Yes I Am

Interesting perspective

“Wife Sharing IMPORTANT: ALL WIVES INTERESTED IN UNDERSTANDING MEN SHOULD READ THIS! The Hotwife Phenomena - The New Threesome By: Dr. Sherry Lee, Ph. D. From: Psychology Today (Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior. She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.) What Has Spurred the whole Hotwife Phenomena? Although motivations for the Hotwife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common. First let’s get this out of the way. The Menage a’ Trois is out, it’s yesterday’s news, and most women are glad to see it go. Why? Because for at least the last hundred years or so we women have had to indulge this male fantasy (usually with our best girlfriends as the second woman) and frankly guys, we’ve had enough. No, we don’t really like to perform oral sex on our best friends just because you think it’s hot, sorry. We’re not lesbians and even though it looks like we like it in every porno you’ve ever seen, the last thing that turns us on is watching you, our boyfriends/husbands screw another woman right in front of us. We just aren’t wired to like that. It’s biologically programed into us not to like seeing our mates mating with other females. On the other hand, we women know that a lot of you men out there DO like the idea of watching us, your girlfriends and wives, get it on with another male while you either watch or better still, join in. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Polls show that more and more women, especially those in their late thirties and older, who are passed or passing their child bearing years, say that the threesome they do find extremely exciting is the kind of threesome so called “Hot Wives” are having and that’s the MFM or Male-Female-Male threesome. These women are hitting their sexual prime during their late thirties and early forties and many of them like getting attention from younger males. These women don’t want to cheat on the men they love, they want to have their boyfriends and husbands to let them be the sexual creatures at the peak of their sexual powers that the media has falsely convinced men happens when women are in their twenties. It’s just not true. While many males my be suffering from a drop in their testosterone levels in their forties and feel like their sexual peak is a distant memory, the women in their lives are just getting warmed up, maybe even hot! What is a Cuckold? A husband who is a cuckold is aware of his spouse’s activity, most likely actively encouraging it and derives sexual pleasure from it. Biologist Robin Baker speculates in his book “Sperm Wars” that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. Baker believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to “compete” with the other man’s sperm. While this is just a theory it may help explain the desire by many men to have their wives sleep with other men. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife’s sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a “fallen woman” or even a “whore,” in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard. Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom. At the same time, some cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among the majority of these men, they want they wives to be known as “hot”, “sexy”, and “not hung up about sex,” or even “great lays.” Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men. Also, the husbands involved often pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can’t get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man’s wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is very “hot.” In most cases sex within a Hotwife marriage is just that. Hot. Women in the Hotwife lifestyle report having higher than average self esteem, they report far fewer incidences of infidelity on the part of their husbands, an above average libido, and overall feelings of being attractive, especially to younger males. Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy “good sex,” and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to “not disappoint” and “to be good in bed.” Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening.” This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn’t prepared to handle it. But for those men who have always thought that their wives were not only devoted to them but should be admired, even lusted after by other men, it is a dream come true. Contrary to the most commonly held belief that all cuckold husbands are by default the submissive type with a small penis inferiority complex, most of these men are actually extremely confident in their masculinity and their “manhood”. They also report having no desire to have sex with other women. Their hotwife is almost always the sole focus of all their sexual fantasy and activity. In my experience, this may be the only class of men who can actually be believed when reporting this. In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men “in the know” that she’s a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she’s available for sex. Women As Sex Objects? Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so. Most women have lived their lives trying to act “like proper women” and shunning men “who have one thing on their minds.” Now, according to one woman, “I let guys know I like sex.” Thus, she may soon get beyond, “what other people will think” and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men. Usually it’s the Husband’s Idea All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife. According to one husband, “I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she’s ‘available’ even though she’s married to me. But now I really get off on having a woman that guys think is hot and who they want to have sex with. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives. In a very good way.” According to another husband, “…as far back as I can remember in our marriage, I’ve always been turned on and excited by the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sexual attention she can handle. …She and I feel closer and more attracted to each other because of all the attention she gets from men. Especially the younger guys. They all think she is hot and they’re right! My wife feels that as long as we are together when she’s with another guy, everything is OK. It’s a huge turn on for both of us.” From her husband’s perspective, he has long ago ridded himself of the “fallen woman baggage” that pervades most of our culture, the fact that his wife is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and sometimes has sex with other men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband’s resolve to “treat her right” although most husbands with hot wives already have a sort of “wife worship” fetish you might call it. They tend to buy their wives pretty clothes, take them out, and tell them how attractive they think they are and make them feel that they are attractive to other men. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives. A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him. The Woman’s Perspective Women have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, “I’ve got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to have sex with a guy I find attractive, all I have to do is tell my husband and I have the freedom to do it. For me, having my husband there is a huge part of the turn on. Knowing it excites him makes it more exciting for me. Of course I’m excited that a younger, good looking guy wants me and thinks I’m hot, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But just sleeping with another guy without my husband feels more like cheating than a turn on. Some women go on dates without their husbands and a lot of husbands are OK with that. For me, I want my husband with me. I want him to see me being taken by another man. It’s really hot, for both of us.” At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with. The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes or tell her to go out without wearing any panties. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually “hot” may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same. The husband will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with his wife. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, “I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens.” The Quintessential Issue What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement. Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn’t. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners. This can be a problem in a work environment where “character” is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the “wife as the husband’s property” notion says that a husband should keep his wife “under control,” and if she has affairs she definitely isn’t “under control.”) While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won’t have this concern. All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won’t be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now. Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the “justifications” for dissolving relationships and an ever increasing divorce rate. Links: http://ccucksm.blogspot.com/ http://hotwifeblog.com http://www.ourhotwives.org”

