[AVENGERS SPOILER WARNING] If I Was Scarlet Witch… Just Gonna Mask My Emotions With Jokes 💥 (FX:

"Not all men"

You’re right Peter Parker wouldn’t do this

Good stuff.

Shadowed Hearts/Winter Souls (Chapter Seventeen)

MASTERLIST

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“Come home with me.” “What d’ya mean, come home with you.” James scoffed, blowing on his fingers to warm them enough to roll his cigarette. “Why would I do that?” “I dunno.” Stevie dropped onto the ground next to James and knocked their knees together. “Cos you should come ‘round and meet my Ma. S’just a few miles away and the Commander says us boys who live close enough to go home for Christmas can go. Want you to come with me.” “Don’t like moms.” James grunted and Steve knocked at him again. “Cut it out, Stevie. Gonna make me spill this.” “Give it here.” Stevie took the cigarette away from James and rolled it himself, quickly and efficiently. “And you do like moms, so quit lyin’ and come on.” “Stevie–” “Bucky.” Stevie glanced around to be sure they were alone, then leaned in and covered James’s mouth with his own for a long, lingering kiss. “C’mon baby. We can sleep on a real bed and be warm and dry and, you know–” a shy smile. “Almost two years we’ve been together and it’s about time my parents should meet the fella I’m gonna spend my life with, you know?” “Oh yeah?” The words came out a little hoarse, James’s annoyance of the nickname Bucky washed away by the love shining from those beautiful blue eyes. “You gonna spend your life with me, Stevie?” “So long as you don’t drag me back to Russia with you.” Steve inched closer and kissed James again. “You think you could stay around here with me? Learn to farm and all that? I’d let you chase me naked through th’corn fields and do all sortsa dirty things to me.”

James burst into startled laughter and Steve lunged forward with a kiss to shut him up. “Come home with me.” He breathed when they parted for air. “I love you, Buck, and I wanna spend this Christmas with you, with my fella. It’ll be the first of a hundred more we’ll have together.”

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Angelic arm, twice. Guess both my arms are pretty powerful, and apparently I skipped leg day

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

All of these books are queer, but they all have back blurbs that don’t say they’re queer. While this can be a pain if I’m scouting for queer SFF, it can come in handy for people in a situation where they don’t want to be reading queer books openly. 

Please do note that I don’t have hard copies of the books on hand so it’s possible that an author quote or something mentions one being queer (I feel like this isn’t super likely, but I don’t want to rule it out). Some might also have author biographies mentioning that the author is queer. Also, some may be shelved as LGBT on Goodreads or categorized as queer on Amazon. So if you’re planning on asking for any of these as holiday gifts, I would suggest going to the Amazon page or where ever your relative is likely to buy it from and double check that it’s something you’d be comfortable with sharing openly. 

I wish I had more pansexual books, but the ones I know of tend to mention queerness in the back description. 

With the exception of The Spy with the Red Balloon, these are all books I have read or are currently reading. If you want to recommend others, feel free to do so in the replies!

You can find my other queer book recommendations here.

Links to the queer books database (or Goodreads if the book hasn’t been added yet) are available below the cut. You can find information on content warnings there.

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Spider-Man: Homecoming’s Gag Reel

Every Version of You (Spideypool)

Uh yes. Tissues? Also, blame @paranormalmoonlight5 and THIS post for this whole thing. I didn’t have to write it angsty but I 100% did and I regret nothing. 

Seriously tissues. TW Character (Wade) Death but since its a multiverse sort of thing, the ending is still okay 

THERE’S MORE SPIDEYPOOL ON MY MASTERLIST!

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The apartment building wasn’t as nice as the one Peter and Wade shared in their universe, and Peter looked around the lobby curiously.

It was the same building– same address, same double door entrance, the lady at the front desk was still blonde and sort of shockingly busty- but it just wasn’t as nice. The rich brown tone looked about fifteen years past needing a repaint and the tiles on the floor were cracked and dingy. More than a few lights were out, several of the mailboxes bent and busted open and the elevator made a truly terrifying screech as it came to rest at the bottom floor. 

Peter got in the elevator car anyway, because it wasn’t every day he ended up blipped into a side universe and he wasn’t about to waste the opportunity to explore. Mr. Stark would be furious when he found out Peter had tested the travel chamber on himself, but Peter had very carefully set the timer for no more than three hours before he faded back to his own timeline, and he was only walking the familiar parts of this version of New York, so realistically, he was being as safe about this whole thing as he could be, right?  

Right. 

Plus, he was curious about this version of himself, curious about this version of Spider-man and curious about whether this him had met and fallen in love with one loud mouth, spandex clad, disaster of a mercenary as well and the only way to satisfy all that curiosity was to go and find out. 

So here he was in an alternate timeline, parallel universe, multi-something or other where apparently, the elevator button for the fifteenth floor had been so badly abused the entire thing fell right off and bounced on the dirty carpet when Peter pushed at it. 

Alright, so this universe had seen better days. Noted and noted. 

The hall of the fifteenth floor was dim, the numbers hanging haphazardly from various doors and the floor stained with something Peter wasn’t even going to begin to think about. He couldn’t help but wonder who owned the building and why it was in such bad repair, did this universe have different stands for apartment buildings? His own place wasn’t exactly the Ritz, but at least all the lights worked and there wasn’t –ick– rats in the hallway. 

When Peter got to the apartment that was theirs in his own universe, his key slid right into the lock, but then caught and stuck as if it hadn’t been used for some time. That most likely meant this Peter and Wade didn’t feel the need to obsessively lock their doors like he did, which was…odd… considering how gross the building was. 

Peter hadn’t actually planned this far ahead in his little jaunt through alternate timelines, he hadn’t thought about what he would do if he opened the door and Wade was in the apartment or he himself was in the apartment– what a weird conversation that would be. 

Although, if they had figured out the whole multiverse thing on his end, surely other Peter Parker’s had figured it out too, so maybe he wouldn’t be as surprised to see himself standing there as he thought he would be?

The convoluted thought made Peter smile, so he opened the door and peeked his head around into the apartment, more than ready for a look at another version of his own life. 

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I want my husband to have this accent

The Denny’s rule book: A simple guide

Denny’s is your local, friendly diner open 24 hours a day every day of the year. A place to relax and enjoy a breakfast at any hour, a fulfilling lunch or delicious dinner. All are welcome at Denny’s, and it’s your safest location, provided you follow this very simple guide for the nightly hours.

Never close your eyes in a Denny’s parking lot. 

Walk calmly to the door; you will hear sounds. Do not look behind you.

Always make sure the door closes behind you, unless it was already open when you arrived, in which case do not touch the door.

Never sit at the table farthest from the front door. Your server will sometimes try to seat you there. Politely refuse and ask for another table.

If you see a table with two salt-shakers, walk past it; that table is taken. Sit at the table directly across from it instead. 

Eat your pancakes. Box any leftovers; it would be a shame to waste food. It might attract something.

Do not, under any circumstance, look into the eyes of your own reflection in the bathroom.

If your server’s eyes turn black, do not panic; order a coffee with extra cream. Do not ask for a refill. Do not stare.

Think you recognize someone who just walked in? Best to ignore it. It’s probably not what it seems. They will proceed to sit at the table farthest from the door.

If you are walking past a Denny’s and you see yourself sitting in the corner booth through the window, keep walking. Do not eat at Denny’s that night.

Did you tip? You better double check. It’s only polite to leave a tip.

Do not ask questions. They will Notice.

Your local Denny’s is the perfect place for a delicious meal at all hours of the day. Hope you enjoy your next visit to any Denny’s Diner!

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie