A Beautiful Candlelit Dinner Where We're Both Holding A Knife To Each Other's Throats The Entire Time

what a good day to remember that butch lesbians (ESPECIALLY trans, poc, and/or fat butch lesbians) aren’t fucking predatory 

Thinking about Martin Blackwood tonight lads. Do you ever think about how he views himself as someone with very little actual agency and he's the one who ended the story. He's the one who killed Jon. He views himself at first as someone who cannot affect events at all because nobody gives a shit, because he's trying so hard but everyone's just IGNORING him even when he wants so badly to fix this. He at first has no agency because of circumstances. And then when he chooses not to go with Peter, suddenly everything falls apart. All his choices leading up to this, choosing to make a plan to get rid of Elias, choosing to assist Peter, avoiding Jon, avoiding everyone- they all led up to this. So he's just very nervously stepping back and trying to fit back into The Caretaker. He tries to deny himself agency. Hell, he describes himself as the anti christs plus one for gods sake. And when Jon actually asks him to make choices, or acknowledges that yes Martin is the one who wants to make this decision, not Jon. He freaks out. But him attempting to just not Do anything and just sit back doesn't actually help. He still hurts people even when he disappears from their lives, or just tries to make Them make the choices he wants to make. And this makes his conversation with Also Martin so so interesting. He can't avoid making choices just because he keeps making the wrong ones. It doesn't mean nobody gets hurt. Thinks about Martin's view of himself as someone with No Agency vs how much affect he has on the story as a whole. His introductory episode is when the plot gets moving even!

He views himself as someone who has no affect on other people. His choices reflect that a lot of the time. When faced with the fact that yes, even when he's trying to not do Anything, he still affects other people he doesn't exactly handle it well. He affects so much, for better or for worse. He both is the reason Jon didn't end the entire world and he hurts so many people while thinking his actions will do Nothing for anyone but him. Do you get it.

He goes up to the panopticon, still expecting to just delay until they can stop Jon. But Jon does exactly what he told him to do. He listens. When Martin chooses not to leave, Jon tells him to end it. It's just. It's SO. He views himself as never being the focus, as it never being about what he wants, as the anti christs plus one, and he is when we start learning about the plot and he is the one who kills the protagonist do you GET IT. I'm sorry I am currently chewing on walls.

but the show must go on

Mulder on his solo eps: I FUCK BITCHES and KILL MONSTERS no one understands my near psychic detective skills (guessing). Sorry woman whose already in love with me, the role of most important person in my life is already filled by Dana Scully. Hold on she's calling me right now to complain, it's so funny when she's annoyed.

Scully on her solo eps: hmm unfathomable horrors, could we make this catholic somehow? Good. Yeah I'll go ahead and incorporate that into my belief system. Hold on woman and/or older man that I'm pseudo flirting/ definitely sleeping with, I need to answer a call from this looser whose obsessed with me.

Mulder on phone: 😍hi Scully😍 whatcha dooooin'👉👈

I have zero clue what is going on in this image, but it is so striking that I must reblog. This post has wormed into my brain and it must be shared.

he did not have a brat summer

A doctor saying "Good news! Your labs look great" is like if you were watching a cop show and the chief walked in like "Great news, everybody! The best news! The killer is still at large and we have no leads."

2024

IF IT NO LONGER SERVES YOU, LEAVE

SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

ALL IS NOT AS IT APPEARS

DO NOT EQUATE TEMPERANCE WITH INACTION

THE WORLD IS ABUNDANT

YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BOTH GREAT HORROR AND GREAT KINDNESS TOO

THERE IS BEAUTY AND HOPE IN ALL COMPASSION

THIS IS NOT YOUR GRAVE

GET THE FUCK UP

I think the reason I connected to house so much this time around as opposed to the last time I tried to watch it (and only managed one season) is the chronic pain

When I last watched it my injury was brand new. I hurt, and I hurt a lot, but as far as I know the doctors could fix it. I would eventually go through so many scans and see physical therapists and people I assume are experts in Backs™ and yet. It's been a decade since my injury and it hurts, it hurts all the time and every day. Sometimes it hurts a little, sometimes it hurts a lot, but it never does not hurt. And a few years ago it became clear: I am going to be in pain for the rest of my life.

I've never seen another show other than house talk about that, represent that, treat it with respect. House sucks and is often capable of being a deeply horrible person but we never ever forget that he's in pain. It's never mocked, it's never discarded, treatments wear off and the medication he uses is addictive poison. His injury is technically much worse than mine. But it's the same thing: it hurts. And it hurts all the time. And it's never going to not hurt.

So yeah. There's a lot of other appeal to the show, there's lots of reasons to like it, and I do like it on the merit of other characters and just because I really like case of the week shows.

But I can't deny that when House talks about being in pain, I get it. I get it now like I simply didn't eight or nine years ago. And people keep telling that I'm brave for living like this, but I don't have any choice. It's either pain or it's death. And House is the same.

in retrospect i'm enjoying imagining the brainstorming meeting where they were like "our userbase is full of introverted, nervous, and annoying people doing parallel play, they all love bothering each other, but they also don't want to be overly familiar with strangers, let alone the people they've been hanging out with for literal years, how do we add enrichment to that antisocial social enclosure" and the correct answer was to let us socialize like a feral cat colony and nonverbally and impersonally yet lovingly smack each other lol

the day has arrived