Tw: Talk Of Self Harm, Vent

I get so mad when my friends tell me like “omg I ate so little today, im anorexic” or “im soooo hungry i haven’t eaten breakfast”

Shut up. Literally shut up. I’ve been fasting for 3 days.

I'm so upset right now, because I've planned out every food I was going to eat for the day and it's been going so well, but now my parents insist they make something for the entire family to eat for dinner, and even if it's soup (and slightly lower in calories than what I would've had otherwise) I'm really quite angry I couldn't follow through with my plan :(

Also, I have no way to count the calories of what my parents cook and that makes it scary no matter what it is, but hey- they're making just soup

to cut or to not cut, that is the question. except im an addict and we all know the answer

I binged the second day in a row and I feel fucking awful

I really hate myself and I can never fucking let this happen again

Like yeah, eating more in the weekends is one thing, it's not ideal, but Ig eating maintenance for a day or two is fine

BUT NOT FUCKING STUFFING MYSELF UNTIL MY STOMACH HURTS

I hate, hate, hate myself

Gay with an eating disorder?

Nah man I go by wlwlw

(Get it? Please tell me someone gets it lol)

If I for some reason ever end up having kids of my own I will never ever comment on their body, their weight or compare them to other children, not even their siblings, and then try to soothe them by telling them they're just built bulky. No. I will definitely not be encouraging of they may be overweight and - fucking (un)surprisingly - eat less. And if they lose weight, I won't comment on how grown up they look now with all the face fat gone or grab their ribcage and act fucking impressed or openly diet in front of them or fucking WALK INTO THE ROOM TO WEIGH MYSELF EVERY DAY WHILST I LITERALLY STAND THERE LIKE 🧍🏽

And if I notice my kid is ⭐ving themselve I'm not going comment on it constantly and never do anything, and I won't just shut up when they suddenly begin eating again, devouring everything in sight and all the other things.

And if their Grandma does any of these things I'm just not going to let them see each other when I'm not around. Because I won't have her feed them every fucking calorie in the house just because she didn't give a shit, and then have her try to gossip about my weight with my Mom and keep fucking comparing me to my sister and shit there is so much more and I'm sorry for the rant

Saturdays are always bad for me food wise

Not only do I have to eat at least two of the meals my family cook, but then I'm also at home most of the time and around food, and that becomes especially difficult when I have work to do I don't particularly enjoy.

I feel so fucking pathetic for this though but I'll have to find something that works for me, somehow.

feeling fatter than ever any oversized clothes but also being scared to wear anything else, because they're my only "safe outfits"

Are you ever so hyperaware of your body whilst in public and you’re trying not to burst into tears…. Hahah yeah me either

Binging on safe foods is literally the worst :(

Just let me enjoy my protein bars please