Awesome

i miss the feeling of home

to be included and loved without limits

DIARY

15th of March 2022

i ate 2 curry puffs for breakfast. tasty! i also ate some prawn biscuits in my dad's noodles.

after that i played genshin and did the average social media scrolling. my dad wants to take us out to buy lunch.

he went to AEON to buy burger king. the set came with burgers, fries, coke and a sundae. it was so tasty like no other. the cone was so crunchy!!!! ice cream was the PERFECT amount of sweetness, not like McDonalds where it gets disgusting after you eat too much...

while waiting for my dad to get subway from another mall nearby me and my mom devoured her burger in the car. i ate parts where cheese was dripping out of the meat. my dad returned with two subways and a salmon onigiri.

i ate the onigiri in the car. it's been 5 years and i still dont know how to properly open convenience store rice balls. I've only opened one correctly my whole life and i forgot how i did it.

some grains of rice keeps falling onto the cushions of the car its so annoying. i still ate the whole thing up though it was ok and decent for half frozen food.

the whole car trip I've eaten: fries, 1/4 of a burger, onigiri.

at home i ate 5 bites out of my subway. i keep shuffling from the back of the house go the dining room to watch cats behind the house. there are so many!!! a kitten and its mother and 4 more adult cats that are the same colour.

after i ate i mostly just checked on the cats again to take funny pictures of them and chatting with my friend. THEN THERES A POWER OUT AGAIN!!! they can't stop fixing the lights in the neighborhood.

it was evening. no lights, no wifi. i went outside in my pajamas from yesterday. the full moon in the blue sky was so magical. the clouds were from an oil painting, my mom said. even though oil paintings should be inspired by clouds.

i mostly just did weird stunts outside while waiting for electricity to come back again. eventually it became night and my grandparents cooked dinner in the darkness.

they cooked bihun in fishballs, meat chunks, ikan bilis and water!!! so tasty.

then i caught up with a dusty manga i havent read since last year. IT IS SO GOOD. i was reading it before i wrote this diary, so i am still reading it.

I've also bought some things in my shopee cart for my beloved!!! i used my free shipoing voucher and rm4 off voucher. i got rm13 off..🤤🤤❓❗

You shouldn't keep reminding yourself how old you are.

Sure, you can always reminisce about when you were a kid, how weird it was that you were pre-pubescent. But being stuck in the past and awe-stricken by how young you were doesn't help, because you're getting older as you think about that. You don't have time to daydream about your childhood, unless it's for self reflection and improvement, because you have to keep moving. You're not even that old now, you just think you are because you're jealous of all the time the kids have left compared to you while in actuality you have just as much time as they do to chase your dreams, because you're not an arthritis-struck old lady yet.

thank you.

weird thoughts while im late

Once I asked my mom why people don't just jog to work instead of walking，sweat isn't even that bad. It dries up afterwards. She said it's disgusting and I said ok. Now I'm here and sweating even when I'm only walking. So it either proves that sweating is unpleasant, or that we should just jog anyways since we're already going to sweat.

yeah nobody is..🤨🤨😣👍

Nobody is gonna talk about how Hazel had Leo and Frank fighting over her at age 13 🥲🥲

⛷️🐝d Toilet fun!

(random scenarios i have in my head as someone with a bad imagination)

"Shall we ditch this juicy block of steak to head over to the urinals for some due fun?" he indicated to the signboard in front of your table indicating two genders separated by a line, shimmering pale grey eyes blinking in mischief.

Relax, he meant to make you follow him as company for his trip to the loo, nothing more. How could anyone mistake his boyish maroon curls for a dirty scheming jerk? The ruffled tangles he own probably came from innocent ruffles from his aunt in their frustratingly functional, happy household.

"No," you tease, then breaking into a hysterical laugh as if you just cracked the most hilarious joke known to man. Toothy grin in place, you swished your wine red gown to trail behind you as you rose from your puffy seat.

As he walked away from the table, he walked with one calloused hand outstretched behind him, welcoming aura made obvious. He didn't even have to look back to make sure your mountain-scaling-hard hands were placed in his. You observed the way his midnight blue suit sleeve stretched richly over his lean forearm and took his hand in glee.

Upon reaching the entrance, he spun you to a stop, your braided chignon unfurling into dark, untamed waves upon your bare neck before he took a ravenous glance at your pouting lips and you admired his perfectly inclined foxy eyes obviously oblivious to your admiration. Your lip quivered at his perusal, as if every thought of his was your command.

Looking at the checkered toilet floor, you broke the electrifying eye-makeout that left you stumbling mentally and dragged the top piece of your dress with both hands down to disguise your discomfort. In letting go of the satin piece that stuck to your flesh like a desperate crush, you cursed at it for making you feel itchy and hot.

