Dick: So, You Know How I’m Part Of An Online Circus?

Fun BatThought of The Day

Because Bruce sometimes reverts to ‘Caveman Mode’ and really only the Batfam speaks fluent ‘monotone Batman grunt’ sometimes they like to overreact or exaggerate just to see if Bruce will correct them.

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At JL meeting: *Green Lantern says something about a report*

Batman: Hn

Robin!Dick: Woah, B! Don’t use that kind of language! Relax, I’m sure GL didn’t mean it!

Hal: What, what’s happening, What’d he say? What’d I say?

Batman: Hn

Robin: *scandalized* BATMAN!

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Okay so I’m actually insane about lycanwing Hiccup. I imagine he gets distracted by shiny objects and then gets embarrassed when people point it out

Batman Begins Deleted Scene

Ra's: Bruce Wayne, you have completed your training and are ready to join us. Ra's: But first, you must demonstrate your commitment to justice by killing this prisoner. Bruce: No. I'm no executioner. Ra's: ... Ra's: Sir, this is the League of Assassins, what did you think we do here?

Superman, trying to befriend Batman: If not friend, why friend shaped?

Literally everyone else, looking at Batman's costume, designed to be menacing and incite fear: He is NOT friend shaped!!

Would you ever expand upon your joker junior thoughts more? I think that was such a well written idea and would love to hear what else you think about it

Oh my god yes. 100000% YES!

That post before was more of an idea vomit, didn’t cover all of what I thought, so I’m happy to hear someone wants to hear more.

So, JJ’s always been a tough convo for Tim. Obviously. But it’s not just because of how traumatizing the Joker can be, or about the shocks and psychological torture. It also reminds him of a grim time in his life. With Bruce still going through the motions post-Jason’s death, and Dick frequently spending all his time in Bludhaven, he hadn’t been watched much. Save for Babs, ofc.

That’s actually why they’re so close. She’s much more emotionally competent thanks to her dad, lol.

JJ wasn’t only a big thing for Tim, but for Gotham too. In a place like this, it wasn’t hard for whispers from the Joker’s men to travel to civilians and cops. Everyone knew why Robin was nowhere to be seen. Everyone knew why Batgirl looked the way she did, agitated and worried. Everyone knew why the cops searched that same warehouse over and over, never allowing anyone inside.

Which was also why no one was happy to see Nightwing, very obviously the first Robin, return after yet another sabbatical in Bludhaven. Of course, that stopped a little after everyone collectively realized that, oh crap, he doesn’t even know!

This begins a collective effort by the more clear-minded people of Gotham to NOT disclose anything JJ related. There has to be a reason, right? No way were they going to force Robin #3 to disclose anything he didn’t wait to. It didn’t hurt that a year or two later, a mysterious figure named Oracle began effectively making every news article or picture related to JJ disappear.

Everyone holds their breaths for the next few months. What if what happened to the second Robin happened to him? What if he was too crippled to go back out?

As the Batfamily grows bigger, it becomes way clearer that Robin #3 hasn’t said a WORD. Not even after they grow closer, when the screaming and murder attempts and arguments cease. He doesn’t say a word, so no one else does either.

Tim goes to great lengths to medicate himself against any variant of Joker venom or gas. The familiar smells just… bring things back to the surface.

He tries not to act like Jason whenever the Joker gets out of Arkham. It’s already hard for everyone to hold him back from killing the monster. Jason doesn’t need some second-rate copy of his trauma trying to get sympathy. Unlike Jason, he didn’t die. He didn’t come back differently, or lose footing on his life, his job, whatever.

It would just be better if Tim acted as aloof and concentrated as he always did. Not make a big scene, and follow Batman’s orders to a T. No need to worry anyone.

Honestly, the only reason no one notices the literal war going on in this boy’s head is because he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

Oh, and if you’re wondering what he says when one of the bats finds him the next night, still avoiding them…

Yeah, he full on denies EVERYTHING. Looks whoever it is, Jason, Steph, Dick, straight in the eye and says that what they saw was fake. Edited. Something to threaten Bruce with years ago. Tim just ran because…because…Anyway, he’s fine. Don’t worry about Tim Drake. He’s fine.

Babs groans over the comms when everyone hounds on her to tell them everything. Like hell is she gonna tell them a single thing until she has Tim’s full permission.

