I Mean… I’m Down To Hear It, For Sure. Your Headcanons Are My Crack.

Mantis: Do you have a self-care routine?

Quill: “Keep going bitch” said to myself in different accents.

Hello rocket raccoon fans. I like to put him in t shirts

So excited!😆

a brief birdie excerpt~

[anticipated june 2025] - nothing 18+ below the cut. this time.

“We just want to help,” Dey continues. “With… with Rocket, we can do that. We can get you somewhere safe.”

“Or you could let me go,” you growl.

“And where would you go?” Rael interjects now.

“To the Stakar Clan,” you say immediately. 

Dey lets out a dismayed sound and Nova Prime scoffs, rising abruptly from her seat to pace the room. “You’d go to Ravagers rather than let us help you? The Ravagers are ruthless, lawless—”

“They have one law,” you snarl. “And it’s the only one I fucking care about.”

“We’re trying to protect you,” Rael snaps.

“You’re trying to put a pin in this so you can come back to it when it suits you. All you’re offering is a nicer cage—”

“I’d suggest taking the nicer cage,” Rocket suggests casually, and your eyes cut to him — glittering with fury. He bites a sharp grin for you.

The alternative is being locked up with me for a dozen cycles, birdie, and I don’t think you’re ready for that.

“Enough,” Rael hisses, with more outrage that Rocket’s ever seen from her. He looks up nonchalantly, ears flicking. “Need I remind you that you are in Nova Corps custody?”

“Is this even legal?” you retort, eyes narrowed into slits. Well, you don’t back down from a fight — Rocket’s willing to give you that.

“There are legal warrants for your arrest,” Rael retorts, her voice brisk and tight. “So you’ll be in protective custody until you’re safely relocated. And for right now, that protective custody happens to be under this… former… Guardian of the Galaxy.”

Your eyes snap toward his again, and he gives you a lazy salute and a nasty grin. 

“Don’t worry, birdie,” he coos, “I’m frickin’ good at what I do. Who knows? You might even like being underneath me.”

birdie. (an evasive maneuvers expansion)

18+ only MDNI | f!reader x rocket | 8-12 chapters | word count: pending.

xandar is saved. the power stone rests safely in the hands of the nova corps, and our favorite heroes-for-hire get their records expunged before going their separate ways. unfortunately, one furry little motherfucker just can't seem to keep his claws out of trouble. in a rare gesture of good will, the nova corp give him a get-outta-jail-free card (not that he needs one):

all he has to do is escort a bratty little princess safely and discreetly to her new home, halfway across the universe.

should be a piece of cake. what's the difference between a bodyguard and a bounty-hunter, anyway?

CONTEXT/WARNINGS: mcu-based canon-divergent post-vol1. grief, angst, betrayal, and the agony of falling in love. slightly darker than my usual fare - true enemies-to-lovers (still a happy ending, though!). slower-burn than i had originally thought (though we do start off pretty steamy). bondage (duh), lots of dirty talk and dom/sub fixations, probably some gunplay and use of toys. almost entirely from rocket's perspective so far. reader has hair long enough to get in her eyes. more warnings to come.

silver stardust and silver bar dividers by @bernardsbendystrawsblack | black rose divider by @/firefly-graphics | heart-handcuff & ivy dividers by @/strangergraphics | silver glitter divider and support/mdni banners by @/saradika-graphics | moodboard by me!

Holy shit guys, she back!

la gaudière.⋆☁︎:･꧂ preview

[anticipated 2/27] ✩

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 26/40+ | wip | wordcount: pending. masterlist, notes, & moodboard | navigation ART: pearl’s character design | pearl & rocket’s bunk | heartspur scene | chapter one. nemotia. art by @/frostedwitch| rocket & pearl snuggle | adorable pearl x rocket selfie by @/starriidreams | sexy, evocative waterlily pearl x rocket painting by @/hibatasblog ♡

bby i'm back!

so excited to be posting for cicatrix .⋆☁︎ :･꧂again. a little more slowly, but still. ugh i missed these babies. thanks for your patience!! ♡♡

someone steals from the collector. warnings below.

Rocket would’ve liked to think that when his life finally flashed before his eyes, it would’ve been a too-brief catalogue of the good moments: playing tag with L06 and A95, laughing from the vents with the Captain on the Eclector, the first hug he’d ever gotten — from Lylla — and all the uncountable, ineffably sweet moments he’d had with pearl over the past few cycles. 

Not that he would have minded another glimpse of her glorious tits, of course, or the way she’d looked when she’d come on his dick — but somehow, even those moments aren’t his favorites with her. Teaching her how to shoot, though — telling her stories in the runabout, or staying curled up with her under the flight controls — those were the real golden moments. Watching her stand up to the Sovereign, or tell him he was being a jerk, or scamper around with all that joy when she’d seen the abilisks.  Hell, watching her stand tall on that gambling table with a feral f’saki in her arms, surveying the havoc she’d just created like some avenging, drunken, pouty blue-haired goddess — if he could see that one more time before he died, he wouldn’t even care if there was an afterlife, good or bad. Instead, what happens when Rocket finds himself catapulted halfway down the street is that he’s struck by all the times he’s been an absolute ass, accidentally or on purpose. He’d known she’d misunderstood when he’d said he regretted things between them, but he hadn’t bothered to set it right. And he’d known she would misinterpret his reasons for going to the Brass Camellia, but he’d frickin’ said it anyway. He was finally gonna die — something he’d both run from and wanted since the moment he’d watched his brother and sister burn — and pearl was gonna think — pearl was gonna think— I just need to think, and I can’t with you looking at me like I’m some kind of monster.  He isn’t ever gonna get to take her to see a damn Acanti migration.

His body bounces — it’s a miracle it doesn’t hurt more, with all that metal weighing him down — and he sits up slowly, trying to shake the calcium-dust from the fur of his ringing ears. There’s a slice on the side of his nose, he thinks. His ribs ache but his breath doesn’t rattle, and he should take a second to inventory his body — make sure he’s got his fingers and toes, that he hasn’t broken his tail, figure out where the singed-fur-smell is coming from — but as soon as he realizes he’s frickin’ alive, he hits all fours and sprints toward the husk of the museum.  Start there, he thinks. Start close to ground zero and work your way out. Find pearl. Drax if you can.  Then get starside before shit hits the fan. Rocket has been through enough prison breaks to know that nothing generates rebellion like seeing the center of power demolished, and he suspects a mining colony full of forced laborers won’t be much different. Either the Collector’ll crack down or some other power will step into the void, and Rocket doesn’t want himself or his pearl on the ground when it happens.  His eyes search for the lilac-blue banner of her hair like it’s a song he’s trying to remember. Everything is dim and burnt and broken and maybe he wouldn’t be able to make out the vibrancy of her curls through the dust and dark and shadows anyway, but he tries. He takes in a chestful of air through his nose, hunting for waterlilies and something clean on the air — only to immediately double over when the insides of his lungs are painted with bone-dust and cinders. Something inside him pinches and aches.  “Pearl!” he tries to yell, caution and anonymity forgotten, but his voice cracks and withers in the haze of grime.  What if she’s dead? What if she’s gone like Lylla, like 06 and 95?  And you never fuckin’ made it right? He swallows and breathes deep and tries again, calling up the lowest, most carrying voice he can from the carved-out hollow of his ribs.  “Kitten!”

from chapter twenty-seven. la gaudière. ✩ ‬ cicatrix masterlist.⋆☁︎:･꧂ navigation | fiction masterlist

a story about scars. two survivors learn about themselves, each other, hope, and the universe. a freakish little monster visits the high evolutionary’s bride on her wedding night. an adventure of intergalactic proportions ensues. aka raccoons make plans; the universe laughs.

WARNINGS for this chapter: headwounds and near-death experiences. regret and angst. woundcare. some comfort. this chapter uses descriptive imagery that may be reminiscent of residential and urban environments impacted by bombings, warfare, or natural disasters like earthquakes.

fluff ✮ | spice ✩ | some smut ❤︎‬ | much smut ❤︎‬❤︎‬

banners & rose dividers by @/saradika-graphics pearl dividers by @/thecutestgrotto

Read this if you like the following: great writing, literary allusions, sensational descriptions, meticulously, genius levels of art crafted with love, characters with trauma and incredible motivations, also smoking hot and toe-curling sex scenes. There is no better writer in the Rocket fandom- hands down.

꧁･:☁︎⋆. cicatrix .⋆☁︎:･꧂ masterlist

18+ only | rocket x f!oc | 1/25 | wip | word count: pending.

a story about scars. inspired by mary shelley’s frankenstein; or, the modern prometheus. a freakish little monster visits the high evolutionary’s bride on her wedding night. an adventure of intergalactic proportions ensues. aka raccoons make plans; the universe laughs. 

enemies-to-lovers (as per frickin’ usual, only one of these idiots think they’re enemies, and tbh the enemy part is pretty short-lived.) while the beginning of this fic is dark (please check warnings for each chapter), we always get happy endings here. most chapters will contain super-smutty commentary at the very least. this fic is a longform expansion on wyndham; or, the galactic prometheus (day 31) of °˖✧♡kinktober 2023.

much like Window Across the Galaxy ✧*:･ﾟ , this fic is pure wish-fulfillment. i'd like a sexy space raccoon to rail me and then let me be stupid-sweet to him.

WARNINGS - please pay attention to all ao3 warnings/tags for every chapter.

if you’d like to join my fanfiction taglist, please comment or send me a message or ask! ♡

꧁･:☁︎⋆. all chapters collected behind the cut.

chapter one. nemotia. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ wyndham’s bride lands on counterearth just in time to prepare for her wedding. an unexpected guest arrives. ✩ [est 2/29] warnings: discussion of non-sexual child abuse and grooming. brief mentions of suicidal ideations. animal/pet death. canon-typical violence.

chapter two. ambedo. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ the monster makes his intentions known. wyndham’s bride proposes an addendum. ❤︎❤︎ [est 3/4] warnings: arguably one of the darkest chapters. things will get better before the chapter’s end. dubcon (wyndham’s bride is very into it but there’s definitely an argument for coercion here), lots of non-affectionate degradation and name-calling (slut, whore, etc), bad dom/sub dynamics, choking, hair pulling, pussy slapping, spanking, overstimulation. single, brief threat of mutilation. use of claws. continued references to non-sexual child abuse and grooming. animal/pet death. canon-typical violence.

chapter three. xeno. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ a daring escape. ❤︎ [est 3/7] warnings: references to the last chapter’s violence. big regrets. sexual fantasies. cutting (to remove a tracking device). some aftercare.

chapter four. anthrodynia. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ the monster regrets. ❤︎ [est 3/21] warnings: aftercare. references to chapter two’s violence. regret. sexual fantasies and general horniness.

chapter five. o'erpine. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂a conflict arises. a series of truths come out. ❤︎ [est 4/4] warnings: descriptions of leftover physical pain and references to some of the rough/hate-sex from chapter two, including pussy-slapping. discussion of non-sexual child abuse and controlling behaviors/manipulation. discussion of pet death and intentionally self-inflicted allergic reactions.

chapter six. lockhearted. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ ✩ [est 4/16] warnings:

chapter seven. starlorn. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ ✩ [est 4/30] warnings:

chapter eight. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ ❤︎❤︎ warnings:

chapter nine. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ ❤︎ warnings:

chapter ten. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ ❤︎❤︎ warnings:

chapter eleven. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂ warnings:

chapter twelve. .⋆☁︎ :･꧂warnings:

some explicit statements or references ✩ abbreviated explicit sequences ❤︎ detailed/prolonged explicit sequences ❤︎❤︎

Lovely great fun. An amazing piece of escapism and wish fulfillment.

The Very Boring Adventures of

Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl ✩°｡⋆

Domestic Scenes in Space Travel ✩ Installment One (excerpt & rating key behind the cut)

18+ only MDNI | no use of y/n | f!reader | 5/5 visits | complete | word count: 37,783.

In Rocket Raccoon: Grounded (2016) / Issue #3, Rocket asks a stranger on the ferry to "make sure nobody does anything weird" to him while he naps, and the stranger just, like, abandons him while he's sleeping?? who does that? when a stranger asks you to watch their stuff in a coffee shop, it's a holy obligation. x100 if it's a hot local space pilot trying to catch some Zs on the ferry. get in loser we're gonna fix it

reader x rocket domestic fluff & smut with feelings. comics-based but you don't need any comics background knowledge to ride this ride. excerpt below the cut.

Chapter One (The First Visit). rocket evades SHIELD by hiding in your purse. ✩ Chapter Two (The Second Visit). you and rocket eat omelettes in your underwear. ✩ Chapter Three (The Third Visit). rocket finds you naked & takes care of your cat. ✩ Chapter Four (The Fourth Visit). rocket teaches you about his tail. ❤︎‬❤︎ Chapter Five (The Fifth Visit). rocket stops by for a visit. ❤︎‬❤︎

WARNINGS: feelings & domestica. smut commences in the fourth visit. dirty talk, praise, use of "slut"/"whore" (affectionate), a little bit of oral.

✩ Domestic Scenes in Space Travel Masterlist ✩ Fuckin adorable sweatshirt girl art by @blueberrysquire ✩ forward one installment

That’s when you hear the screech from the hallway.

“Oh! Call Animal Control! Oh! It has rabies!”

“It is even still alive?”

“I heard it growl!”

Later, you won’t be able to say how you know.  There have been countless chaotic squirrels in the building before, and the occasional massive rat off the streets, though you suspect they all have much better reasons to be afraid of humans than vice versa. 

But you do know. Maybe it’s Mr Hobbes’ weird behavior or maybe it’s something more cosmic than that, but you know, and you grab your key off the hook and step into the corridor, still in just your bikini-briefs and a sweatshirt that almost goes to your knees.

Your gaze finds him unerringly: passed out, possibly injured, wedged in the doorway at the top of the stairwell with the heavy fire-door propped open on his ribs. 

“Uhhh,” you interrupt, pushing past your neighbors. “Sorry. Sorry. He’s my - “ you pause, thoughts colliding with each other “ - my friend.”

“Your friend?” says Josh From Down the Hall. He’s been bugging you to go out to dinner and drinks for months. “What is he, some kind of miniature furry?”

You roll your eyes and pull open the door, propping it with a hip while you try to hoist Rocket into your arms. Unfortunately, he weighs even more now - probably due to the heavy artillery on his back and at his hips, all of which makes him very awkward to carry. Geezus, one of these guns alone has to be at least as much as his body weight.  “He’s not a - “

“He must be your new cat,” says Brenda From Next Door, her voice a little doubtful. Brenda is harmless enough, though she can be annoying. “I hear millennials like to talk about their pets like they’re actual people.”

There’s way too much to unpack there and fuck. He weighs a ton. Your arms are shaking as you stagger past them. “He’s not - “

“He’s not a cat, Brenda,” Josh says rudely. “Didn’t you hear her? He’s her shrimpy, perverted boyfriend. Wasted in the friggin’ stairwell.”

You sigh. “Josh, this is why no-one wants to date you.” 

“You fuckin’ bitch - “

“Brenda, can you help me with the door?”

The older woman rushes to turn your doorknob and pushes it open for you, while also trying to stay as far away as she can from the Space Pilot in your arms. 

“Did something happen to Mr Hobbes then, dear? Is that why you got a new cat?”

Geezus. No wonder Rocket had been so exhausted of hearing people’s bullshit last time. It’s been five minutes and you’d cheerfully throttle both your neighbors. And you like to think you like people.

“Nope. He’s still alive and kickin’. Thanks, Brenda.”

You lean against the door when it closes behind you, shuffling the weight in your arms so you can slide the deadbolt and chain lock. By the time you get Rocket to the bedroom, you’re panting. Maybe the loveseat would have been the closer, better option, but you’re pretty scared you’re going to need to be able to access him from all sides. 

You rest him on the bed. Mr Hobbes is pacing in the doorway while you wipe the sweat from your brow and then tie up your hair with the elastic around your wrist. The cat meows pitifully.

“He’s gonna be okay, Hobbsie,” you mumble, looking down at your prodigal houseguest. He’s wearing some sort of jumpsuit with blood splashing up one side, but it’s hard to discern much thanks to the plethora of firearms he’s sporting. Carefully, you pick over the range of buckles and snaps and magnets holding his holsters in place. Some just look like grips, but have the weight of something much larger. You don’t know the first thing about guns, really, but you have a feeling that most of Rocket's don’t exactly have a safety.

Cautiously, you undo what you can, lifting each weapon with slow deliberation, keeping every barrel pointed away from you, from your wounded guest, and from Mr Hobbes. Probably these things can blow through sheetrock even better than regular bullets, so you lay them on the floor by the exterior wall, lined up neatly with the barrels pointed toward the brick.  

Then you’re unstrapping the harnesses, holsters, and straps of his jumpsuit. It’s been burnt in some places, torn and bloodied.

“Sorry, Space Pilot,” you say under your breath. “When you wake up, just remember that it’s not the first time I’ve seen you in your underwear.” 

read more on ao3 ✩°｡⋆

some explicit statements or references ✩ explicit scenes or fantasy sequences ❤︎‬ long, detailed, and graphic explicit content ❤︎‬❤︎‬ deliberately smut-free, mostly or entirely platonic ✮

Gamora: [to Quill] You’re so clever! How can somebody as clever as you be so stupid?!

True Ravager stories.

Peter Quill is the type of guy to randomly drop little pieces of Ravager lore on the Guardians and then continue on like nothing happened, like when your dad reveals hes wanted in five countries type shit and Guardians always get whiplash like… shit. I forgot hes a ravager. Like-

Rocket: hey you ever been to Trivida? Looks nice Peter: oh yeah i've been. Really pretty place. One time a few guys thought itd be funny to stick me in a burlap sack, so cliche right? And they threw me out of the ship. It took Yondu seven days to find me…………….. Also i never saw those guys again. Huh. Anyway its a nice planet. Cool people.  Rocket:....... Im sorry what the fu- ~ Gamora: hey Peter, theres this creature thing that uh, wants to talk to you? Peter: oh! Achilles hey! Achilles, a giant flesh eating tentacle monster: Petey! Tell your old man I said hi why don't you! You never visit me anymore! Peter, who has Yondu saved as ‘kidnapper’ in his pager: oh yeah defo! He misses you too Gamora:...... what ~ Groot: I am Groot Peter: no no, sorry i cant Groot: i am Groot? Peter: yeah my legs magnetic because when i was like fourteen i wanted to steal this relic and then uh this older dude Macho didn't like that and he replaced my leg with a fire hydrant. Anyway want some nachos?  Groot:.... Holy shi-

Just peter dropping lore the Guardians have no idea what to do with

I 100% believe that Rocket would look at gun and dirty magazines with the same level of excitement.

These two are so hilarious.

Nebula: Romance is dumb.

Peter: You're literally holding my hand right now.

Nebula: Romance that doesn't involve the two of us is dumb.