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Latest Posts by hushpuppy5-blog - Page 2
I can't help but vent on this one. My parents get upset whenever I dare to have a social life, because that means I can't play the third parent for my younger sisters. They never wanted a female child, but boy are they glad I exist when it's time to take the "mommy" role. Unfortunately, I often get frustrated with myself because of it. Whenever I say "no", they say I'm being ungrateful and useless, then bring up the fact that they did everything for me, so now I need to return the favor...
I got so used to being on my own schedule while away at school. I had an apartment then, so I got a taste of what independence felt like. Now I'm back at home, and I have all these responsibilities dumped on me as a result until I can afford my own place. I didn't ask for these responsibilities and it feels weird getting blamed for not taking care of the kids I never asked for (and kids THEY never planned). They say I'm single and child free so I should have ALL the time in the world. It doesn't feel like that at all.
And my 5 year old sister calls me Mama sometimes. I'd like to think that it's a joke, but something tells me that I'm not just a sister to her.
At the bare minimum, becoming a first-class parent requires years of studying human development, having real-world experience/knowledge of the circumstances you're birthing your child into, transformation of Self and the ability to consistently maintain the frequency of Love.
Since this is not the case for most parents, it is completely understandable why the world is what it is today and why parents feel as if they are devalued in their "contributions"... their contributions simply are not valuable to the world.
a couple years ago the eric carle museum of picture book art had an exhibit on diane & leo dillon who are responsible for so many iconic illustrations. i went back twice just to see the collection again. this is a sliver of their work— it’s hard to find high res images.
This is a hottake. I've been thinking about this for a while. There are lesbian women that have this intense desire to get pregnant and start families. Of course, that means they'll need to use male sperm. That just feels like a dangerous game to play - especially considerng that the sperm is parasitic by nature. Also, aren't there enough children on this planet? I guess I'm stereotyping, but I never considered some lesbians would fall for the white picket fence fantasy so hard. And many people don't think to adopt because they only want children that look like them (as if that guarantees those children will grow up to become their carbon copies and behave exactly the way they do)...
One of the weapons abusive parents use against children is disgust. They might make comments on your appearance, weight, physical characteristics in a way that makes you ashamed to exist. They might look at you as if you’re the most repulsive thing they’ve ever seen. They might criticize your scent, your clothes, your hair, your state of dissaray, as if it’s something you deserve to be shamed for. They might bestow disgust over your actions, or expressions of pain. It’s possible for them to act the most repulsed and grossed out by you when you’re in pain, shaking, or crying. As if you’re so awful in every single way, that no human being should ever be around you or touch you except to hurt you.
But think about it, have you ever seen a kid that was disgusting to look at or be close to? They’re kids, they’re smaller, undeveloped, inexperienced, in a body that is not even fully grown to be criticized. Only human impulse is to protect and keep safe.
So were they really disgusted? If they still want you to obey them and to give them physical affection, unlikely. They know you’re just a child and there’s nothing wrong with you. The reasons for their ‘disgust’ run deeper.
Possibly they need to convince you that your body is disgusting so you’d feel too ashamed of it and cover it up. And hide the injuries they caused to it. Possibly they need an excuse to hurt or violate a child’s body; calling it disgusting is a very pathetic and transparent victim blaming technique. It’s also possible they want to control your body via shame – disgust hurts. Seeing others look at you like you’re the plague, when you’re just a child, hurts! They want you to ask 'what can I do so you’d stop hurting me? What do I need to do to stop being disgusting to you? So you wouldn’t hate me anymore?’ and this is what they use as leverage for control. Your pain and fear of being dehumanized.
And of course, they don’t want to see expressions of pain because it’s a consequence of their actions. They want to hurt a child but never experience themselves as the perpetrator who is now guilty for a child’s vocal suffering. And they want to neglect their responsibility to comfort and calm you. To reassure you and bring you back to feeling safe. So in the midst of causing pain to their kid, being responsible for suffering, being called to de-escalate the situation and comfort their pained child, what do they do? Pretend they’re busy being disgusted. Pretend their 'disgust’ is priority over everything they’ve done to you. Use disgust to hurt you one more time. Because you being hurt twice is better than them acknowledging they hurt you.
This type of abuse can alienate you from your body. Once it’s cemented in your mind that your body, you appearance, or your pain is the actual reason you’re being so despised, you will start to despise it too. You can become disgusted with your own body, or your actions and emotions, even your pain. But none of that is right. None of that was ever the fault of your body.
You were never disgusting. Nothing about your body, or your pain, was ever wrong or repulsive or worth doing damage to you. You were always okay just as you are. Your body did nothing wrong. Your pain was only ever human. We’re all the same, our bodies are human and warm and nothing about them is worth violating or hurting. We all long for affection and acceptance just the same. Nobody is disgusting, especially not children. There was never a reason to look at you that way, or to hurt you for the projected image of disgust that was never a part of who you are. You’re meant to be free of that shame. You’re okay as you are.
That's another thing I've noticed about feminism. There's a heavy focus on mother's needs and wants because they're the "creators" of every nation/country. Most of those mothers aren't even feminist (whatever that means anymore) and are still attached to XY partners. There's hardly ever been a focus on young women and girls, single women, child free women, spinsters, etc. Just women and girls who have opted out of or are not entirely a part of the world's machine.
Most mother-worshipping communities seem to only value the woman's presence as an incubator. Young girls are therefore dismissed from all praise and consideration until they reach their menstrual cycles. Only then is society hell-bent on uplifting them as baby makers in the making, not as individuals with the potential for actual empowerment. Young girls can't foresee a future without an XY because modern feminism has always been teaching them how to complain about circumstances that were avoidable for the most part. Their mothers have used feminism to complain about their own mistakes - heck, most of those young girls were their "mistakes" - then project those mistakes onto their daughters, telling them they won't do any better. That's practically the generational "curses" taking place. They're birthed with their mothers wanting them to suffer too (if they weren't wishing for a son the whole time, that is).
what made you move away from feminism, if you don't mind me asking?
My personal desire to do so. I'm not going to blame the movement. The more time you spend around women, the more you realize how male-centric their aspirations are. Opting out of reproduction and sexual gratification is oppression to them. Feminism is about making women's lives with men more palatable. I believe that attraction to men is oppressive, let alone acting out on it. My life started improving in earnest once I completely distanced myself from men and the women who made me doubt my judgement, cue feminist circles. Women are either unaware of what men are - read this book - , or thoroughly unintelligent because emotional fulfillment can absolutely be substituted. Women's pursuit of male affection is that of potential debasement and endurance. I say, why endure at all? If you cannot comprehend this question, we are unlikely to understand each other.
Shame comes from hiding the human's natural state (another talk on polarity)
There are no "decent" human beings. Everybody has skeletons in their closet they're hoping somebody else will accept and that is most likely the person they will enter into a romantic relationship with - somebody who accepts them. If you are attracted to scum, you are latent scum. You will always be attracted to the dark side you suppress (unconsciously) and think that person is just charming/unique when you're really looking at you. I am especially wary of those who never point out their own flaws - this is somebody who is likely attracted to narcissists because they have latent narcissistic traits in them - these are people who are riddled with shame, anxiety and low self-esteem. There are no books, therapy or meds that can help with your consciousness other than facing the truth of reality.
Those who call themselves a certain label are telling you who they are - with every label they have the capacity to become the adversary of that label. So if somebody is vocal about being anti-abortion, they also have pro-abortion ideologies and vice versa. This is with every label; everybody has the capability to be both, one or neither positions at any point in their life because they will naturally want to experience that state of being once they're satisfied with their conclusion of one aspect. There are even states of duality and non-duality because that is also a polarization we can believe in. Consequently, becoming anything will make you appear as "bad" in somebody's eyes, even if you are neutral which is now considered "supporting evil." Balance and compromise are what is actually "evil" You either chose one side or opt out of that world completely and accept that. 50:50-ing yourself throughout your life isn't a way to live and only causes more mental fragmentation.
Somebody who calls herself heterosexual but is actively suppressing her attraction to males because of her “beliefs” is highly likely to end up with a male because her attention is overwhelmingly on her attraction to males. Same with women whose entire identity is being attracted to women they will end up with the "one exception male" at some point in their life which is what the discourse about what a "real lesbian" is about. This is what happens when you pay attention to something: by law, your attention naturally flows to both polarizations of the aspect you are fixated on and it's in human nature to explore both sides. I can see that this post is my mirror, why can't other people see it as theirs? There is where blinders like being male-minded, having autism and following religion make their grand entrance to capitalize on a population who is completely unaware. The fingers you point are pointing back at you so you can learn from them.
This is why I place emphasis on being neutral because you can only become conscious through neutrality and acceptance of both sides of the truth. This is why you seemingly can't get a straight answer from spiritualists, they're not about to mess up their own neutralized state to validate a belief you'll go to the polarizing end of in a year. You're supposed to be in a state of non-resistance/fluidity, but since most people won't look at the whole truth, they become sick and stagnant.
Most people are unconscious, so they reveal their true intentions in everything they say even if they are unaware of it. Everything you are drawn to is a reflection of you because you want to understand this aspect of yourself further. Once you've embodied the truth, everybody becomes transparent; when they talk about what they hate, you can also see what they love. Most people's shadow is that they are really happy with the way the world is, so they will continue it. Since most of them are in denial that they have a part in the world they've created, they'll continue to suffer from mental illnesses and other diseases. There is no need to expend energy on saving them - they've chosen to do what they want.
Trauma is based on a similar polarizing concept: if you are scared of being abandoned, other people's actions will overwhelmingly be placed under the perception of you being abandoned. Holding on to the pain of an event you were supposed to learn from doesn't do anything but get you addicted to that pain and identify with it. As a result, you will become abusive to demonstrate how much pain you're in. Unconscious or mentally ill people are dangerous and it's all due to the shame of their true Self. Those who are addicted to pain are dead inside and continue to engage in dangerous situations and perceive hostility where there is none because it re-opens their wounds. Most people do not believe they can neutralize trauma and renew their minds, so they won't. The only cure for this is unconditional acceptance.
Those who are upfront about holding two perspectives at once or do not care about appearing hypocritical are the most balanced, aware and honest people because every truth does have two sides to it if you believe in polarity/duality or complexity in general. Anybody pushing only one side of the truth has an agenda or is an unconscious follower because there will always be an exchange no matter what path you choose to follow.
it's actually really weird to me that a lot of adults don't seem to remember the worst bits of being a child. were you not horribly aware of when adults were talking down to you as a child? don't you remember how little autonomy you were allowed, even when it came to things that seemed pretty harmless? don't you remember the times when adults would seemingly be assholes to you for no reason? even if you had nice and reasonable parents, didn't you ever have teachers or other adults in power who treated you disrespectfully? didn't it sting no matter how people justified it?
especially when I was a teenager, it seemed obvious to me & to most of my peers when an adult wasn't treating us with respect. you could almost smell it, in certain classrooms. there would be this palpable, shifting undercurrent of teenage dissatisfaction whenever some teachers started talking. and it made a lot of the kids act out! which of course made the teachers try to exert their power, which never worked because nobody respected them, which made them get more draconian, etc.
as a teen, I didn't really get why my peers and I seemingly had a superhuman sense for when an adult was on a power trip. but now I think I get it. kids are systematically denied autonomy, respect, and consistently have the validity of their experiences denied. like, flat-out. they're a vulnerable class of people made even more vulnerable by their lack of societal rights. being disrespected as a kid is so frequent that I would say it's a defining experience for most children. is it any wonder they tend to pick up on when an adult doesn't see them as worth listening to?
so yeah, of course a ton of kids want to be treated "like an adult." to them, that's synonymous with being treated like a human being worth listening to. it's up to you, as an adult, to understand that wish for what it is, and behave accordingly. you don't gotta be a child psychologist. you don't gotta be perfect at it. all you have to do is remember how painful adult disrespect could be when you were a kid & do your best to act with some compassion.
“The more we blame speech for violence, the more likely we are to use violence to stop speech.”
— Dan McLaughlin (via beyondthesleep)
Evolving is about progress, not perfection. Evolving is also a crossroad; an urgent feeling and necessary call to transform now. As we learn from our failures and convert them into our lessons of greater fortune and future possibilities, we evolve.
We’re are here to grow and develop into our highest potential, to build in gratitude, to give more of our selves, and to raise the vibration of the world for the light beings that will come after us. If we refuse to be open to the ever-expanding Universe within and around us and all that it has in store, the unproductive patterns and lessons will repeat. We will continue to stay in the same meaningless situations, unfulfilled relationships, and limited perspectives that lock us in repetition.
There is so much more for us on the other side of ‘repeating our same patterns and routines’. What areas in your life are you being inspired to step up and evolve in or through? •SupaNovaSlom
What to do when you don’t feel or look beautiful? Every where around me is beautiful women and some days I look at myself and feel I don’t measure up :/
Cultivate yourself in ways that make the way you look the least interesting thing about you. Read and learn, develop hobbies, pour yourself into friendships and craft and experience. The more varied and creative and entertaining your life becomes, the less and less it matters the shapes your flesh and bone make.
Who cares if your forehead has a line or two when you fill your days exploring the landscape around you? Who cares if your stomach pooches when you've read a hundred fantasy novels that take you far away? Does the sharpness of your jaw matter when you're laughing so hard with women you love that your gut feels like it's going to split? Does your calf firmness mean anything to the vibrancy of your vegetable garden?
Then, when you don't feel beautiful, think of all the things about you that are. Your knowledge, your kindness, your place in your community.
On your deathbed, will you wish you'd spent more time on your appearance, or more time pursuing that which you love?
“Some people are offended by raw natural beauty–by a woman being grounded in her body and undulating around life feeling beautiful without much effort or fuss. Since Ancient times, women have danced as a sign of belonging to Earth and made the world a more beautiful place for us all. Our ancestors were the ones who cultivated the superpower of natural beauty in the sacred feminine and it was used to defeat negative energy. Therefore do not secretly hate the lighthearted, the innocent, the erotic, or the playful. Like a wildflower, admire and gaze upon, but don’t ruin things for everyone by plucking and pulling it out of the ground. The organs of humankind benefit from seeing more natural beauty emanate.”
—
India Ame’ye Author (via eatmangoesnekkid)
Opening to “Cultivating Natural Beauty” Chapter (Unedited)
It was Abrahamic religion who taught us to be suspicious of the natural beauty of the sacred feminine ( (a deeply necessary energetic frequency that is part of earth and part of us all) , to fear it to bring temptation to “holy men.” This kind of woman who walked relaxed with her sex all the way out in front of her was ridiculed and punished by other patriarchal-infested women who felt threatened by the power of her beauty and unapologetically attractive, sensuous nature. She was akin to the devil and this kind of ignorance still lives in our subconscious, especially in the cells of women, and inhibits us from truly desiring to cultivate our natural beauty because we do not want to be hurt.
Cold climates lacked warm sun which meant that they were also devoid of sensuous and primal erotic power. They were the same places and spaces where the lack and scarcity principles around beauty and sex were born. In cold systems, cultivating natural beauty was never priority–these people were just trying to survive brutal weather, so of course, they didn’t respect natural beauty nor did they have the ease, resources, vitality, or desire to cultivate it. By the way, the sun is the greatest resource there is, even greater than fiat currency because it raises one’s magnetism for multidimensional creativity. Abrahamic religion saw beauty as unnecessary, frivilous, and even dangerous, but it was the ancestors of darker warmer people, whether African, Asian, etc. who took the Oracle of beauty very seriously by caring deeply for themselves (their cells) and adorning themselves accordingly.
