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joyce : hopper and i are getting married!

eleven : what is "married"?

hopper : it's what two people do when they both love each other very much.

*later on*

eleven : hey, mike? when are we getting married?

mike :

mya i love you… you’re the reason i got this app p.s it’s your favorite cardigan reader (i hope) sophie 😛

HEY GIRL!!!! i love you too sophie!!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Free Now

Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Summary: You’re about to get married to the man of your dreams. But the person you’re supposed to get married to knows that the man of your dreams isn’t him and instead is your best friend — your man of honor, so to speak. He might’ve just done you a favor.

Category: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: wedding themes, pre-wedding jitters, Grey’s Anatomy 3x25 “Didn’t We Almost Have It All?” spoilers, getting left (technically) at the altar, spencer being a supportive cutie patootie, reader is lowkey confusing, reader is Cristina Yang coded, reader’s husband-to-be is sweet, crying, lil meltdowns, angst turned fluff- i think that’s it

Author’s Note: in honor of 600 followers and an idea i got rewatching Grey’s Anatomy, this was the result lol so thank y’all for the love and support <33 this one’s for you :)

It was your wedding day, you were anxious to say the least. But why were you? You had the dream guy, your dream day, dream cake, dream dress, everything was perfect. Why were you still so scared?

You paced around the room, commemorating your vows to memory, or trying to at least. Luckily, you’d chosen your best friend, Spencer as your man of honor. He’d had an eidetic memory so it was so easy for him to remember your vows. You’d chosen him as a man of honor since you were probably closest to him out of everyone at the BAU. Of course, you were close to Emily, JJ and Penelope, no doubt about it — but you and Spencer had a bond. An unbreakable one.

And then it was time for the big show. Your husband-to-be waiting at the end of the aisle for you. And you stood frozen in fear at the fact. Of course, Emily, one of your more observant bridesmaids noticed you looking as white as your dress and asked — “What’s wrong?”

You completely blanked on your vows. How could you blank on your vows? Was this an omen for how shitty your marriage was going to turn out? Were you doomed for an ending like this? Oh, God, were you even ready to get married at all?

Spencer, ever so being the gentleman he was, even began reciting your vows word for word for you but you couldn’t even think. You couldn’t even move. Could you even breathe? How do you breathe? Your heart’s racing at a million miles per hour. What do you do?

And then within two minutes, your soon-to-be husband walks through those doors and makes that decision for you. It’s a decision you couldn’t make yourself. You swore to yourself that you’d be happy with Ryan. He was a good guy. He was everything you ever wanted. Right?

During those two minutes, everyone had been talking you off the ledge because you began to question if you wanted to through with marrying him. And right when Ryan walked out was when you decided you were ready.

“Oh, my gosh! I’m sorry! I’m ready now, I promise.” You tell Ryan and the man looks at you. Ryan’s giving you this look of love which is beginning to turn unrequited. As you reassure him that you think you want this, that you want to marry him, he turns to Spencer.

Ryan always respected you and Spencer’s friendship. But he couldn’t help but notice how Spencer was always around, always there at your beckon call, you’d even had him as your emergency contact. And he noticed how Spencer was staring at you as you spoke to him and how sad he looked. He’d noticed Spencer always lingering but never in a bad way. More so in a ‘I love you but I want you to be happy’ kind of way. He’d never been jealous of Spencer, no. In fact, he pitied him. And maybe he was just now realizing that the right person for you all along wasn’t him but Spencer.

Ryan could tell all over your face that you weren’t ready. Not with him, at least. “I’m sorry.” He tells and you furrow your brows and look back at Penelope, not really knowing what to say. “I’m sorry, I had a freak out. But I’m ready.”

“No, you’re not,” Ryan said. “Y/n, I love you and I am so ready to marry you. But I know you’re not ready. At least not for me.” You don’t pay attention to how he slyly glances up towards Spencer.

You’re so confused. Did he not want this anymore? You were so sure you did. “I’m ready, Ryan. I will be right behind you and I-I… I think I really want this.”

“You think?” Ryan asks and you wonder what you’ve said wrong. Why is he making you second guess this whole thing? “Y/n, I wish you just knew. I love you. But I do not want to force you into becoming someone that you’re not. And if I loved you, I would not hold you back from that. So this is me… letting you go.”

And with that, Ryan walked away and you stood there. You didn’t cry, you didn’t run after him. You just stood there, confused and heartbroken? Did he just call off the wedding just moments before you walked down the aisle?

You’d gone back to his apartment that you frequently stayed at. You didn’t even know what you were going to find there. You didn’t know if you were even looking for anything at all. Maybe you just wanted to be left alone.

Penelope and JJ insisted on checking on you, Morgan sent you numerous texts, Hotch called you a few times but Emily and Rossi knew that you needed your space and suggested Spencer go and see you. Even Spencer had wanted to leave you alone, knowing you probably didn’t want to see anyone at all.

“You’re the only person she’ll open up to you.”

“Go get her, kid.”

And with Emily’s words and Rossi’s encouragement, he decides to go and see you. He knows to find you at the apartment you and Ryan shared, since you technically lived there for a while.

