Bart Allen’s eyes.
Batman: phone rings "Hello?"
Tim: "DadJasonjustshottheguninthehouseandnoweverythingisinabsoluteanarchypleasecomesaveme" dodges vase "oh my god, DAMIAN! GO PUT THE TIGER BACK!"
Justice Legue: ...
Batman: "Wait, slow down. Jason did what? Damian has a Tiger?"
Tim: "Do you really need to ASK? THERE'S A TIGER IN THE HOUSE, BRUCE!"
Batman: "I'll be home soon. Is everyone okay?"
Tim: "My mental stability isn't but I think their fine-" BANG "Nevermind, Damian's been shot."
Batman: "Where is Alfred?"
Tim: "Silently watching us in the corner of the room." pause of silence "OH GOD, THERE'S A FIRE! I gotta go."
click
Batman: Emergency. I have to leave.
Superman, that heard everything with Super-hearing: ... Right. So-
Dick: I am, in fact, a snack; People just aren't hungry.
Wally: I'm fucking starving.
Damian, scowling: You're both disgraces.
I have been plunged into a bug world. I love bug but spider bug eat stick bug, how do I stop this.
ooh check out my very spooky scary uquiz: welcome to my jigsaw saw trap (except I’m not very good at being jigsaw :/ )
Bruce: Who's going to help me take down Superman?
batchildren™: crickets
Bruce: Really? None of you? You're my kids!
Jason, from the back: We're adopted!
Bruce: Damian isn't.
Damian: I'm dating Superman's son, I can't kill Jon's dad.
Everyone else: ...
Bruce: Tim?
Tim: I'm actually dating Kon...
Bruce:... Jason?
Jason: Fuck you, old man. I just don't like you.
Bruce: Dick, tell me you aren't dating someone from the superfamily, too.
Dick: Nope.
Bruce: sigh of relief
Dick: Only Wally!
Bruce, realizing all of his kids are dating the pupils of the colleagues he dislikes most: I'm gonna go take a nap...
Bart, trying hard to be the distraction: I'm so sorry about this. It's my assistant that makes all the reservations, and she's been under heavy medications. She was recently diagnosed with Parvo.
Bad guy: Isn't that a dog's disease?
Bart, watching Tim sneak behind the desk: Yes, yes, it is. My assistant is a Golden Retriever. Adorable, but dim. Her whole keyboard is just three big buttons. She has very large paws. I should have fired her years ago, but she's a rescue and I just didn't have the heart.
Any good dad bruce hcs?
everything I’ve ever written is good dad bruce and I don’t believe in anything else and I will die on the hill of good dad Bruce
bruce has skipped multiple justice league meetings because his kids asked him to stay home
he carries like jolly ranchers and starburst and candy like that in his utility belt because when dick was a kid be used to beg bruce to get him ice cream on every patrol and this was the best way bruce could find to get him to stop asking
When Jason was Robin, they made it a habit of going to every home game the Gotham Knights had whether it was Bruce and Jason eating hot dogs in the stands at the baseball stadium or Batman and Robin watching the field, hidden somewhere where they’ve got a perfect view
I think because of my dad I just associate dads with Star Trek now but like... Bruce watches Star Trek with his kids. Tim’s the only one who watched more than just the original series with him
Bruce had an exact replica made of his mother’s iconic pearl necklace (you know the one) and gave it to Cass for her birthday one year and she absolutely treasures it
Damian isn’t the most extroverted person and neither is Bruce so most of their interactions are just sitting in the room together (this also goes for Tim and Cass with these two) but a lot of times when Bruce is working from home Damian will sit in his office and draw and every so often if Bruce is on a zoom call for work he tends to mute his mic so he can just chat with Damian about whatever he’s drawing and all that
Also: Bruce and Damian tend to walk Ace and Titus together every morning. Sometimes Jason comes too to walk Ace instead of Bruce, but Bruce is always there
Putting the annoyed in paranoid since the day he was birthed
oh don’t mind me i’m just thinking about how young justice (2011) could’ve been as good as teen titans (2005) if the creators used the og young justice team from the 98 comics instead of making it dick grayson and friends 2.0
Six Fanarts!
⚡Bart And Batfam⚡ Headcanons + Theories, Fuck the Flash, Impulse + Rogue Supremacy
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