It’s “kill Your Rapist’ When It’s A Sticker You Can Sell On Etsy But “she’s The Abuser Actually”

"What will you do if you don't have friends, a relationship or a community when times get rough?"

The problem with this way of thinking is the amount of effort I have to pour into a black hole, for an undisclosed amount of time, out of fear. Not out of love or genuine connection. Today, almost every relationship is created out of fear or lack therefore it is a counterfeit connection. I have to invest hours per day/week talking to somebody about nothing so I have a HOPE that they will bail me out one day. I'd rather use that time to practice the art of remaining in a positive state of pure consciousness; commit to the Great Work of restructuring my mental patterns so I can create what I want at the moment I need it. To depend on somebody, who isn't even a real person but an amalgamation of identities that they think we share, is Soul-death. In other words, I don't plan on my life imploding nor will I use somebody else's life as an example of what could happen to me. If I must engage in useless pondering, I will always use constructive examples, not destructive ones. All I can do is remain in the present moment and take each minute at a time and I will always choose my happiness right now over a past trauma or future anxiety.

I’ve been seeing my mutuals (on my main) reblogging that “transwoman transition masterpost” over and over and it finally hit me what was bothering me about it, especially the passing socially tips section that summarized went somewhat like;

“Emulate your ciswomen friends, choose a friend you like the most, how they talk, act, walk, stand, how women they act in movies, choose what woman you want to be, elegant, sexy? Makeup is a must, shaving is a must, women talk with emotion, Look at how women act in their idle time etc”

It consisted of all of the stereotypes in the book, all of the concepts we as feminists have been fighting for years to stop associating with womanhood being once again being romanticized and normalized and promoted under feminism

And it just reeks of male gaze male gaze male gaze, it profits off it, validates it’s enforcement on us, tells males how to mimick us and continue to perpetuate so many actions we do subconsciously and compulsory because of our own female socialization and gender roles, our “mannerisms” and “habits” etc i get flashbacks from reading the Reddit tips on “how to pee like a woman where it’s advice was to listen in on ciswomen urinating in public bathrooms, and how it echoes the way some men fetishize women peeing.

Then they have the audacity to tell us it’s us that are demeaning ourselves by knowing it’s our body that makes us women and not these compulsions? It’s misogyny and sexism plain and simple, And it just makes me so much more hyper aware now that not only do we have the sexual male gaze from straight non dysphoric men to deal with but now the transwoman male gaze, looking for the best way to mimick our behaviors and enforce gender stereotypes in a way we are not allowed to question or be bothered by

We celebrate David Bowie, Freddie Mercury and Prince for their gender-nonconforming amazingness as we should, but let us not forget

Annie Lennox

Grace Jones

Sinead O‘Connor

Dolores O‘Riordan

Patti Smith

Tracy Chapman

Please add if you like, i do not own the photos

"The computer's processes have unwittingly advanced the cause of women and images, even though these aspects of computer operation have nothing to do with the computer's content, which is the manipulation of information. The world of cyberspace is a computer-generated extension of the human mind into another dimension. The computer has carried human communication across a threshold as significant as writing, and cyberspaces's reliance on electromagnetism and photographic reproduction will only lead to further adjustments in consciousness that favor a feminine worldview. Irrespective of content, the processes used to maneuver in cyberspace are essentially right hemispheric. The World Wide Web and the Internet are both metaphors redolent of feminine connotations."

-The Alphabet Versus the Goddess by Leonard Shlain

A pretty interesting read. It analyzes the advancement in literacy throughout time and some of its pros and cons. It also brings up how we have become predominantly left brained due to the (often forced) use of our right hands, and how this has promoted linear thinking. It may not be a common practice anymore, but I've heard stories of educators hitting left-handed kids with rulers until they learned to write with their right hand. It's a strange thing to enforce, and it really makes one think...

The advancement in technology has a dark side, but the author suggests that some good will emerge in a new "Golden Age" where both right and left brain thinking reach some sort of equilibrium with the use of the internet. This is also interesting since I've been seeing parents, educators, and whoever else talking about the decline in reading amongst children. I'm starting to wonder if there will be a larger shift from text and back to image. Picture books/graphic novels seem to be grasping the attention of adults and children alike more and more throughout the years (if they weren't already). This is an observation of the English language, of course, since there are places that utilize symbols and characters in their writing.

I’ve been trying this out and it’s been quite helpful 🤗

a couple years ago the eric carle museum of picture book art had an exhibit on diane & leo dillon who are responsible for so many iconic illustrations. i went back twice just to see the collection again. this is a sliver of their work— it’s hard to find high res images.

