Billy Resurrection Except He’s Gotta Use His Tits To Break The Cemetery Gate Open Elvira Mistress Of

we need more representation in media for people who are just dogshit at improvising snappy one liners. too many characters these days can come up with the smartest funniest thing to say in any given situation with zero rehearsal or hesitation and it's just not realistic. we need more guys who say shit like "yeah, well, um, how about you, uh, suck my dick?"

they should invent a tummy that doesnt hurt

fics were Steve calls Billy "California" and Billy calls Steve "Indiana" make me go fucking feral for whatever reason

Robin is freaking out about how she hasn’t had her first kiss yet and Steve’s like, “Hey, I’ll help you.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and he rolls his eyes, “Not with me, obviously. I will find you someone.”

This leads to a whole month where they’ll go to a party/bar/club and Steve will bring over a random man and just leave him there.

Robin is just ?????????

She feels like she’s reading this wrong because to her, it seems like Steve is implying that she should make out with these objectively good looking guy and - and - finally she explodes, “Do you know what a lesbian is?”

“Yeah?”

“Okay, then why do you keep bringing guys over to me??!!”

Steve gives her a baffled look, says like it’s obvious, “So you can have your first kiss.”

“Why?” She asks through the insanity. “Would. I. Want. To. Do. That?????! I’m. A. Lesbian.”

“…oh, Robs,” Steve says like he gets it but proves that he really doesn’t when he adds, “A first kiss feels like it’s really important but it’s not. So you just do it with anyone to get it over with.”

“I’m a lesbian.”

“So?? My first kiss was with Tommy,” Steve shrugs. “Why would you want your first kiss to be with someone you like? The first kiss is always bad.”

Robin just stares at that revelation and then looks at the clock. It’s getting late but they can be tired for work tomorrow. This is a conversation she needs to have now.”

And to wrap up my favorite sluts birthday

i love him. my squish. my love. my rat boy.

no neurodivergent infighting here

when i say “girl” randomly as an interjection i’m speaking to the omnipresent all knowing being of Girl. asking her for mercy. taking girl’s name in vain

save me characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation…..characters doing fucked up things out of self-preservation save me………..

sorry for being so obsessed with that little man who lives in my head. as if i have any choice