Same

I didnt know i needed to hear this, i tried to have sex last weekend but it didnt turn out well.

Thank godness for the guy who i was with for not making it awkward and not saying anything.

Shoutout to people who aren’t merely disinterested in sex, but are actually terrified of it

Your fears are valid and you should not let that stop you from being the wonderful, beautiful person you are

Your fears are valid and you should not be ashamed of it, no matter what anyone else says

man if u ever in your life have the opportunity to see a therapist i’m literally begging you to do so bc they really do just straighten your stuff out so blunt like when I was 17 my dad died in a fire while he was between life insurance so we had nothing and the bank took our house and we lost like everything and when I was 20 I said I didn’t know why I think the way I do and my therapist said “that’s normal for victims of trauma” and I said “but I haven’t been through any trauma” and the look she gave me was more potent than any verbal wakeup call I’ve ever gotten in my entire life

Could I ask for GOM, UK, Kagami, and Himuro (sorry for asking for so many characters ^^;) with their biggest kinks and a a little drabble for each? ((Love your blog and that header is absolutely SCRUMPTIOUS~~))

Good lord this was hard. I’m not doing a drabble because this post is long enough. But there is a short story.

Generation of miracles

Akashi: Pet play, him as the owner of course. If the collar wasn’t enough, then he’d get more creative. The leash in his hands reminded you of your place. Whenever he thought you were being disobedient, he’d give a sharp tug of the leash. “Yield my pet” he ordered as he led you to his bed. Akashi sat at the edge with an expectant look. “You know what to do, get to it” he ordered resting back on his elbows. You took the initiative and unzipped his pants. “Slower, or should I punish you for getting ahead of yourself?” he warned.

Aomine: Hair pulling. In the midst of sex, Aomine loved when you pulled his hair. Slight tugs to straight out yanking would rile him up. His thrust became more aggressive as if in response to hair pulling. Your grasp slipped a little, causing you to grab tighter. “Shit, do it again” he growled against your skin. Each time you pulled he only grew rougher.

Kise: Body worship. Worshiping your body was always his priority. He’d always kiss up your legs and arms, mumbling sweet compliments. His hands ran up your legs as he raised his head to your neck. "You’re so soft ___-cchi~“ he cooed kissing your neck softly. Kise left hickeys in the spots that were hard to hide. “I want everyone to know I love you” was his excuse to get away with this.

Kuroko: Breath play. He didn’t have to try honestly. Instead of moans, he would release huffs or hot breath. When you heard the faint sound of his voice, heat would pool inside you with anticipation. You shivered as his mouth ghosted over the back of your neck. “____” he breathed in your ear, causing you to call out to him in a shaky voice. It was like magic how quickly you changed under his teasing.

Murasakibara: Food play. “____-chin stay still” Murasakibara growled from his place between your legs. His tongue held the cream that was once on your skin. He drew his tongue back to clean it off, his expression remained blank yet his eyes carried annoyance. “Sorry” you murmured as Murasakibara brought his face back to it’s previous position. His tongue moved quickly against your skin, occasionally stopping in spots so he could bite. His teeth grazed your skin and left it screaming red. 

Midorima: Finger sucking, on his fingers but he’d probably do it. He’d never admit to liking it. his fingers found your mouth once again in a small plea. You obliged willingly and took his appendages into your mouth. Your tongue swirled around each digit, giving equal amounts of attention to each. The sucking sensation you created with your mouth only added to his pleasure. The occasional bite sent shivers up his body. Midorima’s gaze  never left your face as he removed his hand for more….satisfying purposes.

Uncrowned kings

Hanamiya: Fear, Bondage, Photography, and Licking. He wasn’t sure what set him off. Your small cries or the way your body shivered. All he did was take pictures of your naked body in compromising positions. His tongue ran across your flushed skin as he teased you for being in such a state. “You act like I’ll show someone these, maybe I should?” the furious shake of your head made him bust out laughing. You couldn’t reach for the camera yourself, considering the tight belts that held your body down.

Kiyoshi: Scratching, on his back preferably. It could be masochism. When your nails raked down his back, he felt true bliss. The painful sting of skin tearing accompanied by your pleading moans were heavenly. “P-please…faster” your whimpers reminded him of where he was as he lost himself in pleasure. “S-sure” he groaned proceeding to slam into you. Your body jumped against his, creating the delicious feeling of his back being clawed.

Mibuchi: High Heels, doesn’t matter who wears them. The click of heels caught his attention. Echos bounced off the walls and came back just as pleasing. His bedroom eyes made it hard for you to continue your cat walk. Mibuchi raised his hand to call you over in a ‘come hither’ motion. You swallowed hard in an attempt to calm yourself, still walking toward him with your head held high. “Here, here, I want play with you a little” he cooed as he pulled you into his lap. Your legs found their place around his hips, leaving little space between you both.

Hayama: Breast smothering or nipple play. “Mmmhh!”  Hayama’s voice resounded against your skin. All sounds smothered into your breast as his mouth latched to your nipple. His teeth nipped at your skin as he toyed with your nub. "It’s all red here, it gets hard when I do this” Hayama snickered biting down on it. Your gasps and moans only furthered his actions. Trails of saliva served as proof of where he attacked your skin. 

Nebuya: Extreme Musk. It worked both ways honestly. His nose was buried into your chest as he breathed in you scent. The strong stench of your sweaty skin sent his eyes rolling back. Nebuya’s own body emitted a strong scent that filled your nostrils. “You smell great ___” Nebuya groaned against your skin. His head moved lower to the space between your thighs. “It smells best here though” he sighed wistfully taking in your scent. Soon you found yourself going down on his chest as he urged you toward his crotch. “Take my muscle musk too yeah?”

Others

Kagami: Clothed Sex. “___” his voice called out to you in a husky tone. Your shirt bunched to your shoulders and your bottoms were long abandoned. The sight of your partial covered body underneath him sent fire through out his body. Just the thought of your flushed skin hiding underneath material he could rip to shreds made him hard. Kagami was still clothed with exception to his fly unzipped. His jeans brushed against your hips as he thrust inside you. The loose zipper chiming as it flailed about. Even with the clothes making it unbearably hot, your love making didn’t cease.

Himuro: Voyerurism/Exhibitionism. “Shhh, they’ll hear you” Himuro scolded from behind you. His hands held your naked waist as he pressed himself into your back. Your bottoms pooled around your ankles, making it even more difficult to escape him. “Just stay quiet, touch yourself a bit too” he purred leading one of your hands to your opening. Himuro’s chuckle invaded your ears as he watched you tease yourself. Something pressed into your ass as Himuro rocked his hips into yours. “Don’t mind that, all in good time ____~”.

EXACTLY BUT HERE IN GERMANY ITS FOR ME 7:30 TO 5:00 WITH AN HOUR LUNCH

MADNESS!

i hate the whole thing about "working 9-5" cause that just doesn't make sense to me

all my jobs have been 8-5 with 1 hour lunch what is this American fuckery

I mean, I am german and even in germany we have this joke “Deutsche Sprache, schwere Sprache” which means “the german language is a difficult language” But even we dont do shit like this. Sure we have like complicated formal and informal forms and like hella big words and stuff But come on we dont say “I am sleeping” we say “Ich schlafe” > “I sleep” This -ing form is driving me mad since 2012 (5th grade), nowadays i get it but its useless

English is such a dumb language like why the fuck do I have to be sleeping

you can't be a verb lmao fuckin clowns

WHYYYYYYYYYYY

okay, so the other day I wanted to look up Dan Howell and Phil Lester’s astrology charts, right? So I found out when and where they were born and came up with this…

Phil: Aquarius sun, Aquarius moon, Gemini rising, Aquarius mercury, Sagittarius Venus, Aries mars 

Dan: Gemini sun, Gemini moon, Gemini rising, Gemini mercury (jfc Dan has a lot of Gemini in his chart), Leo Venus, and Leo mars 

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS 

IT MEANS THAT DAN AND PHIL ARE PERFECTLY COMPATIBLE TOGETHER AND NOTHING IN THEIR CHART IS HOLDING THEM BACK AND WTF THIS ISN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN AND do you even realize what the odds of something like this happening??????

The legend, the rumor

“…you want me to what?” Vree asked, tail twitching despite himself.

“We have two humans coming aboard,” Commander Ryyt repeated himself colt. “As our senior xenobiologist, I am putting them in your charge.”

“I specialize in PLANTS,” Vree said helplessly. He had heard the stories about humans just like everyone else, and believed almost none of it. “What am I supposed to do with humans?”

“Learn about their culture,” the commander shrugged. “And their biology. Everything you can. The Pride Council needs to know how much truth there is in the rumors.”

Probably none, Vree thought grimly. Rumors were always exaggerated, usually beyond understanding.

“Why me?” He asked, hoping for a way out of this mess before it got started. “I never deal with sentient creatures. You remember the tak-ra incident, sir.”

“I do,” Ryyt sighed. “But you’re still the tanking xenobiologist on the ship, and your impressive military record suggest that, should any of the stories be true, you will be able to defend yourself.”

Well that was promising. Vree glared, But to no avail. One of Ryyt’s striped ears twitched. He knew Vree too well. He could never resist a mystery, and humans were the biggest mystery there were.

“When do they arrive?”

“In one solar hour, give or take.”

Damn him. No time to prepare or anything.

“Can they do anything useful, or are they soldiers?”

“Human-Nerea is an environmental specialist. Human-Amir is a xenotechnology specialist. They both have some combat training, but they are scientists before soldiers.”

Ryyt handed Vree the file on his desk and sat back as Vree flipped through it quickly. There was more information than he could read before the humans arrived, but he could study it while they settled in.

“I take it you accept?” Ryyt asked when Vree laid his ears back and glared at his commanding officer. “I can find someone else but you’re the best fit.”

“No, I’ll do it,” Vree muttered, and closed his fingers around the file. “I want hazard pay any time I have to go to shore with them, and any time there MIGHT be hostiles in the area. Double if the ship is breached or there may be fighting of any kind.”

“Pessimistic, aren’t you?”

“Only if the stories aren’t true. If they are, you’ll be glad I only asked for this.”

That made Ryyt snarl a laugh and he waved a dismissal. “Fine, Fine. I’ll arrange it. And Vree, I doubt the stories are true.”

“So do I,” Vree shrugged. “But you never know. Where will they be?”

“Dock five. And Vree?”

Vree turned and cocked an ear to show he was listening. Ryyt gave him a fangy grin.

“Yes sir?” Vree said cautiously, sensing the commander’s wicked sense of humor.

“Try not to let them eat you. Dismissed.”

The door closed in his face before Vree could do more than hiss his displeasure.

Try not to get eaten indeed!

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HGE - Smoke before Fire

The Legend, The Rumor

Deep Water and Scales

Black Scales and Open Spaces

Screams in the Dark

Warning Lights

Into the Wild

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I realise my parents don’t actually understand my twisted Gen Z sense of nihilistic humour like I’m currently coughing my lungs up and I have four shows to peform in the next week and two full dress rehearsals so I said ‘I could just chug an entire bottle of cough syrup before each show and hope for the best’ and then my mum said she was gonna take the bottle out of my room because she genuinely thought I was going to do it like no mother if I was going to chug an entire bottle of anything it would be bleach

The more years go by the sadder this post get

Thought: I do NOT think that 50% of the world’s billionaires should be women. I think there shouldn’t be any billionaires at all.

So you are saying 0% of the world should be billionaires?