When you take time to cultivate your natural beauty, you are arriving back home to your most potent and truthful essence and getting beyond the disembodiment traumas of our collective existence. When we begin to take 100 percent responsibility for our bodies, it bleeds over into feeling empowered enough to take 100 percent responsibility for our nutrition and wellness. This doesn’t mean that uou can’t wear designer labels, lipstick or whatever. You can, of course. But the aim is for it to become a pattern for you to be connected to your natural body that you begin emanate more naturally.
Let’s take the lips for example. To create a value system where it becomes habit to nurture your lips underneath your lipstick is incredible potency not just for your face but for your health. I mean, to truly love on and care for lips and not just cover them up with chemicals while scrolling on the internet, but desiring to take time to build a relationship with them, discover natural ways you can make them healthier and feel more luxurious to your own eye, so that your loving most truthful essence can proceed you where ever you land in the world. Building a relationship with every area of your body favorably impacts every area of your life. It’s all connected.
(via eatmangoesnekkid)
Ngl I feel like the only reason why birthing a newborn hurts so much is because we are not creating newborns through parthenogenesis, the baby is an invasive host in the mother's body sucking up all her nutrients, I mean why the hell would the immune system try to kill sperm during sex?
Or why do 1/4 in early stage pregnancies spontaneously end in miscarriages and most of them are male? That's because that baby isn't her, the mother host thinks it's something else, and the mother host can't recognize but this is just my theory tho lol
But I mean, there are also other factors like the way women give birth laying on their backs making it harder and longer to push the baby out because of gravity, Have you ever tried taking a shit lying on your back? That's literally the same thing when it comes to birthing a child lol
If the human body "requires" the death/destruction of another being's peace state, that particular body of humanity is in no way fit to continue existing. In the same way, if you require another being to physically reproduce yourself, that is a sign that you are not supposed to, hence why you are in genetic lockdown in the first place.. ie: The vagina attacks sperm because they are unwelcome guests hence why semen (which encases sperm) is forced to evolve even more diabolically to survive the terrain it treads because the male's role is to serve the ego (his own physical perpetuation at the expense of what's natural), while at the same time the female body is trying to unlock its own parthenogenic potential a la Ovarian Teratomas. But it fails because they have not been shown worthy genetically to proceed to the next round. You are not supposed to chest your way out (or in) when you want something to appear. The egoic way of life is going to die out in these coming millennia which is why the underclass is going to complain about veganism because it may seem to them that there's an "agenda against meat" when meat eating itself is an agenda against spirit and wholeness, and crosses every line of basic morality by virtue of being so damn close to the next step... cannibalism. I bet enough people will get on board if someone started preaching about protein quota contained in human flesh, but I digress. This is spiritual warfare and if you claim to be unable to survive without the destruction of others then you deserve not to survive.
You have to be selfish to be selfless. When you take care of yourself you automatically improve your environment. If you're always taking care of other people you will not be able to fulfill your purpose to the best of your ability or at all.
"The computer's processes have unwittingly advanced the cause of women and images, even though these aspects of computer operation have nothing to do with the computer's content, which is the manipulation of information. The world of cyberspace is a computer-generated extension of the human mind into another dimension. The computer has carried human communication across a threshold as significant as writing, and cyberspaces's reliance on electromagnetism and photographic reproduction will only lead to further adjustments in consciousness that favor a feminine worldview. Irrespective of content, the processes used to maneuver in cyberspace are essentially right hemispheric. The World Wide Web and the Internet are both metaphors redolent of feminine connotations."
-The Alphabet Versus the Goddess by Leonard Shlain
A pretty interesting read. It analyzes the advancement in literacy throughout time and some of its pros and cons. It also brings up how we have become predominantly left brained due to the (often forced) use of our right hands, and how this has promoted linear thinking. It may not be a common practice anymore, but I've heard stories of educators hitting left-handed kids with rulers until they learned to write with their right hand. It's a strange thing to enforce, and it really makes one think...
The advancement in technology has a dark side, but the author suggests that some good will emerge in a new "Golden Age" where both right and left brain thinking reach some sort of equilibrium with the use of the internet. This is also interesting since I've been seeing parents, educators, and whoever else talking about the decline in reading amongst children. I'm starting to wonder if there will be a larger shift from text and back to image. Picture books/graphic novels seem to be grasping the attention of adults and children alike more and more throughout the years (if they weren't already). This is an observation of the English language, of course, since there are places that utilize symbols and characters in their writing.
some people think writers are so eloquent and good with words, but the reality is that we can sit there with our fingers on the keyboard going, “what’s the word for non-sunlight lighting? Like, fake lighting?” and for ten minutes, all our brain will supply is “unofficial”, and we know that’s not the right word, but it’s the only word we can come up with…until finally it’s like our face got smashed into a brick wall and we remember the word we want is “artificial”.
