Rick Riordan And Cassandra Clare Can Write 20 Books With The Same Theme And I Will Still Buy Them .They

So the gods are notoriously bad parents, but have we considered what it would be like if they acted like normal parents?

Zeus: AS LONG AS YOU LIVE UNDER MY ROOF YOU FOLLOW MY RULES

Thalia: under your-? YOU MEAN THE SKY?!?!

Or

Athena: I believe it's probably about time we have... the talk

Annabeth: bold words from a virgin goddess

Or

Hades: when I was your age my parents never gave me handouts. I had to work for what I wanted

Nico: your dad literally ate you, I -

Or

Poseidon: if your friends jumped off a cliff would you?

Percy: so... this has happened and I'm gonna let you know now that it will happen again

Or

Will: just gonna say that Aunt Artemis doesn't force her huntresses to go to music lessons...

Apollo: If Aunt Artemis is so great then go live with her!

Will: if I was a girl I would

Or

Aphrodite: Because I said so

Piper: jokes on you, I have charmspeak too

Or

Pluto: Another dog? We have a dog! One could argue that we even have three. Besides, who is gonna end up taking care of this dog? Me. You and Nico aren't responsible. Besides, dogs are expensive. You know, money doesn't grow on trees-

Hazel: because...i can get it from the ground??

@ me

Athena: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Ares will and will not eat.

Persephone: Grass? Yes!

Athena: Moss? Yes.

Persephone: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Athena: Shoelaces? Strange, but true.

Persephone: Worms? Sometimes!

Athena: Rocks? Usually no.

Persephone: Twigs? Usually!

Athena: Aphrodite's cooking? Inconclusive!

Apollo: How did you… test this?

Athena: You just hand them stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if they eat it, they eat it.

Apollo: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Aphrodite: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Sassiness level 100

Percy: Sir, why do good people die young?

Chiron: When you are in a garden full of flowers, which ones do you pick?

Percy: The ugly ones

Chiron: Exactl- wait, what, why?

Percy: Because ugly bitches don't belong in my garden

HAVE Y'ALL SEEN WHAT'S ON THE BACK OF THE TOWER OF NERO BOOK???

The ones with Poseidon and Hades are sending me.

Hades: send Nico to do it! He's a real hero!

Poseidon: pls leave my son alone

Happy birthday Jason!

(NO, I'm not gonna include the Burning Maze)

The Greek Gods as Salem:

Zeus:

Poseidon:

Hades:

Hera:

Artemis:

Apollo:

Ares:

Athena:

Aphrodite:

Dionysus:

Zeus: Crabs really just sit on the sea floor and do fucking nothing all day huh

Zeus: "oh shit uhhh looks like it's time to use my claws to pick at whatever fish remains have fallen down here today... the same thing i always do"

Poseidon: you got pinched, didn't you

finished reading the caraval trilogy and now i feel empty

Jason: The name is Jason Grace

Jason: But you can call me *seductively pulls off glasses*

Jason: Legally blind