When he arrived, the door was wide open and you stood in the middle of the living room, looking around. You’d heard someone come in and you knew exactly who it was even before you turned to face him.

Spencer, standing there, suit clad and hair messy as ever — topping off his outfit with his mismatched socks. Even for you, he’d refused to wear matching socks. How was he always so perfect even when he wasn’t trying? You caught the confused gaze in his eyes when you met them.

“He’s gone.” You told Spencer and he looked around, wondering if there was any evidence of the fact that he was gone like he put it. “Well, let’s not… jump to conclusions. His— His stuff is still here and—”

You shake your head, “No, he had a— a vinyl collection. Any and all music from the 40s to the 80s, it’s all gone.” You traced your fingers over the dust on the shelf. And looked right on the wall. “And he had a photo of him and the family dog up there.” You turned towards the key hook and and frowned — “His grey coat with… red buttons that he never touched but kept up there is gone. I used to tease him about the fact that he never touched that coat.”

You’d learned from your years as a profiler that if everything of the person that was missing was gone, so were they. But as far as you were concerned, any and all evidence of the fact that Ryan was here was gone. It didn’t matter if he still had heaps of clothes in the closet, all of the things that made him him were gone.

But even in the fact that the man you thought was the love of your life just left you — possibly for good — somehow, you managed to utter the words: “I’m free.” And you weren’t sure why you said them. You were devastated from the blow, that Ryan was gone. He was letting you go, like he wanted to.

You start to dig your fingers into the corset of your dress, wanting to yank the thing off altogether as you pant heavily in the silence. And you aren’t sure if it’s a panic attack or the fact that you desperately need to get out of this dress.

Spencer is quick to come up to you, helping unravel the corset of the dress, trying his best to help you right here and right now. He lets you grab his hands and wrap his arms around you as you let out a sob and all he can do is hold you.

He feels terrible for how this has played out. All Spencer has ever wanted was for you to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with him. And now Ryan has broken your heart and he wonders if you’ll ever recover from this altogether.

Spencer was never really good with feelings, except to bottle them up and never speak of them again. He knew growing up that telling people what they wanted to hear was much more efficient. And he never knew how to comfort people correctly, at the very least. But with you… he knew how to comfort you. It was the best thing he knew how to do.

Spencer holds you and he tries shushing you and his lips ghosting your skin as he tells you that everything is going to be okay.

Spencer took care of everything after your meltdown. He let the team take care of telling everyone the wedding was off, but he took care of everything regarding you. He took care of your dress, stuffing it away in the closet for you not the see it. He took care of your apartment, cleaning it to the best of his ability, no matter if it was clean or not.

But most importantly, he took care of you. He wiped the makeup off your face, ran a shower for you and told you to take your time whilst in there as he cleaned the apartment.

And once you came out, he’d had the living room set up for one of your movie nights since those seemed to always cheer you up.

You started the movie night tradition on a whim after a day of work. He’d started with the fact that he’d never seen the Harry Potter franchise at work and you just about told him he was probably one of the most uncultured people you’d ever met. So, you had him come over, bought a pizza and had him discover the Wizarding World that was in fact Harry Potter.

And since then, you’d had the movie nights. Always watching something new he’d never seen, or sometimes you’d let him pick — and he’d pick movies in different languages, documentaries or an episode the good ol’ Doctor Who.

Tonight, he knew you were probably not at the mental capacity to choose a movie so he picked one of your favorites and put it on for you. And he also decided to order takeout while you were in the shower. You watched as he proudly showed you what he did and at the end, assured you that if you wanted him to leave, all you had to do was say the word and he’d be gone.

But you shook your head no. In fact, you were so grateful to him for staying. Not a lot of people would. But he did. Spencer would always stay for you.

So, you joined him on the couch, eating food and watching the movie and he later even surprised you with ice cream halfway through the movie and after your stomach settled from the food.

“Did you know that the first color television sets were introduced in 1954, but it wasn't until the 1960s that color television became widespread, with most networks transitioning to color programming by the mid-1960s?” Spencer asked, knowing you loved all fun facts that had to do with television or movies since that had been your area of expertise.

You turn to him and furrow your brows in interest. “Really?” Spencer nods, “Yes, sometime between 1946 and 1950, the research staff of RCA Laboratories invented the world's first electronic, color television system. The first color TV based on a system designed by RCA began commercial broadcasting on December 17, 1953.” He gave you that tight-lipped smile and stiff nod that he always gave you after giving you a fun fact.

You smile at him and find it grateful that he can act so normal with you — even after you just got left at the altar. But that was Spencer, being himself and pretending nothing terrible had just happened. He always did work his best under immense pressure.

You look down and Spencer catches how your smile doesn’t meet your eyes. And he doesn’t want to ask, he doesn’t want to pry but he cares about you too much not to. Spencer looks down at his ice cream and focuses on his carton as he asks — “How are you doing?”

Those four words make you turn back to him and you can tell that he didn’t want to ask the question but he knew he needed to. You look at the screen and you scoff — “Honestly?” Spencer turns his gaze back to you as you think to yourself. “I don’t know.”

