WHAT THE HELL Did Tumblr Not Save My Completed Draft Or Something Fuck Me

im curious about why spongebob's town is called bikini bottom.

DIARY

15th of March 2022

i ate 2 curry puffs for breakfast. tasty! i also ate some prawn biscuits in my dad's noodles.

after that i played genshin and did the average social media scrolling. my dad wants to take us out to buy lunch.

he went to AEON to buy burger king. the set came with burgers, fries, coke and a sundae. it was so tasty like no other. the cone was so crunchy!!!! ice cream was the PERFECT amount of sweetness, not like McDonalds where it gets disgusting after you eat too much...

while waiting for my dad to get subway from another mall nearby me and my mom devoured her burger in the car. i ate parts where cheese was dripping out of the meat. my dad returned with two subways and a salmon onigiri.

i ate the onigiri in the car. it's been 5 years and i still dont know how to properly open convenience store rice balls. I've only opened one correctly my whole life and i forgot how i did it.

some grains of rice keeps falling onto the cushions of the car its so annoying. i still ate the whole thing up though it was ok and decent for half frozen food.

the whole car trip I've eaten: fries, 1/4 of a burger, onigiri.

at home i ate 5 bites out of my subway. i keep shuffling from the back of the house go the dining room to watch cats behind the house. there are so many!!! a kitten and its mother and 4 more adult cats that are the same colour.

after i ate i mostly just checked on the cats again to take funny pictures of them and chatting with my friend. THEN THERES A POWER OUT AGAIN!!! they can't stop fixing the lights in the neighborhood.

it was evening. no lights, no wifi. i went outside in my pajamas from yesterday. the full moon in the blue sky was so magical. the clouds were from an oil painting, my mom said. even though oil paintings should be inspired by clouds.

i mostly just did weird stunts outside while waiting for electricity to come back again. eventually it became night and my grandparents cooked dinner in the darkness.

they cooked bihun in fishballs, meat chunks, ikan bilis and water!!! so tasty.

then i caught up with a dusty manga i havent read since last year. IT IS SO GOOD. i was reading it before i wrote this diary, so i am still reading it.

I've also bought some things in my shopee cart for my beloved!!! i used my free shipoing voucher and rm4 off voucher. i got rm13 off..🤤🤤❓❗

diary 8/4/2022

thought my period was going to stop then it peaked in the afternoon what the hell was it because i had diarrhea 2 times this morning/!?

in school, i hated it. i dont know why but i get boring vibes from my best friend/deskmate. it's like we have nothing funny to talk about anymore and she has more friends other than me so sometimes i think "why should i entertain her? she already has so many friends."

i feel like i follow her wherever she goes, even if it doesn't benefit me. am i her mindless sidekick, or someone who knows how to defend herself? i really dont know. im trying to see this from a third person view but i would only view myself as boring, emo and sometimes cheerful person. which is everyone in this world. it's hard to accept that you're someone normal who won't get noticed in a group of kids in uniforms and face masks that look, well.. uniform.

i say i like intellectual people, but now i think it meant laidback smart people who know when to give up on pleasure and work/study. that won't complain over minor things. sometimes people too eager to be number 1 ignore you by reading a textbook. i shouldn't restrict her from reading her book just because i want to talk to her, i didn't in real life. but i wish she would talk to me more. when we talk about art, i have the time of my life and laugh so much. but that happens only once per 3 days. the other days i feel bored as if i am stuck in a box. even though i have people on my left and right, i can't bring myself to talk to them.

why? arent you the self proclaimed extrovert, lol. i really wish for a change of seats. if this goes on... whatever i'll be friends with them eventually, i hope. the girl on my right looks scary and like my aunt and the one on my left is chubby and cute but the guy in front of her talks to her almost every minute. this is a friendship i want, but i can't force my best friend to stop pursuing knowledge, because she can't. the dude who was originally behind me was nice, but he swapped with another dude and i don't even know this new dude's interests. i'm overwhelmed right now. this is like free therapy i didn't even know i felt this way. i really want to sit next to liyeen.

okay rant over time for what happened in school (that i recall)

i really like art class. we went to the classroom for art for the first time today, we didn't even go last year. this teacher likes to give simple summaries and quizzes us. in the last portion of that class he said we could only leave if we answer his questions and that we need to raise our hand (and dont need to wait for him to appoint us we can just say immediately) at first i heard what he said but i didnt know if he was being serious so i waited for him. "apakah dalam dekorasi perahu?" then got like 5, and 3 people answered before me.

