Billy: *reloads Gun* The Gods And Captain Marvel Will Forgive, But I Will Not.

This is actually what the high guard has been doing for the 50 cycles I know this. And Starscream hates losing, but Soundwave can’t be bothered to do anything about that 😒 he’s like a wine mom rn, the way he’s babysitting the whole high guard too. He doesn't really play it with them cuz . It’ll be too easy with his ability, and he’d have to keep hearing everyone argue about who is what

Honestly this lines up with how my associates describe their interactions with Dren. They always talk about how he insists they are his assistants yet he makes them do all the work and doesn't help. I could tell you a few of the highlights of situations they may or may not have intentionally left him in. My favorite story was by far the bottle.

Chancellor,

Following up on my last ask, what do you think of Narsis Dren. Like I mentioned, every single one of my associates who has encountered him despises him. And from what I have heard his ego is bigger then Mannimarco's and possibly rivals that of Molag Bal (Also disregard any reports you have been getting of a Khajiit with glowing eyes, the less you ask about that particular matter the better)

I had, in fact, met Narsis Dren.

"I am an explorer of incomparable renown, the greatest delver into the most dangerous ruins of the past that had ever been!" he said.

Which was all nice, but that particular Ayleid ruin was on a private property of the Tharn estate and has for centuries served as our wine cellar with some extra security measures.

We didn't talk much that time, he gave me such a headache that I ventured into the "foreboding den of promising riches" myself, and when I emerged later with some liquid will to bother with nitwits, he was gone.

I ran into him years later in Reaper's March while I was gathering more information about Knhunzar'ri. He insisted that I could be his "assistant" while he searched the archive for... I don't know what exactly, and honestly I didn't care. The last I saw him, he was trying to get the Pendant of Lunar Flight off while he was hovering under the ceiling. I noticed only because he stopped getting under my feet for three minutes.

”Soundwave put a gag on that one” “Soundwave read that guy’s mind” “Soundwa—“ I KNOW they drive him crazy the way he’s the only competent one, wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the high guard often goes to him for most problems (esp when they’re like “I TOLD you it wasn’t tight enough” or “that just means he believes himself” y’all omg then don’t tell him to do stuff if you’re just gonna say he did it wrong 😭)

And so this is how Soundwave copes with the stress

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!! I bring my followers a longish comic with some Damian feels, I hope you like it :)

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

Bruce would have interesting ways to discipline his kids.

-------------

Bruce: Listen to me, Damian! You can not steal my car and drive across country to visit Jon.

Damian: Then why do I know how to drive! And my mommy says I can! You don't own me!

Bruce: Young man, when you are under my roof you will follow my-

Damian: No I don't.

Bruce: If that's how it's gonna be. *Draws a circle around Damian* Stay there for five minutes.

Damian: D-d-d-daddy?

-------------

Dick: *swinging from the chandelier that has been pass down in Bruce's family for generations* I'm gonna swing from the chan-

Bruce: Get down here this instant!

Dick: I'm not doing anything.

Bruce: Richard Grayson

Dick: You're not my dad!

Bruce: *brings out a bag of m&ms*

Dick: What are you doing? Those are mine?

Bruce: *opens it slowly*

Dick: Bruce?

Bruce:*eats one*

Dick: STOP, I'm coming down. Don't eat them!

-------------

Jason: You can't make me. I'm not going to the party.

Bruce: *head vein throbbing* This is important. You can't skip this event.

Jason: *shrugs* You'll have to carry me.

Bruce: *takes a deep breath and walks away*

Jason: ahah, baby.

Bruce: *comes back with a bottle of castor oil and a spoon*

Jason: You sick sick man. Fine I'll go.

-------------

Bruce: Tim you disappoint me.

Tim: I didn't think it would blow up the Batcave. Or make mustard gas. Or create a sinkhole.

Bruce: *sighs* I have no choice. You going on a nature retreat.

Tim: Bruce!

Bruce: Over two weekends. With the Boy Scouts.

Tim: *tears glisten in his eyes* Bruce...

Bruce: As a junior member.