He flashed you a tooth in his large smile and leaned his head toward the stall to indicate his departure. You relaxed and drooped to rest your back on the smooth pink-painted wall adorned with abstract paintings you find meaningless. Who would put in effort to decipher this heap of strokes drawn in succession with no thought put into it, if they already had a life full of meaning and hope?

Musing in your sneaker clad feet sure makes time pass fast... or maybe Nic was just the fortunate owner of an efficient sphincter muscle. Striding out of the half open wooden door without a sound, he splashed water onto your countenance from a water reserve in his palms and screaming, "BOO!" while horror dawns on your unsuspecting wide black eyes.

After getting you in the state of shock, his impossibly light eyes arched entertainingly upwards and eyed you mischievously as he quickly stretched his arms forward to pull you down with him as he fell backwards.

Everything happened in slow-motion, as all highly anticipated moments in your life do –

Expecting a fall from your unexpectedly less than restricting retro dress, your normally unreactive brows furrowed in anticipation, narrowing your long-lashed eyes in response. The whole world turned quickly like a rogue panorama with romantic chandeliers all over - until your vision was filled with him and only him.

You've always noticed his eyes were an electrifyingly rare shad of grey almost close to raw egg white, but also so baby blue they were angelically pure. Once the two of you were bouldering a really steep course, and Nic was about to fall, his fingers loosening its grip on the handhold. When you saw his helpless puppy dog eyes definitely not suiting his foxy demeanor drooping in a watery pool, you couldn't help but felt forced to reach out a hand to pull him by the neck like a baby pup.

You weren't exceptionally strong to begin with, definitely not strong enough for men bigger than you, and never strong enough for Nic, who was larger than life. If he drifted away, you wouldn't even have the strength to pull him back into your life. Holding Nic by his sweaty neck plagued by wild maroon curls extending downwards, you lasted for 3 seconds before you slipped down the course onto a soft gymnastics mat next to an out-of-breath Nic.

Hair luminescent like light shining on fresh blood, you held eye contact with him and found that he smiled back, head tilted to his left and cheeks extended enough to show you his light dimple. You never held eye contact with people other than your family for long, and you never knew people appreciated it. What on earth were you missing out on?

Pondering the long history of viewing into his eyes did you no good as he spun you 180° over like a ballroom dancer and you were on top of him as he stayed cornered into the wall, head tipped back in defiance, daring you to exceed his expectations. He definitely wouldn't have thought you'd be admiring his kissably visible jawline. At this point you were still standing straight, until you weren't. As if every moment was escalating into your wildest fantasies, he closed the distance between your bodies by reining in your waist, generating a thundering, warm shiver in you. Nevertheless, you arched your neck back so you wouldn't have to kiss him. He was made for admiring, not indulgence.

"It's okay, you know me," he purred softly, sounding like a dangerous whisper in your ear despite the distance between your faces. "Not like this," you murmured and looked down to his messed up collar, his priceless necklace creating depth in the endlessly contoured desert that is his collarbone. "Look at me," he chided, sharp eyes knifing into your betrayingly flattered skin. Out of all people, he has eyes on me. Isn't that so... exclusive? "Remember when you held me by the neck before we fell together?" his eyes explored your relenting nose tipped high upon your face, and you could feel his eyes pecking secret kisses onto the bridge of your nose.

Your lips widened in protest, and he held your nape gently as you pulled his collar close to your body. Smiling your endless black hole eyes at his candy reddened lips, you indulge in the feeling of his fingers caressing the curve of your head in a secure clutch, your chest pressed against a new, foreign surface.

That day, you almost relented and put your head in his shoulder. You could feel his curls welcoming you if you rolled to his side. The thing is, you've never been brave when it came to love.

Now, you could explore all you wanted. Because this was real. His head dipping down to infuse your lips with his cinnamon flavour was real, and he tasted better than your bad imagination. The way his sharp nose was crashing into yours was real, and you've never wanted to feel better. You are living in the better. "I wanted this," you spoke your illegal thoughts through your busy mouth, and he drew his head back to look at your characteristically shadowed face. The shadows suited you well. You could tell from his hungry gaze.

Putting his comforting palm on your cheek, you felt the cold of his ruby ring and it led you to seek warmth in exploring the shadowed lines of his jaw. A mystery. "I've wanted this since the day I laid my eyes on you," he declared discreetly, voice ravenous and eyes wild.

oh albedo!🧎🛐🙏💯🥵😇🥰

busy

nsfw!!! albedo x f!reader

cockwarming, blowjob, needy!reader, uninterested!albedo

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“I’m busy,” Albedo tells you for about the sixth time in the past ten minutes, and your shoulders drop in dissatisfaction. “I’ll take care of you after I finish my research.”

You huff in response because you know he won’t be finished anytime soon. He would stay hunched up in this room forever if he could - and he tries to.

He’d probably be able to if it weren’t for you, his pretty angel who would come bother him for even a sliver of attention. Whether it be just to sit beside him in comfortable silence or to ask him about what he was researching, you were always there with him. You were surprised he wasn’t sick of you by now.

Unbeknownst to you, he adored it - adored you. Loved when you would come to visit him even if it pulled him away from his work, filling the otherwise quiet room with your sweet voice while you leaned your cheek onto his shoulder.

Today, though, you were pestering him a little extra. Heat simmered under your skin and its been so long since he’s touched you and he hasn’t made any move to do so. So you took it upon yourself to get what you wanted.

What you wanted translated into you asking to suck him off while he worked.

“I’ll stop bothering if you let me.” You promise - a lie but he didn’t have to know that - gently trying to push him so you could move in front of him. “I’ll be good, Bedo, please.”

He pauses, letting out a light sigh before sliding himself and his chair backwards to make a space for you.

You beam at him, eagerly crawling and squeezing yourself into the space under the table and between his legs. He watches you intently while you so excitedly kneel below him before reaching out and pushing your hair back and out of your face.

That was the only time he touched you, leaving you to do as you wished while he did whatever he was up to before.

It’s a shame he was so set on research instead of watching you. You looked so pretty with his cock in your mouth, doing your best to fit him all the way down your throat. Hands splayed out on each of his thighs and your eyes blinked back tears while you tried to accommodate his girth.

You were so messy, too, saliva and precum on your chin - Albedo likes it wet, likes you looking a mess.

The way he didn’t react - besides a few heavy breaths and a small ‘fuck’ that spurred you to take him deeper - made you feel hot and more desperate for him, squirming in your spot between his legs. This wasn’t enough for you, not when you know you could be getting fucked right over the table he was sitting at.

Pulling off him and gasping for air, spit stringing from the tip of his cock to your mouth. Your jaw was sore from it being kept wide open for so long and your throat burned.

“Bedo,” a small, raspy whimper.

A small noise of acknowledgment from him, “hm?”

“C’n I please-“

“I thought you said you would stop bothering me after this?” You wiggled your hips again, whining and wrapping your lips around the wet head of his cock.

“I’ll never get anything done if you keep pestering me like this.”

His hand grabs your jaw, pulling your mouth away from his dick and making you peer up at him. He admires you for a short while, thumb swiping along your slick bottom lip, to which you open in hopes he’ll let you suck on it.

He doesn’t, opting instead to lean back a little more, patting his thigh like he was calling a dog to come to him. Your face burns at that but you don’t pass the opportunity to sit on his lap, crawling up and situating yourself atop him.

You can feel his dick against you, pressing against your cunt, twitching under you at the feel of your wetness. You thank god that he’s so lenient with you, letting you act out your desires with nothing more than amused scolding.

With hands on shoulders, you lift yourself just enough so he can slip himself inside. He hooks his own chin over your shoulder, seemingly drawing his attention back to his work once again.

“That’s better?” He asks whilst writing, but its rhetorical. The way you immediately start rolling your hips tells him all he need, a high chant of “yesyesyes” spilling from you.

A try at making a rhythm was lost quickly, head too cloudy to do more than little desperate jerks of your hips.

Doing all the work was tiring, with Albedo not even shifting his hips to aid you, just letting you pathetically twitch and grind and whimper like a bitch in heat - he’d tell you that, if he was more vulgar, but doesn’t. He’s sure you already know, anyway.

Even though he was quite good at blocking things out, the wet suction and squeeze of your walls around him were a little much, and he had to stop his work to take a breath and calm himself a little.

It unfortunately didn’t do much, the never stopping movements from you becoming something that he couldn’t just ignore.

So he decided on a different course of action.

“You’re distracting me,” he murmurs, grasping you hip with one of his hands, to which they kick forwards. “Stop moving.”

You shake your head, a silent protest at his notion. How mean could he be to make you stop?

A pinch to your side and a simple “what did i say?” were enough to make you think twice.

You let out something akin to a sob, hips shaking as an attempt to keep them still. It was somehow too much and not enough at the same time and it made you want to cry, made you want to tell Albedo how mean he was being right now.

He’s so stubborn sometimes, so set on working and blocking out the rest of the world that even when he wants something he wont get it. You, tearful and pouting, shove your face in the junction of his neck and shoulders and try your hardest to just sit.

“Good girl,” a praise - he knew you were pouting - to keep you from being too upset.

“Just a little while longer, alright?”

