If Yakko Wakko And Dot Were SCP's Theyd Be Classified As Keter

okay, so:

Rachel is literally one of the richest people in the country…all she had to do was say her full name and that chauffeur in botl immediately cancelled on his client to drive her and her friends around. When you add her wealth and status to the fact that she’s very outspoken about her family’s entire business and organizes and promotes multiple protests and does performance art…like. she’s popular online. no doubt.

Piper’s dad is supposed to be like, the hottest guy in Hollywood, and even though those girls from the wilderness school didn’t recognize her, he doesn’t really strike me as the type of celebrity parent to shield her from the media or events- he wants her to enjoy and take advantage of the privilege she has. I’m sure he’s got her plastered all over his social media and takes her as his date to every red carpet premiere. When you take into account she’s a Troubled Youth™, I’m sure gossip mags and anyone who likes celebrity kids is obsessed with her. 

Annabeth, since Magnus is ‘’’’dead’’’’, is legally the sole heir to her family’s entire fortune, and technically owns the building that Blitz and Hearth are running that wonderful homeless youth shelter out of. I’m sure that will get her some media coverage. 

And then we’ve got…Percy, the kid everyone remembers blew up the St. Louis Arch and I’m SURE there are still debates about whether he was really a hostage or not years later. Frank, who’s grandmother was a wealthy business woman, who hasn’t been seen since his family’s estate mysteriously exploded. Thalia and Jason, who are literally the missing children of a disgraced Hollywood starlet. Don’t you think this could…get messy?

Like…Percy popping up on Rachel and Annabeth’s instagrams, and people who recognize him are just like ‘hey what the fuck’, and internet sleuths who have been obsessed with that case look further into it, and realize Annabeth was also involved in the mysterious kidnapping/terrorist streak, then looking further into her and realizing…apart from her and her nuclear family, everyone she’s related to has died under very mysterious circumstances? Magnus was pulled out of a river with a hole burned into his abdomen. Randolph’s wife and children drowned at sea, Randolph was thrown down a cavern or something, Magnus’ mother was mauled by wolves in her apartment in the middle of Boston…like hello? Then they realize there’s no record of Annabeth like, existing, between the ages of 7 and 12, and…does this bitch even have a birth certificate? Her father’s a notable professor and author, but there’s no mention of her mother anywhere, not even a single picture, and when pressed his life long friends said he just showed up with a baby one day, without even having ever mentioned he was seeing a woman…so this baby just? appeared? one day, with no warning, and now she’s an heiress who owns a homeless shelter in a city she doesn’t live in? what the fuck? The internet sleuths started out trying to crack the mystery of the Arch Bombing and somehow opened up a whole other can of worms.

Oh, right- the bomber! How does Percy Jackson know Rachel Elizabeth Dare?! The conspiracy theorists are worried about that- maybe it wasn’t a kidnapping, maybe the kid really was on a crime spree, and now maybe Rachel is looking to take her protests up to a new level and is looking at this criminal mastermind for help. Some weirdo who knows how to use a facial recognition program and has too much time on his hands identifies them both as being present at the Hoover Dam Riots from a few years ago- the riot that lead to the destruction of those angel statues! The sleuths are then able to pull up an article tying both of them to an explosion at their high school- but with Rachel’s father’s wealth and Percy’s stepfather being a respected teacher there, it’s no wonder charges were dropped! They then find some other weird, buried reports- Rachel stealing a helicopter and flying it into Manhattan? Rachel appearing to have deranged, mysterious ‘episodes’ in the middle of class? Wait, what the fuck- Percy’s school principal reported him as a missing person, and his mother and stepfather were uncooperative with the police investigation? Then Percy showed up 8 months later and claimed his aunt kidnapped him, but wouldn’t give the police any information past that?

So the sleuths start digging into those 8 months- there’s security camera footage showing Percy, looking haggard and homeless, stealing a cop car? around the area of that huge explosion in Rome? spotted all around Greece in the days before the bombing at the Parthenon? What the fuck? 

Then, holy shit- they find footage of him and missing teen Frank Zhang getting onto a private plane less than 20 minutes after the Zhang estate was blown up?? These conspiracy theorists aren’t even barely ready for this rabbit hole. The Zhang kid isn’t very active on social media, but combing through Percy Jackson’s pages they’re able to find a few images of him. Recent, post-estate bombing ones. Most of them appear to be goofy selfies with Percy and an unidentified girl that was also spotted on the security footage with them, but there’s one group shot that catches everyone’s eyes- because apart from featuring the weird Chase girl, what the fuck is that Tristan McLean’s daughter????

So they start combing through Piper’s pages- she’s more active than the Zhang kid, but apart from posting her mugshots with goofy captions, going on rants about meat-eaters, and posting videos of her dad being weird, she doesn’t have a lot of information. Except…one internet sleuth that joined this internet search party swears she recognizes a boy that pops up in a lot of pics on her instagram. Some more digging and they got it- it’s Leo Valdez, the kid who was accused of killing his mother! He’s got some cousins that have been trying to clear his name for years now, but they haven’t been able to find him because he keeps running from foster homes, they have a whole page dedicated to people trying to track him down! They contact the Valdez family members, and they’re elated to find out he’s alive and safe- but then it becomes a question of how does he know Piper McLean and what was he doing with her, Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Frank Zhang in Greece around the time of the Parthenon bombing???

They start looking into the other two teenagers pictured with the group in Greece- they can’t find anything on the young girl, other than the Jackson kid referring to her as ‘Hazel’ in some of his posts, but the other boy…

He’s not very active online- just some aesthetic coffee shop pics, a few blurry selfies, and designs for what appears to be an architecture project at his school. But his username is ‘*disgraced*’, he’s called ‘Jay’ and ‘Jason’ in posts by his friends, he’s got blond hair, striking blue eyes, and a very specific scar on his lip…

THE TRUE CRIME COMMUNITY IS FLIPPING THEIR FUCKING SHIT. DID THEY JUST FIND BERYL GRACE’S MISSING SON AFTER 15 FUCKING YEARS?!?!?!

Sleuths completely drop the bomb plot at this fucking point, and put all their energy in finding out if this is The Jason Grace, and- they literally can’t find a record of this person before he suddenly started appearing on Piper McLean’s and Leo Valdez’ media profiles. It looks like all his social accounts were started in August of the year he would’ve turned sixteen. But he’s the right age, he looks close to the computer generated age-up pictures made for the case, and- holy shit someone found a picture on Percy Jackson’s instagram of Jason and a girl called Thalia!

People are losing their minds- this girl looks a lot younger than the 20-something Thalia should be, but Beryl Grace was known for her innocent baby-faced look, so that can explain the difference between her and the aged-up picture. Same striking blue eyes as the boy next to her, same freckle pattern splashed across her nose, same raven hair and sharp smile that made her one of Hollywood’s biggest beauties before she could even talk properly. 

She doesn’t seem to have any social media herself, but pops up in quite a few of Jackson’s and the Chase girl’s pictures. Once Beryl Grace’s old friends, who have been searching for her children for years, see the picture of the smiling siblings together, it’s nothing but tears. They’re insistent that these are absolutely the Grace siblings, and are begging the police in charge of their case to track them down. They want to know they’re safe! And the rest of the world wants answers! Where have they been for all these years!

And how are they connected to what appears to be an ongoing bombing/murder/money grabbing plot????

what is going on here?!?!?!

 All this information gets dragged up in less than a month. People are going full Pepe Silvia level crazy trying to piece everything together. Netflix has already announced a conspiracy documentary about the hunt for the truth about this band of kids and what their end goal is.

Chiron’s just sitting at Camp Halfblood watching all this shit go down like:

Annabeth’s little brothers Bobby and Matthew are going Full Feral Gen Z online to fan the flames of conspiracy, “oh yeah the first time we met Percy Jackson and Thalia Grace they stole our dad’s car and drove it off a mountain”, “one time Annie stabbed a man in front of us”, they post a tik tok of what appears to be Annabeth and Percy drenched in blood and dust cleaning off weapons??? They set an ABBA song over it??? Everyone’s losing their minds but then one day on a live stream people start asking if they know Why their sister and her friends are like this and they just dead pan, ‘oh, they’re all demigods. the ancient gods are all real and it just gets messy for their kids sometimes, Annie’s mom is Athena-” and everyone is like ah. they’re just assholes feeding us false information. (they still post tik toks like ‘put a finger down if one time your sister took you out for ice cream but then this weird man who would later hold the titan kronos in his body showed up and begged her to run away with him so he could avoid the kronos thing even though she was like 15 and he was an adult and then she pulled out a knife and told him she should slit his throat after all he’s put her through but then he called her out on her bluff but still accepted the rejection and left and then she offered to get you a second helping of ice cream if you didn’t tell your parents about that whole thing and then later the ice cream parlor was attacked by a snake woman’ lmao)

Anyway, desktop detectives keep pressuring the police and the fbi and whoever the fuck to look into this whole thing deeper and make some arrests, but they can’t, because while everything that’s been surfaced is suspicious, it’s all circumstantial. The only ones that actually have arrest records are Piper and Leo( and Leo’s was without evidence, as his cousins are still fighting to get the case reopened!), all charges on Percy and Rachel have already been dropped or overturned, there’s absolutely nothing physically connecting Annabeth and her father to their family’s deaths, Frank was never actually a suspect in his family’s fire and while the footage with Percy was suspicious it wasn’t illegal, and they still haven’t been able to physically produce the Grace Siblings or even get a phone number for either of them, so like….all that plus the occasional intervention of the Mist, even though it absolutely looks like this is a whole criminal master plot…they can’t prove it! Just taking a group picture on a boat in Greece isn’t enough to legally claim they bombed the Parthenon!

This all comes to a head when the Netflix docuseries premieres, full of the online theorists who pieced this whole puzzle together but where unable to find the last piece that would connect the whole plot and make it make sense….

Percy Jackson films a video of him and all his friends who are fingered in the docuseries watching and reacting to it. They think it’s completely hilarious. He posts the video to his youtube channel (which Sally later Murders him for) and it’s the top trending video for like…half a fucking year. 

like…the drama. the mess. the conspiracy. I want it. 

I feel old and I'm only 22

This is like those posts that talk about how humans have always been humans and have done dumb things since the beginning of time

I love this so much, I’m gonna start saying “nuts” we need to bring it back

hey really cool theory, to build on it using a point from I think @artbyblastweave edit: sorry it was @estavionpira

Etienne is always in control, his original plan with Valentina is for the two of them to rule, afterwards it’s for him to be one of the people who “really” matter, when Heavy gets shot Etienne is in a very convenient king maker position, and so on,

Now it’s not clear if Etienne does this on purpose or if it’s just a happy accident that he keeps being in power but if your idea is right and the Queen really would’ve succeeded, then maybe Etienne realized and wanted to make sure that didn’t happen to not disrupt his own power

Of course that does kinda make the whole thing a little boring if it was just “Etienne is a power hungry dickhead” but still thought its interesting

There is something about this page...

I think we're going to find out that the "Queen" did not 'choose' to enter a bad trip, and that she was pushed towards it through some type of manipulation.

The first panel looks like she received some type of relay, especially if you take into consideration the little splotch of white against the ink black backdrop, right along where the eye meets temple. It looks almost like a bloodstain. Did she get shot with a psychic bullet that gave her an invisible lobotomy? That caused her to have a personality shift in the following third panel?

My first instinct is to lay the blame at Etienne's feet. We know he has mental powers, she looks to be suffering some kind of psychic damage, and he was suspiciously... absent... in this issue. He appears in three panels, only speaks in two. What he says is that "if they have the chance (to kill her) they should, because she's an unknown variable".

I think that this "Queen" could have achieved her goal. I think she could have made Heaven on Earth. And Etienne gamed the risks out in his head and calculated that there was a slight chance she could go nuclear down the line and cause the end of the world, so he sets her off early and - while the entire continent of Europe is lost - it's an acceptable loss compared to the entire planet they would have lost had she been allowed to continue her mission and, somewhere along the line, she goes berserk.

We already know he is the type of person to kill one victim instead of four when faced with the trolley problem. An acceptable sacrifice.

HOWEVER

I also have this nagging suspicion about the "Queen's" origins, and it has something to do with this panel -

"...I was asleep through the whole thing."

ASLEEP?!?!

If Masumi was in Japan the same time Isabella was, then we know that the "Queen's" shift happened in the day. She blocked out the sun with her display of power. Not to say that Masumi has an average sleeping schedule, but on its face the excuse just makes no sense. If the "Queen" really was tearing reality apart, I don't see how the resolution of this conflict would take longer than a few minutes, maybe a few hours at best (unless we see something involving the Pyramid slowing the "Queen" in the next issue).

So what if Masumi was in a different kind of 'sleep'?

We know that when Masumi feels intense despair, a kaiju rises up to destroy things. This has happened before. However, in her appearances she hasn't really had great leaps of emotion in any other direction, like intense anger or intense happiness.

What if she can manifest different creatures based on how she's feeling, and this "Queen" was actually a 'kaiju' representation of her ecstasy? Or what if this was her original power, and something happened that made it flip and only be activated by despair? Did someone interfere? Etienne?

I want to draw some attention to a panel from a previous issue that was about Masumi, at her gallery debut. Look at her eyes.

Familiar, right?

Even the backgrounds are similar.

And thinking about how the Power Fantasy is a pastiche of super heroes but especially X-Men, mutants, and their dynamics. Etienne is Professor X, Heavy is Magneto, etc.

I, at first, assumed Valentina was the Jean Grey. The Omega with godlike powers, much like the Phoenix.

However, the Phoenix has had a storied history throughout the Marvel Universe, as a bringer of life and of destruction.

So what if Masumi was the Jean Grey of Power Fantasy? And the evolution of her power is that ANY intense feeling causes some type of psychic creature to appear?

And she was 'asleep' throughout the Second Summer of Love because she was channeling the "Queen" in Manchester? And something happened to her which then affected the "Queen", turning her into a threat? What if this was Etienne's doing?

This is all conjecture, but conjecture is all I have right now while trying to fill in the missing gaps of 'The Second Summer of Love' that have yet to be provided using the clues available to me.

We know Val was there, and she was not just an acolyte of the "Queen" but also in love with her. Heavy was busy with his kid but he showed his support of this growing movement for love, sex, and drugs. Magus wanted her gone, but he also sacrificed a LOT of his own people to stop her and it hit him HARD he wanted her out before she became a threat. Eliza sold her soul to take the "Queen" down.

That just leaves Etienne and Masumi. What were they really doing during the 'Second Summer of Love'?

HELLO RVB NATION. here is all of the Complete Seasons downloaded since rooster teeth took it off youtube. thumbs up!!

Ok what’s homestuck, actually do I want to know what homestuck is and if so what is it. This isn’t a joke I’m just confused

Cool universe

A DEATHWORLER'S WAR PT 1

Hunanity's truth universe

From the memiors ambassador Gruxalon of the vanai-ashti.

We were, at the time, the newest members of the Galactic Alliance, the 97th race to be admitted.  Upon our admission myself and my fellow ambassadors were invited to the alliance's primary meeting ground, a massive spaceborne station in a system officially owned by no one, meant to be a nuetral ground.  Here we were given an orientation of sorts that lasted several weeks, this was understandable as this orientation included detailed dossiers on each of the 96 species as well as the history of the Alliance itself and the responsibilities and laws we would be expected to uphold as a member of it.  During our time there we were greeted by ambassadors and congulated on our appointment to the council.  Most were cordial, but clearly unhappy with our new position.

This was expected, we had asked to join solely to seek military aid against the Xinali, a hostile race that had made it their mission to drive us to extinction because we were amphibians and they believed amphibians were an unnatural abomination.  We were not close to that looming possibility yet, but it was clear that Xinali had superior numbers and firepower to our own, and our war, if left unaided, would eventually become nothing more than delaying the inevitable.

As to the reason we were inducted despite our less than diplomatic purpose, it was our communications and kinetic barrier technologies, they were far and above better than anything anyone in the alliance had, except the humans anyway, THEY had blown science fiction energy shields, but they had steadfastly refused to share that technology with the alliance.  They were a bit distrusting and isolationist as I understood it.  I remembered their dossier fairly clearly for two reasons, firstly because they were considered the strongest and most disciplined military power in the galaxy, secondly their homeworld had come up when discussing the concept of "deathworlds."

"Deathworld" was a designation granted to any habitable world that housed significant dangers to habitation by sentient species.  About 12 of the now 97 member species hailed from deathworlds.  Deathworlds had a classification system that went from category 1 to category 10, I don't remember exactly how they differentiated the categories, but i do remember that the larger the number, the worse the planet, I also remember that of the 38 known deathworlds in existence only one rated above a category 4, the human homeworld of Terra was a category 9.  Sentient species that evolved to become dominant on such worlds are usually aggressive and militaristic, and they are ALWAYS predatory, humans added isolationist and closed off, to that list of quirks.

As a result it was considered normal that the humans did not always send delegates to alliance meetings, most of the time the topics to be discussed had little to do with them, at least from THEIR perspective.  So it came as quite a surprise when I first met one.

We were pleaing again for the Galactic alliance to send military aid and were receiving the typical nonchalant disapproval, these proceedings continued for done tine before the human delegate stood and addressed his camera.  Everyone fell silent, it was known that the human delegate was not often present, and when he was, he rarely addressed the council, I had, to that point, never heard him speak.

"What the hell is wrong with you people!?" He opened aggressively "What's even the point of a council if you're not going to act on the behalf of a member.  It wouldn't even bd all that difficult or resource intensive to help them!"

I was taken aback I had certainly not expected support to come from the absentee and isolationist human delegation.  In truth they had a reputation for not really wanting to get involved in the affairs of others, it had been the primary reason we made no attempt at diplomacy with them.  

"Perhaps for you deathworlder, but for most of us a war is a very serious affair!" Another delagate answered.

"And you believe it is not one for us?" The Human diplomat replied. "Do you think it easy having such power at our fingertips?  Do you think we wish to abandon diplomacy and turn a prestigious place like this to dust, simply because we can?  We are NOT so petty.'

At this point the Consulate rose in the center platform of the space, placing himself between the two arguing races.

"Enough with this consternation." He said "I think we all know the true reason the humans are so adamant about this.  This is about the Cithir incident, isn't it ambassador?"

The human hung his head low, he looked remorseful and defeated "yes Consulate, we have waited a long time for such an opportunity."

My spines rattled a bit at that statement, opportunity for what?  His race would not be used for some dark deathworlder experiment.  

"If that IS the case, then i suggest leaving the issue of military intervention in the hands of the humans, the ambassadors in question may hash out the details between themselves."  This was met with raucous applause.  "In the meantime!" The consulate continued silencing the crowd "we will discuss the sending of foodstuffs and supplies to the Vanai-Ashti, because if i can speak plainly ambassador Orillion had a point, we DO exist as a community to help one another, and if we are unwilling to do so in any capacity, then we will have failed as a community AND as a council, we are responsible to do at least this much, agreed!?"

Less enthusiastic applause this time, but nearly twenty ambassadors offered to sue for aid from their homeworlds.

I was nearly swallowing my own throat afterwards, I had never met any deathworlders much less the apparent worst of them.  These were predators, powerful predators, I acquainted myself with their dossier as I waited for their ambassador's arrival at our diplomatic suite.

They averaged a meter taller than us, they possessed shielded, gun covered ships, their homeworld's gravity was five times our own, and they were, apparently, nigh unkillable monsters.  Their bodies produced something called "adrenaline" under stress, it essentially reversed the function of going into shock, rather than killing them this caused them to become numb to pain and unable to feel fear, it gives a burst of energy and sharpens their senses.  This substance is the reason the Galactic alliance is able to treat shock, i single litre of it can treat over a million people, and humans trade it for information, technology, passage through territory rights etc.  It is SO potent that they can refuse to share their shield tech and still make more money than nearly any other member species.

A tapping at the door caused me to jump out of my seat, i put away the dossier and answered, as the human looked down at me i must've have done poor job of concealing my fear.  Because he knelt down to my level and assured me he meant me no harm.

"Maxwell Orillion," he said, "nice to meet you."

"Gruxalon of the house fùrl," I answered "it is likewise nice to meet you." 

"So what kind of creatures are these…" he tapped at a screen on his wrist "...Xinali?"

They are an Avian race." I answered keeping information short.

"Not to sound unhratefull, but you and Consulate Grak mentioned something called, 'the Cithir incident' and you said humanity has waited for this opportunity.  What exactly do you plan to DO with us?"

"What do you mean DO to you?" Ambassador Orillion looked genuinely confused.

"Well I don't expect you intend to save our asses with no compensation." I replied a bit indignantly.

"What…?" Orillion stared at him in bewilderment for a moment begore something clicked behind his eyes "oooooooooh, you're new, you wouldn't know yet, I'm terribly sorry I'm just so used to everyone knowing." He said.

"Knowing what?" I asked.

"Uh… hmm… this is rather delicate, understand, it's kept out of dossiers for a reason."

"Okay…" i said.

"When we tried to colonize outside our home system for the first time, we ran into and insectoid race called the Cithir, to simplify matters a bit oyr people were split in how wanted to handle the Cithir, the larger group wanted to make contact and attempt peaceful negotiations, the smaller, but more powerful, and rich group wanted to kill them off so they could divy up the planet and sell the land to the highest bidder.  That group succeeded, we eventually caught them and made them face judgment.  But the fact that humanity genocided an entire race, doesn't sit well with us and we have been looking for an opportunity to atone."

I took this all in, it was a lot… it took me a few minutes, no wonder everyone was so afraid of them. I cleared my throat.

"So if i understand this… you committed genoside and by stopping the Xinali, you see that as like… undoing that?"

"No… what we did cannot be undone." Abassador Orrilluon said, "but we hope it can be forgiven." 

Okay so in house of Ashes I think that basically the “vampires” are actually intelligent and formed a civilization but then the parasite came and that’s the reason they’re so violent. That also explains why they were able to build a spaceship/city but didn’t invent guns because the parasite can’t use them so they didn’t. Also explains why they are so physically adept since the parasite made them that way.

I don’t know if this is a common theory but I haven’t seen anyone else say anything and I wanted it out there

Edit: check the comments

HELL YEAH HATS

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE