I have an obsession with Batfam meets the Justice League fics and headcanons in general, and my favorite situation is when the JL fully knows Nightwing, he's on the team, they all like him quite a bit, and he's so charming and open seeming that they all collectively forget that they don't know anything about him.
I want that, then on a mission, fighting a magic user of some sort, Nightwing gets zapped back to young Robin age. So everyone else on said mission is left confronted with 9 year old Dick Grayson in full Robin gear, who is fully ready to fight every single one of them, and they generally have no idea what's happening or who this child is, other than the fact that he's probably young Nightwing, except he won't answer to that name.
And Dick, extremely confused and suspicious because he doesn't know half of the people there, and the ones that he is aware of are wearing different costumes or are just straight up different people than they're supposed to be, proceeds to try and fight them, then actively try to run away.
Then they finally manage to wrangle him back to the Watchtower, trying to grapple with the implications that Nightwing has been a highly trained, costume vigilante since childhood, and managed to break a bone in Green Arrow's hand before they subdued him, and is still thrashing around and trying to bite various League members.
They call Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman in to see if they have any idea what to do with him, and when Robin sees Batman, he squirms out of Flash's grasp, runs to Batman, and climbs up his side until he's wrapped himself around his shoulders like he does it every day.
The Bat lets this happen, sighs in exasperation, then calls Zatanna to help.
The League is then left to piece together why tiny child Nightwing ran to Batman for safety, and why Batman seems a whole lot less confused than everyone else.
Loved this fic
For the first, we're doing Jason Take the Wheel by Miss_Lazy_Tuesday, genuinely one of the funniest things ever and I adore it so so much!
Be prepared for:
Crack
Some feels
Don't worry, there's crack to cover up the feels
Shenanigans
Explosions
AU where Jason, Cass and Damian meet in the League and cause so much chaos that a burnt out Ra's just dropped them with a note
"Two of them are yours the third one is free"
And Bruce rolls with it
wayne family adventures + text posts: batman edition
its my bisexual right to make superbat and batcat jokes in the same post. btw.
(batkids edition)
+bonus alfred (tw suicide joke)
When tf did THIS happen?
YOOOOO!!!! TERRIFICS!!! ZERO YEAR BATMAN!!! YEAR ONE BARRY!?!? BATMAN BEYOND!!!!! BOY THUNDER!?!? ZERO HOUR AQUAMAN!!! ABIN SUR!?!? “ WE ARE YESTERDAY” CANT COME SOONER
I wonder what the batfam's reactions would be if the joker escapes wherever they sent him to, finds Tim on patrol and was like "Long time no see JJ," and then going on about how he should come home with him back to arkham and he'll help him "recover" and are trying to get to Tim's location as fast as they can while listening in on comms?
This was actually a scenario I thought of the day I found out about JJ. I feel like after what happened, Tim would do the opposite of what Jason would and has done. Instead of going to find the Joker, he would stay as far away from him or even his goons as possible. It would be like the third Robin and the Joker had no history, nothing to tie them together(which probably made Jason angry at some point).
So when he breaks out of Arkham(AGAIN, jesus), Tim, Babs, and Bruce don’t waste a minute before bringing up that Tim has another case he has to work on that is of the “upmost importance”. It’s actually just a 12 year old homicide cold case that he solved a month ago but no one has to know that. Jim knows to sweep that under the rug when RR comes by with the same exact evidence he came with a month ago.
But Lady Luck has never been on Tim’s side. The rest of the bats quickly lose track of the Joker. Babs manages to find him, but by that point, it’s too late.
Joker finds him. And he recognizes him. Underneath the new name, costume, and styled hair, Joker finds his “son”.
As you can imagine, he’s over the moon. But he’s also just as angry.
“Junior! You don’t call, you don’t text, you don’t send out an email. What’s a pop got to do to get their son to notice them?”
“I’m not your son.”
“Not with that hair you’re not. Your skin’s not how I left it at all! And what happened to that beautiful smile of yours? Did the bat ruin that too?”
Tim doesn’t take jabs about his smile well. This is why. And it gets under his skin that even after using so much foundation and concealer, the Joker can still see the remnants of smile lines along his cheeks.
“You’ve been avoiding me, Junior. You know papa doesn’t like being ignored.“
“You’re not my dad.”
“Ha! Who is then? Certainly not the old bat. Anyhow, this isn’t about him. It’s been so long, kiddo. Why don’t we stop by the old warehouse and have a chat. Maybe even pick up Mama while we’re at it.”
“Harley would rather die than go with you, and I’m not following you anywhere. Batman already has your location.”
That brushes the smile off the freak’s face. The expression he has on now is sickly reminiscent of how he was when he, Tim, and Harley played family years ago. It’s not a look he gives to other people. No one else has seen it, so they might think Tim a liar. But he can’t deny the parental disappointment in the man’s eyes.
