Nickname - Dishy/SaltyPronouns - He/him Hi! I’m Dishy, a.k.a Salty. I have a wattpad account by the same name as this one! Thanks for checking this profile out!
114 posts
Latest Posts by dishwaffles - Page 4
Cowards won’t Reblog
you’d be surprised with the number of women who give their numbers out of fear
One for the lads
Reblog if you think fanfiction is a legitimate form of creative writing.
um fuck yes
Only like 9 people follow me but if you’re a pedophile please stop.
If you call pedophilia a kink please unfollow me and never talk to me again
If you’re a full grown adult who’s attracted to children please kindly fuck off
smash that mf reblog if u hate pedophiles
Hear me out... Be More Chill Glee AU
I KNOW! I KNOW! “EW WTF OP GLEE SUCKS!!!!” I HEAR YOU, AND I AGREE!…
However…
I cannot pass up the opportunity to not only make an AU where the Squip Squad is performing ON STAGE in front of the state of New Jersey in flamboyant outfits, being bullied for being in a glee club, getting to know each other at a NORMAL pace, and all other pros you can think of for having free reign over SOPHOMORE YEAR SQUIP SQUAD being in a glee club, but also make Glee have a more bearable fucking plot line.
Obviously, in my head, this is how the universe is built (I imagine them as the Two River Theater cast because that’s the version I heard first, but whichever you prefer):
Jake is Finn. Dad’s dead, mom is barely holding it together and he’s really trying here, man. His friends on the team are douche-canoes, and he knows that, but he can’t just blow them off. He’s hoping to get into college with a football scholarship, but he might have to join the army. Joined the club because the Football coach who he sees as a father figure (maybe Mr. Heere?) said he needed to get out of his comfort zone more.
Chloe is Santana. Ruthless, but still a fan favorite nonetheless. Very closeted Lesbian (Or whichever sexuality you headcanon her as), and she’s just all around full of nothing but sass. Extremely soft for Brooke and Brooke only. Joined Glee club because Brooke thought it would be fun.
Brooke is Brittany. Not the brightest, but lovable and huggable all the same. Adores Chloe and is the only one who can get through to her, and always has the best jokes that aren’t meant to be jokes but still are. Joined cause she thought it would be fun.
Jenna is Quinn. You love her, but God do you hate her. She’s nice to pretty much everyone who isn’t in Glee club, despite being in said Glee club, and is still the main source of gossip. Joined to be able to clown on everyone, also because Brooke and Chloe joined.
Rich is Rachel (**collective booing**). I KNOW! WHY WOULD I DO THAT TO HIM? Well, easy, he’s not popular in this AU. Rich still very much has his lisp, he is still very much a closeted Bi, still very much in love with someone he can’t have (you guessed it, Jake), and yet much more bearable than Rachel. Joined Glee club to try and get some friends, not to be the worst person on Earth.
Christine is Artie. She’s not in the spotlight, but she doesn’t mind. She would enjoy getting maybe one or two more duets with people, but it’s not a big deal. She’s absolutely chilling, and I don’t see why she shouldn’t be. Everyone adores her, she skips through the halls and people should find it annoying, but her personality is electric so it’s hard to be mad at her for anything. Is the main reason the Glee club even came back. Stan Christine Canigula for clear skin.
Jeremy is Tina. Shy, still has a great voice, underappreciated, and style kinda wack but we love that for him you know? Doesn’t speak up much for fear of being judged, and joined the Glee Club on the premise of “The bullying couldn’t get any worse”. He was wrong, but at least he has a place to hang out after school.
Michal is Mike. Yeah, not much changed name wise, but also because he’s just so mellowed out, you know? Incredible dancer, free spirited guy, listening to Bob Marley in his headphones even though he swears it’s like, drake or something. He hates Drake though. No one knows why. Joined Glee so he could dance publically and not get judged for it, also because that Jeremy kid is cute.
Mr Reyes is Mr. Shue but not the creepiest guy on the planet who blackmails people into joining Glee Club. Cares for his students and gets close to them without becoming unprofessional. Helps his students through their issues instead of adding to them. No weird rivalry thing between him and the Cheer Coach. Revived Glee club because Christine asked him 80000 times and he was tired of hearing about it.
Speaking of, The Squip is the cheer coach! Not in a villainous way, also his name is Steven, or Samuel, or some shit like that, but just to be a cheer coach. Sure, maybe his methods cross the line a bit, but it’s nothing bad. Still a dick, but in an endearing way.
Ship wise it goes:
RichJake/Arson Bros because I am a sucker for these nerds, and also big tall little small dynamics are my everything. They have a lot of potential, and they play off of each other really well. All in all, great relationship.