—

(via

blindfoldcreampie

)

I’ve reposted this before, but it’s still a good read if you are thinking about getting into this.

(via wifessecretdesires)

That's something very interesting to make wife slutty even in conservative upbringing

YOU WANT HER TO DRESS LIKE A SLUT?

One of the most fun and exciting aspects of the slutwife fantasy and lifestyle is when the wife starts dressing like a slut in public. There are a few reasons why both men and women could find this very exciting. All the sexual attention will be focused on her which will draw into many primitive reproductive aspects for both husband and wife. In a sense, she is out and looking to mate, which brings out hormonal responses from her body, the husband’s body, and the other people looking as well, creating a chain reaction of excitement throughout the place. Sexual energy is amongst the most potent human drivers for accomplishments, status, beauty, power, etc. but we will talk more on that on a later post. For today, let us focus on the topic, a girl dressed like a slut brings out a lot of benefits for everyone around her. To summarize briefly, you want her more, she boosts her sexual confidence, and every guy wants to test his luck with her.

It goes without saying, everyone wants to look good and everyone wants to be with someone who looks good. So what is the issue? Why isn’t every single wife out there not dressed like a slut? Why do most men who fantasize about the lifestyle complain that their wives refuse to dress slutty like they ask them too?

These are all good questions who’s answers could vary slightly from one girl to the next. In general, it comes down to her self view, which tells her that she is not looking to mate.

To grasp this perspective, why are teenage and college girls more willing to wear slutty clothing than married women? There are a variety of factors, but in general terms, those girls are looking to mate on a hormonal level. They seek attention and are willing to show more to get it. So shy do most lose this when they get married? Well, because she is no longer competing for a sexual partner to mate with. She no longer needs the same raging hormones to drive her to seek the perfect mate.

There is a lot of evolutionary and psychological factors as to why this happens this way, but we won’t dwell on that since this is not science class. What is important to know is that her being married is not an end to your dream of seeing her dress like a slut. Below, we will cover some good guidelines to use so that you can help your wife to go from dressing like a prude to dressing like a slut.

1. Tell Her Why and Go Slow - As with anything regarding a person you love, this is not about manipulation, this is about doing something together. So tell her what you would like and why. Wording is key. Do not say, “I want to you look like a cheap hoe”, say, “I love your boobs and wish you would show them off a bit more. Why? Because you think she is hot and you love knowing you have something every other man wants. You love how empowered you feel when you can tell every guy desires her and how you get to take her home. You love how good she looks and you want her to feel as beautiful as possible. Do not expect her to go out looking like a slut just because you asked, this may take time, so give it to her. The more prude she has been, the more insecurities she may need to overcome, so don’t rush it.