Tim:

Bonus

Alfred: Right! That's it, Master Bruce. *Pours a spoon of castor oil8

Bruce:

Commissioner Gordon Meets the 3rd Robin

Jim Gordon had seen two Robin's at this point and figured out Batman's civilian identity at this point, so him arriving with a third Robin makes him finally tell Batman he knows he's also Bruce Wayne.

Commissioner Gordon waited on the roof for Batman, like he usually did, but this time he could sense something crazy was about to happen more than usual when dealing with a man who wore a leather bat suit.

Batman (hesitant): Commissioner... Gordon.

Gordon turned around and once he saw the new Robin (Tim Drake), he immediately closed his eyes and shook his head like a disappointed father.

Gordon (jaded): You gotta be kidding me.

Batman nodded in agreement.

Batman (ashamed): I'm aware how odd this looks. I can acknowledge the weirdness at this point. To be fair though... I made it clear I didn't want him to be my new Robin. Tell him, Robin.

Robin!Tim (looking at the bat signal): That's the bat signal... I'm next to it!

Batman groaned, covering his his eyes.

Gordon (tight smile): You sure are kid, you sure are... Batman, he looks the same age as the other kid. Nice to meet you, new Robin.

Robin!Tim: Sup Commissioner Gordon, I met your daughter she's pretty cool.

Gordon (accepting all of this): I raised her well, thanks. I like your suit.

Robin!Tim: Thanks, I added pants. It's form fitting, it works.

Batman (not sure how to word his defense): I'm aware that... I said I would not have another Robin but after needing his assistance I... adopted him. Sort of. Okay, this one came to me. I- I can tell by your expression that, that didn't help the situation.

Gordon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Robin!Tim (hands on his hips): I earned this roll, nothing weird about that.

Gordon: Fair point from the third child sidekick. Batman, at this point I'm not even shocked that you have a new Robin and I like his energy, but um... um... Do you have a specific preference for short, black-haired boys?

Batman glanced at Robin then shrugged because he couldn't think of a good response.

Robin!Tim (confused): Why did you phrase it like that?!

Gordon: I have dealt with this man having three robins at this point and yes it's been three because the first one had a different skin tone and was adorable, the second one was funny, but cussed me out at random and you are very pale, but all of them have had black hair... what is going on?!

Batman (exhausted with life): Honestly, it's a very weird coincidence, but a coincidence nonetheless. That is the least of the questions you need to ask me at this point.

Gordon (sighing): Fair enough, what's his story?

Robin!Tim: I stay with Batman so he doesn't kill himself or murder so many criminals .

Batman (exhausted): Hn, thank you, Robin... that was what you should tell a police chief.

Gordon: Nah, that's the best answer he could have given me in this situation. Can I talk to you in private real quick, Batman?

Batman: Sure. I'm kind of accepting of this part of my hero life. Robin, um, stand here and don't eavesdrop on our conversation.

Robin!Tim: I don't like standing still for long periods of time... I'm just going to spin around my bo staff while you talk to Commissioner Gordon.

Batman: That works for me.

Batman walked off with Gordon to a corner of the roof, a good distance from Robin. Robin eagerly tossed his bo staff in the air and caught if effortlessly.

Batman: Honestly people call me odd for wearing a bat suit but that is the thing that makes the most sense to me in my life. Plus I look awesome so you can't even critique the suit. You know?

Gordon groans, covering his face and trying to wonder how he should start his next statement.

Batman: I already know you're going to ask me some type of evasive question... go ahead ask it.

Gordon clasped his hands together and takes a deep breath.

Gordon (deadpan): I've known you for a fairly long time and I'm going to cut to the chase... when were you going to ever tell me that you're Bruce Wayne?

Batman (shocked): What? No ... No I'm not.

Gordon: Bruce, don't play dumb, I figured out you are the same person a while ago, but since you haven't 'trusted' me enough to tell and that is the third Robin, I felt it was necessary to remove this weird barrier you have. I'm not going to arrest you or anything, your secret is safe with me. I want an honest answer though, I promise nothing you say here will leave this roof.

Batman buried his head in his hands and let out a defeated groan. He didn't want to admit it, but at this point in his life he simply couldn't keep it secret.

