Latest Posts by bleu-light - Page 2

Look at the dogo

Lesson learned today: don't put your jewellery anywhere near the sink :')

I come to you on yhis great day with a question: where are the Cuteguy and Hotguy playlists ? Where ??!!?

After a bit of hyperfixaton and too much time I have realised no one in the fandom even made one. How is that possible?

Thank you for your time (now hopefully I'll see a playlist appear)

This is just hilarious

Watching RE7 playthroughs and suddenly got a vision of Ethan not as a BSAA agent but as like a guest lecturer or smtg.

Chris asks Ethan comes in to speak to a class. All the BSAA agents in training are real confused. Ethan comes in looking like a wholeass dad. He’s wearing a pair of square tortoiseshell glasses, a creased button down that he’s tucked tight into khaki shorts with a ton of pockets. He’s carrying a brown briefcase that has seen better days and doesn’t match the brown of his shorts AT ALL.

He kind of stumbles up to the podium. He sets the briefcase down in front of him but doesn’t open it. He leans his hands on the lectern and rocks back and forth on his heels a little. Chris, in the corner of the room, gets a few concerned glances.

Ethan ruffles his hair and pushes his glasses back up his nose. He sniffs. “Alright the first rule to dealing with a situation involving a BOW is to find a weapon—“

He’s interrupted by a student in the front row who says, “Um who are you?”

Another one cuts in. “Yeah why should we listen to you?”

Ethan starts like he’s just remembered he left the stove on. “Sorry sorry I didn’t even introduce myself.” He smiles at them all. “Hi my name is Ethan Winters, I’m a bioweapon—“

Everyone in the class pulls out a gun and one person actually shoots Ethan, hitting him where his heart would be. The class gasps.

“Fuck!” Ethan shouts. Then his shoulder sort of ripples, and kind of spits the bullet out into Ethan’s waiting hand. He looks sheepishly at them all. “Sorry for swearing, that spot’s just been a little tender since Miranda ripped my heart out.”

He couldn’t mean Mother Miranda could he? Rumored to be the true progenitor of all bioweapons? Who enslaved a whole village for over a hundred years? He’s talking about her like she’s his next door neighbor Miranda.

“Oh and Chris knows I’m a bioweapon it’s ok he’s still fine with me being here.” Chris nods his agreement. “Because you see, I’m a rather rare transformed bioweapon. As in, I used to be just as human as all of you, but I came into contact with high concentrations of contaminated material and ended up forcibly changed into a bioweapon by some other BOWs I was fighting.”

The room has gone silent. Everyone’s eyes are wide. They’ve sat back down and stowed their weapons but can’t bring themselves to do anything else but gape at this man.

“Ok so, let’s try something different. How many of you have heard of the Dulvey incident?”

Tons of hands go up. “Ok great, good. So that was me. How about the Romania incident?”

A few shaky hands go up. “Yeah I figured it wouldn’t really be public knowledge but that one was me too. I mean, I’m saying it was me but I don’t mean that I like started the outbreak or caused all the damage.”

Chris lets out an amused questioning noise. Ethan’s head whips around to look at him. “Shut up Chris.”

That, more than anything, convinces the students that this guy is the REAL DEAL.

The lecture goes great, even if some of Ethan’s advice is rather specific. “And if you ever find yourself facing a shadow puzzle, make sure you remember the perspective, some objects will only fit the pattern if you turn them to match the size of the other items around them.”

Or is frankly not recommended. “Wait until right after she’s passed you then run like hell through the door she just exited.”

Or sounds like something only a completely insane person would do. “So she told me I’d never see my daughter again so I flipped her off and said ‘just like you’ll never see yours bitch.’ I thought it was really clever in the moment.”

But overall, they learn a lot, and when their regular lecturer comes back they all start begging him to take another vacation so Ethan can come and teach again. Ethan himself is confused but happy, Chris has never laughed so hard in his life.

I can hope but this probs won't work lmao