“I mean, I’m devastated, sure, I… I loved Ryan. But he had a point. And he was right. He was ready and I wasn’t.” Some part of you knew why he called off the wedding. Why he knew you weren’t ready. Why you weren’t fully in the marriage like he was. And maybe you didn’t know it then, but maybe you knew it now.

Spencer leans back into the couch with a furrowed brow. “Why didn’t he think you were ready?”

Looking at Spencer, you had an idea as of why he let you go. Your profiler brain went back to that moment when Ryan said — Y/n, I love you and I am so ready to marry you. But I know you’re not ready. At least not for me. What did he mean by that? You missed how he took a sly glance at Spencer and now looking back — he did look at him when he said it.

It didn’t take a genius to know why he said it. You’d always felt some sort of connection to Spencer. You were always friends but underneath the surface, it always felt to be something more than that. You ignored it, of course, because well, you worked together and he was your friend and you could never jeopardize your friendship with him. So when you met Ryan, maybe you substituted your feelings for Spencer for Ryan instead. It wasn’t a fair thing you did. And you really and truly did love Ryan. But maybe he was letting you go because he could see you were in love with someone else. But there was no way in hell you were going to tell Spencer that.

You only respond in the way you know how, with a simple shrug. “I don’t know,” Spencer turns to you before turning back to the screen and you can tell the gears are turning in his head. “I guess, he was right.”

This causes Spencer to snap his head right back to you. Almost as if he’s eager to know your answer. “Maybe I just wasn’t ready.” Maybe I was in love with someone else, you want to add. But that would just complicate things.

“Maybe…” Spencer adds, with a slight nod. You turn to him and you see he’s put his focus right back on your movie and you study his facial features.

The slope of his nose, the way it twitches every now and again when he focuses deeply on something. His plump lips, the very lips you spend your time gazing down on when he’s not looking. His hazel eyes, that seem to turn into a golden brown the longer you stare into them. That messy mane he calls his hair, sticking out every which way. You’d loved everything about him inside and out.

And Ryan knew that. Spencer Reid was the reason the wedding was off. But you didn’t want Spencer to know. You didn’t want him to live with the guilt that the reason you couldn’t be happy with Ryan was because of him. But Ryan had done you a favor. Because it wasn’t that you were still in love with Spencer, it was the fact that he might’ve known that you two were meant to be. And Ryan didn’t stand a chance. He knew that. And maybe this was you realizing you knew, too.

“Thank you, Spencer,” You find yourself saying, reaching over to grab his hand. Spencer looks down at your hand on his before looking you in the eyes. “I’m really glad you’re here.”

There’s a truth interlinked with that confession. Spencer has some sense to what it is but he won’t pry you about it. Not today, at least. Deciding to lean further into your touch, he keeps his hand where it’s at and gives you a small smile — “Where else would I be?”

Giving him one more smile, you lean and rest your head in his shoulder like you’ve done a million times before but this time feels different to Spencer. And it definitely feels different to you.

But for now, you’d linger in the silence. Since you seemed to do so much better with that than to actually tell the truth of how you really feel for your best friend.

A Sunflower in the Graveyard

Post Prison!Spencer Reid x Sunshine!Reader

Synopsis: You’re the new kid on the block— joining the BAU during Spencer’s prison sentence and since then, he’s ignored you despite your efforts in trying to start a mere friendship with him. But when all hope seems lost, Spencer seems to show his soft spot for you when a case really gets to you.

Category: Angst/Fluff

Warnings: mentions of an abduction case, mentions of violence & SA, mentions of child murder, please tread lightly! reader taking case to heart, reader breaking down/crying, spencer lowkey being cold towards reader but opens up a bit, reader & spencer being lowkey simps for each other, spencer relating to willy wonka lmao, mentions of the prison arc and spoilers for 12x21 ‘Green Light’ and 12x22 ‘Red Light’

Author’s Note: hey lovelies, so i’m supposed to be taking a break from writing but this one came out of my ass and boom this was the result- i’m really proud of it so i hope you enjoy!

A fourteen year old girl by the name of Alyssa Carter was abducted. And the stakes were high since the BAU team knew that the first 24 hours were very crucial when it came to child abduction cases.

It’d been your first child abduction case since you joined the BAU, which hadn’t been too long. But you couldn’t lie and say this didn’t affect you. Cases regarding children were the worst for you, if you were being honest.

It could’ve been the fact that children were helpless, fragile, unable to defend themselves like adults could. How could anybody treat a child in such a cruel way? This was the reason you wanted a job like this anyhow, right? You wanted to stop bad guys from hurting people. And so here you were. After pining for this job for years, you finally got it at the expense of another agent being wrongfully accused of a crime he didn’t commit.

You’d arrived in Manhattan, where you’d been searching for a preferential child molester who’d already struck twice before by leaving the bodies of the children he’d killed and buried them near a lake stream.

Alyssa Carter’s parents were in hysterics when you got to the PD, since Emily had wanted someone with a lighter touch to speak with them. You’d been good with the families of victims, always talking to them with understanding and even shedding a few tears with them because of how empathetic you’d been with them.

