A Year Tomorrow, Isnt It? Or Was It Today? I've Lost Track, At This Point. Im Sure It's Tomorrow, Though.

when you’re under a ton of stress then start to notice your memory worsen, your headaches becoming more frequent, and communication going nonexistent…

I relate to this so badly.

When I first found out I had DID, it was like a revolving door of alters. Almost everyone would front within a two or three day period. Now the switches are a lot more stable and longer.

Suddenly the little who used to front all the time has fronted maybe like once for maybe an hour in the last two months. The old two main fronters aren't fronting at all, only really me (Klause) and sometimes Winter.

But idk. Maybe it is happening and I'm just not remembering it.

Anguish.

Vicious. Demeaning. Sweet. Dotty. Antonyms that, to the average person, are simply words. The reflection of every mirror of who you are speaks to me differently. To say we suffered equal amounts is laughable. You spent your nights crying. You spent your nights in fury, pensive. I held you when allowed to, waited when you left. Soaked in every insult, every complaint. I drank the poison poured for me, to forget my miserable existence. I used devices that my parents put out on me, smoke filling my lungs and spilling through my eyes. Refusal to breathe, not as if you'd let me up anyways. I suffered in silence as your screams of betrayal echoed the halls. You displayed every knife on a wall of shame, I had to hide the fact I was bleeding. Are you aware that you dug this mess?

Several months I held you. Waiting for the truth, waiting for you to tell me the truth. Your sheer refusal, you're adamant on your innocence when everything you've touched has been tainted. You've damaged everything good that has come close to you, clawing at salvation. Praying to a God you mocked me for believing in. I prayed for my freedom, I prayed for the truth. I prayed that I wouldn't die by your hands. You have mocked my existence, and yet whispers of your crimes still linger these walls. Are you aware that those you consider close to you, don't hold you as close as you hold them?

I turn a blind eye to those you are currently hurting, guilty conscious keeping me up at night. You're in a similar boat, I can tell. You are falling apart. I waited several months quietly, waiting for you to tell me the truth. To confide in me as you said you would. You never did. You never threw a ball for me to swing at, and then call me a bad batter. All I wanted was to cater to your beck and call. Myself destroyed, it wouldn't have mattered because you'd be happy. Why was what I did for you something that made you happiest this year?

Where were you when I was soaking the carpet with salty veins of water? Where were you when I begged for the mercy of a higher being, for a listening ear? You can sit there and say I didn't do much for you, and yet the marks of your nails of desperation scar my thighs and back. I showed my all to you, revenge and forgiveness. Forget and cleanslates. Nothing was enough for you. An overwhelming need to be a king that you aren't. The chambers of your terrifying childhood never let you out, blinded by the fear instilled by the ones you were supposed to trust. Why must you mock every person I care for? Are you infuriated that they are loyal to me, with no one in your own corner?

I'm sorry they let you down. You have no reason to pray on the younger beings we are destined to protect, with the excuse of "I went through it too", however. May whatever being controls this sad life leads you to some sort of saving grace, for I can not help you. May it have mercy on your soul. You disgust me. I used to beg for some sort of solace. Now, I'm going to lead with justice. Are you ready?

Im sorry but it is so funny how people outside of tumblr view us. Like why are the tiktokers treating tumblr like some professional ass website you need to do extensive prep before you begin posting on. And the follower farming advice is so fucking funny to me when this is the website where people actively hate getting new followers

Web weaving about the untold story in you !

"I guess we doin peekaboo now"

KILL IT

reblog if it's okay for your mutuals to message you and create an actual friendship, not just interactions

If you call I wont hesitate to pick up the phone and stay with you for the rest of my waking days. I refuse to tell another soul about you again. You're too important to me.

So my now ex who I thought would be my forever person turned out to be one of the worst manipulators and abusers I've had somehow! And also somehow I'm not that upset about it I saw it coming lol stay unbothered

Great soup even

When two characters are dancing around their very obvious feelings for one another. And it’s the night before the big fight. Either of them could very well die. They both know this. One confesses their feelings, the one who’s usually so quiet, so pent up because this love isn’t something they think they deserve. And the other is overjoyed, ready to catch up on years spent pining hopefully from the sidelines. And then the battle happens. The confessor nearly dies. It comes to light they only confessed because they fully intended to die and didn’t want their lover to not know how they really felt. So now they have to navigate this aftermath. How do you deal with knowing your lover loves you, but not enough to live for you? Good soup….