“I know they don’t know.”
Now that. That really gets to him.
“None of your business.”
“It it, but you’re welcome to deny it. I believe it’s just the old bat, the beat up cop, and Ms. Gordon, correct? Not even the first Robin! Ha! I wonder what the second bird would think. Not to mention the girls! Oh! And we can’t forget about little old Signal.”
Tim doesn’t need him to tell him. He’s gone over the scenario so many times it drives him mad. What each of them would say. What he could do to make them think differently. What he would have to do if they found out. Where he could run to. It never gets easier.
Joker is trying to scare him. That’s the only conclusion he definitively has. And aside from his general psychotic tendencies, he genuinely believes he and Tim are family.
By the time Batman arrives with the GCPD, the Joker is tied and ready for extraction. But the villain’s smile is no less fear-inducing.
“You know I’m right, my boy,” he says as he’s take into the back of a truck.
“They’ll never look at you the same way again.”
It’s only when everything is over that Tim takes the time to look over his gear that he finds his mistake. One that the Joker knew about. One that he exploited.
When he shut off the comms, he didn’t shut them off. In his delirium over his past, instead of closing them off, he muted them. While he couldn’t hear any of their chatter, they definitely heard his. And he didn’t send Babs his acceptance to shut his comms off, something she couldn’t do without express permission.
So when he unmuted the comms, you can only imagine what he heard.
When Sparkplug let it slip that she was a princess and also the daughter of one of the most notorious war mongers in history… Slipstream tried as hard as she could to get onto Sparks’s good side. Thankfully Sparkplug eventually found Slip charming in a way, and they eventually formed a strong friendship, breaking trends of the past.
Bee or King Vespae is trying his best to be taken seriously. However most people still see him as prince bumblebee, the little guy that would hide under his father’s cape, the same guy who’s still asking his mother to help him run things. Even as he tries to stay serious, figures from his past show up to make his job harder.
Jason, tapping his chin in thought: Right, so, Plasmius, super rich guy who wants to adopt you.
Danny: No, no, he also wants to fuck my mom. That's…EUGH DUDE. Like- that's my mom. No I don't care about how he wanted her since college that's still super gross.
Jason: How has he not moved on? Your mom has a whole kid.
Danny: A whole two kids. And a husband of over ten years.
Jason: Oh yikes.
Danny, nodding emphatically: Big Yikes. And he has this whole one sided beef with my dad cause he has everything Plasmius has ever wanted and like honestly I dont give a fuck because in the timeline he does get with my mom - which Ew - he's a lying bastard and my ma isn't completely happy with him.
Jason:...Other timeline?
Danny, waving his hand in a nonchalant manner: Vlad - who's Plasmius by the way - gave my friends fatal ecto-acne because he was having a ghostly acne flare up and basically said ‘find a cure or they'll die too’ and so I went back in time to figure some shit out and I kinda shifted things to the left and in the lab accident that gave Vlad ecto-acne it gave my dad ecto-acne instead of Vlad and then my dads life went to ruin but I fixed it by fixing the timeline so I mean everythings fine. Mostly.
Jason: what, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck.
Anyways, thinking about Batman pulling his disappearing act on the GCPD rooftop for the first time after partnering with Robin, and just leaving Robin behind.
Gordon turns around, notices that Batman is gone but the kid is not. Then Robin notices that Batman is gone, and promptly burst into tears because, “He left me! He left me behind!”
Jim Gordon is not heartless and he’s a father, he takes the kid into the precinct. He gives him a blanket and a snack. He tries to calm him down and asks if he knows a phone number that he could call for Batman. He gets a wobbly, “He doesn’t have a phone.”
Jim steps out of his office for a second to speak with an officer about turning the bat signal back on, and when he gets back to his office the kid is gone. The crime scene photos and forensic report from the joker attack yesterday are also gone from his office.
Meanwhile Robin is standing in the alley behind the GCPD, waving as Batman grapples down to meet him. He gives him a big smile and says, “I got the evidence!”
“Good job, Chum.”
These look awesome!
I can imagine anything, so I made up my own continuity featuring my fav autobot scientists as the protagonists ! I mostly just wanted my favorite guys to get up to some goofy fun hijinks
Gotham based goons definitely blame all their mishaps on the Bats.
Lost a shipment? "Yeah boss, Red Robin came outta nowhere, confiscated all of it."
Someone's cigarette caused a warehouse fire? "Batgirl dropped by and torched the joint."
Fell asleep while on guard duty? "Batman punched the daylights out of me."
Accidentally went to the wrong location and the buyer got arrested? "Bats were chasing the car boss, I figured I'd prioritize the product."
Killed a partner in crime? "Red Hood got him, sorry."