DIARY OF 13TH MARCH 2022

13th of March, 2022.

today i woke up so late to

1. avoid paying respects in the cemetery

2. continue my dream

(P.S I hope noone from my old class is tuning in because this is really embarrassing. i dreamt of not being able to pick a food in the hawker centre. then somehow LJH talked about so many things to me and i held his hand and ran to char kuey teow stall. it was so breezy and cool!! he had very warm hands.)

we planned to pay our respects at 10. i woke up at 1035. i ate while rushing. i ate a steamed pumpkin bun made by my grandparents and a bite of yiu tiao.

we arrived at the section where my granduncle is at and see many people surrounding his tomb. someone opened a huge arse umbrella over the tombstone so people sticking incense wouldn't get their skin scorched by the sun. when my parents and i came i heard "omg she's so tall!" 5 times (it was inevitable 😏).

after i made my dad stick my incense in the sand, i stood UNDER THE SUN for 30 AN HOUR AT LEAST!!! i switched places 3 times. first i went under a small ass tree next to an unfamiliar relative of mine. i said Hi!! to seem approachable and to manipulate her to cover me with her umbrella😘 and she responded!! she was nice but i didn't reply to most of her statements because this is who i am.

then i went under another 2 umbrellas that were shared with 3 people each. IT WAS STILL SO HOT BRO THE UMBRELLAS DIDN'T DO NUN💔💔💔 my mom is a sadist she made me wear a gray shirt with black streaks. while she wore a blue shirt and my dad a white one? 🤬

after that i gave up and went to a gazebo with my grandma. it was pretty boring. i just daydreamed under there.

then we went to my M grandmother's house. we tabao'ed kuey teow soup, many kuih and 经济饭. my fav was kuey teow soup. it was good but i got bored of it quickly.

i just scrolled through my phone for the next hour then i only went home. WE WERE STICKY ASF!!

after bathing i played genshin for real for the first time in so long! i was hearing demon slayer SFX (my dad was watching) while cooping with someone nice and there came a power supply cut because someone was fixing a cable or something. so uncalled for. i couldn't say bye bye so she must've thought that i hated her or something. i drew without wifi next to the open sliding door to feel the natural wind!! my mom was watching me draw.

after that we gkt bored and went to eat dinner. luckily i bought a book bc it took so long for the food to come. it was worth it though it was a top tier feast. salted egg mantis shrimp, special edition beancurd with suspicious black sauce, yau mak with fried garlic and carrots, curry fish and okras.

shopping for bikinis.

segsy prompt i found on google. it's the top result but i have never read a fanfic with this prompt so i'm going to use it. (bulleted point form)

includes: itto, albedo, diluc, ayaka

itto

takes pictures of every one he finds pretty and shows them to you later.

plays music when you're changing (and sings along...)

when he sees one he doesn't like his eyes will glow up, he'll do the shocked emoji and say "no." monotonously.

secretly wants to come in the fitting room with you.

will accidentally say what he actually thinks out loud.

hard to shop with him because he doesn't like anything

brings someone from his gang with better fashion sense to pick one when he's not sure

albedo

is respectful. very.

gentleman. compliments you a lot. when faced with clothing he doesn't really like, he tells you politely. if you really like it, he lets you buy it anyways. he's only giving you his opinion, not telling you what to do.

brings klee along so you have to change fast or else her impatient arse will be in another isle lawwlll

if you buy a plain white one he'll paint on it!! it's pretty so you won't mind

albedo bikini top.

diluc

"as long as you like it."

helps you carry the clothes you want to try out if there's not enough hangers.

is selfless, let's you test out the clothing for as long as you want. doesn't urge you to hurry up.

pays for it

idk i hate diluc

ayaka

gives you her honest opinion but sugarcoats it a bit

thats ugly. "it's plainly hideous, traveler! but do what you want i guess."

if she is also shopping for one she'll change with you

likes floral patterned ones

blushes and says "it uh.. makes your boobs look bigger.. if that's a good thing."

would rather wear shorts than a bikini bottom

marvelous! woo zoo mama!!

albedo headcannons(posted this for my beloved snookiepooh bear @kaidousecoli)

-He is the reason the water bill is so high because of how much time he spends in the shower contemplating life and the universe.

-He will recite the day’s events to you and talk about his findings every night to you because you always fall asleep, thinking his voice comforts you but in reality the stuff he talks about is just plain boring.

-IF he ever uses social media he will use full stops religiously and use the b&w filter on all his posts.

-He takes a long time in the shower catering to his hair despite the balding spots on his head.

-Allergic to peanuts.

-Won’t be able to tell you’re being sarcastic half of the time.

—Unironically listens to Charlie Puth(his favourite song is “we don’t talk anymore”)

-Young Sheldon is his favourite show because he relates to it on a spiritual level.

-Needs emotional support when he takes a fat shit.

-Snorts when he laughs.

-If you guys get a house it would look like a mental asylum because he doesn’t think decorations are practical.