You’d hit the 24 hour mark and the likeliness of Alyssa Carter still being alive was unlikely. It would only be a matter of time before you hit a wall in the case. But you kept the work up, not even wanting to rest until you catch the son of a bitch. You’d been hopped on four hours of sleep and coffee when you’d found it.

The connection with all the crime scenes — a motel six in the smack dab middle of the hunting area. And with the help of Garcia, you were able to find the motel so Emily had joined you, Luke, Matt, Spencer and JJ down there.

You’d questioned the motel employee to see if there had been any suspicious characters or any sign of a young girl matching Alyssa Carter’s features and the motel employee didn’t hesitate to give you the information of a visitor that frequented the motel often.

The name Greg Taylor would probably haunt you forever as Spencer gave the name to Garcia and she’d informed you with a disgusted tone of what Greg Taylor was fully capable of and the horrible things he’d been arrested for prior to this.

You’d found the room and Spencer banged on the door and announced that the FBI wanted to speak with Greg Taylor. It was over two minutes when the door finally opened and the man, who you presumed was Greg Taylor — stood there, skinny and lengthy, tattoos covering his body, only wearing boxers and he’d looked like a deer in headlights.

Spencer had told the man to sit down, that all they wanted to do was talk with him — when you’d heard it. A faint whimper in the bathroom. You’d decided to check the room as Spencer told the man to sit down when he tried to stop you from opening the door.

When you opened the door, you found Alyssa Carter, only in a top and shorts with tear-stained cheeks and pleading for help. You quickly assured to her everything was going to be okay and that she was safe now, quickly calling JJ on your mic and notifying her that you’d found Alyssa.

Once JJ came to retrieve Alyssa, Greg tried to lie his way out of this but you weren’t letting him off easy. Soon as he stood up, you were quick to grab him and turn him around, aggressively pushing him against the wall, telling him just what a piece of scum he was.

Spencer stood there, he’d never seen you get this worked up before over a victim. You were usually the calm and collected one but he knew you were also hopped up on four hours of sleep and coffee, despite how many times Rossi had to tell you to get some rest but you’d refused to listen.

You dug your elbow into the back of Greg Taylor’s neck, like how he manage to subdue his victims. “How does this feel, huh? Do you feel powerless? Do you feel afraid? Well so did Janet MacGee, Ellie Oswald and Alyssa Carter. But we got you, you son of a bitch.” It got to a point where Luke walked in and basically had to pry you off of Greg Taylor. “Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! L/n, just back up. Come on. It’s not worth it.”

You marched outside, refusing to be scolded like a child, despite knowing how wrong it was. You stood outside of the motel and squatted down on the gravel, taking a moment as you tried to control your angry breathing. You’d never felt this heated before, especially not about an unsub. But something about Greg Taylor made you furious. Made you want to stomp the bastard’s head into the ground.

As you calmed yourself down to the best of your ability, you registered the hand on your back, rubbing soothing circles and even the words — “Are you okay?” Even jolted you into the realization that you weren’t alone anymore. You turned with wide eyes to see Spencer comforting you and that’s a surprise in itself.

You see, you joined the team when he’d been rotting in prison — you essentially replaced him for the time being. He’d been dismissive towards you, cold even since he got out of prison. And you’d no idea why, you were nothing but warm and kind to him. So, you’d taken the liberty in just ignoring him to the best of your ability. If you were paired together, you minimized your conversations to the task at hand, not even making small talk at the coffee machine or when you happened to be sitting next to each other on the jet.

It didn’t help that you also thought he was attractive. It was already tough speaking to him as it is when you found him to be intimidating due to how handsome you thought he was. You’d tried a few times to speak with him but it seemed like he wanted nothing to do with you. So, you stopped trying. You knew when you weren’t wanted, no one needed to sugarcoat it.

But for him to come and ask if you were okay, of all people — you never expected for Spencer to do so.

“Are you okay?” Spencer repeated. It took you a second to realize you were just staring at him. You shake your head, probably from the whiplash you were experiencing with him asking you if you were okay. “Yeah, I guess.” You end up answering.

You look up as Luke takes Greg Taylor into the back of a police car. And you take a sharp breath. It’s okay. You got him. He’ll be locked up for life. You got him. “We got him.” Spencer’s voice turns into one of the mantras you’re saying to yourself internally.

And it’s sudden. You break down crying, nearly falling forward on the gravel and you would have face-planted if Spencer hadn’t been there to catch you. Your cries echoed in your ears as you felt Spencer’s arms tighten around you in comfort. For a moment, he went stiff— almost not knowing how to hold you or what to do and not wanting to mess it up— but the way you’d melted in his touch was enough to make him melt with you and hold you as you wept.

After you’d landed back home, Spencer kept an eye on you. And even offered to walk you home so you got to your destination safely. You didn’t say a word to him — maybe a meek ‘thanks’ but other than that, not a word. He didn’t say anything either and perhaps, he didn’t have anything to. So, you both relished in the silence, in his protective nature that he wouldn’t let anything happen to you while he was around.

