On Christmas Eve Cass Steph And Dick All Break Into Tim’s Apartment To Bring (kidnap) Him To The Manor

// There is a STARK contrast between how the lot of you talk to Gordon and im gonna go insane in a good way

Tim couldn't make it he was in Paris also not in the group chat

nightwing being hurt in the field, and over comms he can’t get out what was wrong, nearly in shock, and jason puts on his best batman™️ voice and says “robin, report.”

and it snaps dick out of it enough to say concussion, possible broken ribs, and a gash in his side.

no one talks about it, and then a year later, damian does the same thing to tim

Ok but like- imagine Bruce Wayne deciding to become Batman at like mother fucking 15??? It would be the dumbest fucking thing ever

Imagine, Bruce after returning from patrol:

Alfred: master Bruce…homework

Bruce: I don’t need homework! Im Batman!

Alfred: Even Batman needs to do his homework!

Bruce: Hmp! *locks himself in his room and blasts my chemical romance on his speakers* nobody understands me…

Year of the Dragon!

Imagine for me please Gothamites mocking Batman because sure he’s their ‘savior’ and all, but he’s also one of them and it’s been a few years since he’s become Batman so he’s well known and just- Batman: *growling* go home! Teenager:… gO hOmE~ like what are you? My dad? Batman:… Teenager:… I’m kidding please don’t adopt me - Batman: I am vengeance. I am the night. I am Batman.  Gothamite: ~I aM vEngeAnCE~ like do you practice that in the mirror? Batman:…  - Batman: don’t sell drugs to students Drug dealer: doN’T sElL dRuGs tO stUdeNtS- please as if you didn’t need drugs to live in college  Batman:… Batman:… just… not too much Drug dealer: *scoffs* of course not dude I don’t want them overdosing we need more smart people who don’t want to kill everyone- plus if they die I lose a customer Batman:… good to know

Teenager: *walking home from school, drops books* Batman: *watching from a nearby roof* damn that sucks Teenager:... Batman: Teenager: *grumbles as they bend down to grab stuff* Batman: stay in school! Teenager: *flips him off* ~ Visitor from Metropolis: ugh omggg this city is soooo grosss! its because none of you have superman! all you have is that wannabe furry Batman! Gothamite:... *looks up and spots Batman* yeah you right Batman: fuck you! Gothamite: *grins and flips him off* Batman: *leaves* Gothamite: *beats the shit out of the Metropolian for saying something as blasphemous as that* ~ Gotham citizen: ugh i got my hair all done and no one notice- Batman: *from above* ohhh emmm GGGGG that sucksssss Citizen:.... Batman: :) Gothamite:.. no one asked you you furry black hotpocket Batman: :( ~

Bruce's kids are all agents of chaos in different ways, the poor poor man

Bruce Wayne gets invited to the Ellen show. When he’s supposed to come out from backstage, a bunch of kids come running out instead, fighting to come out first. Damian is being dragged by Jason’s leg. Jason is holding Tim back by the hair. Dick tries to split everyone up. Babs is awkwardly waving at the camera. Steph joins in to try and set Tim free by climbing on to Jason. Cass is already sitting down in the sofa next to Ellen. Duke is silently patting Bruce on the back, still backstage.

Jason sometimes in Lost Days, probably: Oh no

Talia: hmm? What's wrong?

Jason: I have PTSD

Talia: Wow, that's insightful. You're learning-

Jason: Don't worry I have a plan!

Talia: ... Let's hear it.

Jason: Did you know exposure therapy worked wonders on ptsd? Do you know an explosive specialist? Also I'm gonna call myself Red Hood from now on! And confront Batman and the Joker with a gun in a warehouse rigged with a bomb! I'm a genius!

Talia: ...

Jason: I'm gonna fix myself so easily!

Narrator Voice: He did not, in fact, "fix himself".

Damian has favorites

Damian absolutely has favorite siblings, he actually goes out of his way to rank them using a method that lets their rank change depending on several different factors.

The first time Dick saw the list he left Gotham for a week to cry because he wasn't even on it and thought Damian was somehow disowning him until Barbara dragged him back to Gotham and made them actually communicate (terrifying, I know.) (It turned out it was just as simple as Dick was that much of a dad to Damian that it genuinely didn't occur to him to lump him in with his siblings)

As of current, the list goes;

Duke

Stephanie

Cass

Jason

Tim

Jarro

The placement of Jason, Cass, Tim and Jarro changes based on what they've done for him that week, how often he's seen them, if they've upset Father or Richard, any failings vigilante-wise, and mainly the idea of 'If they saw this ranking, would I be embarrassed about it?'.

Duke and Steph are permanently in the top two spots, they spots only change depending on how much Damian has seen and talked to them that day.

Patroled with Duke but Steph took him out for milkshakes and to annoy Bruce? Number one spot goes to her.

Duke takes him out for a ride on his motorcycle during his lunch period at school? Number one spot goes to him.

It's very notable that the list dictates his behavior to his siblings. Whoever's in the top spot? He'll let them carry him as if he's a fucked up cat with barely a complaint if they want to. They earned that. Five and below? He is actively pouring sand into their beds.

Steph is vaguely aware of the list but honestly thinks she's near the bottom or something. Tim is hyper-aware of it but doesn't know what the criteria are and keeps getting really competitive trying to get into the top 2 at least once, and he keeps failing miserably.

Bruce: who are you? A new crime lord?

Jason: *takes off his helmet*

Bruce: *squints suspiciously* a new crime lord who looks like a grown up version of my dead son?

Jason: *sighs in annoyance and forces a bright smile*

Bruce: JASON THE NEW CRIME LORD???