I Was Playing Hearts Of Iron 4 But With The Kisserreich Mod (supposed To Be The World If The Central

One topic I feel like doesn’t get talked about enough in Hetalia is weird deaths. Like since they have probably lived for a really long time, most have been alive since the Middle Ages, imagine the stupid stories they have about death. Yeah sure some deaths are and were serious but France has has two of his kings die bc of a door. NOT ONE BUT TWO BLOODY KINGS HAVE DIED FROM FUCKING DOORS. Let’s not forget about the whole “fuck around and find out”, probably most nations have died bc of animals. Hell I want to imagine that Ancient Greece’s head was split in half from a fucking turtle or that Australia died bc he swam too far and no one( New Zealand) bothered to swim to him to see if he was alive, or that he died in the goddamn Emu war (he didn’t die but he definitely felt dead inside from being made fun of from the other nations)

I keep on forgetting that the first Olympics were in hetalia, but there are some weird ass stuff that have happened at the Olympics. For instance, the marathon in St. Louis (1904? I can’t search rn but I will later) there were so many people that died and one guy took a car and won but then he was disqualified.But in the first Olympics there was this one Greek who managed to win but he wasn’t even trained to run a marathon, he was just a water bearer who wore Traditional Greek clothes (wooden shoes and about 20 kilos amount of clothes) and I would really love to see the characters reaction to this. Or maybe when an Australian won a medal in Winter Olympics games because everyone else fell down.

When and Where would nations be “born”? Like we know that Egypt was born in 3000bc and in Ancient Egypt. But I don’t think we know anyone else. I Head-canon that Greece was born during the Hellenistic period, due to all of the Greek lands uniting (Literally all except for Sparta) with the “help” of Phillip II and Alexander the Great.I feel like it would be ironic if he was born in Lacedaemonia (Sparta), even though he is more philosophical and a lover of history in Canon,but he would most likely be born in Athens bc of said reasons. Would France be born in Gaul or in the Franks? There are a lot more people I would want to question but idk history of a lot of nations

Can someone please answer this bc I’m confused. During 1915-1917 there was a national dispute between the king and the Prime minister in Greece what tf would Greece do in this? Like would he be in the side of king bc highest power or be with the PM since he has most of the people with him?

One thing I would like to see in Hetalia would be the raisin dispute between France and Greece. Back in the mid 1800s both countries made lots of raisins. However, France got hit with a fucking blight in the crops and couldn’t grow any, so they couldn’t sell it.So the Greeks decided to DESTROY EVERY OTHER TREE AND PLANTS THEY HAD TO PUT PLANTS TO MAKE RAISINS TO MAKE PROFIT. It worked for some years, I think, but then France got rid of the blight and was able to make raisins again so no one bought the Greek raisins and lots of people became homeless and poor. I Headcanons that even though Greece and France are good friends they fight for the best raisins to this day(Greece starts them).

I imagine Russia being the most awkward person in hetalia, especially during the USSR when Stalin was in rule. Russia himself gives off awkward vibe, but oh boy Stalin was notorious for being like this all the time. For example he one time stood up, no one else did, felt embarrassed, sat down again.

I feel like America is a shit driver mostly bc of one stupid moment in history. Back in 1895 in Ohio there were only two cars, in the whole fucking state the 2 cars managed to crash. And it’s not like they could go very fast back then, no you could walk faster than those cars. Literally every nation that drives makes fun of him but he doesn’t mind.

europe is geniunely so funny i love you all

HETALIA OFFICE MASTERPOST

Lol you know The Office? Its good but what if it was like,,, H e t a l i a?

ALLIES

America: Baaaaasically Michael from The Office. He likes leading and cares about the team, but can be a little… out of hand… sometimes. Canada: He sits in the corner and no one knows he’s there, but he’s always pulling his weight in projects. China: Always calling for tech support. Always. It annoys the heck out of whomever’s sitting next to him. France: Is the one who “accidentally” sends an email around to the people at the office which has “inappropriate” content.  England: Getting up in arms because either America’s being incompetent or he’s fed up with France’s nonsense. Russia: “It’d be a shame if something were to happen, da?” (he doesn’t work well with other people, too many HR complaints).

AXIS

Germany: He isn’t the boss but he is the annoying backseat driver who isn’t even second in command. Italy: “Lets go to a ✨𝒌𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒐𝒌𝒆 𝒃𝒂𝒓✨ after all this guys and someone else can pay!!!11!!” Japan: Forgets about the work and is watching anime with his screens turned away from everyone else.

