My Husband’s Job Primarily Employs Adult Men But There Is One (1) Teenage Girl And My Husband Said

You know the dread you feel when you see the villain/monster of a horror movie just standing out in the open? Waiting for the protagonist/main character to see them?

Sometimes Bruce does that as Batman — waits directly underneath a streetlight, or in the center of a day-lit alley. Waiting for their eyes to slip past him, only to dart back to his chest, shoulders, and head in sudden, trembling terror.

Because it’s not about hiding. It’s about being seen. About intentions being unmistakable, until the criminals find themselves wishing for the uncertainty of shadows again. Darkness, instead of the dead-eyed, blunt obviousness of daylight.

Batman, arresting Harley for the umpteenth time: You're going to prison, Quinn.

Harley: You know what I was thinking?

Batman: what.

Harley: That you don't send me to prison. *grins*

Batman:...

Batman: I have no idea what to say to that.

Harley: No, think about it! I could wear my sexy nurse outfit and you me and kitty could have some fun!

Batman: *sighs* As appealing as that prospect is,....

Harley: *low squeal*

Batman: No.

Harley: You need a therapist who can fuck you and tell you about your mommy issues at the same time

Batman: I don't think anyone ever in the history of humanity has needed that.

Harley: (begging) Come on, Bats. They drug me in there! It gets all...spooky sometimes. Not your kind of spooky, the bad kind.

Batman: *hesitating*

Harley: And they feed me pea soup! PEA SOUP!! *kicks a rock and starts crying*

Batman: Quinn, you should have thought of that before you ran away with Ivy and killed the CEO of FutureTech.

Harley, pleading: That was Ivy, not me!

Batman: Uh huh.

Harley: She said he was a plant murderer. And I gotta admit, I wasn't feeling too good myself about him dumping all that toxic waste in the Amazon.

Batman: When things like this happen, you come to me.

Harley: You've never shown interest in plant shit before.

Batman, pinching the bridge of his nose: I can handle it. I know how important 'plant shit' is to Ivy and you. It's important to me too. That's why, next time, before you murder someone, let me handle it legally by scaring the shit out of them first. Okay?

Harley: *hiccups* okay.

Batman: Now. I'll talk to the Arkham parole board about your early conditional release. But I will make sure they give you some truly, spectacularly, horribly disgusting community service.

Harley, desperate: No. Not the garbage route again.

Batman, smiling grimly: Oh it gets worse. Trust me. *begins typing into his phone*

Harley: Oh my god I think I'll just do my time. I'm not going into the trash cans, you don't know the kind of shit people throw out! I think I'll just take my meds and stare at the walls instead.

Batman, looking up from his phone: I'm afraid that ship has sailed. *smiles evilly*

Harley: Oh my fucking shit you monster!

Batman: Remember that feeling the next time your trigger finger itches to pop off a human being.

Harley, gritting her teeth: It's itching now, bitch!

Batman, smugly: Good.

Jason (breaking into titians tower to kill Tim): square up

Tim (who holding a mug and the coffee pot): Hold on.

Precedes to chug the whole coffee pot then chucks it at Jason’s head.

The fight that ensures is the most feral, intense fight any of the Titian’s have ever seen.

Jason: You missed an opening there. You could have hit me when my chest was exposed.

Tim: Look at your foot work, I could have knocked you over.

Jason: Nice hit, if you commit more with the follow through then you’ll have more power.

The Titian’s are watching trying to decide if they should step in or sit back and enjoy the show.

Jason (is through to the ground and has Tim’s staff pointed at his neck): I’m impressed. You are pretty good for a replacement.

Tim: Well I have big shoes to fill.

Jason: Breakfast?

Tim: Pancakes?

Jason: Have strawberry syrup?

Then they get up, move to the kitchen like nothing happened and just start making pancakes.

Damian would feel so betrayed

Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!

Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!

Bruce: what is this about?

Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.

Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?

Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.

Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?

Bruce: …

Damian: father?

Bruce:… how much?

Damian: FATHER?!?

Bruce: name your price!

Damian: NO!

Saw a post about every Assassin knowing Cassandra Wayne was Cassandra Cain and I just need to know what the hell they think about Damian. Like the post said they all think Batman placed Cass with Bruce Wayne to keep an eye on him but what about Damian?

Like isn't it commonly known among anyone in the League of Assassins that Damian al Ghul was the son of Batman? So what do they think seeing him on TV as Damian Wayne?

Does the League know Bruce is Batman and they just don't ask questions? I'd like to think the older members remember Bruce being trained in the League, like they remember he was supposed to be Talia's consort. But what about the rest of the league?

Oh what's that? Damian is the Son of Batman? Makes sense. Damian is actually the son of Bruce Wayne? The airhead billionaire? Alright we've got some questions.

I need to know what Talia ans Ra's are telling people because Bruce Wayne is like worldwide famous, there's no way Assassins aren't going to realize that Damian is from the League. Is it like an open secret then? The League just knows Damian is Batman's son and Batman is Bruce Wayne but no one says anything about it because they want to protect Damian.

Furthermore, is no one going to question that airhead Bruce Wayne has custody of David Cain and Lady Shiva's daughter, Talia al Ghul and Batman's son AND his own son Jason Todd was also in the League? Do they think he's still somehow affiliated with the League? Like I need to know what kind of gossip passes around the league, I need to be part of it.

The implementation of Tim’s cowl

actually the idea that Dick, the eldest, the only one who ever wore the cowl long term, the only one who raised a Robin on his own, is also the only one who can successfully, perfectly replicate that barked ROBIN! in Bruce's voice? the only one who can pull that exact tone from the depths of his soul, to the point where his voice is identical, so identical that old Robins like Jason are obeying before their minds even realize their bodies are moving? that Dick is the only one, has always been the only one, who can channel Bruce's voice? can channel Batman himself? I am going feral

Billy hasn’t quiteeee mastered flying in his regular human form yet☁️

(Continuation of my last post ⬇️)

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AXE

What if Billy kept some of his powers in his human form? ⚡️

EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

Detective Comics Annual #3 - “Chaos Theory”

written by Brian Buccallato art by Werther Dell’Edera, Jorge Fornes, & Scott Hepburn