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“Wife Sharing IMPORTANT: ALL WIVES INTERESTED IN UNDERSTANDING MEN SHOULD READ THIS! The Hotwife Phenomena - The New Threesome By: Dr. Sherry Lee, Ph. D. From: Psychology Today (Dr. Lee has lectured and published in the area of analytical psychology, and she developed one of the first electronic systems for the quantitative analysis human behavior. She started her counseling work by leading gestalt therapy groups. Apart from this, her several decades of professional experience has been largely limited to urban, affluent, female subjects.) What Has Spurred the whole Hotwife Phenomena? Although motivations for the Hotwife phenomena actually cover a wide spectrum, here we’ll cover a few of the most common. First let’s get this out of the way. The Menage a’ Trois is out, it’s yesterday’s news, and most women are glad to see it go. Why? Because for at least the last hundred years or so we women have had to indulge this male fantasy (usually with our best girlfriends as the second woman) and frankly guys, we’ve had enough. No, we don’t really like to perform oral sex on our best friends just because you think it’s hot, sorry. We’re not lesbians and even though it looks like we like it in every porno you’ve ever seen, the last thing that turns us on is watching you, our boyfriends/husbands screw another woman right in front of us. We just aren’t wired to like that. It’s biologically programed into us not to like seeing our mates mating with other females. On the other hand, we women know that a lot of you men out there DO like the idea of watching us, your girlfriends and wives, get it on with another male while you either watch or better still, join in. Surprised? You shouldn’t be. Polls show that more and more women, especially those in their late thirties and older, who are passed or passing their child bearing years, say that the threesome they do find extremely exciting is the kind of threesome so called “Hot Wives” are having and that’s the MFM or Male-Female-Male threesome. These women are hitting their sexual prime during their late thirties and early forties and many of them like getting attention from younger males. These women don’t want to cheat on the men they love, they want to have their boyfriends and husbands to let them be the sexual creatures at the peak of their sexual powers that the media has falsely convinced men happens when women are in their twenties. It’s just not true. While many males my be suffering from a drop in their testosterone levels in their forties and feel like their sexual peak is a distant memory, the women in their lives are just getting warmed up, maybe even hot! What is a Cuckold? A husband who is a cuckold is aware of his spouse’s activity, most likely actively encouraging it and derives sexual pleasure from it. Biologist Robin Baker speculates in his book “Sperm Wars” that the excitement and stimulation of the cuckolding fetish emerges from the biology of sexuality and the effects of sexual arousal on the brain. Baker believes that when a man thinks that his female mate may have been sexual with another man, the man is prompted by biological urges to copulate with the female in an effort to “compete” with the other man’s sperm. While this is just a theory it may help explain the desire by many men to have their wives sleep with other men. He may value the relationship and not want her to jeopardize things because of the deceit and secrecy that normally accompany affairs. In short, he wants to know about and approve any extramarital sex, and even have some control over it. The cuckold husband wants his wife’s sexual encounters with men to be for sex only, with no marriage-threatening emotional entanglements. The mass media often cast beautiful and desirable women as both sexy and prone to sexual liaisons. Whereas this type of woman used to be considered a “fallen woman” or even a “whore,” in some minds she now seems to represent an enticing new standard. Some women used to brag about how they could avoid marital sex, and despite the views of some radical feminists, such women are now suspected as being man-haters, latent lesbians, or simply having personal problems. Now, many women find a certain excitement in being viewed as sexually liberated. For some, especially some older women, there may be a certain ego gratification in still being viewed as being sexually desirable — even discretely promiscuous. While holding to the security of her primary relationship, she may revel in experiencing sexual freedom. At the same time, some cuckold husbands want their wives to appear ladylike on the surface (in public.). But, among the majority of these men, they want they wives to be known as “hot”, “sexy”, and “not hung up about sex,” or even “great lays.” Although this type of wife was once considered a threat to husbands — and it still is to most — the more psychologically secure males believe that a healthy and well-adjusted (and desirable) woman enjoys sex, and has the right to be just as open about it as men. Also, the husbands involved