I Made The Decision To Finally Delete Facebook. Now I Just Feel Guilty For Deleting It. Is This Part

So when Careless Whisper comes on, do we all collectively just make as loud of a sound to mimic the saxophone as possible?

We played Mouthwashing!

6/10 was overhyped. It was not a bad game, but eh. In the year of our lord and savior, Silent Hill 2, eh.

I feel very overwhelmed.

While researching and trying to learn, I have discovered there are many paths in paganism that I feel would fit me. But I cannot be all of them at once, can I? I see many people saying "take what fits and work with that!" but I have always been very structure abiding. I want something that is laid out for me plainly and guides me. I need something that is set and allows me to follow a plan.

I feel a bit anxious. I do not want to cause offense, I don't want to do things "wrong", and though the community seems to believe there "is no wrong way", I am not imaginative enough to create by myself.

I am causing myself stress over trying to find peace.

I am waning.

I feel as though I am in that final phase of the moon where it begins to vanish from the sun's light and hides for a few days - as if it's recharging.

Except I'm not recharging.

I'm simply spent. I have no motivation, no sense of hope, no desire to do anything... I just want to lay in bed and not exist. I have not contributed anything to the world these last three weeks and I'm on the edge of simply wallowing. I suppose I already am.

I have met obstacles and simply given up, neither going around them or over them. I simply sit down and accept that I cannot go any further, that I can't do anything better, that I'm not making any progress.

It's in every faucet of life. I've let it leak into my main responsibilities, but it started in my hobbies, my creativity, my self-care and health. I've gone back so many steps on simple things I've been trying so hard to do better with.

Drinking water? I gave up and now I'm dehydrated.

Walking outside? I'll just sit at my computer and scroll endlessly, hoping something catches my attention.

Hobbies? No thanks, I'll just sigh and flick YouTube shorts away over and over again.

I'm unhappy with myself. I don't feel good. I don't look good. My mental health is low. I am at a loss of how to pick myself up. I'm hoping my therapy on Thursday helps.

Thanks for reading.

November came in like the first freeze of winter. Beautiful, but cold and frustrating. I didn't take time to prepare for the change of autumn into winter. I didn't concern myself with the shortening of days and the long stretches of night. This led me into a whirlwind of panic and November clung to me like ice.

December won't be "my month", but it will be a collection of days I will work through bravely. I will continue to move forward and I know I will trip and stumble, but I have to keep my head up and I can't let those moments hold me back.

So I hope all of you welcome this final month of 2024 and all of its challenges. I hope you hold onto the happy memories of this year and use them as your strength while we coast into the next.

Finally sat and watched a movie again. The First Omen. Was pretty good, but those graphic birth scenes... wow. As someone who has an aversion to blood, they really got me throwing up over here.

I've seen the original Omen, but maybe I should rewatch it?

🥳It's my birthday!

Watched Arcane S2 and it was pretty good but I was NOT expecting THE LESBIANS to just- LADIES.

The constant switching of art styles felt like I was in an 80's music video montage. Some of it was really touching, but other parts I felt lingered just too long. Can't wait for it to crash and burn in S3!

Okay now give me Shadow Isles thanks.

7/10

So my husband talked me into playing LotRO and... wow. What a pretty game for it's age and it's so chill and relaxed. I rolled an Elf Loremaster and character creation was pretty fun. Kind of wish FFXIV had a few sliders...

Anyway, I think it'll be my slow down and just enjoy the vibe game. I mean, I'm only level 6 but... you know.

Time to overshare!

Therapy was a bit rough today, but I made it and I have goals to achieve. I'm keeping my head up.

Also considering joining a gym...