It Is December 26th, 2024 And I Have Fully Filled Two Journals I've Owned Since At Least 2019. From Front

"Autumn is my favorite season!" Everything proceeds to go wrong in Autumn.

and i give up.

i am stressed, i am anxious, i am depressed, and i am manic. i feel like since the end of October, everything has decided to just stop being good for me, personally. yes this is a first world problem, yes i'm going to whine about it because i just spent 20 minutes crying in the shower.

finances are getting tight for multiple reasons, and of course our bed breaks and then, on queue, the car needs a pricey fix that also means we cannot drive it as often or as far as we want.

i decide that i'll make my home a little better but just fixing it up! it'll benefit us and the landlord might appreciate it! i get prepped and then find out that we were told wrong and i cannot finish the work i started. great.

trying to get my outside time and enjoying the company of the neighbor's cat! chair suddenly crumbles under me and i topple off the side of the porch. ouch.

i gave up on trying to fix the keurig i was gifted last holiday because i just cannot get it to work.

my cats have terrible breath and i am really concerned about their teeth and health. they seem fine, but the bad breath is worrying.

all of my self-development work and my work toward helping my mental health just flew out the window at the start of the month because i just felt it in my gut that something bad was going to happen and everything did at once.

all i can do is cry. i feel helpless. i have no sense of control over anything. i can't do anything to fix it all. my therapist said she was proud of me, but i can't even feel proud of myself now. i'm giving up. i just don't know what to do anymore.

2020! First year of marriage to my beloved @notleriff and me doing the MOST artwork I've ever done. I had a blast this year.

"I'll set up my new journal!"

My cat:

My beloved cares not that it storms outside, only that the pile of blankets is comfy.

Allergies are kicking my butt. I feel TERRIBLE. My eyes are dry and burning, even after I use eye drops, my nose is BLEEDING from the number of times I've wiped it and blown it, and my throat feels gross... sob. I love spring but THE POLLEN.

I bought my first houseplants in 5 years today! I am so excited to finally have some nature in my home!

In a month or so, I’d like to get some lavender and cat grass. I’m going to have to stop impulse shopping from today forward. It’ll be good for me.

I finally sat down and (re)watched the first 3 seasons of Stranger Things. I love the first season, the second season was okay and still a joy to watch. The third season fell off for me and ended at a place where I thought “What else is there now? This is a strong ending.”

Then I saw the mid-roll credit scene and it annoyed me. While I understand not wanting to drop a cash cow, it feels like it is losing all the fun and mystery. I am unsure if I’ll watch season 4 and 5 for any reason except to just finish it.

I was introduced to more Sanrio characters, and I found one who shares my birthday, and I am SO IN LOVE. Mocha and Chococat are now my two favorites. It would be the chocolate pair.

🥳It's my birthday!

I don't understand why we can't have a Monster Hunter where we can just run around in the same environment and hang out. Why we can't just be bros and maybe see one another while we're doing other things. Explain.