Gordon: That confirmed it. I became suspicious after Barbara got shot. Jason Todd, your adopted son, turning out to be the Robin definitely verified it. Then CPS visited your place to investiage you about child abuse... that was fasinating because you looked panicked that day.

Batman (embarrassed): I can't believe this happening, right now.

Gordon: Hold on, I'm not done yet. The rest of Gotham bought the story that your adopted son somehow became Robin with a random guy who is Batman and you weren't Batman because "Why would someone like Bruce Wayne be Batman?" Freaking Gotham news, you're lucky that they're so believable.

Batman (serious): You're not going to tell anyone are you? I'm going through a lot at the moment.

Gordon patted Batman on the shoulder reassuringly.

Gordon: As I said, your secret will remain that. We've been through these couple of crazy years together, you were there for Barbara when she got shot, and I wasn't too hot about the fact that it was the Joker, but I got over it. You've never given me a reason to arrest you and I've learned to see as a friend. And much like when my daughter told me she's batgirl... I'm fine with it.

Batman remained silent, surprised that the police chief who he had known for over two decades was keeping his civilian identity secret.

Gordon (sincerely): You're my friend, don't worry about it.

Batman: Oh... you see us as friends too? I'm... You said that before, but huh, not really used to this, am I?

Gordon: I go through the same struggles. Do you want to go over the case with him in front of us or I don't know how to handle this, this is like your third Robin.

Gordon laughs as Batman groans embarrassed.

Batman: Yeah this kid is pretty smart so he can be listening in and circle back, Barbara told you she was Batgirl?!

Gordon: Oh yeah, but I figured it out a two years before she had told me. You guys got to remember, I'm a detective.

Batman: This might sound rude, but I did not think you were that good at your job, the police here are very corrupt.

Gordon (nods in agreement): Fair enough, let's head back to the kid and get this case started.

Gordon walked back over to Robin along with Batman. Batman looks dejected but Gordon pats him on the back to give him some type of sympathy.

First

Second

Damian has favorites

Damian absolutely has favorite siblings, he actually goes out of his way to rank them using a method that lets their rank change depending on several different factors.

The first time Dick saw the list he left Gotham for a week to cry because he wasn't even on it and thought Damian was somehow disowning him until Barbara dragged him back to Gotham and made them actually communicate (terrifying, I know.) (It turned out it was just as simple as Dick was that much of a dad to Damian that it genuinely didn't occur to him to lump him in with his siblings)

As of current, the list goes;

Duke

Stephanie

Cass

Jason

Tim

Jarro

The placement of Jason, Cass, Tim and Jarro changes based on what they've done for him that week, how often he's seen them, if they've upset Father or Richard, any failings vigilante-wise, and mainly the idea of 'If they saw this ranking, would I be embarrassed about it?'.

Duke and Steph are permanently in the top two spots, they spots only change depending on how much Damian has seen and talked to them that day.

Patroled with Duke but Steph took him out for milkshakes and to annoy Bruce? Number one spot goes to her.

Duke takes him out for a ride on his motorcycle during his lunch period at school? Number one spot goes to him.

It's very notable that the list dictates his behavior to his siblings. Whoever's in the top spot? He'll let them carry him as if he's a fucked up cat with barely a complaint if they want to. They earned that. Five and below? He is actively pouring sand into their beds.

Steph is vaguely aware of the list but honestly thinks she's near the bottom or something. Tim is hyper-aware of it but doesn't know what the criteria are and keeps getting really competitive trying to get into the top 2 at least once, and he keeps failing miserably.

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???

I lied. Put your clothes back on. We're going to talk about how Batman was not meant to be "vengeance" but "compassion", and how his character has been twisted through the decades that now people thinks he is supposed to be vengeance, which harms his character.

(See how here, Batman becomes a figure of vengeance from grieving Robin? Batman being vengeance is when he is at his lowest, like when Jason died, but he isn't supposed to be vengeance most of the time. Also, this is Dick.)

(And Alfred explaining Bruce is motivated by compassion not revenge.)

Local baby bat upset that he cant simple punch his way out of every situation ends up making some new friends

I just wanted to draw baby Diana and baby Clark so heres baby Bruce from that role swap au making some friends by getting beat up (full au guide here)