Addressing my Shadow Self

Western culture thrives on creating a victim narrative for anybody who goes through a difficult period in life.

We are much more resilient than we give ourselves credit for; the most traumatizing thing that has happened to all of us is experiencing birth. We got through it as infants back then, and we can get through our traumas now. The difference is now we have incorporated our traumas as a part of our Selves instead of taking it as a lesson.

During my childhood, I had a run-in with a teenager who must've been put through a traumatic experience along with other questionable moments I won't detail here, but that along with the rest of my life was an initiation into the person I am now. Only a self-absorbed person would think they're the only ones who have ever felt pain and demand the world stop and acknowledge their pain.

If I dwelled on that time in my life, I would've been developmentally arrested, trying to make sense of something that isn't supposed to be made sense of by my conscious mind.

I’m a firm believer that there was something in me that attracted that situation. Looking back, my thoughts were fucked up, yes, even as a 9-year-old, so I got what I deserved. Everybody has been through some type of initiation by the time they're adults, you are not the only one who has experienced something negative in their life. Not everybody is interested in making noise about a disturbed person doing disturbing shit. Sinister occurrences are normal here.

Our youth doesn't protect us from the perils of the world; cosmic intelligence has different rules from human intelligence. Everybody is treated equally, even the cutest animals will get cooked, so humans aren't protected from the same fate. I'll ask once again: what makes one person special from the next? Really, tell me. We all go through life so we can empathize with each other’s perspective on the world. If you don’t want any experiences, why are you here?

When you become obsessed with your trauma, there is a higher chance you will want to recreate and relive it to make sense of it and there is no shortage of people who are waiting around to help you do that.

This is mutual abuse and this lowers the vibration of the planet and guess what? You're no longer the victim especially if you procreate. When you're trying to "make sense" of a moment for 20 years and you're running through multiple partners, trying to find the one who can give you that moment over and over again means there's a part of you that likes getting hurt. Seeking pain is your shadow’s will; your shadow wants to go through certain experiences so it can make itself known. The longer you ignore your shadow the most hostile its takeover.

Those who do not make their trauma their identity and have healed tend to be the ones who understand the purpose of trauma; it's to wake us up to the truth of this world and behave accordingly.

Trauma is supposed to leave an imprint on you so you operate in truth. That trauma was for you because you have a specific purpose you could not possibly fulfill until you experienced that. Nobody else has to relate to it, and nobody has it worse or better than you; trauma's purpose is not to compare yourself to others because you really have no idea what other people are going through. The point of your trauma is to learn to have unconditional acceptance of yourself and the world regardless of what happens. It’s to let you know you cannot change the world, but you can change yourself. Half of the battle people are fighting is their own narcissism... that they shouldn't have to learn anything here like the rest of us; they truly think they should be here to rest, eat fruit and have a community take care of them. Trauma is our wake-up call.

You are not going to have a good time here unless you learn this place and how to navigate it.

A lot of people cannot cope with this truth which is why they come up with labels and futility try to protest the Earth's cycle. The years of truth in everybody's life is 27-33, this is also when many people take their life. If you're in this age range and you still haven't gotten the memo that you're on a polarized planet, you should be placed on suicide watch until you get it.

When it comes to the shadow, most people want the persona without the darker parts of the human being. Everybody is giving each other ultimatums to change instead of just removing that person from their life. You cannot tell somebody to change the course of their life they wanted to go on, that's for them to experience. People threaten each other into following "The Right Way to Be" and then they have the nerve to talk about "love." Love doesn't exist when you cannot accept somebody's shadow. When women start threatening males about dying alone (and vice versa) because males didn't follow the script, that is not love. I'm of the opinion that nobody needs to do anything. We have choices and making somebody do something unnatural to them or lying about their capabilities is hatred.

Andrea Dworkin complete works

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An in-person conversation I had with my sister after mentioning Harry Potter (she’s in quotes):

“Fuck jk Rowling”

Random. Why?

“She’s a TERF”

How?

“She wrote all that shit about trans people”

What did she write?

“Like, a whole essay.”

Okay, so what did she say exactly?

“She basically said-“

No. I mean ‘exactly’. What’s a direct quote from her essay that’s 100%, indisputably, transphobic.

“I mean. She’s said a lot.”

yeah, I’m asking you to tell me, though. I’m genuinely curious.

“Idk. I don’t feel like reading it.”