2. Build Her Up - Confidence in her body will be one of the biggest obstacles women will face. So before trying to rush her into wearing a thong bikini, build her up. You should always be complimenting how good X body part looks and how hot you think she is. This only gets you so far, so getting her into increasing her exercise and fine tuning eating habits will go a long way over time if you both do it. Celebrate small accomplishments and ensure you compliment how she is looking much better. Her hair, nails, time at the spa, massages, etc are all ways to pamper and build her up. Think of her as being a slutwife already, so worship her body, treat her right, take her out, and love her. A happy wife is a sexy wife, and a sexy wife is a slutty wife.

3. Start From The Inside Out - Before ever attempting to have her wear that slutty attire outside, have her wear it inside just for you. She needs time to process how she looks dressed like that, so don’t rush it. Appreciate her effort and let her know how much you love the way she looks. She may be happy dressing up a bit for you at home, but even if she wants to, she may need time to build herself up to go out showing. This could be in a physical and psychological sense as well, so take your time with her at home. A second factor to starting from the Inside Out is her underwear. When it comes to going out, she is much more like to wear something sexy under her clothes that you know about but others don’t. For example, she is more likely to wear some really sexy lingerie underneath her normal clothes than she is to wear a micro dress. So as far as going out goes, start by asking her to dress sexier under her clothes and work your way out. Example, have her wear a blouse that she normally wears, but now with a push up bra. A skirt she normally wears, but with a thong.

4. One Thing At A Time - Unless she is open to it from the start, do not go trying to get her into a micro dress that covers less than a bikini. In other words, do not have her show everything at once. Ask her to focus on a specific area first. Assuming she has big boobs, have her wear a push up bra under a tight blouse that hugs her boobs without showing skin. Then you can progress to having her show off her neck with another blouse still wearing that pushup bra on another occasion. On a later date, she could show the top of her chest. Then a slights glimpse of cleavage. Etc. If she is more of a leg/butt girl, she can start by wearing a sexy thong under a long and loose skirt. Over time, her skirts should get slightly shorter and tighter. This application goes with jeans, going from loose to really tight and torn, to shorts, to micro shorts and skirts, etc. Bikinis, from one piece, to more revealing one piece, to two piece, to small bottoms, to thongs, etc. You should get the point now. Again, this is not a race, do not rush. Start from the Inside out, get her comfortable, pace yourself, and let her flow.

5. Talk About Reactions/How Proud Are You? - When she does go outside wearing something sexy she normally wouldn’t, make sure you compliment her before even stepping out. This builds her ego and confidence. Once out, take note of guys that check her out. Once back in the safety of your car, home, or someplace distanced from the guy, bring it up to her who you saw checking her out. You want to wait for the right moment so that she does not become self-conscious about it. Just tell her who you saw, what they did, and how proud you are that she is so sexy, and how much the whole thing turned you on. If possible, finish this off by eating her out and give her the orgasm of her life. Condition her to associate dressing sexy = male attention = orgasm, this will get her going the right direction.

6. Give Her An Excuse - If you want your wife to dress like a slut, give her an excuse. In other words, take her out. You want her to spend over an hour getting ready to look her sexiest, make it worth her time. Promise and deliver on a nice dinner and night of dancing (See post on Dancing). Make her correlate dressing up sexy with fun and attention, and she will want more of it. Also, take her to places where there will be other guys who can check her out, and remember to tell her what you saw afterward and how much it turns you on. Other excuses for her to practice wearing less are Halloween, role playing sex, trips to the beach, faraway vacations, etc. the more you give her an excuse to dress sexy, the more she will do it. The more she does it, the more attention she gets, the more you pleasure her.

7. Go From the Outside In - Assuming she became comfortable wearing certain slutty clothes out in public but she has reached her limit, now you must go from the outside in. So lets assume she has become comfortable wearing a short skirt that just covers her butt. She may have reached her current limit and may not want to wear a skirt any shorter than that because she would literally be showing part of her butt. Do not try to fight this, just flow with it. You can still buy her and ask her to wear a shorter skirt, but tell her to wear it at home for you. Same applies for blouses with cleavage, etc. wherever there is a limit, ask her to wear it at home. The second aspect of going from the outside is that once she reaches her limit of what she is willing to wear externally, you focus on what she wears internally. That is, her underwear. We covered pushing into getting her to wear sexy lingerie as often as possible, so assuming she is already doing that, focus on getting her to go bra less or panty less while still wearing clothes within her limits. Remember, only focus on one thing at a time, so don’t ask her to go and get rid of all her bras and panties, you will only ask her to either not wear one or the either until she is ok to move on. However, remember the end goal is not for her to be bra less or panty less, the goal is to get her comfortable feeling sexy and looking slutty. So if a push bra makes her feel her sexiest, stick to that.

8. Push Her Geographical Comfort Zone- As stated, we use the privacy of our bedroom as a safe space to start from. She should feel comfortable enough there to wear just about anything in front of you and know you will enjoy it. The next step is making her confortable in the living room. When she becomes comfortable wearing something for you in the bedroom, start guiding her into wearing it for you in the living room. The best way is by taking her there for sex. Then you can ask her to get you a glass of water while wearing her sexy clothes (the kitchen). Then you can move on to stepping into the backyard to hangout at night with the lights off. Then front porch at night with lights off. Then taking her for a drive at night. Then picking up food at a drive through. Asking her to go pay for something at a gas station. Etc. You repeat this process during daytime hours as well. The point of this is getting her comfortable wearing sexy clothes for you and expanding the comfort she feels in the bedroom to the rest of the world. Never make assumptions that just because she wore something similar or less clothing on one occassion, she will be comfortable wearing something else next time. With each item of sexy clothing, plan on starting at the bedroom and take any immediate progress as a blessing. The more comfortable she becomes with slutty clothes, the easier this will be.

9. Dont Be Cheap/Invest in Her- There is no way around this. If you want her to dress slutty for you, you can’t be cheap. She is not going to dress as sexy as she can for you to take her to McDonalds. She is not going to feel confident wearing a dress you picked up at the dollar store. She is not going to be feeling very sexy with those 2 dollar panties from Amazon. She is not going to look forward for a date at a truck stop dive bar. If she is going to put in the work, show her you will too. So buy her a nice sexy dress that she will feel excited about trying on for you. Buy her that sexy lingerie that makes her feel like a sex goddess. Get her those high heels that she has been staring at. Invest in her. Now don’t go broke either, don’t sacrifice your livelihood trying to make her a slut, cause it will have the opposite effect. Plan accordingly and invest money in buying her nice and sexy things you want her to wear for you in public. For training purposes only, you can buy her cheaper and sluttier stuff she will only wear in the bedroom, but don’t be cheap when expecting her to wear something out in public for you.

10. Let Her Go Alone - When she is comfortable wearing something out with you, ensure she is comfortable wearing it without you. Meaning, if she wears something sexy at the bar with you, go to the restroom and leave her alone a few minutes. Let her experience how safe she is being alone dressed like that. If someones hits on her, tell her how sexy she is and how much it turns you on that every guy wants her. When possible, ask her to wear something sexy to work, even if it is just lingerie. Ask her to wear a sexy skirt next time she goes shopping. Have her wear one of those new smaller bikinis at the pool. Have her wear those shorts you love around your friends. Create personalized scenarios where she wears her sexy clothes, then give her time alone with other men. Show her you are not jealous, you trust her, and any attention she does get only turns you on. The more she gets to do this, the more confortable she will become around other men who check her out.

These are some general guidelines to use to get your wife to dress sluttier. Notice that these are guidelines with no particular order, they are meant to be used simultaneously and adjust as needed. I can not guarantee that your wife will dress like a cheap prostitute waiting to get picked up, but if you follow these guidelines, your wife is guaranteed to dress sluttier than she currently does. Furthermore, you will begin to condition your wife to expect male attention and correlate it with pleasure, just like those slutty college girls do. This will have her opening up more to other possibilities.

Hi. How are you doing today. Sorry for invading your privacy. Your blog looks fascinating and kindly Dm if you’re interested being in a sugar relationship 😊

Where are you from

Sure I willl

Quick question?!

Yes plz tell the question

Hi 👋 awesome and amazing post ❤️ I love it ❤️ 😍 will we chat 💛 ❤️ 😍

Yes looking forward

My dream for hotwifing activity

Pachu M. Torres

Agree

Hotwifing explained in mind blowing way.....never ever someone as explained hotwifing as clear as this

This is a new alternate blog started because Tumblr has designated my original “The Hotwife Blog” as explicit, thus almost everything I post is flagged/removed unless it’s extremely tame.