I can see this happening tbh

Batman has a very specific code that's on everyone's communicator that he warns the JL to 'Never tap into it unless I'm indisposed and the world is 2 seconds away from ending'

Fast forward a few years and batman is knocked out cold and the world is 2 seconds away from ending when one JL member rmbers batman's 'very important do not tap unless absolutely necessary' button

So obviously the JL taps it expecting some god or smth and who else picks up but a woman who's simultaneously yelling commands,tapping aggressively at what they assume to be a keyboard and calmly telling them that she's Oracle,that she's already linked every person on the battlefield's comms to the 'batfamily comms'(direct wording) and that she's sending reinforcements as they speak

Then,while the JL is still in shock,Red Hood the fucking drug lord lands beside them and starts shooting up enemies,Nightwing is futher back backflipping,Red Robin is doing his shit

A mysterious black cowled girl pops up beside them and starts gently telling(ordering) them to specific parts of the battlefield(Hal gets so spooked he screams),a fully purple girl is beating enemies up next to them,a guy in neon yellow is punting enemies to the ground.

And some random ass 10 y/o is screaming bloody murder as he incapcitates enemies thrice his size

Meet the Wayne Family :)

More Meet the Waynes 👇

Yes, yes he is

soundwave superior ai artists inferior

Gordon meeting the 1st Robin

Batman: Commissioner Gordon, I'm here.

Gordon: Finally—

Gordon noticed the young black-haired boy next to Batman, dressed in a bright and colorful hero suit.

Gordon (pointing at the kid): Who's that?

Batman: The child next to me?

Gordon: No, the Bat-Signal. Yes, I mean the kid!

Batman looked down at his Robin, who is mesmerized by the bright lights of the Bat-Signal. Batman turned his to face Gordon.

Robin (waving): Hi!

Gordon (slightly concerned): Hey, little kid. Oh, you're so cute. I'm just going to talk to your guardian for a second.

Gordon looked directly into Batman's eyes with a judgmental stare.

Batman (unaware how odd this looks): What? Is it the costume I gave him because that was his idea.

Gordon: Oddly enough, that's not my issue; he looks adorable in it.

Robin smiled while swaying back and forth.

Robin: Awww, thank you!

Gordon (frowning): Batman, I can forgive you for many things. The numerous parking tickets that you haven't paid for your Batmobile, the fact that I had to install a giant Bat-Signal on the building and you have not paid me the rest of the money for that yet, and even the time that you hit a fire hydrant and left a note saying ‘sorry'.

Batman (interrupting): I am sorry about that, by the way.

Gordon: Doesn't fix the fact that you haven't paid me for that either! Not the point, why is there a precious child next to you?

Batman: Well... I have a sidekick now.

Gordon: You have a seven-year-old!

Robin (offended): Hey, I am 8!

Robin held up both hands with four fingers on each of them.

Batman: He's 8 and an orphan. Not as weird.

Gordon took a deep breath, trying to accept that this is reality.

Gordon: I should not have to explain to you how that is not better! That's infinitely weirder, not going to lie.

Batman (hiding his embarrassment over his bad wording): I am now becoming aware of how this looks, but he is legally adopted by me. That is all you need to know.

Gordon (taking a deep breath): I have so many follow-up questions, and as a cop, I need you to answer a few of them. I won't be mad if they don't lead me to arresting you because I do kind of like you.

Batman (taken back): Oh... Thanks. Do I have to tell you, though?

Gordon (sternly): Yes.

Batman (relenting): I didn't kidnap him. I legally adopted him after his parents died, through no fault of my own—I realize how weird that sounds, but it's true. I took the kid in, and he's my... son—ch—wa-sidekick! Yes. It's not weird! It's not. He just needed a home. He's a good fighter too. Right, Robin?

Robin (confidently): I can do flips and tricks!

Batman: Yes, he can do flips and tricks. I like him so far; he’s... he’s neat.

Batman patted Robin on the head. Robin smiled giggling.

Gordon (smiling softly): Aww... Dang it, that is cute. Just don't get him hurt, okay?

Batman (sheepishly): Mm hm... Definitely did not have to deal with him getting eaten by a Venus flytrap. Twice. Yeah, we dealt with Poison Ivy earlier this week.

Gordon removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes in frustration.

Gordon: Right... He's walking across the edge of the building, by the way.

Batman (not turning around): Yep, he has a lot of energy.

