This

AHHHHHHSHJDJWJJWJKKSOJWICBQKDLSJDQKHJSCNKSNCKSKDNCKDNFKWKSMD WTF WHY IS THIS SO GOOD HOLY SHIT I WAS GOING DOWN THE EMYRS TAG RABBIT HOLE AND CAME ACROSS THIS AND HOLY FUCK ANDOZMISBCJAJKD

of the old religion

there are consequences to being a creature of magic, of the old religion, of power and energy given form.

merlin is not human, no matter what he thinks. the body he has is just a second skin, a coat over the tumultuous magic beneath, so that it had shape, form. he looks human, he thinks human, he feels human. but he is not truly human.

it’s why shapeshifting spells work so well upon him. he’s not changing himself, just the look of the skin he’s wearing. the magic beneath has no true form, and thus cannot be changed when it is everything everywhere all at once.

(the magic that makes merlin is the magic that makes the world, so it has no shape and to look upon it with mortal eyes would be a headache inducing, nauseating ever-shifting thing, that moves through different features of different magical beings like the water of a lake rippling.)

OR

someone with a deep connection to the old religion can see that emrys is no true human. just a creature of magic wearing a human skin, a shapeshifter that refuses to show its true form. (because people say emrys is magic, but no one truly understands the roiling thing living and breathing inside his skin. so obviously there has to be a true form of emrys underneath the image of merlin.)

so they decide to rip that human skin off. force the shape beneath to show itself. tear away the visage of merlin to leave behind only emrys, the creature that will bring magic back to the land or so help them.

it takes a lot of energy and power, and the use of ancient artifacts of the old religion that have been slowly gathering magic for centuries. but they manage it, they bind the human skin to an object, and tear the object away, to leave behind only emrys.

…

except emrys is not made for mortal eyes. especially not the eyes of someone who had hurt them and tore away their shape, their form. (because emrys, as a creature of magic, is still heartbreakingly young. a child, really. maybe that’s why merlin is still so wide-eyed all the time. still young at heart, even as his body looks older.)

so they look upon emrys and burn.

and emrys, lost and confused and hurt and not understanding— where is their body why do they hurt what is wrong with them they are constantly changing shapes and cannot control it and theyre so scared— flees to the only thing they know for sure. and behind them, amongst the mess of ash and scorched earth that once was alive, the object holding their skin lies abandoned, forgotten.

OR

arthur finds the embodiment of magic huddled up against his bedroom window. he doesn’t recognize it immediately as such, but it glows golden and cannot seem to stop subtlety changing shape and growing features that were not there before while losing others. and really, he picks up on the fact eventually.

to reiterate, arthur pendragon, son of the magic-hating king, a young man who had not yet decided if he would hate it the same, has the embodiment of magic hiding outside his window.

he shouldn’t open it. shouldn’t let the pathetic, forcing-itself-to-be-small thing inside.

it howls and cries without words, a sad and fearful air pressing down on him, begging begging helphelphelphelpsomethingswrongsomethingswrongtheytookawaymybodyarthurarthurarthurhelphelphelphelphe—

arthur opens the window.

as the magic flies in, it takes a more solid, in the loosest form of the word, form, dragon-like and small. young. it hides in the crook of his neck, tucks its head in close and shivers.

arthur feels almost like he has let in a frightened bird, it is so small and fluttery.

merlin’s gone missing and there is something small and magical and highly illegal hiding against the small hollow between his neck and shoulders.

he leaves it there.

OR

arthur holds a power he does not quite understand in his hands. he knows it is greater than its form, can feel the pressing weight of something that belies the tiny body.

he knows it is magic. perhaps that is all he really needs to know.

and then he does something that feels exceedingly foolish.

“i’m looking for merlin, my… manservant,” he begins, and the golden thing ripples like a lake in the wind, “can you find where he was taken?”

at least seven eyes blink into existence upon the roiling magical creature, all of them looking up at arthur. another blink, and then they vanish. in their place, wings sprout, some of them draconian in shape, others more bird-like and feathery.

a tail, tiny and yet impossibly strong, wraps around his wrist, and the thing takes flight, pulling him along.

the knights startle, when arthur appears, being seemingly dragged behind a creature no bigger than a songbird, and so breathtakingly magical in spite of it.

“well?” arthur asks, acerbic. “prepare your steeds. we’ve finally gotten a lead on merlin.”

OR

they find a wasteland.

there is nothing left alive in a large circle, all of it surrounding an ancient building now nothing but rubble. the life is not burned away, or diseased into nothing, or anything that could be argued as natural.

instead, it is a wasteland that magic had abandoned. that intrinsic thing within all things, alive and not, had fled this place, ushered out by a fearful and terrified little godling ripped away from the only skin-home it had ever known.

nothing lives here and nothing will ever live here.

it is an ill omen indeed.

and then they discover the sorcerer’s bones, and the fact that said sorcerer was not in fact working alone.

“you,” the only other living being in about a mile spits out like a curse, upon sighting the king, “what have you done with them? where is the being below the skin?”

none of the knights nor the king understand. the little creature of magic had hidden itself in the folds of arthur’s cape, another golden draconian insignia among the rest.

“the what?” arthur asks.

“where is emrys?” the sorcerer spits, summoning a stream of fire heading directly for the king.

magic itself, given form, bursts from the camelot red cape, all golden edges and vengeful anger, the tiny thing no larger than an arm suddenly expanding rapidly. it forms a gigantic serpent, or something like it, lithe and long, but with the beak of a bird of prey, eyes like a feline, a unicorn’s horn on its head. it eats the fire whole, and the giant form bears down on the suddenly cowering sorcerer.

“but—but we freed you,” they mutter, afraid, “we released you from the human shell containing you. how else… how else could you bring back magic…?”

the thing cannot speak, it has no way to do so. what it can do is press feeling into your head. whatever this is, it is so powerful everyone there can feel it, and perhaps even some that are much further away.

G I V E I T B A C K.

it feels nothing like the helpless pained crying that arthur had heard from outside his window, like a yowling alley cat. this monster is nothing like the little bird-like afraid thing that had hidden in his collar, tucked against his throat. this beast of dripping fangs and deadly edges is almost completely separate from the creature of fluttery wings and wide eyes.

and yet he can hear something distinctly afraid in the wailing howl.

it is still desperate and afraid. it’s just angry enough now to cover it up.

Also i love being able to mash a bunch of bots into one poly ace relationship but i honestly forget some people dont do multishipping bc the amount of times ive seen “oh i wish character a was with character b but a is already with c” like buddy, you can put them all together

Ok so i will only ship transformers in a completely asexual way or bc its funny

But i find it completely funny when another in universe character thinks a ship is like fully 18+ and then like the ship doesnt do more than hold hands

Like its an amazing dynamic

YOU

Help

My girlfriend is teasing me and im so fucking flustered and shes so confident in the teasing its making me lose my mind shes normally all embarrassed and flustered anytime someone brings up tickling and shes the most flustered lee ever omg but we were texting earlier and she asked me to tickle her which is just aksnskdjdjfjjfjrjddj i mean this is the lee that can barely say the word tickle on a regular day but she said it just to ask me and it flustered me so much gods AND THEN SHE FULLY DESCRIBED HOW SHE WANTS ME TO TICKLE HER AND IM GONE IM FUCKING AHHHHHHFHDHHFHFHFHFFH i normally ramble to her about all the ways i wanna tickle her but holy fuck reading all the places and ways she wants me to tickle her is just agajdjskxjekjjfjdjsjdisjsj im gone im so far gone im only able to talk bc i need to rant about this somewhere and i just aksnsjdjwkskdjdjjddjjdjd im so flustered i cant my body was about to fucking get up to tickle her and i had to stop myself bc shE LIVES AN HOUR AWAY SO I CANT BUT MY BODY IS STILL WANTING TO GO TO HER AND JUST AKSJSEJIEJDOSNO

Is he gayyyyyyyyy…or neurodivergent??

Both, with disabled flavored sprinkles on top

more High Hawk Season fanart because i think about it a lot

Actually wait i kinda can but its limited to chemical and temperature idk how else to explain it

Kinda like a snake lmao

But i can only tell if somethings even a little too chemical, what general temperature it is, and sometimes if its really sweet or spicy

I really wish i could actually smell my girlfriend’s perfume bc she looks amazing and feels amazing and from the little ive been able to tell tastes amazing so i have a feeling she smells great too and im too much of a nosedead dumbass to notice it ;-;

“you smell good” is a top tier compliment

WHY IS THIS ME

The way most autism literature describes "literal interpretation" is often not at all similar to how I experience it. Teenage me even thought I couldn't be autistic because I've always been able to learn metaphors easily.

In fact, I love wordplay of all kinds. Teenage me was fascinated to learn all the types of figurative language there are in poetry and literature.

But paperwork and questionnaires are hard, because there's so much they don't state clearly. Or they don't leave room for enough nuance.

"List all the jobs you've had, with start and end dates." What if I don't remember the exact day or month? Is the year enough?

"Have you been suffering from blurred vision?" Well, if I take off my glasses the whole world is blurred, but I'm fairly sure that's not what the intake form at the optometrist is asking.

Or the infamous (and infuriatingly stereotypical) "Would you rather go to a library or a party?" What sort of party? Where? Who's there? I work at a library. Am I currently at the library for work or pleasure? Does it have a good collection?

It's not common figures of speech that confound me. It's ambiguity, in situations that aren't supposed to be ambiguous.

You broke me in the best way possible. You broke me in the delicious way a voice breaks to hit different note, in the way you break in a new favorite coat, in the way a bone needs to be rebroken and reset if it doesn’t heal properly.

You broke the person I was, the person I had somehow turned into along the way, and you pulled the best parts of who I used to be to the surface. In my heart you paved the way for who I am now. You stitched together the best parts of who I was then and who I used to be so long ago.

In loving you I started to love myself, to love who I turned into around you, to love the person you made me want to be.

Slowly, you led me to enjoy the world again and I’m forever grateful

And you wanna know something?

You didn’t even know you did it,

But I’m so glad you did

Happy birthday to my girlfriend

To you: my heart, my light, and my hope (and my gayness <3)

rb to have a super gay 2023

Good to know there’s a term for this <3

IM A SFW LER! I want to see My lees having as much fun as i do

IM A SFW LER! I'll Make sure to not overwhelm You or Cross boundaries

IM A SFW LER! I don't have a Kink or fetish about it, i just find it wholesome and a fun way to bond <3

IM A SFW LER! i am a gentle kind of Ler :D

IM A SFW LER! I Make sure to check if you're okay.

IM A SFW LER! My only goal is to see your beautiful smile

IM A SFW LER! Cheer up Tickles are My favourite kind to do

IM A SFW LER! Feeling sad, don't worry! I'll put that frown upside down!

IM A SFW LER! I don't get rough because i don't wanna hurt you.

IM A SFW LER! Don't be embarrassed about liking tickles, it'll be okay!

IM A SFW LER! AND I AM VALID!

DNI IF: NSFW, KINK BLOGS, HOMOPHOBIC PEOPLE, MAPS, HATERS.

REBLOGS > LIKES!

REBLOGS helps me get My content to other people and makes me feel happy! While likes does little, literally nothing, so Make sure to reblog!

twenty years across the sea