This blog is about the Hotwife phenomenon. I began researching the subject many years ago seeking to understand what about a Hotwife was so sexually exciting, and if I was crazy for wanting my wife to be one. Was there something screwed up in my head, that my wife having sex with other men turns me on? At the time I had no idea there was even a term for my fantasy. I found out that not only is it the most common fantasy men have, but it is also a lifestyle that is much more mainstream than I ever imagined. I also found a lot of confusion and conflicting information.There are a lot of wife sharing lifestyles, many of which overlap or share some of the same basic ideas, but too often the Hotwife lifestyle and cuckold lifestyle are depicted as being one in the same. In actuality they are very different. Unfortunately, Tumblr is probably the worst offender at spreading misinformation. It is full of captioned photos linking cuckolding and Hotwifing. Not to mention most of these photos are of young women with perfect little bodies fucking hot young guys with big cocks, which doesn’t represent reality for most people. Add to that captions saying something to the effect of how the husband is a sissy and needs to lick the cum off her when she gets home, and you can get a really distorted view. I understand these are fantasies, but anyone looking for information about the lifestyle, especially women, could be immediately turned off before having a chance to explore the true lifestyle. I hope to clarify the classic Hotwife lifestyle with this blog. The following is a compilation of information gathered from across the Internet along with my own experiences and preferences. Hopefully, for anyone who happens to stumble across it, this blog will give a little clarification into this quickly growing phenomenon.

First let’s define the Hotwife. A “Hotwife” is a happily married woman who has the freedom to have sex with other men with both the permission and encouragement of her husband. However, while the wife is free to play with others, the husband remains completely monogamous to her. The husband is turned on by his wife’s sexual exploits. The wife’s sexual pleasure should not be confused with romantic feelings for her sex partners. The other men just are sexual adventures, she loves her husband and both spouses understand the distinction between love and sex.

The hotwife shouldn’t be confused with other forms of wife sharing lifestyles including swinging and the aforementioned cuckolding. Swingers are typically couples that enjoy having sex with other couples, so both the husband and wife have sex with different partners. The term “cuckolding” is tossed around quite a bit these days and while “Hotwife” is often used synonymously with the term “Cuckoldress” within that lifestyle, it is a different idea. Cuckolding, while also wife-centric, focuses on demeaning and abusive behavior towards a submissive husband whom usually considers himself sexually inadequate. Where Hotwifing could be considered the polar opposite of cuckolding. It focuses on the wife’s experiences. Hotwives and their husbands are motivated by the sexual thrill, for its own sake. The exhilaration she gets having sex with other men and knowing that this excites her husband. Humiliation has no part in it. Recently the term Stag, for the husband, and Vixen, for the wife, have starting to be used to further define this lifestyle and distance it from Cuckolding.

Clearly, the Hotwife concept is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness, so it’s no surprise most wives are shocked to learn of their husband’s desire. At the same time, most husbands wouldn’t allow their wives to become Hotwives. Although they may entertain these thoughts in fantasies; possessiveness, jealousy and cultural conditioning ultimately prevail. However, we know that some husbands seem to handle this without ill effects on the relationship. The jealousy often still exists, but comes out in their sexual excitement, rather than through fear or anger. And some husbands seem to just be immune to jealousy, either by virtue of their own personality, or by their confidence in the security of their relationship and the love they share with their wives. Surprising to most people, couples that participate in the Hotwife lifestyle aren’t unhappily married couples that have fallen out of love and are just looking for a way to fuck around. In most cases, the couples have been together for a very long time and are very much in love. They still have great sex just maybe not as often as they would like. By exploring this lifestyle they experience more physical and emotional intimacy and end up having better sex, having it more often and being more adventurous when they do it. That being said, these types of relationships are not for everybody. Many couples may dip their toes into these waters, and yanked them out again, because of jealousy and fear. Furthermore, if you have an unhealthy relationship, venturing into the lifestyle is just asking for trouble.

So why would a husband who truly loved his wife want to see her with another man? There are many answers and it varies from husband to husband. I think most are voyeuristic in nature, but the underlying answer is that it’s his love and deep emotional connection with his wife that’s at the core. It’s his wife having sex with others that excites him; not strangers having sex with which he has no emotional connection. He gets turned on seeing his wife excited and feeling free, in the throes of passion achieving greater sexual pleasure through the attentions of more than one man. It makes her more appealing and naughty, basically letting her inner slut out.

So why would a wife who truly loves her husband want have sex with other men? As with the husband, there can be many reasons. For some, they like feeling desired or they may enjoy being seduced. Others may simply enjoy the opportunity for sexual variety, the excitement of new sexual experiences, the “forbidden” nature of what she’s doing and knowing that it excites her husband. In many cases it improves relationships communication and intimacy, as well as, supercharging her sex life with their husband. Some women may immediately embrace the opportunity for sexual freedom, but most will take some time to weigh how it will affect her marriage and your feelings toward her. Many wives will suspicious that you have some ulterior motive… that its just a ploy for you to later say that since she is fucking other guys, that you should be able to fuck other women too. In this case, it will take time for her to truly believe that this is not your desire. It should be noted that, of course, many wives are not interested in becoming Hotwives, even though she may enjoy sex and may have had numerous sexual partners before marriage, and may even enjoy Hotwire role play, actually being a Hotwife is just not something she will ever be comfortable with. In this situation the husband should not push his wife into doing anything she doesn’t want to do. If for no other reason than it defeats the idea of the fantasy, but more importantly it will most likely damage your relationship.

Hotwifing has several levels of involvement by the husband. The arrangement between each husband and wife will be specific to them depending on the couple and what they prefer. There are no set rules; it depends entirely on the partners to set the boundaries and limitations. The wife may meet other men alone. The husband may never know or meet the other men. She meets them on her own, and makes all the arrangements without any involvement from her husband. The other men may or may not know about her lifestyle, or be aware that the husband knows about them. They may not even know she is married, if she chooses to remove her rings and pretend to be single. Sometimes both the husband and wife meet men together. The husband could even be the one who finds other men or helps make arrangements for the wife to meet her “dates”, but the husband is not involved in any sexual activities between the wife and the other men. Other wives will have sexual relations with other men in her husband’s presence, or even engaging in sexual play that involves all three, as part of threesome where she first has sex with the other men and then her husband, or both with her at once. Whatever the level of involvement, the husband is turned on by his wife’s sexual exploits, whether this happens with his direct involvement or with him just watching or hearing her recount later when she returns home from a date.

The rest of this blog consist of a collection of inspirational images collected from across the web that I believe embodies the true spirit of the Hotwife/Vixen lifestyle.

Want to do this....

So you want to talk dirty but you have no clue what to say?

Dirty talk is an awesome way to explore your fantasies in a safe environment, but it can also be a daunting task if you’re not used to expressing your sexuality in such an explicit way.

What do you say? How do you say it? And how do you know he’ll like it?

Diclaimer: the following advice reflects our kinks and likes but the principles can be used for any fantasy you want to talk dirty about. We’re very much into hotwifing both of us. Basically he enjoys to watch me being fucked by a hung guy. He’s not into humiliation or being put down, but he do like to hear that another man can give me just as much pleasure as him, sometimes even more. For me, I enjoy walking that fine line where he’s a mix of horny and jealous. I want him to be horny thinking of me cumming over and over again, but I also love to know that it does sting a little bit when I tell him that a bigger dick can turn me into an obedient little slut and make me cum instantly.

Some safety rules.

First thing first. We don’t want your dirty talk to turn into a stupid argument, so let’s get some safety rules down first.

• Talk about what he like and doesn’t like beforehand. What I’m writing in this post is based on our likes and kinks, and they are not universal guidelines. You should always talk to your husband and find out exactly what it is he would love to hear from you. It’s important to keep this conversation non-sexual, so you get an honest answer, not a horny answer.

• What is said in dirty talk might not reflect real life. This goes both ways. Dirty talk is a great way to explore fantasies and boundaries, but not everything said when you’re raging horny is valid when you’re not. If something is said that surprises you, talk about it after. And remember, you’re going make him REALLY horny, so he might express fantasies or thoughts that is just that - fantasies and thoughts, and not necessarily something he wants to act on. In the same way you need to be clear about how you’re also just exploring your own fantasies as well as his, and might say something in the heat of the moment that you don’t necessarily mean or want to act out in real life.

• This is dirty talk, not a lie detector test. You’re allowed to exaggerate to increase his enjoyment, but I strongly advise you to reveal the truth after he’s had his orgasm so you won’t create a distorted image in his head.

What dirty talking is not

Dirty talking is not overthinking how to phrase the perfect sentence. In fact, once you start articulating your husband’s fantasies, I guarantuee he will be so horny he couldn’t care less how well you phrase it. Just the fact that you’re talking about his fantasies means that he’s too busy trying to keep his orgasm back to even care. Just relax and say something. Anything.

Don’t rush it

The goal with dirty talking is of course to make your husband have an amazing orgasm, but do not rush it!

I’ll dare say that for your husband the process and the talk itself is way more exciting than his orgasm. So take your time and let him  enjoy and simmer in it.

Don’t worry about repeating yourself

You might be thinking “but I already told him that story 3 times, I can’t think of something new”. Don’t worry about that, just tell it again. Trust me.

And now…. Without further ado here are my secret dirty talking methods that’ll make your husband lose his mind.

And then what

I find that the biggest obstacle in dirty talking is how to start it. That first thing you break the ice with. It can feel a bit awkward at first, but you’ll quickly get the hang of it. I’m a big fan of something I call the and then what technique. Basically you just start with a rather innocent question or statement and then evolve into the next natural thing that would happen. So you say something, and then pretend someone asks you “and then what” and then you answer that question.

So let’s pretend for a second you’re on top of your man, riding him cowgirl style and you want to spice it up a little.

Simply starting with a “you like the way I fuck you?” Is enough to break that awkward ice. He’ll answer yes of course. And then what? “then imagine how Mark (using names of actual guys you know works amazingly) would feel if I fucked him like this”

And then what?

“I would bounce up and down his cock just like this. He’ll get to feel how tight your wife’s pussy is”

And then what?

“then I want him to….”

You get it.

Reliving the past

My husband is very much into hearing stories about guys I used to fuck so this one is his favorite type of dirty talk. The way it goes is when I give him a handjob, blowjob or even ride him, I would say something like “you like the way I stroke your dick?” (asking if he likes it is always a great way to break the ice and initiate dirty talk without feeling awkward). This always gets me a very enthustiastic “YES!” to which I answer something like “this is exactly how I used to stroke [name of guy I used to fuck]’s cock…” (pause for dramatic effect) “except… His was a lot bigger than yours”. This line alone is usually enough to almost bring him over the edge, and if not it’s a great way to go into more details - how did it feel to stroke a much bigger dick, would you do it again, perhaps the guy used to get so horny that he would fuck you before you could finish the handjob, etc. Details, details, details, I can’t stress it enough.

Fair warning: not everyone is into hearing about your past! Make sure your husband is into that before springing this on him.

The commentator

This one is super easy because you don’t feel like you’re talking dirty, you’re just saying what’s on your mind. So the way it works is to watch porn with your man and simply make comments about the movie paying. Particularly about the guy and what you like about him. Compliment his dick, go into details about what you like about him, think out loud like “I really wish I could get fucked like that one day” / “look how big his dick is. He would make me cum so fast with that”

If you’ve fucked someone who reminds you of the guy, by all means tell your husband about it. Watching a porn with a guy who’s fucking some girl senseless and hearing your wife drop the bomb that the guy is the exact same size as some dude she dated in college is a sure way to make your husband look at the porn and all he will see is you being fucked right there on the screen. Very hot for both of you.

The yes ladder

This is a really simple but very effective technique that is easy for new dirty talkers and is guarantueed to drive him crazy.

In a nutshell what you do is ask him some questions that all leads to a yes. With each question the intensity in what you’re asking increases. There’s something crazy hot about this almost confessional way of talking dirty and being “forced to admit” your deepest fantasies. This is a great way to get yourself going, and to test out boundaries.

Optional: let him know ahead of time that you’re going to ask him questions and if he says no just once, he don’t get to cum. See what he’s willing to say yes to - just remember these are forced and horny yesses expressing what he likes in the heat of the moment. They don’t necessarily count in real life.

Example of a yes ladder.

“you like this huh”

“would you like it if i did this to another guy?”

“would you let me pick any guy i want?”

“what if i want a guy who’s bigger than you, would you allow that?”

“do you want him to fuck me hard?”

“what if he makes me cum really hard, can you handle that?”

“what if he makes me scream out his name, can you still handle it?”

“can I fuck him right here in our bed?”

“would you allow me to fuck someone I’ve dated before?”

“even if he really knows how to fuck me good?”

“what if I want him to fuck me while you wait in the other room, will you do that?”

You get it, just continue like this. Make the questions increasingly more provocative and test his boundaries, maybe even cross them if you know he can handle it.

The O-bomb

This method works extremely well if you’ve been teasing and playing with him for a while, keeping him right on the edge and he’s SO close now that you can make him cum any second.

All there is to it is asking him “do you want to cum?” he’ll answer yes almost pleading. And that’s when you drop the O-bomb. The O-bomb is some of the blue thought you put into his head and force him to cum to before he can even react.

For example: he just said yes he wants to cum. You then say “good. I want you to cum while you think of me cumming all over (name)’s big dick” and then you simply force him to cum before he even gets a chance to react. As he’s cumming you keep feeding him the thought over and over until he’s done. “yes, cum while you imagine how he makes me scream” etc.

The story

My personal favorite. One thing is to talk about imaginary stuff that could maybe some day happen. Another is to talk about stuff that actually already happened simply by telling him a story about some incredible hot sex you’ve had, either because the circumstances where hot, because the guy knew what he was doing and fucked your brains out or the guy happened to be seriously hung.

This is also super simple for you because you dont have to make anything up, you simply just tell what happened and describe the situation.

Don’t worry about elaborate descriptions or anything. Trust me he’ll ask you to elaborate when he hears something he likes. Just describe what happened and how it felt for you. Especially the “how it felt” part is very important.

The talk

Now in the safety rules i told you to talk about what he likes and dislikes without touching him so his arousal won’t reflect his answers. This time you do the exact opposite. Simply have a conversation about what he likes while slowly touching his dick. There’s something really hot about just talking while casually stroking him. And you’ll be able to measure his response simply by the way his dick throbs, which is incredibly hot.

How to start it: just casually ask him a question about his likes and as he answers you slowly start touching him while asking him more questions.

The close your eyes and imagine

Sometimes it can be a lot easier if your husband can’t see you when you talk dirty.

Example:

“close your eyes. Do you like my hands on. Your dick? Now imagine i was doing this to another guy. Stroking his big dick just like this. I would be so turned on knowing it isn’t you. My pussy would want to feel him inside me. Imagine how he would push me down and fuck me. Imagine how i would gasp when he starts to stretch me. How I would scream when he goes deeper than you.”

Do you see how the above also make use of the and then what technique to tell the next part of the story?

Putting it all together

Now, I know reading about it and actually doing it is two very different things. When you’re first starting out I actually advice you to plan out your dirty talking. This might not be as sexy and spontaneous, but while you’re still getting the hang of it it’s nice to be a little prepared so you don’t run out of things to say. I would also advice you to start off doing it while giving a handjob, as you will have a much easier time focusing on what to say than if you were giving a blowjob or having sex.

Let’s break the ice with an innocent “do you like the way it feels when I stroke your cock?”

When he says yes I would then say something like “good…. Now close your eyes” wait for him to do it.

Then: “would you like it if I did this to another man?” - “yes”

Then: “you know, [name of ex / bull / fantasy guy] used to love when I stroked his dick. Of course his was a lot bigger than yours, I could barely close my hand around it”

Then: “do you like that, thinking about how I used to stroke his big cock?” - “yes”

Then: “having that big cock in my hands always made me feel so tiny and horny”

Then: “do you want me to show you how I used to suck him?” - “yes”. Then put all your effort into giving the best head you have ever given.

Then: “mmh… Can you imagine how good his cock must have felt in my mouth? I used to suck him just like that until he came in my mouth”.

By now he should be getting pretty close, so it’s time put on the finale. Ask him “do you want to cum?” - “yes”. Start stroking him faster.

“tell me…” - make him say that he wants to cum.

“I want you to cum while you think of me getting fucked by [name]. He would always make me cum so hard. Imagine how I used to scream his name” - if you really want to go all out you could start moaning the name of this other guy, whether that’s your bull, an old fling, your husband’s friend or who ever you like to fantasize about.

Do you see how easy it flows from do you like it, to imagine it’s someone else, to describing how you used to do or would do it on someone else?

With time it will come naturally and you won’t have to plan ahead, but to begin with it’s nice to have an idea of how you want to start it, how you want to end it and how you bridge that gap.

There you have it. My secrets to driving your husband wild. Now go… Make him lose it.