Once you got to the door, you looked at him — wondering if maybe he’d leave soon after. He stayed standing right there and well, you didn’t want to send him off just yet, if you were being honest. You didn’t feel ready to.

“Y-You can come in,” You offered with a small shrug. “If you want.” Spencer nods at you and you unlock the door and open the door to your apartment.

You take off your coat, walking into the kitchen and placing it on the chair in front of the table. Spencer takes a look around your apartment, the scent of autumn hits him like a wave and he notices your knick-knacks around the apartment. The bookshelf intrigues him, quick to inspect it as he spots the classics such as To Kill A Mockingbird and 1984, suggesting you were a fan of English literature. He even takes notice of your VCR under your TV and the stacks of films next to the VCR— spotting tapes like The Princess Bride and Grease, also telling him that you’d liked classics and that you weren’t exactly living under a rock.

He knew that maybe he shouldn’t be profiling you the way he was doing now but everything about you was interesting. Which was why he was keeping as far away from you as he could. He was already breaking his own moral code by being here at your apartment, afraid to damage you with his ignorance.

Spencer looks over and finds you, trying to preoccupy yourself awkwardly, like you’re trying to casually deal with the fact that he’s in your apartment right now.

“I…” You quickly turn as Spencer finds his voice. “I can leave, if you want me to. I don’t have to stay.” You shake your head, dismissing the idea. “No, no, I want you to.” You find yourself admitting and Spencer bites his lip as he stares at you and you look like a deer in headlights at your eagerness. “I… I just…” You shut your eyes at the embarrassment of your next sentence. “I just don’t want to be alone right now.”

The words repeat in Spencer’s head. I just don’t want to be alone right now. And you chose him to accompany you in your time of need? Why him? He’s far too damaged for you. No good for you. But you didn’t even ask. He chose to be here. For you.

“But you can leave, if you want to.” You say, trying not to sound disappointed in your tone but Spencer can definitely tell you are, which is why he removes his brown satchel strap from around his neck and places his bag on the floor. “I won’t leave. You need somebody and… well, I can be that.” No matter how much he wants to run for the hills.

So, you opt for offering him a drink— which he declines and you ask if maybe he wants to watch something while he’s here. You decide to put on Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (since you’d discovered he’d never seen it before and well, him being uncultured just won’t do) and change into some comfy clothes and relax while he’s here.

Spencer had never seen you in casual clothing before. In your baggy sweatpants and argyle wool sweater and white socks— you looked ethereal. He’d never seen you in such a domestic light before. His stomach churns at this, the fear of getting too close to you is strong. His Adam’s apple bobs as he moves closer towards the arm of the couch, maintaining as much distance as possible between you two.

You don’t seem to mind or pay attention to the distance, at least— more so paying more attention to the film you’re watching instead of him and Spencer sits there, trying to pay attention but he can’t — not while you’re sitting next to him, at least. He figures the longer he can stare at the screen, the more he’d be able to focus but he can’t. He really can’t seem to focus around you.

As Spencer watches the scene of Augustus Gloop getting stuck into the chocolate pool, he’s finally enthralled with the film — of course, it’s totally unrealistic because how does Willy Wonka manage to have a pool full of chocolate and why are the parents of these children that were chosen full entrusting into this strange man? But in a way, Spencer finds himself relating to the whimsical man in a sense.

“I don’t know why kids affect me a lot.” You find yourself speaking halfway through the movie and Spencer then turns to you. Catching as you’re deep into thought, like you’d been thinking for a while now and you were just now voicing it. “I don’t have any of my own, I don’t know any kids. It’s just…”

“They’re young,” Spencer finds your voice, adding to your segment. “Defenseless.” He’d remembered this conversation with Morgan before he’d left. When Little Hank was a mere baby in Savannah’s stomach and how Morgan started taking these cases regarding children to heart. Spencer wondered if that had a play into Morgan leaving and he knew it most likely did. And he told him the same thing he’s telling you now.

You shake your head, “You just don’t do that.” Your voice is quiet and soft, Spencer’s not sure he’s ever heard you this quiet. Usually, you’re loud and bubbly and happy-go-lucky. He’s never seen you this sad before. But he’s discovering now that he hates it.

“What matters now is that we caught him,” Spencer tells, looking into your eyes as he speaks carefully. “And that Alyssa Carter is home now with her family.”

“Not to mention a load of trauma.” You add with a small sniffle. “What she went through—” Spencer looks down. “That’s hard for anybody. But she’s gonna make it. And she’s alive. What matters is we did our jobs and Greg Taylor can’t hurt anyone else ever again.”

You bite your lip and you nod at that. Spencer was right. You did your job, you got your unsub, you saved Alyssa Carter. You’ve done everything right. And you need to stop beating yourself up over it.

After that, you and Spencer don’t talk again. And by the time the movie’s over, Spencer looks your way and finds you asleep on the other side of the couch. He smiles to himself, happy that you’re getting the rest like you deserved. He stands up, grabbing the remote and turning off the TV and looks over towards you.

You’re peaceful as you sleep and he’s not sure he’s ever seen anything more angelic in his life. Looking at the throw blanket on the couch, he grabs it and throws it over your body so you can sleep comfortably and he looks down at you a moment longer.

