along with your cute panties, quickly discarding one and stuffing the other in his back pocket.

"You're so cute, kitten." He murmurs aloud, shifting himself on his stomach and swinging your legs over his shoulders. He quickly dives in, choking on a moan as everything becomes overwhelming. He can't even count how many times he's fucked his hand or fleshlight while imagining that it's you and now he's eating you out like a man starved.

"Kitten." He groans against your pussy, slurping up your delicious nectar while grinding his hips against the soft mattress to ease his aching cock. He relishes in the soft gasps that escape from you, your eyelids fluttering yet never opening due to the heavy drug still in your system.

As much as he wants to eat you out until you wake, he's not sure he can wait any longer, he needs to be inside you. With one last harsh suck on your clit, he pulls away completely to climb off the bed and discard his clothing.

He knows you won't be awake any time soon yet he finds himself frantically trying to get back in bed with you.

Climbing back on, he begins to stroke his cock, the tip now almost bright red with cum leaking from the slit. Shifting your body on your side, he lays down behind you, pulling you closer and your back is now touching his chest, your warm scent suffocating him. Wrapping a hand around his shaft, he brings his cockhead to your tight hole, running it up and down between your lips before pressing into you. A string of curses leave him as he keeps forcing his fat cock into you, ignoring your quiet whimpers and only focusing on the hot pleasure that pools into his veins like an addicting drug. 

As he finally bottoms out inside you, he can practically see stars. While it’s a tight fit, he swears your pretty cunt was made perfectly for him. He would have never imagined you to feel this amazing wrapped around his cock and he almost cums from you clenching around him alone.

Taking a deep shaky breath, he wraps his arms around your waist and tries to force himself to relax, but you're insides are so hot and tight.

He knows this will be a nightmare to deal with when you wake, but right now he could care less. You’ll be out for a while anyways, might as well take a quick nap before then.

Everything is quiet, your breathing now much heavier along with his. Adorable mumbles fall from your lips as time quickly passes by. He feels himself dip in and out, a sweet slumber with you in his embrace almost taking over, but he's jolted out of it when you clench around his cock.

Only an hour goes by before his hand snakes down to rub your puffy nub, his hips moving slowly before he quickly delves into being rougher. Shoving his nose into your neck, taking deep breaths of you while he pounds into your soaked cunny.

"It's okay, you'll be so happy when you wake up, that I saved you. You love daddy, I know you do, Fuck-" his cock twitches inside you, you feel so good, he can barely contain the deep moans and growls rumbling in his chest.

He just wants to feel you, that's it, he'll make sure to not cum inside.

Daily reminder;

Your anime boyfriend is a sadist and would purposely push your head down while you’re sucking him off solely because he enjoys hearing you gag on his fat cock and seeing your eyes well up with tears as they roll down your flushed cheeks with spit dribbling down your chin.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk