A Little Bit Of Paradise.

I try to be understanding with every person, and try to view posts from their point of view if they get upset. I'm glad you're so outspoken and so open with your autism. You are lighting the way for more understanding, and leading the way for an open dialogue. That's awesome, my friend.

As for the kiddo, he had another seizure last week at the YMCA while swimming. I'm heartbroken, the doctors don't know why he's getting seizures. Fingers crossed all is worked out soon.

His eyes...

she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there far beyond her reach.

Behind his eyes was freedom, far from the chains of his mind and the complex bondage he was held fast to. If only he could reach out. But he is left with a blank stare and various stimulation that were expressed with a flap of his arms, and twirling, his constant twirling around.

She held fast though, returning each time to look into his eyes, because she knew, she knew there was freedom behind his eyes.

A freedom that would break free for an instant, and he would focus and be free from the chains for but a moment, and stare back with recognition, with a single word on the tip of his tongue, but would never be uttered; “mom.”

His eyes, she thought, are beautiful. There is life in there, far beyond her reach.

As an adult now for...

14 years, I've learned about the wonders of Farmer's Markets.  It's the best!!

I need to show this to my husband. That dumb ass.

Putting hydrogen peroxide on a cut does more harm than good. Though it does kill the bacteria, it also kills healthy cells - and that slows down the healing process. Source Source 2

Nights vulnerability...

The night, in my opinion is beautifully and wonderfully vulnerable. It is like a woman, spread out, waiting to be devoured. As a woman, spread out and waiting to be devoured, every whisper is like a shout, and every touch is intensified that even the most feather like touch will leave you gasping and aching for more, arching and pleading for some kind of connection. Night is honest in its utter silence and reserve. Even though the world is dark, you have to open your eyes and be focused, and let your eyes adjust to the majesty. As the creatures of the night come out to prowl, there is a presence, allowing for the hunt, the vulnerability of spirit, allowing truth to be set free. Freedom comes at 2 AM, when happiness is abound, and feet ache from wandering aimlessly, that they take you to refuge in the comfort of home where Morpheus wraps his arms around you, welcoming you to heaven. The day comes, a respite for night, until vulnerability is upon us again, promising passion, love, and honesty.

“I love you. You’re mine.”

When this episode started, from the moment Villanelle said “gentleman” and Eve panicked, and immediately shot to the door, to get to her, to help her, I knew that this final piece of the puzzle would all be driven forward by two things and two things only ; misconstruction and feelings.

Misconstruction. Misunderstanding. Miscommunication.

It’s the biggest, most important part of Eve’s and Villanelle’s relationship, always there, underlying their every interaction, fueled by denial (from Eve) and struggle (from Villanelle). This has been true for a while. I’ve always thought of Eve and Villanelle as two parallel lines. They may be moving towards the same direction, they may be similar, they may be close - but they rarely join at a point. When they try to, something happens, something goes off or something’s missing.

But they do clash, eventually.

This has happened only two times in this show : in the first season finale, when they meet at a point - quite literally, the pointy end of Villanelle’s knife as it’s plunged straight into her gut by Eve herself, and now, in the second season finale, as Villanelle’s emotion drains from her eyes and she pulls the trigger coldly, Eve falling to her demise.

And to get there, to Villanelle shooting the only thing she truly seems like she ever cared for, we are driven by a series of misunderstandings. The epitome of two characters not being on the same page.

From the start, Eve runs to Villanelle to save her, but Villanelle never really intended to be rescued. Eve thinks Villanelle could kill her, but Villanelle was never planning that even when she asked her. Eve is worried, she wants to run to get help, to save the mission but Villanelle has moved on, she’s ready to leave it all behind already, grab Eve and just go. And then Eve stops, and she shouts at Villanelle, and Villanelle realizes that they’re very much not on the same page, so she also stops. She makes an effort, she wants to join Eve, clash into one. But Eve then moves forward, literally leaving Villanelle behind, to meet later.

Later. They see each other again. Villanelle is being choked to death, and Eve has to make a choice, a terrible choice, and Villanelle manipulates her into finishing the job. When Eve does it, we realize that she’s never looked more like Villanelle, she’s never felt more like Villanelle, and Villanelle feels the same, gets excited. In so many ways, they’re so much closer now than they have ever been, and yet, without realizing it, Villanelle has literally never been further from Eve. Moving too fast, moving on already (“slow down” Eve said), because again, there’s a massive misconstruction there : Villanelle thought that Eve was ready to feel a life lose its light underneath her, but Eve is lost, afloat, blank. Her world is crumbling underneath her feet and Villanelle, though tedious in her efforts to anchor Eve to reality, to meet her at one point, to finally leave the parallels and just be, fails, (notice how Villanelle tried to touch Eve several times, leaned in, smiled, and Eve rejected her) because the distance between them, inadvertently, is too big now.

Later. Villanelle is moving, and so is Eve. Villanelle thinks that Eve is moving with her, that they’re together, that they’ve met at that point when she offers dinner and Eve answers, simply, “spagghetti”. And though she realizes that not everything is okay, she believes that everything will be okay.

But Eve doesn’t. Eve is going through the motions; in reality she’s not even there with Villanelle, but mechanically, she’s moving.

And then. Boy… oh boy.

What leads to the showdown between her and Villanelle is one more, one last, goddamn misunderstanding. This time, we know this misconstruction, we’re familiar with it. It has been there since day one. The whole show is built on it.

“I love you. You love me. You’re mine.”

Villanelle does love Eve. Villanelle thinks Eve loves Villanelle. She’s drawn connections. She’s perceived their relationship as one thing, she’s calculated every interaction the only way she knows, she shows her care the only way she knows, she thinks she did Eve a favour. She doesn’t understand why Eve is angry. She doesn’t understand why Eve rejects her. She doesn’t understand.

She thought it would be okay.

But Eve knows it won’t. Eve doesn’t see what Villanelle feels as love. Eve doesn’t feel good about killing the man. Eve does not know what she feels for Villanelle. Eve was not ready, and she’s not ready to run away with Villanelle either (denial) while Villanelle is clearly rushing to catch up, to find Eve, to get to that single, mutual point, before she loses Eve. You can see the clogs turn in her mind (struggle).

She screams, she shouts at Eve, she’s trying to figure it out, she’s trying to find the glitch in the plan, the miscalculation. She’s trying.

But they’re too far away now. Once more, Eve, in her own attempts to interpret the situation, to understand it, misconstrues. She tells Villanelle she got what she wanted, that they’re same now. But Villanelle hasn’t got what she wanted. Sure she thinks they were the same and she loves that, but what she really wants, is Eve.

And when Eve walks away, unresponsive to Villanelle, telling her that she doesn’t understand what love is, crying, ignoring Villanelle’s plea, for the first time in so LONG they are finally on the same page.

It’s not going to be okay. They are parallel lines, they are too far away, they can see the burning bridge between them now.

And when Villanelle realizes, when Villanelle finally catches up, she feels it, and she does what she does best. She shoots. Her eyes follows Eve’s body as it crashes to the floor. And in that moment, in that one single most painful moment I’ve had to experience from a TV show in AGES, the two of them clash, they finally meet in one point, ironically, a point we, as viewers never wanted them to reach and even more ironically, a point they’ve met at before, a season ago.

True to her character till the end, Villanelle walks away (again), and the lines brutally separate (again).

We are left behind to pick the shattered pieces of our own hearts and wait a year for those lines to ever have the sliver of a chance to get back to each other again.

…Good luck lads.

Secrets of the girl...

One day, a lonely little girl knelt down to the ground, and stroked the roots of a growing tree. Ever strong it was that she was comforted by its silence.

Everyday she went to this tree and whispered to it, telling it all her secrets, knowing well her words would be locked away.

Years pass, but ever true, the tree was her north, and she could not stay away. The tree was big, as if every secret she told it watered it with life.

Ever beautiful this tree was, the leaves never falling, despite the change of season, longing for the girls presence. The tree was alive, yearning for the girls whispered words.

One day, the little girl, who now is ready to leave the earth as an old soul visits the tree one last time, with its beautiful strength and never falling leaves, strokes the roots one last time, and whispers her final goodbye.

The tree, feeling her spirit pass, sheds its own tears of loss, and it’s leaves fall away, floating into the sky, releasing all the secrets throughout the years. One by one, the leaves fall, and the final whisper was the first whisper of that lonely girl long ago: “Don’t leave me.”

When you and your crew all find something funny for once.

Source: I Miss The 90s

Mu-hmmmm

Mini compilation of Jodie Comer not getting over Eve stabbing Villanelle

Ms. Davis

Betty Davis

I’m the mother to a wonderful 7 week old, and at times I get sad because I don’t know what he wants when he’s crying and I’ve done everything possible for him, and I come to the conclusion that maybe it’s just me.

I’m very calm with him, I love him, I smile sweetly at him, I say to him that I understand that there’s a divide between us and I wish I could help him more as I kiss his chubby cheeks. And when he calms down, if he calms down, I hug him close until he falls asleep, and I but him down in his bassinet. I stare at him in such awe that I’m in love with this little creature, that when I sit down and focus on my breath, I realize that I’m dying a little on the inside.

My child breaks me everyday, but when he looks at me and focuses on me, I pick myself up again and start all over.

I realize I’m very hard on myself, but with my history, I gravitate towards it because it’s my punishment. I’ll admit that I love my child more than myself, that I care about him more than myself, but I’ll keep going because he needs me, and I need him.

I need him.