He’d pushed you away. He had to keep you at this distance because he was afraid of hurting you. Prison had broken him down beyond repair. After all the crap he had deal with Delgado, this whole catastrophe with Scratch, which ended up being Lindsey Vaughn and Cat Adams. Having to deal with inmates, threatening his identity and beating him up every chance they got.

And then he met you. And you were the complete opposite of what he was now. You’d extended your hand, you gave him a big grin and the whole ‘I’ve heard a lot about you’ schpeal when you’d first met. He thought you were beautiful, inside and out — that’s how Garcia described you at least when he’d found out about you on one of her visits to see him in prison.

But he’d simply waved with a tight smile and said it was nice to meet you and walked away. After that, you tried with him, trying to say and asked how his day went but he often dismissed— only dealing with the small talk. And he’d kept his distance, not wanting to hurt you but little did he know, his absence just hurt you more.

The day you walked into the office and decided to ignore him, grabbing your coffee next to him and going about your day without a word — sent a sharp pain in his heart. He supposed that things were better now that you ignored him, that he’d finally gotten what he wanted. But this wasn’t what he wanted at all. And he knew that deep down.

And when he saw you tonight, how angry you were, how you didn’t get any rest until the case was solved, he’d wanted to comfort you. He wanted to comfort you in a way he needed back then. And when he saw you squatting with your head in your hands, he found his opportunity and he refused to leave your side until he knew you were alright. And he’d stay for as long as you liked him to.

But he didn’t want to intrude while you slept, he’d had no idea how you felt about him staying the night — no matter how much he’d like to in entirely different circumstances— so he decided the safe bet was to leave. He didn’t want to leave with no goodbye, so he’d left you a note and left your apartment quietly.

When you woke up the next morning, you found the note on the table in front of you and smiled warmly as you read it.

Y/n,

I didn’t want to wake you, so I saw myself out. I hope a good night’s sleep is all you need to feel refreshed. Adults usually need seven to nine hours a night. Anyways, I‘ll see you at work.

-Spencer :)

Hmm… perhaps the Dr. Spencer Reid, the man that barely talked to you, that hardly looked your way, that you’d found attractive regardless of everything that was wrong with him… wasn’t so cold after all.

Hello!! I just wanted to say I loveeeeeeeeeed anything for Ellie! It was soooooo cute!!! I was wondering if you were interested in writing a part 2 with the birthday party maybe with a confession 👀 anyways take care ♥️♥️

ahhh thank you so much!!! i am planning on writing a part two 🤫 maybe a part three, if we see what goes on from there that is 🙈

…… i have nothing appropriate to say 🫣

jensen is such a great dad :’)

the softest dad (◠‿◠✿)

Protector

Boyfriend!Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Synopsis: You and Spencer have been together a few months and he’s beginning to notice how often you keep your guard up and he converses with you about his concerns and so you tell him why you act the way you do.

Category: Angst, Fluff

Warnings: established relationship, spencer being a concerned bf, mentions of past physical assault, reader has ✨trauma✨, crying, kissing, mention of past trauma, dark humor (?), spencer lowkey doesn’t get dark humor, it’s cutesy towards the end, lowkey projected here sorry y’all

Author’s Note: hey lovelies! so i wanted to write another personal one-shot, i wanted to share my own personal experience on here so please tread this lightly :) i hope y’all like this one because this one did truly come from the heart. <3

He noticed it after leaving Rossi’s mansion one night. Spencer’s team had invited you out to dinner. You’d only been dating just a few months but they’d heard all about you from your dear old, doting boyfriend and were eager to meet you.

His colleague, author David Rossi had told your boyfriend to invite you to dinner over in his big mansion. You’d almost said no, that maybe it was too soon but Spencer encouraged you and well, he was good at doing that.

He’d met you at your workplace, a bookstore no less. He’d been looking for a copy of Slaugherhouse Five by Kurt Vonnegut Jr. when he’d spotted you in your natural habitat, putting more books on the shelves, dressed in an outfit you’d been comfortable in topped with converse and he was hooked.

He started coming up with excuses, just to see you and even had the courage to talk with you about where to find certain despite his excellent memory but you didn’t need to know about that, yet.

Eventually, you’d figured him out and decided to ask him out on a date to put an end to his misery.

And since then, you’d been going steady for just a few months. And it was an understatement to say that these had been the happiest few months of both of your lives.

However, there were still things you needed to figure out about each other.

Like, when it came to Spencer’s job, you knew to be supportive and realize that you weren’t the only person in the world that needed Spencer Reid. Or that you loved the winter season despite not being a big fan of Christmas.

But this was something new and something he wasn’t sure if he should be concerned about. When you left Rossi’s mansion that night with Spencer, arm in arm with him, you held your breath and kept looking around in the streetlights. He noticed it on the way into Rossi’s place as well. Spencer had parked a little far than intended but assured it wasn’t too far but you seemed to have another thing on your mind.

Eventually, Spencer brushed it off and chalked it up to you being anxious to meeting Spencer’s team.

