A Koala Was Sitting In A Tree Smoking A Joint… When A Lizard Walks Up And Says “Hey Koala What Are

A koala was sitting in a tree smoking a joint… when a lizard walks up and says “Hey koala what are you doing?” The koala answers “Smoking a joint, come up and have some.” The lizard climbs up and the two share the joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is dry and excuses himself to a nearby river to have a drink. The lizard, so stoned, leans over too far and falls in. A crocodile swims out to rescue him. When they get onto dry land, the croc asks, “What’s wrong with you, lizard?” The lizard tells him that he was smoking a joint with a koala, and he got too stoned and fell in while taking a drink. The croc has to see this for himself, so he asks the lizard to take him to the koala. When they get back to the tree, the croc looks up at the koala and says “Hey, you.” The koala looks down and says “Shiiiit dude, how much water did you drink?”

More Posts from Hugeforkingnerd and Others

9 months ago

I was today years old when I learned that when you type “otp: true” in AO3 search results it filters out fics with additional ships, leaving only the fics where your otp is the main ship

I Was Today Years Old When I Learned That When You Type “otp: True” In AO3 Search Results It Filters
6 years ago

How to smuggle a 2-liter into a movie theater

6 years ago

Reblog if you’d be okay if your friend came out as transgender

let’s see how many transphobics we can weed out

3 months ago

here's some more unsolicited adult advice as someone in her 30s who knows there are a lot of twenty somethings and teens that follow her: if you're trying to build a new habit you really want, and are struggling, you have to break it down to the smallest building block possible. If you're failing, you haven't thought small enough. I know it's possible to hear stories of people who just snapped into new life mode one day by "just deciding", but truly what's happening there is a confluence of events and experiences that force the brain into some sort of epiphany. You cannot will an epiphany. It'll never work. For most times of your life, you will need to build habits intentionally, and that means not working against yourself and to set micro goals. like laughably tiny goals. because once that easy tiny goal is met, you can build off it, tiny goal after tiny goal until you reach your big goal.

so for example, if you want to be a morning person that gets up at ass crack dawn so that you can work out, eat brekkie, shower, and get to work at a leisurely pace, and you're not that person because you will hit your snooze button 800 times, you have to get the big picture goal out of your head. think smaller. "I want to get up 15 minutes earlier than I normally do." If you can't do that, make it 5 minutes. "I want to cook breakfast every day" hell no too big. "I want to eat something, anything, before I leave the house" hell yeah, fantastic. When you go to the grocery store to make sure there are things in the house for breakfast, if you keep buying bagels and microwave sandwiches that you ignore, you gotta think smaller. SMALLER. What's something so easy to eat that you'll never say no to. Is it a yogurt? Is it a handful of grapes? Is it a hostess ho ho? is it hot cheetos? FORGET the big picture of the fantasy put-together woman preparing a full nutritious meal that you'd be proud to admit to. Think only of the smallest goal you can achieve. If you know you can't say no to an ice cream sandwich, put a ton of ice cream sandwiches in your freezer and have one for breakfast every day until it's so instilled in you that you gotta get up to eat something you can start diversifying.

It sounds like, from the lack of habit place, that must take forever. But really it doesn't take too long to form the habit once the discipline kicks in. the trick is that you have to give your brain something easy to become disciplined to. If it's too hard, think easier and smaller. No one has to know. Literally no one in the gd world has to know that for 4 weeks when you were 22 you had an ice cream sandwich for breakfast every day. who cares. If it gets you eating oatmeal with fresh fruit in a few months who cares. you did it, yay. smaller, easier. if you can't do it, think smaller and easier. smaller!! EASIER!!! You are not thinking smaller and easier enough. break your brain thinking how small and easy you can go. SMALLER. EVEN SMALLER, SIS.

1 year ago
Short Thread On How To Do Minimal Work On Shading And Line Art That Makes Your Art 1000 Times Better
Short Thread On How To Do Minimal Work On Shading And Line Art That Makes Your Art 1000 Times Better
Short Thread On How To Do Minimal Work On Shading And Line Art That Makes Your Art 1000 Times Better
Short Thread On How To Do Minimal Work On Shading And Line Art That Makes Your Art 1000 Times Better
Short Thread On How To Do Minimal Work On Shading And Line Art That Makes Your Art 1000 Times Better

Short thread on how to do minimal work on shading and line art that makes your art 1000 times better

sorry if this is confusing, ask and I’ll try to clarify

7 years ago

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE LARA AND THINK SHE IS A+++ GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL (bc guuuurl u is deserving of ALL the love we have to offer~)

REBLOG IF YOU LOVE LARA AND THINK SHE IS A+++ GIRLFRIEND MATERIAL (bc Guuuurl U Is Deserving Of ALL The

oh my god this is so sweet but I’m really not all that great-

8 years ago
Keep The Flame Going For Those We Have Lost To Suicide. 

Keep the flame going for those we have lost to suicide. 

4 years ago

how come goyim will make 30k note posts about why not to use antisemitic memes but ignore the SEVERAL hate crimes that have been committed since chanukah started

6 years ago

so i saw both the hypeable interview and aaraons response and taking both of those into account here are my thoughts:

i think, first and foremost, we should wait as a group to actually see the episode before jumping to conclusions about the episode. byg is a very specific instance of an lgbt death that isn’t simply an lgbt character dying. the crew didnt make this decision lightly, according to aaron

there will be more rep. aaron said so in his thread, and there has already been near-confirmation of runaan (since i doubt hes dead) and tinker. this is only season two out of a hopeful 6/7

i understand the feeling of betrayal of learning about this, especially with the v/d shitshow happening so recently. but we need to trust the crew’s promise and give them the benefit of the doubt before making any concrete conclusions. yes the phrasing of that article made it seem like this was byg, but not every single gay character death is bury your gays and we need to keep that in mind going into s2

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