often pride themselves in being secure enough to handle a hotwife. He may even brag to another man about how his wife loves sex and can’t get enough (which, not coincidentally, may be very much in contrast to the attitude of that man’s wife). Implicit in the comment is that the husband has no problem with this, and that, in fact, he thinks his wife is very “hot.” In most cases sex within a Hotwife marriage is just that. Hot. Women in the Hotwife lifestyle report having higher than average self esteem, they report far fewer incidences of infidelity on the part of their husbands, an above average libido, and overall feelings of being attractive, especially to younger males. Many women realize that other women regularly enjoy “good sex,” and although many wives have grown ambivalent about sex within their marriages and are reluctant to try new things, these barriers frequently fall with the expectations of new sexual partners. With new men there appears to be unspoken desire to “not disappoint” and “to be good in bed.” Even though she may have started to have doubts about her sexual desirability, as a hotwife she will find that men are again interested in her. For some women this can constitute a kind of new “sexual awakening.” This transformation can be quite disturbing for a husband who isn’t prepared to handle it. But for those men who have always thought that their wives were not only devoted to them but should be admired, even lusted after by other men, it is a dream come true. Contrary to the most commonly held belief that all cuckold husbands are by default the submissive type with a small penis inferiority complex, most of these men are actually extremely confident in their masculinity and their “manhood”. They also report having no desire to have sex with other women. Their hotwife is almost always the sole focus of all their sexual fantasy and activity. In my experience, this may be the only class of men who can actually be believed when reporting this. In some circles a woman may wear a bold ankle bracelet on her right ankle to tell men “in the know” that she’s a hotwife. (At the same time, most women who wear ankle bracelets do so without realizing the possible significance.) Once seen as a hotwife, she may flirt with select men, making it clear that she’s available for sex. Women As Sex Objects? Many women feel that being a hotwife turns a woman into a sex object. This seems to be primarily based on the premise that enjoying sex is a masculine prerogative. However, more and more women are finding that this is not so. Most women have lived their lives trying to act “like proper women” and shunning men “who have one thing on their minds.” Now, according to one woman, “I let guys know I like sex.” Thus, she may soon get beyond, “what other people will think” and concentrate on the pleasures of the sexual experience — in particular, experiencing regular orgasms. This is often bolstered by the excitement that surrounds the culturally taboo aspects of a married women having sex with other men. Usually it’s the Husband’s Idea All of this notwithstanding, the cuckold husband/hotwife phenomena is typically the idea of the husband who not only knows about the high number of female affairs, but is even sexually excited by visualizing another man having sex with his wife. According to one husband, “I had to really change my view about how a wife is supposed to be, especially with guys finding out she’s ‘available’ even though she’s married to me. But now I really get off on having a woman that guys think is hot and who they want to have sex with. Fact is, instead of being embarrassed or defensive, I brag about how she loves sex, and then I casually mention that this sure makes her a lot different than most wives. In a very good way.” According to another husband, “…as far back as I can remember in our marriage, I’ve always been turned on and excited by the idea of encouraging her to let guys give her all the sexual attention she can handle. …She and I feel closer and more attracted to each other because of all the attention she gets from men. Especially the younger guys. They all think she is hot and they’re right! My wife feels that as long as we are together when she’s with another guy, everything is OK. It’s a huge turn on for both of us.” From her husband’s perspective, he has long ago ridded himself of the “fallen woman baggage” that pervades most of our culture, the fact that his wife is pursued by men, makes herself available to men, and sometimes has sex with other men, introduces a bit of competition for her. This can strengthen the husband’s resolve to “treat her right” although most husbands with hot wives already have a sort of “wife worship” fetish you might call it. They tend to buy their wives pretty clothes, take them out, and tell them how attractive they think they are and make them feel that they are attractive to other men. He may fantasize about a powerful (safe) man sexually awakening and dominating her, and forcing her to break free of sexual inhibitions. Some husbands know how exciting a new sexual