But then it happened again. You’d both gone to the grocery store at eight o’clock, wanting to get snacks for the sleepover you’d wanted with him after a long hard week of work on both ends.

And the whole time you’d been shopping with Spencer, you’d been looking at the other customers and even tensed up on the way out at an older man sitting on a bench nearby with a grumpy look etched on his face. Spencer had also noticed how you clutched your taser in your hand until you both got to the car that night.

He’d asked you if you were okay but you gave him a small smile and assured to him — “Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I’m just not used to going anywhere at night.”

And he’d had his answer. You didn’t like going anywhere at night. It was as simple as that.

But just to be sure it was nothing more, he began to secretly study you. And this was where he started to get concerned.

He began to notice how you often clutched his arm tightly while you two walked in the park and were by yourselves. He also noticed how you took your taser everywhere you went. And how you constantly looked over your shoulder, even if you were in a group of people. He also noticed how you never strayed far, keeping close to a big group and never went alone anywhere — unless it was work and even then, you took your taser with you.

Spencer even decided to ask Morgan to see if there was anything he could give him advice on and even Morgan didn’t know how to respond to that. “To be honest, I’ve never dealt with anything like that. The best thing you should do is just talk to her. See what’s up.”

So, Spencer waited. He waited until it happened again. And it did, you’d met up with him after work since you were going to his place tonight and you surprised him by going to the bureau — since Penelope had wanted to see you and who are you to deny the sweetest woman in the goddamn world?

He’d led you both back to the parking garage. And he noticed how even though the parking garage was empty, you still kept your guard up and kept looking over your shoulder.

So, as he drove back to his place in your car — he told you he was driving, no questions asked — he struggled with how to begin the conversation. You could tell something was up by the way he kept staring at you in the car. But he didn’t say a word.

And then, you both arrived back to his apartment and he still couldn’t say anything to you. I mean, he was talking to you but there was something behind his eyes that was holding something back.

It wasn’t until you both sat down on his couch, watching a movie and catching him stare at you every few minutes that you paused the movie and finally asked him what’s wrong.

Spencer crinkles his brows together, “What? Noth-Nothing’s wrong.” He tells.

“You’ve been staring at me since we left your workplace. And normally, I appreciate your gaze but right now, it’s freaking me out.” You explain and Spencer looks down, he never really did have a good poker face and he’d been known to slip up quite a few times. “Tell me what’s wrong?”

Spencer opens his mouth but you rake your fingers through his chocolate locks and all rational thought seems to go out the window. But he knows that you guys need to have this conversation since you’ve confronted him on it now.

“Are you… okay?” Spencer starts subtly, hoping on this being a way to start the conversation about your recent behavior he’s noticed.

“I am great, Spencer. Are you okay?” You ask with a small smile. A smile he loves seeing on your face. A smile he appreciates and wants to see everyday. A smile he envisions seeing every night before he goes to bed. He nods, “I’m okay. It’s just…”

Spencer sighs and maybe it’s just time to rip off the bandaid. It’s time that you two need to talk about this like adults. Because this has gone on for too long and he’s starting to become worried.

“You’ve been acting a little… squirrelly lately. And I can’t help but notice that… every time we go somewhere at night, you’re more…” Guarded? Nervous? “On edge,” He chooses. “And you hold onto me a lot when we’re both out and— not-not that I’m complaining about that, I love when you do that but… I’m just starting to grow a little concerned because— I like you a lot. And I just want you to feel like you can talk to me if something is bothering you.”

You look at Spencer and you can tell he’s genuinely concerned and really does care about you. You’re kind of flattered that he’s noticed a lot about your behavior, despite it being a little troubling. You know it can be to other people. You’d avoided having this conversation with him, not wanting to burden him with it like other people have claimed that you have in the past. The people that had you’re no longer friends with anymore.

You sigh and you know that maybe it is best to talk to him about it. Spencer had never been one to judge and you knew that he would never ever say anything negative about your fears — however, the fear that he’d think you were overreacting was scary to face. Especially when Spencer was such a logical person already. But he wanted to know and maybe it’s best to speak out your truth.

“Okay, okay, okay,” You sit up a bit and he does the same. “But please do not say I’m overreacting or being overdramatic because I’ve dealt with that too many times already and I can’t handle it from you either.” You find yourself telling him and he shakes his head assuringly, “I’d never think that.”

You take a deep breath and look at him and all you can see on his face is adoration and concern and hopefulness. “Okay, uh…” Where do you start? “When I was sixteen, I… went to this Halloween party. And… it was my first party so I was excited. I went with a few friends and… only one of us knew how to drive at the time, so they went to go drop another one of our friends off because of her curfew and was going to come back.”

“Well, while she was gone, the party got raided by cops and a lot of people left. It was just me and this one friend standing on the sidewalk waiting for our friend to come back. But while we were waiting…” You pause, the memories coming back like a floodgate and you close your eyes. It was not a happy time in your life and you blocked it out of your memory for good reason.

Spencer could see you getting worked up about it and he puts his hand on your thigh, grounding you in a way you can’t explain. “You don’t have to do this or explain it to me if you don’t want to.” You shake your head, “No, you should know.”