MY THOUGHT PROCESS: come on man, choose me i so tall u def can see me and i waving my arm... pls!! wait my best friend said the answer without being called by the teacher, i should do that do. should i? FUCK YES i want to go back to class.

BACK TO REALITY. *raises hand for 5 seconds* *doubts herself, shakes head* "CAAAPINGG!!!!" teacher turns his head around, "siapa cakap caping? kamu? ok boleh balik." AND I LINED UP !!!! and everyone was staring at me kinda. YES! best moment ever.

in science me and alishya sat opposite each other so we had a staring session and it was so cute i didn't feel pressured to stop at all. normally when pointless things happen like chats im not interested in or unfunny actions she did for the 6th time this week, i feel like i have to ignore her. not today though! i taught liyeen the correct way to draw a dichotomous key today.

after school i made my dad drive around the park and he stopped in an alleyway and said i could go down and take pictures of a beautiful tree shedding purple flowers. i posted them in my family groupchat on my dad's phone. i took a flower off the ground and put it next to a pottery piggy bank.

i want scaramouche to humiliate me at the top wangshu inn like pleasee dial my number 😍😍

This could’ve been better but I’m dep*essed 🤪✌🏼

pairing: ??? scara’s ur captain and ur a soldier

tw: language, he’s ovbs humiliating u

wc: 382 yikes

You could feel the burn in your thighs the higher the stairs went. Looking over to the side at your friend, you kind of grimace as he seemed as cool as ever. “I hate when we get stationed here!” You whisper. Your friend shrugs as everyone keeps on. “Lord Scaramouche never lets us take the elevator like he does! Why do we have to take the stairs?”

It seemed like the stairs would never end. Your legs grew heavier and heavier with each step, your thighs trembling underneath you. But finally the peak of the stairs came into view. As expected, your captain did not wait for all of you there. “Of course he isn’t here,” you continue to complain to your friend as you reach the top. “He’s just like Captain Tartaglia. I bet you he’s up there flirting with the staff—”

“Excuse me?”

Your squad halted. You look back up at the stairs where your captain stood with his arms crossed and a deathly glare in his eyes. “S-Sir, I—”

“You dare compare me to some half-wit, inexperienced twenty-something baby who couldn’t handle being swallowed up by the abyss, ass-chasing rookie?” Scaramouche took a step down and halved your squadron to meet you face to face. “Tartaglia would’ve killed you right on the spot, soldier. You’re lucky that I choose to punish you outside of the public eye.”

You swallow a lump in your throat. His eyes were sharp and menacing. You felt sweat rolling down your skin underneath your uniform every time his eyes twitched. “I-I’m sorry sir!!”

“You wanna take the elevator so fucking bad? Then take the fucking elevator!”

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as he yelled at you. But was he being serious? “I can…take the elevator?”

Your captain smiled, almost innocently. But you knew that there was nothing sweet about his grin. “Yes, private. You can take the elevator down and walk back up the stairs once more. We will be waiting.” Scaramouche turned then to walk back up the stairs.

“B-But—”

Your captain stopped where he was on the stairs and looked at you over his shoulder. “Shut the fuck up and do as I say, you incompetent piece of shit!”

You let out a heavy sigh and grimace. “Y-Yes sir…”

4 June 2022

Today is Alia and Dafiy bday, Happy birthday!!

In the morning, I had 2 hours before my tuition, so i read a bit and watched a few tarot card videos. tuition was lovely, it was history and i learned a few things! tch praised my kbat question's answer.

Then for 10 hours i was stuck in traffic. I took rlly nice pictures. i did tarot readings intuitively to my parents in the car and we reached ipoh in 8 hours. the restaurant we wanted to go to was closed, so the restaurant next to it was packed bc the closed restaurant was like, famous! This is all for today bc there really got nothing happen

And there will come a day when you suddenly go, oh. That’s why. That’s why it was worth living and sticking around. I understand.

