Batman Being Aggressively Secretive Towards The Justice League Is One Of My Favorite Tropes, But It Gets

They'll be fiiine

Dick: Rule number one: do not go off on your own.

Dick: Rule number two: if you do go off on your own, do not go in the woods.

Dick: Rule number three: if you do go into the woods, never, ever, EVER make out in the woods, or you will DIE in the woods...

Kory:

Dick: Where are Roy and Jason?

Kory: Breaking rules one, two, and three.

This is how this would happen, Jason especially

Tim accidently referring to the Joker as Dad but those who know about Joker Jr aren’t present and so everyone is left with the ‘realisation’ that Tim is the son of the biggest nightmare to their family.

It’s probably Jason and Steph, her there to bother Tim but Jason went to the manor for food and the two naturally started arguing. Maybe Jason tells Tim to stop costing on his case and prove a point be made against blonde, but Tim just offhandedly goes, “Later, I think my dad broke out of Arkham again but the guards aren’t doing anything. Maybe they’re in on it…”

The two present naturally look at each other with confusion and for the first time stop bickering to peak over his shoulder and see what his case is because, holy shit Tim had a villain for a dad and didn’t tell us? Only to see numerous photos of the Joker in his cell and many reports over the last week of how he’s been behaving and Jason…

Steph pushes the man out of the room when she sees his face go from frozen fear to anger, thinking it’s towards Tim and his secrecy and, while she totally gets that, now isn’t the time.

Though when they get into the Jason starts a rant about how Bruce and Dick should have told him that the monster had a child, even if that child wasn’t Tim! Jason protects kids! Did they think he’d hurt him just because of who his father is?

No!

If anything, he’d become the kids full time body guard to stop that mad man from making Tim into another version of himself!

The two naturally go to tell the others, pulling Damian, Cass and Duke into a mostly unused room and telling them what they discovered, all while Tim stays in the library working on his case.

Cass is beyond worried but also confused because he doesn’t seem to have any physical characteristics of the Joker or Harley, but maybe the mother is different? Perhaps it’s still Janet and either she had a fling with the Joker or something far worse, which makes the young girl enraged on the woman’s behalf.

Damian makes a comment about him killing Tim, not in a serious manner but more as an option, but Duke shuts it down, saying that having a villain for a parent doesn’t mean anything about who you will be. He points out those in the family of that nature and other heroes like Superboy.

When asked why they didn’t get Dick or Babs involved, Jason says they defiantly know and lied about it.

It’s only after another three hours of working that Tim catches himself referring to the Joker as dad and shuts his laptop, making his way to Bruce’s room to hide under the older man’s bed like he usually does when that happens, only to overhear what his siblings are saying.

Tim presses his ear against the door to hear better.

“If that maniac had a kid, surely he’d have told everyone he had an heir or something.” That’s Steph’s voice, filled with worry that only he and Cass could detect as she hides it under a whiney tone.

Jason is next to respond, “maybe he doesn’t know? I mean, did Tim ever even interacted with him before he became Robin?”

It doesn’t take much more than that for Tim to realise that he must have been talking aloud again or absently answered someone earlier and misspoke in front of them.

Panic fills him as he avoids telling Bruce when he gets bad, even if it’s just a small thing, because the older man will start of being a concerned parent then go into Batman mode and only just stop himself from putting Tim in the confinement cell. Sure Tim came up with the idea of the cell so he wouldn’t hurt anyone if his conditioning got too bad, but he’s learnt the signs. He’s not a mindless drone, he still knows who he is and doesn’t hear someone talking to him or anything like that.

He just… sometimes forgets the Joker hurt him.

It’s not Tim’s fault that memories of watching TV with him and Harley, tucked between them with a big bowl of ice cream felt better than most memories of his real parents.

But he knows it’s wrong, always comes back to calling the Joker his enemy.

Bruce just doesn’t get that.

Tim hears them talk a bit more, theories about who his mother might be, if Tim is safe at the manor, if Joker knows he has a son…

Opening the door, Tim stands there and stares at them as all eyes snap to him in alarm.

He doesn’t let anybody speak, cutting them all off quickly, “He’s not my dad. Go the cave and search for file number 26557933301-JJ and put in the code AGELAST, all caps.”

With that he turns and leaves, walking at first before running to Bruce’s room to hide.

He goes to family dinner and pretends not to notice the quietness or how Jason is still there, eating his food quietly and waiting for the ball to drop.

Naturally, Damian is the one to say what he wants first, “So why is okay that Tim shot the joker but I got in trouble for stabbing Bane?”

Everyone groans.

”Soundwave put a gag on that one” “Soundwave read that guy’s mind” “Soundwa—“ I KNOW they drive him crazy the way he’s the only competent one, wouldn’t be surprised if the rest of the high guard often goes to him for most problems (esp when they’re like “I TOLD you it wasn’t tight enough” or “that just means he believes himself” y’all omg then don’t tell him to do stuff if you’re just gonna say he did it wrong 😭)

And so this is how Soundwave copes with the stress

Shockwave somewhere off in the corner with starscream watching this personality swap unfold that he caused somehow

HOLD ON. YOU’RE RIGJT. SHOCKWAVE DEFINITELY CAUSED ALL OF THIS

you inspired me to make this comic why is this becoming an actual au why does this stupid blucking au have lore I’m going to cry

-Bat chat-

Red Robin: "good argument, but have you considered the following?"

RR: *sends cat video by mistake*

Red Hood: "what does that have to do with anything?"

Robin: "no no, he's got a point"

Oracle: "he got you there, Jay"

RH: "this is a private chat"

O: "yeah, on my servers"

RR: "???"

[Dick’s Teen Titans era]

Donna: Gonna have to wash this blanket to get rid of that new smell.

Kory: *makes a note that humans prefer to mark objects with familiar scents*

—

Wally: Gotta love that new car smell.

Kory: *scratches out previous note and replaces it with a question mark*

—

Roy: Old books smell so good.

Kory: *increasingly frustrated note taking*

—

Dick: Mmm love that new book smell.

Kory: WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?

Some more baby Bruce role swap au click here for the full au guide

Bruce walks into the kitchen one day at breakfast and sticks a golden star right on Dick’s forehead.

Silence overtakes all of his kids as they stare incredulously because what the actual fuck??

“B?” Dick questioned warily, going crossed eyed as he tried to stare at the star in his forehead.

“Congratulations Dickie, you have successfully made only five death threats to individuals this entire week.” Bruce said solemnly, patting Dick on the head before turning to face his other children.

“Unfortunately, I will not be giving out any more gold stars.” Bruce’s eyes gazed at his children, particularly staying on Jason and Damian for a second longer than anyone else’s.

“Wha-? What about me??” Duke protested, throwing down his fork, a small splatter of syrup splashing onto the new wood varnish.

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “Duke, I’m Batman.”

“Right.” Duke muttered, slumping back down in his chair. “Stupid pickpocketers, next time I’ll make sure they can’t squeal.”

“Father! I demand a recount!” Damian’s chair squeaked loudly as he shot up from it, his small face set in a stubborn frown so similar to Bruce’s. “Grayson made two death threats to thugs on patrol yesterday.”

“Fucking tattle tale!” Duck hissed, grabbing his forehead and scampering away from Bruce, just in case he tried to take away his good star.

Bruce nodded and looked thoughtful. “Hmm, seven death threats… I’ll allow it. However, seven has become the cap in order to get a gold star.”

“One for everyday of the week!” Jason grinned, his eyes zeroing in on a barely awake Tim. “And since I’m long past the threshold…” Bruce slapped him on the back of the head, making him curse.

Cass tugs on Bruce’s sleeve and points to herself, the silent question very loud. “No Cass, your whole existence is a threat but also Stephanie likes to talk.”

Cass clicks her tongue and sits back down, phone already in hand, probably texting Stephanie about her betrayal.

“Looks like Dick is winning.” Bruce stated, suppressing a smirk as all of his kids heads whipped around and stared at him. Of course they would take the bait, there were as competitive as he was.

Even Tim now looked mostly aware of what was happening.

“It’s a new week, good luck.” Bruce nodded, walking out of the dining room, a grin breaking out across his face as the room erupted with noise.

Don’t get me wrong I love the Tim drake tells his family about his trauma with out thinking to hard about it and them freaking out that’s great I love that hilarious BUT have you considered the hilarity of Tim Deliberately Hiding it from his family and the shenanigans he has to pull to keep them from finding out?

Que Tim drake trying to drink his coffee before Bruce comes to pick him up for lunch when suddenly one of Ra’s assassins come from the shadows to try to kidnap him and while Tim is trying to fight him he hears the alert that Bruce’s car pulled up his eyes widen as he shoves the assassin into the closet before Bruce can see and telling him to shut the fuck up for both of their sakes the assassin is so confused he just goes along with it

When Bruce comes in and see’s Tim’s ruffled shirt A broken vase in the hall and someone very clearly in the closet he chooses to ignore it because he REALLY does not want to know about his sons sex life

Red Robin gets stabbed mid patrol and has to pretend he’s worried about blood loss but actually he is annoyed because it was a rusty pipe so he KNOWS it’s gonna get infected and he does not wanna deal with that but can’t say that because then his family will know he doesn’t have a spleen

When a new supervillain comes around and starts cloning people Tim is the one who has the most information on how to catch him because of when he tried to clone Kon but only he and dick know this dick was obviously gonna bring this up so Tim could help on the case but it was also like 2:30 and he hadn’t slept in days so he decided to take a nap first only to be woken up by a shadow holding a hand over his mouth he nearly broke Tim’s jaw because of how bad he scared him and when dick asked him what the hell he was thinking Tim said to keep what happened with Kon to himself or else… the case was solved two days afterwards and dick kept his mouth shut but he had a new found fear for his little brother whom he loved (and feared) so much

There are many more fun instances that I am not creative enough to come up with so PLEASE feel free to add on

My concept for Al ghuls in the caped crusader would be this

Image its them first discovering the Lazarus pit and the beginning of the league of assassins he’s actually normal age because it takes place in the 40,s