Spencer almost pulls his hand away but you hold him there and he lets you, knowing that maybe you need to physical touch right now.

“We were waiting and this car… stopped right in the middle of the road and three people came out of the car, a girl and a couple of guys and they were all wearing these clown masks and… they tried to take our stuff. I thought it was just some joke so I just told my friend to ignore them and walk away but…” You pause once more and Spencer waits patiently for your sentence.

“The girl punched me. Hit me right in the nose.” Spencer winces at this, hating to imagine your pain in that moment. And he almost doesn’t want to hear the rest of the story. “Luckily, I didn’t go down. I, uh, almost tried to hit her, actually. But I didn’t know what she had, a knife, a gun… so I told my friend to run. And we both ran. That was the fastest I probably ever ran in my life. And there were these people nearby that heard us yelling and they helped us. All I remember is… my devil costume and… my nose bleeding all over my outfit. I don’t think I ever wore that skirt again.” Spencer’s heart physically hurts from that sentence alone.

“For a minute there, I felt weak. And… scared. I didn’t go anywhere alone for a while and it was bad. That friend ended up telling everyone what happened when I wanted to keep it quiet.” Spencer knows that your fierce nature never goes unnoticed by him. You were so tough, so free-willed. When you had issues with customers, they were often dealt with by your attitude and to put it lightly, you were a badass. To hear that you were vulnerable at one point made him sad because that wasn’t who he knew you as and he hated that someone made you feel weak.

“Did anyone ever find those people that did that to you?” Spencer asks, his tone calm and steady. You shake your head, “I told my parents and we filed a police report but… no one ever caught ‘em. Not to my knowledge anyway.” You inform.

“But I’ve gotten better with it, but I still keep my guard up. I hate that I have to look over my shoulder every time I’m out of the house, I hate that I have to take my taser everywhere I go, I hate dealing with this. But it’s my everyday life.” You tell and Spencer looks from the ground to you. “Why didn’t you tell me about this sooner?”

“I just… didn’t want to be a burden on you,” You sigh. “And I felt like I didn’t need to say anything because most people don’t get it. Some actually laugh because of how I phrase it.”

“How you phrase it?” Spencer asks, clearly confused because what’s so funny about someone attempting a mugging on somebody? “I always say… I almost got mugged by a few clowns.” You find yourself sheepishly laughing but Spencer, however, doesn’t think it’s funny. “I just kinda started making a joke of it. I figure it’s the one thing I can do to deal with it. Dark humor, I guess.”

“I don’t think it’s funny,” Spencer said. “Something worse could’ve happened to you. It’s already bad enough you got punched in the face.” He explained.

“It was a really long time ago, Spencer. I’m okay, now.” You remind him and he takes a sharp sigh, “I know. I just hate the fact that you went through that. That everyone makes a joke of it, that no one else seems to care about the fact that you got hurt when I care so much about that because you deserved better than how you got treated.”

You take a deep breath and a weight is off of your shoulders. Part of you is glad you shared that with Spencer finally but another part of you is scared to be transparent with him about your fears. But the way he’s reacting sets all of those fears aside. He was the person you needed when you were sixteen and suddenly, you want to turn back time and tell your teenage self that everything is gonna be just fine.

“You’re such a sweet and good person,” Spencer takes his hands to your face, holding you lovingly and close. “I don’t understand why someone would want to hurt someone as sweet as you.” He mutters to you.

Suddenly, you fall forward, holding him tightly in a hug and he accepts the hug rather quickly holding you. He feels as your dig your face deep and droplets on his neck. Are you crying?

He pulls back and looks at you face, wiping your tears away with his thumbs. “I’m—I’m sorry,” You shake your head. “I don’t know why I’m crying…” Spencer gives you a soft look. “Sharing a truth, especially a difficult one, can make you feel vulnerable and exposed, leading to tears. It’s perfectly normal.” Spencer reminds you and you sniffle at this.

“Thank you for sharing that with me,” Spencer tells. “I know that wasn’t easy.” You nod, “You deserved to know. I know I’m not the easiest person to deal with but—” He interrupts you with a chaste kiss on your lips. He’s gentle and loving, in every way, shape and form. “You are very easy to love. Don’t you dare think otherwise.”

Spencer holds you close that night. You continued watching your movie and had fallen asleep on his shoulder and he kept his arm around protectively. He watched you as you slept, vowing to never let anything like what happened to you at sixteen, never happen to you again so long as he could help it. He’d protect you until the day he died. He’d take a bullet for you, catch a grenade for you, he’d sacrifice never speaking again if it meant saving you. He’d never let anyone hurt you or even dare to touch you.

And he’d wished to take your fears, your guard and your trauma away just to see you feel happy and carefree. He hates that it’s all so normalized with you because of what you went through. And he swears to make you feel as safe as you need to be while you’re out. He’ll start going to stores at night by himself, he’ll keep on being your knight in shining armor, he’ll keep being the protector you need him to be.

“I love you, Y/n,” He whispers, saying the words he’d dare not say until he was ready to say them to you. “And I will always protect you.”

LOOK AT HIS ASS BRO 🤯🤯🤯