BALTICS

Estonia: Guess who’s 𝓣𝓮𝓬𝓱 𝓢𝓾𝓹𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓽 👁️ 👄 👁️ Lithuania: “Okay you want me to do that? I’ll do it just dont fire me pls dont” Latvia:"Hey boss what about the fact that you’re doing it wrong?”

EASTERN EUROPE

Romania: Actually does the work but doesn’t tell anyone when he’s done so he can sneak off and do whatever Bulgaria: Microsoft paint obsessed Ukraine: Cares for everyone like the epic mom friend she is Belarus: She doesn’t work there. She’s just there. And so far no one’s had balls enough to tell her to go.

MEDITERRANEAN EUROPE

Spain: "Hey guys I know you didn’t ask but ill make you all lunch! It’s going to be pasta! For the fifteenth day in a row!” Romano: RAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORKRAGEWORK- Greece: That one person with the “hang in there bby” poster as well as countless cat photos in frames. He also does his work but he’s real quiet about it. Turkey: Likes to hang out by the water cooler and gossip. Cyprus: Best friends with Greece but works surprisingly well with Bulgaria (or, he does, after an incident of him stealing his yogurt). Vatican City: Keeps a bible with him but follows most things he’s told to do. Monaco: She’s a seceratary but only because she’s able to get out of more work that way.

NORDIC EUROPE

Denmark: Keeps a little box of “creativity legos” on his desk which he plays with. He works in Human Resources and loves it. Sweden: Takes orders for the company’s product and is very organized. Keeps a little picture of his family on his desk which he’ll talk to anyone about. Finland: Has his headphones on all the time and sCrEams at anyone who dare interrupt his work. He also coordinates all of the holidays around the office, as well as parties. Norway: He has a thing for the cute guy in HR and keeps trying to meet him “causally” over by the water cooler. Has a plasma ball on his desk because it looks cool. Iceland: His brother got him an unpaid internship (which he hates) and so he spends a lot of time complaining and texting Norway angry gifs while he goes and hangs out with others his age in the breakroom.

LOW COUNTRIES

Belgium: Brings in cookies for everyone every Monday.  Netherlands: Works with Sweden and the two of them have desks next to each other. He helps Sweden when he’s having a prank war with Denmark. Luxembourg: Some higher-up executive who comes down every once in a while to flaunt his awesome-ness and dole out orders.

CENTRAL EUROPE

Austria: Plays classical music off his computer but without earbuds b/c he doesn’t know how. He’s low-key annoying but doesn’t know it. Slovakia: Has the coolest mousepad ever. He also contributes a substantial amount to most meetings. Czechia: Set her space up to be the neatest in the office. She’s one of the more successful members. Hungary: Made a pinterest board of house ideas in her spare time which she makes Austria look at. She doesn’t really care about the work, she’s just there. Switzerland: Financials. He also calls home at 12pm every day to check in on his sister and make sure everything’s okay.  Poland: Decorated the fuck out of his cubicle. Prussia: Has a whole collection of weird-ass ties which he switches. Some say he’s never worn the same one twice!

ASIA

Hong Kong: Also interning, but he doesn’t hate it and takes it instead as an opportunity to take photos of people and make them either cursed or into memes. Macau: Is the second-in-command in the office and basically controls everything since america isn’t great at it. South Korea: Water cooler? He likes to hang out with Turkey. Thailand: Keeps a cool and ornate whiteboard which he likes to take notes on. Vietnam: “What do you mean I have to work with someone else?!?!?!” Taiwan: She works under Denmark in human resources and often has to resolve conflicts. India: Sometimes invites Vietnam to play chess with him online on their monitors.

AFRICA

Egypt: Stole some of Denmark’s legos without his knowledge so he could build too. He’s pretty bored even though he does everything. Seychelles: Sits by the window and doesn’t get her work done since she’s distracted. Cameroon: Playing pranks on Australia when he gets bored, mostly after he’s finished his work.

OCEANIA + CARIBBEAN

Australia: “OY MATE SO YA WANT TO FOIGHT??!!” (he’s on for that prank war) New Zealand: Sits next to Cyprus and sometimes falls asleep, but Cyprus thinks he’s *kinda* cute and doesn’t wake him. Other than that, he’s really good at running meetings. Cuba: Brings fancy chocolates or other things which he takes out to share with special people on special occasions. He’s pretty nonchalant but comes off as intimidating for some.

Just thinking about how psychotic Canada would be in Hetalia but especially in war.I’ll just give an example, in WW1 they used to take the small amount of POWs they had and dress them in goat skin and wool and send them to South America (I’m not sure if it’s correct but eh). Another one is that they invented the night trench raids and killed everything that breathed and stole everything. I’m just imagining a Canada covered in blood and shit he stole and England is looking at him like “This ain’t the dominion I raised”.