Jason's A 10 While His Boyfriend Looks Mid

Whenever Bruce can't do something as Batman he sends one of his kids in the cowl. Literally any of his kids. To deal with having to wear the cowl, they turn it into a game: will the justice league notice that Batman isn't the person under the mask?

Spoiler alert, they don't.

Somehow, the league never notices when it's not Bruce under the cowl, or at least that it's not the same person they all know.

Like never.

______

Hal: Hey Bats, you look taller today.

Jason, determined not to lose: hm

Hal, sensing danger and immediately backtracking: uh, that's not to say you don't usually look tall, I mean you just look taller today, um did you change your ear thingies?

Jason: *Batglare intensifies*

Hal: uh, I'm just gonna go

_______

Aquaman: you've been quiet this whole meeting, Batman, even for you.

Cass, currently wearing shoulder pads and absolutely insane platform boots: *a fim huff of breath*

Aquaman: right sorry, I forgot you were dealing with another mass break out from Arkham this week, you don't need to stay for the whole meeting. We know you probably know everything already anyway

Cass: *nods*

_____

Flash: Morning Batman. *zooms past*

Duke, absolutely befuddled:

Duke, quietly into his comm: you'd think the speedster would have the time to notice

The several batkids on the other side of the line: *laughing hysterically.*

Dick, wheezing: just do the thing where B tucks the lower half of his face into his cape like he's Dracula. You're doing great.

Bruce, from somewhere in the cave, actively giving up on the assumption that his coworkers have at least one working braincell between them: stop comparing me to Dracula, Dick

The biggest omission is that they were not shown at the wedding of Hiccup and Astrid, even as a cameo. Hello? Heather is her best friend.

switcheroo part 2 electric boogaloo (soundwave edition)

for those of you who were wondering, yes soundwave is still the most loyal hes just a flamboyant conniving megalomaniac, and yes starscream is still traitorous hes just calculating and methodical and very very patient

part 3

Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess

Okay but what if, Ra's Al Ghul although being affably evil in my eyes, when the Court of Owls invade his palace to harm his family is not what he will let happen.

*yes some ooc, this was written for fun and for me I do still see Ra's as a villainous man that I don't like, but I've also always thought as bad as he is, he would never let snooty rich foes harm his family... that's his job and he labeled them as tests lol. Context here is that the Court of Owls after being rejected by Ra's and Batman, tracked Damian and Talia and were going to do unspeakable acts to them. Ra's made it in time and he's about to go full bad ass grandpa!

Ra's al Ghul entered the palace, his green and black cloak billowing as he stepped over the body of an owl member he had just stabbed.

Ra's: I come back and find my palace desecrated, sacked like Gotham. Worst of all, I hear you dare to touch my daughter and hurt her boy! I... have had.... enough.

The countess of the court, Lizabeth, stepped forward, her blonde hair slipping from her cloak.

Lizabeth: Old king, we only wanted to convince you to join us. The one who spoke those threats is dead, thanks to you. How about we handle this—

Ra's’s arrow cut her words short as it pierced her heart, sending her crumpling to the ground, lifeless.

Ra's (calmly, almost mockingly): No.

The lights in the palace went dark as Talia entered, cradling Damian in her arms. Though only eleven, she effortlessly carried him, surprising the young boy as the sounds of scattering and screams echoed through the halls. The palace staff remained hidden, leaving only the formerly ruthless assassins to fall one by one to Ra's's fury.

Ra's: "Let's go after a man who's practically a God, who has spent countless years mastering numerous fighting styles and weaponry, and think we can harm his family." Brilliant strategy, truly. You’re all so clever, aren’t you?

He struck down another panicking member who hadn’t seen him in the shadows. Any assassin who dared to attack was met with the swift bite of his sword, sheathed at his side.

As panic spread, six members huddled together—four men and two women.

Sebastian: Where is he? WHERE IS HE?!

Mara: Keep your head down! He's aiming for the torches!

Henry: Our weapons... they’re missing! He’s using the darkness to mask his approaches!

John: Our only chance is to strike in the darkness. We know these halls! We can tilt the odds!

Ra's (from the shadows): You don’t think I know my own palace? I BUILT IT!

In a brutal flurry, Ra's slaughtered all six members. More deaths followed until he cornered the remaining foes in a room after they attempted to harm Talia and Damian.

Alvah (with a sword embedded in his chest, begging): Mer... mercy...

Ra's: Mercy? MERCY?! My mercy has long since drowned. It died to make me who I am. And as long as you're around. My family's fate is left unknown. You plotted to kill my grandson... You planned to RAPE MY DAUGHTER! ALL OF YOU ARE GOING TO DIE!

Ra's yanked the sword free and seized Alvah by the hair.

Ra's (coldly): You filled my heart with hate. All of you who've done me wrong. THIS WILL BE YOUR FATE!

In a swift motion, Ra's beheaded Alvah, his lifeless body crumpling to the ground, horrifying the remaining members. As they screamed in terror, Ra's and Talia dispatched the rest with ruthless efficiency.

Damian (hidden in a closet, whispering): I want to come out, but I feel like I’ve seen enough blood for a lifetime.

Talia: Oh, yes, stay there, tifl. Give us a few minutes to clean up!

Damian (surprised): Mmmkay... did grandpa save us?!

Talia (smiling at her father): I think he did.

Ra's (shaking blood off his sword): Don’t dwell on it. Just... no one harms my family. No strangers, and no foolish, wealthy simpletons. And don’t hug me!

Talia shrugged, giving her father a gentle pat on the shoulder. Ra's, now covered in blood, felt an odd sense of relief in having saved his family. He knew he was ruthless, but he felt justified—it was a necessary purging for the protection of those he loved. In his formative years, he had sworn he became softer with a grandchild, but this time around, he didn’t mind.

Super yappers 💫

rb to have a super gay 2023

hc that every couple months jason texts tim like "hey r you going rogue yet?" "no" "alr lemme know if you change your mind" until one night tim gets this text while he's having an absolute shit week and goes yknow what? why not and suddenly the internet is filled with news that red hood teamed up with an unknown associate to cause chaos(stealing from corrupt billionaire type chaos, not mass murder of innocents type chaos) and said associate randomly shows up again every couple months

My child is growing wings under his skin and they look… pretty fully formed… like they’re about to burst out any minute

Do you know which hospital has better care for….alternative biology we’ll say

Or would I be better off getting him to a metropolis hospital in this case?

For the growth period we’ve been managing the pain for him pretty successfully with some pain killers and occulting between a heating pad and a cooling one but… idk somethings about to happen I know it

Good question. Gotham is getting better about (as you put it best) alternative biology. Probably ever since the Signal showed up and people remembered that metas exist. But I'd definitely still recommend going to Metropolis for this. I've got some friends at Knight Memorial who see cases like this pretty regularly. Keep at the heating and cooling routine and (depending on your kid's age), you can cycle between ibuprofen and tylenol as needed. Best of luck and let me know if you need anything. I'm not well read on wing development, but I'm happy to look into temporary housing out in Metropolis or to call in a favor with the good people of Knight Memorial. Stay safe out there