Boyf riends because I feel they can be great together, especially without the whole “I ignored you for months because I was high on a quantum nanotechnology CPU from japan that manipulated me” issue. Not to mention they care for each other really deeply, so that’s a plus.
Pinkberry because no one can convince me these two wouldn’t be the school power couple in every universe. Chloe is that bitch, and Brooke is the sweet after taste that hits you after the fiery tang. Already super close, and would totally bond over dumb stuff in this universe.
Friendship wise:
Obviously the Unholy Trinity is still together in this universe, like, duh.
Jake and Michael are on the football team together. I know nothing about football but I know that I enjoy the ‘football players that are soft af but only in private’ trope so yeah. But because they are on the football team, of course they know the Unholy Trinity.
Rich and Jeremy are super close, like best friends since kindergarten close, because I said so. Jeremy ISN’T an ass friend in this universe because I’m honestly tired of the whole “Jeremy is a dick but we’ll give him a pass because main character” shit. He’s a genuinely good friend, and that is obvious. Rich is an absolute sweetheart, and in that way they are similar.
Plot:
Take Glee season one. Cool! Now make it even better! Take away those weird lines you always found questionable, the story lines that made you cringe, and the rivalries that made no sense. Make these kids actually care about each other, not like each other one minute and be tearing at eachothers throats the next. Yes, you can have drama. Make Chloe want to leave the club for good, have Jeremy feel like he’s not good enough to be in the club, have Christine feel responsible for either of those happening, but make it a lot more likely than most of the drama on Glee.
There’s A LOT you could expand on with everything I’ve given, but this is just what my brain has come up with so far.
Feel free to write it if you want, maybe link to this post or something idk, because I don’t think I’d do it justice. It would be a banger to read
though.
SIR YOURE EYE TITTIES ARE NICE BUT THEY DO NOT RIVAL THAT OF THE GREAT MOTHMANS -💙🏴💙
:0
MY EYE TITTIES ARE GREAT THANK YOU V MUCH
mothmans just jealous
mothman kinnie
Honestly as a blind person I’m so tired of seeing fictional blind characters who don’t use white canes or other guides. “They have special powers so they know what’s around them” or “they’re confident enough to not need a guide” are common tropes, and I’m tired.
Are people scared that using a white cane will make their blind character seem weak? They can’t use a cane because they’re so special that they already know what’s around them, and other blind people who use guides are inferior because they’re not special?
I’m tired. Give your blind characters white canes and other guides. Let them hold onto their friends, let them have guide dogs. Don’t make white cane users feel ostracized for not being “strong enough” to go without.
Another thing that pisses me off is when a sighted character comes up with the fantasy equivalent of braille and teaches it to the blind character. Braille was invented by Louis Braille, a blind man, in 1824. The blind character should be the one coming up with it.
Tldr I’m blind and tired of sighted people lol
🔪 Sighted People MUST Reblog This 🔪
I’m just going to leave this here…
@ all trans people about to attend online school:
This will visually remove your deadname from any webpage. Obviously switch it off if your parents wanna check up on your work, but yee here's the link fam!!!! BOOST THIS!!! SEND THIS TO ANY TRANS PERSON YOU KNOW WHO WILL NEED THIS
everybody who reblogs this will get a terrible Sanders Sides pickup line in their inbox. every. single. fander.
shampoo & conditioner… aka the “salt & pepper” of being in the shower. 1 reblog = 1 agree. cheers
it's 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance's new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos' assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.
My mom better get that new job, bagel.
I was assasinated by a crow.
Reblog and put in the tags how you would die if your URL predicted your death
Other Transfolk: *Thinking of what they’re gonna tell their family, asking for advice, etc.*
My stupid ass: *Spends an hour looking for good trans memes to spam my mom with to tell her I’m trans, before chickening our last minute*
I hope so
found object horoscope
Canon complaint with lots of flirting? I mean, yes. I write mainly both of those things. Just not... together?
tag your results!
reblog if you’re a safe place for:
lesbian
gay
bisexual
transgender
queer
pansexual
demisexual
ace
hopeless romantics
cis-men
cis-women
non binary folks
the whole spectrum etc…
follow everyone who reblogs ;)
If you’re trans and go by a name other than your birth/dead name you should reblog this and tag how you picked your real name(s)! I want to know people’s stories!
Okay hold up, this is not related to this blog at all, but Expensive Headphones is one of my brotps, and I have so many head cannons for it-
Like, I think that, once a week, Michael and Rich will meet up, each holding a bag filled with their respective bandana collections. They trade the ones they don’t wear often with each other, and they buy ones they think the other would really like for special occasions, such as birthdays.
I have some more if anyone wants to hear them-