Bruce, Knowing Tim Went Out As RR When He Was Meant To Be Benched: Do You Have Something To Tell Me,

Dick: Happy Chrismis!

Damian: What is Happening.

Tim: Is Chrismimth.

Damian: what are you fools-

Steph: Merry Crisis!

Damian: Father, they have lost their minds.

[All four stare at Bruce expectantly]

Bruce, sighing: Merry Crysler.

I think we as a fandom really forget that Dick, and Tim are like super fucking Badass and scary.

Jason a bit too but overall everyone seems to get that the Red Hood the Overlord of Crime Alley makes people piss themselves.

Same with Damian people talk shit but overall the agreement is that Damian and Jason are scary as fuck.

But Dick has Broken bane beat the ever loving shit out of Slade Wilson he killed the fucking Joker. I do think he is doting Big brother but not in the I'll roll over and play dead type but in the you touch a hair on his fucking head and I will rip your throat out with my teeth.

Same with Tim we all love discussing the Red Robin 2009 comics but we make it like he's some sad idiot he was running missions calculating he took out the league of spiders he wasn't playing some Oh whoa is me bullshit he was kicking ass. He has contingencies that Batman is proud of.

If you think Bruce Wayne is scary well hold on meet the sons that are just fucking like him.

Like I need everyone to realize Tim and Dick are badasses and of characters didn't get nerfed so fucking hard it would be way more apparent.

If you take a step back and just look at their Training Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are some of the best fighters in the DC universe it's not crazy to say they kick this villains ass or they can do this.

I see a whole lot of arrguments like oh they can't do this or whatever these are Batman's heirs trained to be the very best by him and others. They are standing on par with some of the scariest motherfuckers in the world.

Like put some respect on the Robin name it's certainly earned it.

*Also do you know the balls it takes to punch Batman in the face and then sit at his kitchen table and eat his food or spend his money after telling him to essentially go fuck himself. Like that is their Dad they are his kids.

Like my Dad's Batman but Also my Kid is the fucking Nightwing.

batman comic arcs are so mindlessly dark all the time. “the killing joke” “death in the family” “batman’s grave” how about “batman has a nice fucking day for once” huh? “batman chills the fuck out and spends some time with his kids” “batman and the relaxing picnic” “batman has a really good cup of tea and its not poisoned or drugged because he’s been stressed lately” huh???? what about that, assholes.

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).

Imagine being Alfred during Batman Begins when Bruce leaves to “find himself.” Alfred is worried, but reminds himself that all rich men do this and he’s probably just going to come back as a worldly, obnoxious vegetarian. Then Bruce shows up several years later buff as hell and it’s like no, he’s a ninja. he’s a ninja and he wants to terrorize Gotham in a bat costume.

Yes, yes he is

soundwave superior ai artists inferior

youtube content in the dc universe

sequel

switcheroo part 2 electric boogaloo (soundwave edition)

for those of you who were wondering, yes soundwave is still the most loyal hes just a flamboyant conniving megalomaniac, and yes starscream is still traitorous hes just calculating and methodical and very very patient

part 3

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-

Tim: No returns.

Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad…