Hey, Don't Cry. One Cup Heavy Whipping Cream, Two Tablespoons Granulated Sugar, Three Tablespoons Cocoa

Zane: Okay. Let's stop using the term "butt-hurt". We're not children anymore.

Dante: You sound ass-troubled.

Laurance: A little booty-bothered if you ask me.

Garroth: Someone's having a tushy-tantrum.

Some words to use when writing things:

winking

clenching

pulsing

fluttering

contracting

twitching

sucking

quivering

pulsating

throbbing

beating

thumping

thudding

pounding

humming

palpitate

vibrate

grinding

crushing

hammering

lashing

knocking

driving

thrusting

pushing

force

injecting

filling

dilate

stretching

lingering

expanding

bouncing

reaming

elongate

enlarge

unfolding

yielding

sternly

firmly

tightly 

harshly

thoroughly

consistently

precision

accuracy

carefully

demanding

strictly

restriction

meticulously

scrupulously

rigorously

rim

edge

lip

circle

band

encircling

enclosing

surrounding

piercing

curl

lock

twist

coil

spiral

whorl

dip

wet

soak

madly

wildly

noisily

rowdily

rambunctiously

decadent

degenerate

immoral

indulgent

accept

take

invite

nook

indentation

niche

depression

indent

depress

delay

tossing

writhing

flailing

squirming

rolling

wriggling

wiggling

thrashing

struggling

grappling

striving

straining

I would date someone who’s bi

Reblog if you agree.  There’s a ton of stigma from both sides (gay and straight), so let’s let bi folks know we support them!

Starting a Coven

We’ve got pillow forts.

Reblog to join.

No cult-members allowed.

Hello, one sees in us people who just by seeing their faces know They are kind and have big hearts Peace is your companion wherever you go, and happiness and success, God willing, will be your end in every task you undertake. I wish you to always remain the same. Paws of comfort and satisfaction away from the bitterness of life And I want to tell you something All my ideas have become a failure, and all that remains is your door in front of me. I am certain that you will help me and will not return me disappointed, and I know that you have a good heart that will help me, oh star that shines in me. the sky. All I hope is that you will not return me disappointed and that you will help me In response to the call

Your blessing means a lot to me

If you can't

help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏 Thank you.

https://gofund.me/198b6d57

shared, this one's very close!

Reblog if you’d actually care if I killed myself tonight…

Please don’t scroll past this…

Hey here are some small tips and tidbits from a bartender so y'all can write some realistic bartender aus!

believe it or not we drink on the job, it's rude to decline a drink offered to you by a customer

yes. I've gotten drunk on the job. yes it was cause I was bought a number of jagerbombs. no I didn't go home or fuck up.

'kiss the bartender' is a popular dare at small bars and private functions. whether it's on the cheek or on the lips is totally up to you

I have been offered people's number in a variety of ways. sometimes I've been handed a note, other times I've just been handed someone's phone on the 'add a new contact' page. girls are more direct, guys try the subtler approach of flirting until declined

Your average bartender doesn't always know cocktails. Especially if they're not on the menu.

Y'all cocktails are potent. If your character is downing ten long Island iced teas they're going to hospital

we live for tips. You could be the biggest cunt in the world but if tip me a fiver I'll put on a fake af smile and pretend you're a sound guy

speaking of. Young people tend to buy you drinks, older people tend to tip you.

There's a number of bar calls we use. 86 means we're out of stock. 68 means we're back in stock. More relevant for fic writers however: 700 means a hot customer, usually aimed at women but can be used for guys too. eg. 'lady in red. 700'

If someone asks what 700 means when asked. We lie through our teeth. We usually say it means you need serving or you look drunk.

That's all I can think of right now. But if you have any questions send me an ask! I've been a bartender for a while now, so I like to think I know my stuff.

I FOUND A PICTURE OF JOHN MULANEY IN COLLEGE AND??????? I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS MAN DID COCAINE

every single person who reblogs this with get a pun in their asks. every. single. person.

Aphmau: If you took a shot for every bad thing you've done, how drunk would you be?

Aaron: Maybe a bit tipsy?

Travis: Drunk.

Zane: Wasted.

Gene: Dead.