partner and experience can be, and want to offer some other men this experience with their wives. A husband may also fantasize about having a wife that is, to a degree, driven by both a physical and a psychological need for sex. Visualizing or seeing first-hand other men meeting this need in her —but only with his permission— may excite him. The Woman’s Perspective Women have a different perspective on being a hotwife, of course. According to one woman, “I’ve got a sense of freedom in enjoying the company of men and not being paranoid about a jealous husband, or even being worried about what people will think. If I want to have sex with a guy I find attractive, all I have to do is tell my husband and I have the freedom to do it. For me, having my husband there is a huge part of the turn on. Knowing it excites him makes it more exciting for me. Of course I’m excited that a younger, good looking guy wants me and thinks I’m hot, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. But just sleeping with another guy without my husband feels more like cheating than a turn on. Some women go on dates without their husbands and a lot of husbands are OK with that. For me, I want my husband with me. I want him to see me being taken by another man. It’s really hot, for both of us.” At the same time, the hotwife does not want jealousy or resentment to ruin her marriage or threaten the unusual freedom she enjoys, a freedom she knows that very few husbands would be willing to grant. Therefore, she needs to be careful to be totally open and honest to her husband about her lovers. This means that there will be no secret conversations or secret meetings with men. It may also mean that the husband may want to approve of the men she has sex with. The cuckold husband may want his wife to announce her sexuality by wearing revealing clothes. For example, he may accompany her to a night spot in a distant city and have her dress in ultra-revealing clothes or tell her to go out without wearing any panties. This can serve to get them both used to the resulting male attention. Rather than being jealous, having a wife that is seen by other men as sexually “hot” may provide him with an ego boost. (Dare we suggest that for some men hot wives are replacing hot cars as a source of pride.) Thus, while the male and female motivations might be quite different in the cuckold husband-hotwife phenomena, the ultimate goal can be the same. The husband will have to deal with meeting men who have had or want to have sex with his wife. To compensate for any suspected loss of his virility, the husband may remind others of his own previous sexual escapades. At the same time to prove his lack of jealousy, he may freely admit to men that his wife regularly enjoys sex with different men, and he may even subtly offer her to select men. According to one man, “I like to set things in motion like that just to see what happens.” The Quintessential Issue What may seem desirable for the husband or wife while under the influence of testosterone, libido or fantasy, may later seem like a huge mistake. The result may be regret and marital estrangement. Clearly, the cuckold husband/hotwife idea is at odds with cultural conditioning and human tendencies toward jealousy and possessiveness. Although these traits may not be desirable, they are the norm and must be recognized. Even assuming that both partners are okay with going in this direction, most of society isn’t. With most people there is still a sigma associated with a promiscuous wife and a husband that lets his wife have extramarital sex. Most people who find out about this will respond negatively toward both partners. This can be a problem in a work environment where “character” is a part of job performance and promotion considerations. (A common male chauvinistic attitude with roots in the “wife as the husband’s property” notion says that a husband should keep his wife “under control,” and if she has affairs she definitely isn’t “under control.”) While many couples are able to keep their sexual activities private, they may live with the fear that they may be found out. At the same time, self-employed people who live in large urban areas, or people who work around like-minded individuals probably won’t have this concern. All this being said, given the ever-increasing number of affairs, and the emerging attitudes about condoned affairs in countries such as Japan, one wonders if somewhere down the road to cultural enlightenment U.S. society won’t be ready to accept open relationships. We seem to be in the early stages of that now. Although the transition will certainly be bumpy, if we are able to shift our emphasis to love and commitment to hold relationships together, rather than the refutable doctrines about sexual exclusivity which simply cater to jealousies and insecurities, it would not only eliminate much heartache, but it would remove many of the “justifications” for dissolving relationships and an ever increasing divorce rate. Links: http://ccucksm.blogspot.com/ http://hotwifeblog.com http://www.ourhotwives.org”