Robin: This is awesome!

Batman spotted the child flipping on the ledge effortlessly. The new father groaned.

Batman (monotone): I'll go get him.

Batman reached out to grab Robin, but the lively young boy leaped off the ledge and darted away, laughter trailing behind him. Gordon observed the scene in confusion as the normally reserved Batman sprinted after his mischievous youthful partner.

Gordon (wistful): My kid is hyper like that... I hope she got her milk tonight.

Gordon wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.

Batman (trying to grab his son): Robin, stop running!

Robin: No!

Batman: Dang it, child! Stop!

Robin: No! I want to play!

Batman: The night of patrolling isn't over yet.

Robin: I'm hungry!

Batman: I got you McDonald's earlier!

Robin (demanding): I want more McDonald's!

Gordon (chuckling): You get used to it. Tell him you'll punish him if he doesn't listen.

Batman stopped running, realizing that this could work.

Batman (sternly): Robin, if you don't stop running, I will make sure you have no cookies for dessert at dinner tomorrow!

Robin stopped running, huffed, and went back to Batman's side. The little hero crossed his arms, pouting.

Batman: Thank you, kiddo.

Batman patted the boy on the head again. Robin giggled and hugged the man's waist, surprising the adult hero.

Gordon (smiling): Okay... I'm not too worried about this anymore.

Second Robin

Third Robin

Okay hear me out. Batfamily, ugly Christmas sweater addition.

Bruce Wayne:

No doubt in my mind his children forced him into it. As soon as Dick mentioned wearing ugly sweaters on Christmas Day he found this monstrosity sitting in his closet. He chucked it out. He forgot about it. The next week it was back. He threw it out again. Two days passed. It was back. He tried shredding it, burning it, burying it in the backyard. It reappeared each time. Needless to say, it was still there on Christmas and he reluctantly wore it to the delight of everybody.

Jason Todd:

He wanted absolutely nothing to do with what Dick had planned… at first. Then he realised it was a great opportunity to piss Bruce off. Funny enough, it didn’t work as he hoped as Bruce was just happy he was there.

Tim Drake:

Wanted nothing to do with it and still wants nothing to do with it. Chose the first thing on the rack. Would’ve given Young Justice the chance to chose he sweater but he doesn’t trust them to NOT get him something horrendous.

Dick Grayson:

Planned this whole thing just to wear this monstrosity he found while doom scrolling on Instagram reels (he has adhd and is a millennial, he sure as hell isn’t on TikTok BUT dopamine go brrr). His siblings hate him. He loves it.

Damian Wayne:

This boy FOUGHT like one of those cats being forced into a costume. He clawed and begged and weaponised crying. Dick cackled at him until he had it on. He stayed on Dicks shoulders for the rest of the night. They did not talk for a month after.

He will stab anyone who brings it up.

Stephanie Brown:

Okay picture this in hot pink. She immediately locks onto some sort of meme when Dick mentions ugly sweaters. She finds this ugly ass sweater and steals Bruce’s credit card to get it.

Cassandra Cain:

Stephanie immediately calls Cass with plans. She happily agrees. She helps Steph steal Bruce’s credit card and proudly pulls Steph around to show the whole family their matching sweaters. A photo of them recreating the meme with their matching sweaters spreads around the web for at least a week.

Barbra Gordon:

Along with this sweater, Barbs places a USB stick containing a compilation of epic patrol failures in each of the Bat’s Christmas stockings. She wants to keep them on their toes (and adequately afraid of her). It is effective.

Duke Thomas:

Same vain as Steph. Instantly clocked in on memes and found this bad boy. Shows up with yellow temporary dye on his hair and old-lady sunglasses from the dollar store. Whenever he faces the slightest inconvenience he asks to speak to the manager. It becomes a bit where the manager changes each time and becomes crazier than the last.

Alfred Pennyworth:

Motherfucker would not wear a ugly sweater no matter how much the children begged. And the children did beg (Damian had to pull out the puppy dog eyes for this one). Jason was actually the fucker who made him cave pulling out all the stops, “it’s my first Christmas with everyone since I… you know.”, “it would be nice to have something special to remember it you know?”, “I remember my first Christmas in the manor. I just want to feel that happy again.”

Jason comes prepared with the sweater and Alfred knows he’s lost (but he doesn’t really seem to mind when he sees all the smiling faces on Christmas Day).