Your Lordness, Speaking Of Isekai... Are You Going To Make Another Fic Based On That? Because I Checked

WOW😳

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

Idk

Guys do u know that one meme where there's a girl and like a bodyguard (???) ordering drinks and the waiter give them the wrong drinks so they switch them on the last panel,???????? BECAUSE I C1NT FING IT^

Elves have heighten senses right, so they probably never had a need for hunting dogs. So they probably never had dogs as pets. So...

Bard: These are my children!

Thranduil (points at dog): what is that

Bard: that’s my son!

Thranduil: Bard what the fuck?!?!?

Three (Ginny Weasley x Hermione Granger x reader)

Warnings: smut, swearing

Summary: Hermione plans for Ginny to help her with a surprise for y/n’s birthday. Hermione remembers y/n’s wish to have a threesome with another girl

Note: I got so many requests for a Hermione smut and I got just as much about Ginny in my inbox so I decided I’d combine it.

You and Hermione had been working hard and have barely any time to spend together. Your birthday is next week and Hermione is determined to make it special. She thought about what to get you for weeks leading up to it until she was sitting in her office and came up with an idea. “Hey Gin, I was wondering if you wanted to help with something for Y/n’s birthday next week?” It didn’t take much convincing so Hermione and Ginny had the perfect plan.

The morning of your birthday Hermione made you breakfast and you went off to work as usual. Your day was like any other day in an office, boring and stressful. You get home and take a shower with Hermione, she kisses you against the cold shower wall and her hand slowly moves inbetween your thighs. Until you hear knocking on the door, you groan “I’ll go answer it” You wrap yourself up in a bathrobe and answer the door, it’s Ginny.

“Ginny! I didn’t know you were coming” “I’m sorry I didn’t send an owl before I came I wanted to tell you happy birthday in person.” “Come in Hermione is in the shower but she should be out soon.” You sit on the couch beside Ginny. “It’s been forever I’m so glad to see you again” you and Ginny talk for a bit while Hermione is still in the shower. “Y/n I didn’t get you a physical present but I can give you one now” “What’s that mean Gin?” You chuckle. “I’ll show you” she kisses your neck “Ginny! Hermione is in the bathroom she’ll be out soon.” She unties your bathrobe and Hermione walks out “Mione!” You jump back “Hey Gin. I see you’re already getting to it” “What’s going on?” You ask “This is your present, I know you’ve always wanted us to have sex with another person so I brought Ginny in” “We should go to your bedroom, it will be more comfortable there.”

You walk to yours and Hermione’s bedroom. Hermione takes the bathrobe off completely and Ginny kisses your lips. You grab her bum and kiss her back. Hermione undresses Ginny breaking the kiss, you join in, Hermione pulls Ginny’s skirt down and you take her top off kissing her inbetween. Hermione pulls Ginny’s underwear down to her ankles and kisses her inner thighs.

“I’ll watch as you two get started” Hermione says sitting down on the couch near the bed. “Are you sure?” You ask “Yes, it’s fun watching you.” Ginny grabs your arm and pulls you on the bed “I can’t wait any longer!” Ginny kisses you, and brings her hand to your clit circling it a few times making you whimper against her lips. She removes her lips from yours and kisses down your body, spreading your legs. She kisses up your legs to your inner thighs, you whimper “Please Ginny” you beg. She finally attaches her lips to your clit and starts to suck then lick, you can barely control your moans. “You really like that huh?” She looks up at you and you nod “Keep moaning for me, pretty girl.”

You feel yourself get close as she works her tongue on your cunt “Oh fuck Ginny I’m going to cum” she stops eating you out “Not yet” you groan and kiss her, she lays you back down on the bed. “Hermione” she says and Hermione passes her a vibrator, Ginny turns it on to the lowest setting and puts it to your clit, you let out a moan “Good girl” she says turning it up. Hermione gets undressed and spreads her legs her fingers entering her core and she starts fingering herself. The room is filled with yours and Hermiones moans, you feel yourself about to cum, you grip the sheets “Ginny!” “Good girl, come on, cum for me” you feel your stomach tighten and you finish.

Hermione lets out a loud moan and you both see she finished too. “Hermione, come here” Ginny says, Hermione walks over and Ginny kisses her. Ginny spreads your legs and places herself in between your legs. “I’m going to ride your face, darling” Hermione says and positions herself on your face.

It started out slow, Hermiones moans were quiet and pretty, you started to moan against her pussy. Ginny started to speed up and you became really turned on by Hermione riding your face and Ginny grinding herself against your cunt. Hermione finishes on your face and gets off helping you get to your high. Hermione sucks on your nipple and pinches the other one.

“I’m going to cum” you moan “Go on, cum for me” Ginny says. You let out a string of moans before finishing and Ginny wasn’t too far behind. You all need a minute to recover from your orgasms. “Thank you for the best birthday” you kiss Hermione then Ginny “Whenever you two want to spice things up again I’ll be happy to come back.”

Does... does this implies that... Chilchuck is the tallest of them all...? If they were all haflings, it's oficial that yes. Now, look at me play my game.

Chilchuck is said to be tall for a hafling, and he is. The avarage would be 100 cms, and he's 110 Laios is a tallman, but he's also tall for his race (the average height is 180cm for men, he's 185).

Marcille is 160 (elves are 150 and tall men 170, so we good here, I'd say she's average too). Sehshi is 140, he's actually taller than the average for male dwarves (135). And Itzusumi is shorter than the avatage of female tallmen (170), being only 150.

So far, if they all changed to the same race at the same time, Itzusumi would always be the shortest, followed my marcille. Senshi and Laios should be around the same height since theyre both 5 cms taller than the avarage (I know that as haflings Laios is taller, maybe he keeps being taller than Senshi just because). And Chilchuck would be the tallest. He's 10 cms taller than the avarage of his race after all.

Might this useless information hunt you until the end of your days.

clark reupload

edit: forgot the sweater comic

Jajajajajaja

For some reason, I wonder what aliens think of sky diving, I like to think like this (H is human) (A is alien)

A: human... I did some research, and I have a question

H: Sure, ask away

A: What is "sky diving"

H: Oh, it's a sport where we get in a plane, fly very high... And jump

A:YOU WHAT!?!

H: We jump, but don't worry, we can land safely

A: oh thank god... So, you use some kind of gravitation device? Or use some technological device to land slowly?

H: Uhhh, not exactly....

A: .... Human... What exactly do you use....

H: ...

A: Human, what... Exactly... Do you use?

H: a backpack with a bunch of fabric... Sometimes silk....

A: ...

H: ...

A: YOU USE CLOTHING, TO STOP YOUR FALL, AFTER JUMPING OFF SEVERAL THOUSAND FEET UP!?

H: Yeah, but it's a different kind of fabric you know...

A: ... Okay, but what do you do if the fabric breaks, or if it gets tangled

H: ... Enjoy the view?

A: ... I still don't know why you aren't extinct

the potential for the "i felt that from you" to be a "i felt that for you" was strong

but the writers are fucking cowards

Miles “Who’s Morales?” Morales