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I’ve reposted this before, but it’s still a good read if you are thinking about getting into this.

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An open letter to my Wife and all other Ladies

If your man has had the courage to tell you that he wants you to fuck other men, stop tormenting yourself with the morality of the situation and worrying about whether he loves you, or if this is a ploy for him to have sex with other women. If he is like the other 99% of us who have had the “talk”, then what he wants is for you to experience pleasure and for you to share that pleasure with him in some way.

Each of us are different, pleasure for me is not humiliation, it’s the raw sexual ecstasy that I want her to feel. The thought of watching her pussy stretch around a very hard, thick cock, and makes my cock throb, my breath short, and my lust intense. I can almost feel the pleasure that she would experience between her legs, almost as if my cock were her pussy. I assure you, wives and girlfriends, that this request by your man is an act of love and admiration and is staunchly centered around his lust for ONLY you. In fact most men who want this, rarely fantasize about anyone else but you. You are the center of their sexual fantasies and desires. You will not be “unfaithful” by carrying out this act of love for your husband/boyfriend. Faithfulness is what is in the heart, not a physical act. The words “slut” and “whore” are often used by him referring to you in a loving way…this is what he wants you to be, at least in our secret sexual world (none of your friends and family need to know). The idea of you being promiscuous serves to heighten his desire for you a great deal.

So please, whisper in his ear that you are ready to become a slut for him. Tell him that you want your pussy to be fucked and filled with cum while he watches and then you want him to slide his cock into you and deposit his own load into his little slutty whore. Do it for him, do it for you, free yourself and your sexual desires. You’ll never turn back and wonder why you took so long to get there!

I would love to hear your thoughts ladies and hubbies/boyfriends!

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How To Ask Her To Become A Slutwife

There are only 2 ways that a wife can become a slutwife.

The first is initiated internally, within her. Internal drive is something inside of her makes her desire to sleep with another man, to have attention from another, to seek a relationship outside of marriage. Internal drive is often the cause of cheating and also a great indicator of slutwife potential. Internal drive is absolutely necessary for a good slutwife.

The second is initiated by external influence. External influence is done by things that influence her internal drive and eventually make her seek the attention of another man and look at the possibility of sleeping with another. External influence can lead to cheating when the husband is not involved, but can lead to a very good slutwife/cuck style relationship when the husband is very involved.

That being said, you can safely assume that her internal drive needs to be kicked in, while simultaneously being a big part of her external influence, in order to get the slutwife of your dreams.

Now, there is only one realistic way of activating her internal drive and being her biggest external influence, you have to ask her to be your slutwife. Why? Because if her internal drive was raging, she would have asked you or already be cheating on you. If that is the case, you don’t need much from this post. For everyone else, it will be up to you to make it happen. You have to push forward.

When people ask me during private conversations, this is usually the biggest hurdle they have trouble getting over. How to ask?

Asking out of the blue can be very intimidating to most, because that is what most envision asking the question. In reality, there are many ways to lead-up to asking the question and warm her up to the idea. Here we will cover a few.

1. Let’s Watch Porn - Contrary to what some think, women can enjoy porn as much as men, they just perceive things differently. We have a natural curiosity towards sexuality and anything taboo, so exploring through porn is very common. Set up some time with your partner to explore porn together. Find out what she is curious about, see if there is something on her mind. If she mentions something, explore that topic. If she doesn’t know, guide her towards your goals. Topics like hotwife, threesome, size queens, and BBC are good starting points. When watching a video on a hotwife, mention how hot you think the scenario is and how much it turns you on. If watching BBC type video, mention how hot you think it looks watching a white woman being a slut for a black man, how black men seem better equipped for porn, and how they seem to have better endurance/stamina. Remember, regardless of the topic, only explore one topic at a time, give her mind time to absorb the idea. Towards the end of the video when you are both feeling hot, mention how you think she could do things better than the girl in the video, to give her a perspective of herself in that situation. Finish by giving her some very pleasurable sex and saying that you can’t wait to set up another night like that. This type of activity will open up the floor for bringing up the idea of her having sex with another man after doing it a few times.

2. Someone hit on her - If you are with a woman who’s looks rate anything above a 1, chances are she will be getting hit on at some point. You may witness it, or she may tell you about it some time later. The point is to be excited about it when she tells you, and ask her to give you every detail. You can then proceed to eat her out and give her a proper orgasm as you mention little suggestions where she could have done more. (Little things are her smiling more when she gets hit on, giving her phone number, adding him on facebook, wearing something slightly more revealing, etc.) This will teach her that you are cool with her having attention from other men, it turns you on, and that you think about her taking it slightly further. By eating her out while talking about it, it aligns these experiences with other good and pleasurable experiences, thus building a correlation between being hit on and pleasure. This opens up the doors for her to seek more attention and eventually pushing further. As far as asking her to be a slutwife when the time comes, you can go back to one of these scenarios and mention how you imagine her going all the way, how hot the idea sounds, and what are her thoughts on doing it in real life.

3. Asking her to Show Off More - You can always ask your wife to show off a bit more, then compliment her on how hot she looks. This doesn’t mean asking her to go full slutmode right off the bat (we will cover more on how to get her there in another post). You will simply ask her to show off a bit more. For example, have her pull her blouse down to show off a bit more cleavage, or let her skirt ride a bit higher than normal. Go out with her and mention how sexy she looked, how you caught a few guys staring, and how much it turns you on. This will no doubt bring a “Aren’t you jealous?” Your reply will be that you are not because you love her, know that she is yours, and that it turns you on when other guys admire your sexy wife. Tell her how proud you are to show off how sexy she is and that you do not believe you should keep such a beauty all to yourself. Over time, as you get her to dress sexier and she becomes more comfortable, this will set things up for the slutwife topic (More on that soon).

4. The Sex Shop Experience-Another way to ease her into talking about her becoming a slutwife is by taking her to an adult store. Not into a cheap small store that looks raunchy, go into an adult megaplex with a variety of stuff. The two of you will go on a date to explore different sexual kinks and to simply look around. While there, see if she is curious about anything in particular, costumes, toys, bondage, etc. and go with it. No one should know her kinks better than you, so go with it. If she is following your lead, start by going to the dvd section and explore your fantasy. Show her some BBC/3 some/ or slutwife DVD and tell her how it looks really interesting. Ask her what she thinks about it. Move on to the costumes and ask her which she finds sexiest. Go with her answers and suggest something sexy yourself, than have her visualize herself wearing it. If its something she could pull off on Halloween, mention how she should wear it on Halloween and turn some heads. Go to the toys section and see if any catch her interest. Go with it. Then point out some large dildos as well. Have her hold them and ask her how she thinks one would feel inside of her if she took her time to ease it in. Tell her how much it would turn you on to see her take one. You should aim to buy something that interests her from each section, to show her how much you lover her sexuality and want her to explore it. At the same time, you are dropping small hints as to your desires and feeling out her interests.

5. Who Would You Sleep With?-You will ask the question that if she could have sex with any one person in the world with zero consequences, who it would be. She may likely choose a celebrity. If she can speak about it openly, ask her to name another. Have her pick out about 3. If she insists that she couldn’t, then tell her that if she had to, due to a life and death situation, who would she choose. You can also apply a world catastrophe situation where you are gone and she is needed yo help repopulate the world and she has her pick of men. The only point here is to get her to talk about how she would have sex with other men. She may counter by asking you who you would sleep with. You will respond with a girl you have seen in porn as a hotwife, going black, doing a gangbang, etc. and you will say that because you would think back and ask her about that scene she did and it would really turn you on.

6. What is your Fantasy?- Last but not least, ask her what her fantasies are. It is important that you know her fantasies and curiosities if you don’t already. If you have done some of the stuff above, you might have done enough to get her curious about the hotwife scenarios, BBC, huge cocks, threesomes, etc. if not, just get to know her fantasies. When she asks about yours, this is where you tell her. Your fantasy is for her to be a sexy slutwife. Remember that you are not demanding anything, you are informing how hot you find the idea. (Go back to post #1) there is a chance she may be into it and willing to explore it further. If not, tell her how you would still like to roleplay that along with her own fantasies.

With the tools above, you should be able to ease into letting her know you love the idea of her becoming a slutwife and gives you a set up to gauge her interests. It also serves towards becoming her biggest external influence and could possibly kick in her internal drive, This on it’s own may not be the home-run, but it certainly sets things up to get her to fulfill your fantasy.