And then the moment passes, and you might forget again. But that’s okay, because life is an abundance of such moments. They will come back <3

Diary: 12th March 2022

today i ate breakfast (lunch) at 1 because my mom was in a meeting. i didn't eat anything for 4 hours since i woke up except for a pack of 3 month old japanese grape jelly. her meeting was so long it was about orientation for new students @ her school.

i don't get why even the teachers must attend its not like the teachers are answering the questions the parents of the children ask anyway. the people responsible for hosting the meeting could just send them the powerpoint they showcased in the meeting a day before or something.

for breakfast (lunch) my 8 year old cousin is treating us!! she got so much money in her bank account it's crazy. (don't rob her)

she took us to Soon Lee (omg a grandeur restaurant!) it has private rooms and a ballroom and a vegetarian branch next to it. (basically the same dishes owned by the same company but vegan)

they occupied this square room in the restaurant that looked like some gathering place for mafia or people who earn black money having a party. she ordered stir fried veggies (lotus, mushroom, ginko..), sweet n sour pork in yam basket, orange juice fried chicken, tofu in cut up octopus tentacles and lala soup! (the bill was rm168..)

after the bill was paid (by my kid cousin..), my M grandma invited us to sit in her house but we told her we had to catch a movie. it was at 2.20 (we haven't actually booked it yet). when we arrived at the mall, my dad went to the directory and picked 3 tickets. ONE SEAT: RM18. KIDS: RM13. like i literally watched a movie yesterday in the same cinema and they had discount for students and it was RM11 per adult. there was a RM7 price difference between the weekday an weekend! how unbelievable... (so we planned to watch the same movie in a different mall in 2 hours)

we came back to my P grandparents house to freshen up. my grandpa made steamed buns!! it looked like durian flesh on the outside but it's very tasty. i washed my hair with their cold water and it was so refreshing!!!! they collect cold tap water in a huge tub and we have a pail to collect the water and splash it on our bodies. its super convenient and wakes you up even at 6am!

at 5 we departed to watch a movie in a different mall this time. AND GUESS WHAT!!! ADULT FOR RM11!!! KIDS: RM9! and they charged me for the kid price!!! no way in hell. i am 172cm... but whatever saves my money i guess!

after i ate 1/5 of the popcorn i immediately gave the rest to my parents. no way i'm peeing in the middle of a 3 hour movie. never. during the movie i kept fumbling around in my chair searching for a position that will let me hold in my piss for the longest time possible. there was this kid who kept going to the toilet which i only noticed were 3 different kids wearing the same shirt at the end of the movie.

when the movie ended it was already 8.20. we went back home and my grandparents ordered takeout! i got cold fried rice while both my parents ate char kuey tiaw. my nana baked a sponge cake for supper which i ate because i forgot i had my teeth brushed.

applying for jobas

what happens when you apply for a job in teyvat!

includes: hu tao, xiangling, rosaria, albedo

masterlist here.

hu tao

"good evening, kid! what are you doing here?" "i'm here to apply for a job." "ohh, great! we have been so understaffed lately, it's just me and zhongli, everyone else who sees corpses everyday can't stand it!" "haha. i also see corpses everyday, so i will be fine. my whole family is dead." "oh, sorry. anyways, wear our uniform! here, 20 bucks please."

"um.. no. not before i see the salary." "sorry! err... it's $300000 mora a month." "what? are you for real? what a deal!"

hu tao smirked. after all, they only give staff such a high salary because they overprice their funerals. people who think zhongli is poor because he works here are so dumb! someone like him will not ever accept a paycheck.

xiangling

walking to wanmin restaurant, you wanted to talk to chef mao but accidentally read the wanmin restaurant poster instead.

"chef mao, i'm here to be an apprentice." "sorry kid, we don't accept any staff. me and my daughter is enough. and we certainly don't want some stranger to ruin our recipes." "by 'recipe' you mean a fucking slime secretions sandwich? hell naw ywou do your thing. i'll work for the liuli pavilion."

"fine by me. we don't need you," chef mao says.

when he said that, a girl's head popped out from under the counter.

"dadd!!! we are in need of kitchen help. if she will ruin our recipes, we can still let her cut and prepare the ingredients! you won't need to wake up at 4 every morning to shave potatoes again..." "i suppose you're right," he sighed. "welcome aboard. but before that, how fast can you cut a carrot?" "like a normal person. i'm slow, but practice makes perfect, right.."

"yes it does. now please, cut up this chicken into cubes. our popcorn chicken is very popular."

rosaria

"you? work in church? why are you even asking me? when i go to church i don't even sing with my sisters."

"well you were standing outside the church like you wanted to go inside so i thought you were a nun hiring people."

"no, i wanted to go inside because it was burning hot outside. and i was waiting for the nuns to finish singing about bartabatos." "who is that?" "you want to become a nun and don't know who that is? oh gods."

albedo

i'm truly scared of that stone faced alchemist. but i've graduated from sumeru academy, so he can't not accept me right? although i did not pass with flying colours. albedo is always wandering around collecting birds in cages and turning them into geovishaps.. how scary. but alchemy is the only thing i'm good at, and i need a job! here goes..

"hey. i'm someone who likes alchemy. wanna hire me?" "only if you're better than timaeus and won't push this green haired girl and awaken a giant dead ice flower." "umm.. surely not. that seems impossible." "well, it sure isn't. i've experienced it." "i would be surprised if you haven't. you talk about it like it's real."

"turn this boar into a lamb please, it's a test."

after a few hours, you made the boar look like a lamb. "good job. i can surely do things faster than that, but hey, at least you're better than timaeus. all he does is stand near the alchemy table and interrupt people when they want to craft something."

"i feel you... and people." you say.

3 signs you have self worth 🫵💆

(IN MY OPINION & WHAT WORKS FOR ME). WHY DO YOU NEED SELF WORTH? to develop CONFIDENCE, prevent yourself from being manipulated & to CONTROL YOUR MIND.

you can also share your own experiences! i would love to read about other people’s point of view :)) don’t be scared, we are all connected as beings inhabiting earth~; i love everyone !! 👯‍♀️💓

1. YOU DO NOT CARE 💅💁‍♀️

i do not care if i’m being too loud, cringe or hyperactive. as long as it causes no harm (mentally!), you do not need to care about other people’s opinions. though your actions need to be REASONABLE. DO NOT neglect your duties as a human!! i love being silly in class, it’s nice to vibe around while spreading love~!

2. YOU TREAT YOURSELF WELL 💆‍♀️💝

you do not do things that make you feel like shit. do not validate habits that drain your energy & bring you discomfort. addiction is bad, kids. so, treat yourself nicely & do things that benefit you! 🌟🪴 you are a plant, and you WILL water yourself with CLEAN water.

for me, i find comfort in eating, doom scrolling & fortune telling, but it makes me feel DRAINED. nevertheless, i still do it because i have yet to identify the CAUSE of my addiction: my NEED TO SELF SABOTAGE & NEED FOR VALIDATION. to treat yourself well, provide YOURSELF with the VALIDATION you need. nothing will be found outside yourself, what you need can always and will only be found within.

3. YOU CARE ABOUT WHAT YOU EAT 🍽️

i dont know why, but eating healthily (veggies) give me such confidence and comfort! it is so therapeutic for me to eat veggies. you also have to identify what food makes you feel like shit. for me, it's cookies and snacks. AVOID WHAT MAKES YOU FEEL LIKE SHIT!! unless you do not mind feeling like shit. as they say, you ARE WHAT YOU EAT! reward yourself for having an awesome day with eating Healthy~ Show ya body that u Love em!!!

how scaramouche met you (au)

he was rushing to work, and you were finding people to hand your flyers to. you couldn't make a living without promoting the company you worked for, you see.

running past traffic lights, you managed to catch up with scaramouche, with him yelling at you to fuck off.

"are you interested in a debit card from our company? we have free gifts!" you said.

you noticed a street sign because you worked here 6 hours a day. you basically knew where ALL the roads led to. Since you were in front of him, you dodged it skillfully. him on the other hand, was checking his GPS.

"Girl, there's a street sig-" you started.

BONK!!!!!!!!!!!!

his hands were cupping his sore forehead.

"um, would you like to register for our weekly magaz-"

"call me an ambulance... i'll sign up for your weekly magazines if you do..." scaramouche gave in.

"hello there, mr. ambulance."

"HAVE YOU NEVER LEARNT A THING IN ENGLISH CLASS?!?!"

hahaha funny i wrote this in like june and when i look back at it it's so funny.... masterlist here!