Next time someone tells you women are meant to have children blah blah blah have them look up what a placenta is. We are so misinformed about the female body that despite most of us hearing that word before, we don’t really think about its role. The placenta is built by the embryo (not the mother) to essentially hide itself from the mother. Because otherwise she would KILL IT. It’s a foreign body with half of another person’s genetic code. Also we all have heard about the hormone HCG but most of us hear of it in regards to pregnancy tests and not the fact that it forces the mother’s uterus to start secreting a protein to feed the embryo. With every pregnancy, the fetus and mother are in competition. The fetus wants to grow and the mother tries to protect herself and not DIE. we are capable of pregnancy, we have the organs necessary to birth new life. This does NOT mean our organs are for anyone but ourselves. Every part of you is there FOR YOU. Regardless of what anyone might say. Don’t be ashamed of not wanting children. Don’t feel like a broken woman for not being able to have children. Don’t let anyone tell you your sexuality is wrong because it doesn’t result in offsprings.
— p. 3-4 of the Introduction to A Passion For Friends: Toward a Philosophy of Female Affection by Janice Raymond
“Women together are not women alone.”
Apollo and Poseidon both tried to take Hestia's virginity, her one-in-herself intactness. Rather than succumbing to their desires, however, she swore an oath of eternal chastity. What Hestia resisted by rejecting Apollo and Poseidon is metaphorically significant, corresponding to the intellectual and emotional forces that can pull a woman away from her center.
Hestia represents the Self, an intuitively known spiritual center of a woman's personality that gives meaning to her life. This Hestian centeredness may be invalidated if she "gives in to Apollo." Apollo was God of the Sun, and Apollonian has become equated with logos, the intellectual life, the primacy of logic and reasoning. If Apollo persuades a woman to give up her Hestian virginity, she will subject her inner, intuitively felt experience to the scrutiny of scientific inquiry. What she feels but cannot express in words is thus invalidated; what she knows as an inner wise woman is thus discounted unless it is supported by hard evidence. When “male” scientific skepticism is allowed to penetrate spiritual experience and to demand "proof," the invasion invariably violates a woman's sense of intactness and meaning.
Alternately, if a Hestia woman is "carried away by Poseidon," she is being overwhelmed by the God of the Sea. Poseidon represents the danger of being flooded by oceanic feelings or by contents that well up from the unconscious. When this flood threatens her, she may dream that a huge wave is bearing down on her. In waking life, preoccupation with an emotional situation may keep her from feeling centered. If the turmoil leads to depression, Poseidon's watery influence can temporarily "put out the fire at the center of Hestia's hearth."
When threatened by either Apollo or Poseidon, a Hestia woman needs to seek her one-in-herselfness in solitude. In quiet tranquility, she can once again intuitively find her way back to center.
-Jean Shinoda Bolen, Goddesses in Everywoman
What Are Women's Lands?
Reposted from The Women's Land Blog
Women's lands are privately-owned land that center women. The ethos of women's land can be simply summed up as women primarily focusing their energy towards each other.
In general, men are not allowed on women's land.
However, women's lands aren't about the absence of men. Rather, women's lands are about the presence of women, and what women can do to lift each other up when we choose to intentionally live together in community.
History Of Women's Lands
The first women's land was started in the United States in the late 1960s.
Over the next several decades, more and more women's lands were founded as intentional communities. Over the years, many disbanded, mainly due to internal conflict, lack of funding or the death of a key organizer.
However, a small handful of the original women's lands are still in existence and currently operating, with women living on them.
Where Are Women's Lands Located?
Most women's lands are located in rural areas in the United States. Many women's lands are set up so women who live there are surrounded by nature.
In 2023, there are about 50 women's lands located around the United States. The sizes of these women's communities range from 2-20 women, depending on the particular women's land. Ages of women who live on the land range from 25-80 years old.
There are also several women's lands located internationally, including in South America and Europe.
How Do Women's Lands Make Money?
Some women's lands make money through a cottage-industry system, where women on the land specialize in producing some specific kind of craft or produce that they can reliably sell to support the costs of living on the land.
Other women's lands support themselves by charging rent, usually at a lower-than-market-rate, to women who live on the land.
Traditionally, most women who live on women's land have worked some kind of day job in nearby local towns.
Today, with remote work widely available, there are lots of options for women who want to live on women's land to support themselves. It's become a lot easier to explore the possibility of renting for lower-than-market rate at a women's land near you.
Women's Lands & Lesbians
Historically, women's land are lesbian-majority spaces. Most of the women who come to women's land to visit or live there are lesbians.
Many of the women who live on women's lands are lesbians. Many of those lesbians are artists or writers, or both.
However, most women's lands are not lesbian-exclusive. Most women's lands welcome straight and bisexual women as residents or visitors.
What Is Living On Women's Land Like?
Living on a women's land typically means a lot of contact with nature, and a lot of community with other women. You'll have your own space, but you won't be alone.
You may find yourself skill-trading with other women: teaching them something you know, and learning something they know in return.
You may also find yourself bartering items, or giving and receiving gifts from other women on the land.
It's common to have some sort of shared chore system to make sure all the work to upkeep the land gets done. Back in the '70s, this sometimes meant working 8-hour shifts nearly every day just to finish all the many chores of the land: chopping wood, carrying water, cooking meals and washing dishes.
But these days, most women's lands no longer have regular communal meals, instead opting to host communal dinners only on holidays or a regular day of the week/month. Also, more infrastructure has led to significantly less chores.
Rents on women's lands are usually significantly below-market-rate for two reasons: to enable women to come live on the land, and in exchange for help with the land chores. Today, most individual women who live on women's land spend less than 10 hours per week on land chores.
If a woman is upkeeping a woman's land on her own, she's probably spending significantly more time than 10 hours per week doing land chores, and could probably use some help.
Many women's lands also host regular or semi-regular events on the land for the women who live there. Other women in the local neighborhood may also be invited.
A World Without Men
Most women's lands do not allow men, even as visitors.
Some women's lands allow a male service provider to visit the land on case of need, and often when a woman can't be found to do the same job.
Some women's lands allow male relatives of women who live on the land to visit.
Some women's lands allow the sons of women who live there to temporarily live on the land, often (but not always) until age 18.
There are several women's lands that allow trans women and AFAB non-binary people to visit or live there.
However, most women's lands are exclusive to biological women.
Average Age Range On Women's Land
On any given women's land, ages of the women who live there tend to range between 25-80 years old.
It's very common to go to women's land and meet older women who would be happy to teach you new skills, mentor you, give you advice, lend their wisdom or even just a listening ear.
If you're a younger woman, you'll find no shortage of elders to learn from. You'll also find your skills very much appreciated, whether you are able to help lift heavy items or assist the older generation with your computer skills.
If you are an older woman, you'll find many other older women living on women's lands, all helping each other out to the best of their ability in various stages of retirement. Common shared activities are doing puzzles, making art, writing workshops, drum circles, playing scrabble, playing cards, building bonfires, howling at the moon and taking care of animals on the land.
How To Visit Women's Land
The first step to visiting a women's land is finding out whether or not you have a local women's land in your area. Some states, like Oregon and California, have more women's lands than others.
The next step is getting vetted. Once you've figured out where the closest women's land is to you, you need to reach out to that women's land directly to indicate that you want to visit. If you don't have their contact info, or can't find it on the internet, you can email the author of this blog post to request information about women's lands near you.
Each women's land has their own vetting process for new visitors. After all, this women's land isn't just a tourist spot. It's also the home of the women who live there. You will need to build trust with the women of the land before you can get an invite to their home.
Getting vetted could be as simple as a phone call, or as in-depth as sitting down for a coffee in a nearby town. The woman vetting you may even reach out to a few women she knows to see if someone has heard of you and can vouch for your good intentions.
If you have dreams of living on a women's land, it's a good idea to start off as a visitor. You'll need to get to know the women on the land and build some trust with the community before the woman who owns the land is ready to rent to you. Focus on ways you can give back, like bringing a small gift (of food, vegan to be safe) or asking if there are any small chores you can help out with while you're visiting.
Renting On Women's Land
Women's lands often have a series of rustic cabins or cottages that you can rent at below-market-rate. But what's living on a women's land like?
1. WI-FI: Many women's lands have limited or slow wifi. Some have no wifi, either because no one needed it or because not having wifi was an intentional lifestyle choice. If you want high-speed wifi, prepare to step up and help your local women's land figure out how to install or upgrade their wifi.
2. Water: While many women's lands have hot water, not all do. However, all women's lands have running water. At some women's lands, you may need to carry water to your dwelling.
3. Plumbing: Almost all women's lands have plumbing or at least outhouses. Some have regular plumbing, while others have various eco-friendly solutions, like composting toilets.
4. Kitchen: Each women's land is different. A women's land may have a communal kitchen, or kitchen facilities may be located inside each individual dwelling.
5. Laundry: Some women's lands have shared washer/dryers. Others handwash and line-dry their clothing.
6. Firepit: Many women's lands have shared firepits where women can sit around and talk.
7. Electricity: Most women's lands have electricity. Some women's lands may have limited electricity, so you'll need to be mindful of how much power you're drawing.
If there's one takeaway, know that most women's lands, to one extent or another, have limited amenities.
If you move to a women's land, you'll be living rough and close to the land.
But while you'll have your own space, you'll never be lacking in the company of other women, whether for a neighborly chat or a listening ear.
Find Women's Land Near You
The location of women's lands are typically secret or underground. If you're a young person, or a young lesbian who wants to visit women's land, you may have trouble finding women's land near you.
Because women's lands are so deep underground, finding them can entail some serious legwork. You may need to know the right woman to find out where your local women's land is, or even what the women's lands name is!
To find women's land near you, visit the women's land map. Reach out directly to the women's land in your area, or in an area you'll be travelling to, for more info about how you can visit. Expect to undergo a vetting process that can be as quick as a phone call or as extensive as an in-person meetup.
If you are a lesbian in the United States, or a woman of any sexual orientation who wants to learn more about women's lands near you, email findwomensland at gmail dot com to get information about women's lands in your local area.
Periods? A Bloody Waste of Time 🩸
I'm entirely convinced at this point that anything that they tell us (women) is normal is actually bad for us. While pregnancy from male insemination can be avoided, periods are a different matter. I am certain that they are not meant to be painful at all, nor are we meant to bleed so heavily. If a period is (as some claim) truly the removal of toxins and other fluids, are we not going to analyze what the heck is intoxicating us to begin with?
I saw this documentary a while ago called "Red Moon: Menstruation, Culture, and the Politics of Gender" were several women were discussing the stigmatization of periods. I don't remember which part it was exactly, but they were mentioning how painful periods were an energy thing. For some women, especially those who have suffered from abuse in their past, something may energetically be going on with each monthly release. I think it even goes beyond that.
This world's version of normal seems to be in praise of degeneracy at every corner of life. Pregnancy is normal, yet many women die from it or leave with life long scars (physically and emotionally). Intercourse (which seems to skirt itself alongside pure violence) is normal, yet many women leave with disease or some form of mental disorder. Periods are normal, but many women suffer monthly from it to the point where they can become immobile for a day or two. It seems that just as man has intoxicated nature, he has intoxicated the women as well. Expertly so. Now women have convinced themselves and others that pain and suffering is normal. I found this document online discussing some doctors who observed the difference between the western women and who they called "primitive" women. The western women were described as having highly acidic bodies, whilst the other group of women had alkaline bodies.
During the study, the women who consumed more animal products were more susceptible to bleeding heavier and for a longer period during their menstrual. With the alkaline women who consumed more plant based foods, the menstruation almost ceased to exist.
Modern doctors will claim that the absence of a period is signs of a terrible condition. They'll even suggest that an eating disorder it at play. It's interesting they'll say that losing your periods is unnatural, but popping a pill full of foreign chemicals to "regulate" it is totally not cause for future concerns. Speaking of eating disorders—from a western perspective—arguably many people already have eating disorders. We eat until our bellies our stretched beyond normal, and we consume foods that are lifeless and will end up rotting in our stomachs. I do believe that an aspect of periods is normal, given their spiritual nature. In ancient times, they hinted at a connection between the cycles of the moon. This was when women could be most in tune with their bodies and souls, perhaps harnessing spirtual powers that may have been dulled any other time. Now, women are lying in bed curdling in pain during that time of the month. Not much can be done productively. Of course, not all women have this problem, but plenty do.
This is just some speculation though. For me personally, omitting meat and other animal products from my diet has changed the way I think. I'm only four months in though, and my decision to do this was spontaneous and came about due to some health concerns for mine. I have had asthma and eczema for most of my life. These are two inflammatory conditions that have left me breathless and peeling off my own skin to a gross degree. Since reducing my consumption of eggs and milk and taking out meat completely, I've been breathing better and I've had little to no rashes. As a shift to something completely plant based, I'm curious as to how it will further effect me physically alongside my future menstrual cycles as well. Again, this is just the case for myself and could effect others differently. I just know that society doesn't care for case by case conditions and wants EVERYBODY to do the exact same thing healthwise, regardless of how it effect them personally. They've been choosing death for us for centuries. Now, when some of us choose life, they want to call it dangerous pseudoscience. Spare me. Women need to get to know their own bodies on a personal level. Many modern doctors aren't healers. They're band-aid solutions. This includes female doctors, since they are getting paid too. We need to be in charge of our own health and start educating ourselves.
Periods were once considered the first curse on women. Perhaps they still are. They certainly aren't desired. This isn't to take the Christian perspective of "woman bad", but there are hidden truths within these ancient books that must be analyzed. In the case of Eve, she suffered two curses from God in Genesis 3:16:
"I will make your pains in childbearing very severe; with painful labor you will give birth to children."
And
"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."
There's no explicit mention of periods here, but pregnancy and periods go hand in hand on the pain spectrum it seems. The second quote is also intriguing. This desire for her husband is linked to pain as well as "inequality". I believe that her desire for Adam makes them far more equal than we realize. She suffers with him in his degeneracy now, although on a different level. It's also notable that her suffering is more severe and constant. Would she have this pain if she loved "God" more than Adam? Or if she loved herself more than Adam?
There are so many questions, many left unanswered. Regardless, there can be a more optimistic lens to this. Like many curses, perhaps this one can be broken.
“Generosity is a natural consequence of embodying abundance consciousness. When you are abundant, your heart is big and you instinctively love to give to others because you are overflowing and have so much to give. It’s important finding ways to expand your capacity for generosity as you move throughout your days in order to break those Western karmic codes of stinginess and carelessness –lack of feeling and care for others and life. When you are abundant, you love to see people well and thriving. Evolving beyond these psycho-somatic karmic ties advances our consciousness greatly. What’s also equally important to know is that true giving is not self-depleting. If giving exhausts you, then it is not true giving but martyrdom and self-sacrifice, those blockages our Big Mamas, Ma'Deres, Grandmothers, and Abuelitas knew very well, from their breasts to their solar plexuses to their quality of breathing. True giving adds value to self and others. It energizes and deeply connects. And it frees us eventually.”
—
Addressing my Shadow Self
Western culture thrives on creating a victim narrative for anybody who goes through a difficult period in life.
We are much more resilient than we give ourselves credit for; the most traumatizing thing that has happened to all of us is experiencing birth. We got through it as infants back then, and we can get through our traumas now. The difference is now we have incorporated our traumas as a part of our Selves instead of taking it as a lesson.
During my childhood, I had a run-in with a teenager who must've been put through a traumatic experience along with other questionable moments I won't detail here, but that along with the rest of my life was an initiation into the person I am now. Only a self-absorbed person would think they're the only ones who have ever felt pain and demand the world stop and acknowledge their pain.
If I dwelled on that time in my life, I would've been developmentally arrested, trying to make sense of something that isn't supposed to be made sense of by my conscious mind.
I’m a firm believer that there was something in me that attracted that situation. Looking back, my thoughts were fucked up, yes, even as a 9-year-old, so I got what I deserved. Everybody has been through some type of initiation by the time they're adults, you are not the only one who has experienced something negative in their life. Not everybody is interested in making noise about a disturbed person doing disturbing shit. Sinister occurrences are normal here.
Our youth doesn't protect us from the perils of the world; cosmic intelligence has different rules from human intelligence. Everybody is treated equally, even the cutest animals will get cooked, so humans aren't protected from the same fate. I'll ask once again: what makes one person special from the next? Really, tell me. We all go through life so we can empathize with each other’s perspective on the world. If you don’t want any experiences, why are you here?
When you become obsessed with your trauma, there is a higher chance you will want to recreate and relive it to make sense of it and there is no shortage of people who are waiting around to help you do that.
This is mutual abuse and this lowers the vibration of the planet and guess what? You're no longer the victim especially if you procreate. When you're trying to "make sense" of a moment for 20 years and you're running through multiple partners, trying to find the one who can give you that moment over and over again means there's a part of you that likes getting hurt. Seeking pain is your shadow’s will; your shadow wants to go through certain experiences so it can make itself known. The longer you ignore your shadow the most hostile its takeover.
Those who do not make their trauma their identity and have healed tend to be the ones who understand the purpose of trauma; it's to wake us up to the truth of this world and behave accordingly.
Trauma is supposed to leave an imprint on you so you operate in truth. That trauma was for you because you have a specific purpose you could not possibly fulfill until you experienced that. Nobody else has to relate to it, and nobody has it worse or better than you; trauma's purpose is not to compare yourself to others because you really have no idea what other people are going through. The point of your trauma is to learn to have unconditional acceptance of yourself and the world regardless of what happens. It’s to let you know you cannot change the world, but you can change yourself. Half of the battle people are fighting is their own narcissism... that they shouldn't have to learn anything here like the rest of us; they truly think they should be here to rest, eat fruit and have a community take care of them. Trauma is our wake-up call.
You are not going to have a good time here unless you learn this place and how to navigate it.
A lot of people cannot cope with this truth which is why they come up with labels and futility try to protest the Earth's cycle. The years of truth in everybody's life is 27-33, this is also when many people take their life. If you're in this age range and you still haven't gotten the memo that you're on a polarized planet, you should be placed on suicide watch until you get it.
When it comes to the shadow, most people want the persona without the darker parts of the human being. Everybody is giving each other ultimatums to change instead of just removing that person from their life. You cannot tell somebody to change the course of their life they wanted to go on, that's for them to experience. People threaten each other into following "The Right Way to Be" and then they have the nerve to talk about "love." Love doesn't exist when you cannot accept somebody's shadow. When women start threatening males about dying alone (and vice versa) because males didn't follow the script, that is not love. I'm of the opinion that nobody needs to do anything. We have choices and making somebody do something unnatural to them or lying about their capabilities is hatred.
Cosmic intelligence is the same intelligence that creates the stars, planets, trees, flowers, mammals, and man. It also operates within human consciousness. It courses through the mind to direct its development. The mature state recognizes its part in the fundamental flow of life. Existence is made up of three states or identities. The first state is at a lowest level. To be whole requires advancement from the original base state through two more states of mind. The unconscious state begins in an animal nature (ego) that is self-absorbed. It wants its needs met and uses others to meet those needs. It is characterized by three traits: insensitivity to others, ignorance of the mind’s life cycle, and indifference to its impact on the environment. The ego lacks basic awareness of interconnections among things, how each fits into the other. It fails to put things in a context where meaning is revealed through relations of one thing to another. It is unable to see parts as belonging to the interdependent wholeness of life. A universal current flows through all three states of existence to fix them on a timeline. In terms of self-awareness, the ego that is unconscious is urged to reach the second state of human nature (self). This state of mind is aware of its impact on others and on the world. It takes responsibility for its own growth. Open to mythical communication, it seeks unity. Conscious of being conscious, it is attuned to inner directives that upgrade perception until the ideal vision manifests. By assimilating the whole truth, the subject becomes the Object (divine humanity). The popular translation for the endgame is “to be made in God’s image.” Enlightened awareness manifests as human goodness.
The first mind does not know it doesn’t know. The second mind is ready to let symbols and insights teach it what there is to know. In short, the first mind does not know it. The second mind does know it. The third mind not only knows it but becomes it.
-The Winged Serpent by Marilyn Kraft
I found this document called "The Asexual Manifesto" and thought it was interesting in how it addressed asexuality amongst women in some 1970s feminist groups:
The Asexual Manifesto (1972) was recently found by Caoimhe Harlock on Twitter. It is available as a pdf. I have transcribed it below for better accessibility. The format mimics the original, except for the placement of the footnote on the first page. The Asexual Manifesto was also excerpted in Shere Hite’s book, Sexual Honesty (1974); I have separately transcribed the excerpt and noted what was left out. Feel free to use this in any way.
--Siggy, 6/22/2019
I wrote an article explaining some of the context of the Manifesto. --Siggy, 8/9/2019
The Asexual Manifesto
Lisa Orlando, Asexual Caucus, NYRF *
* In September 1972, the Co-ordinating Council of New York Radical Feminists formed caucuses based on similarity of sexual orientation. Each caucus was to explore its members' personal and political attitudes about their sexuality and communicate these views to the larger group. Barbie Hunter Getz and I realized that we would not feel comfortable in any of the proposed caucuses (heterosexual, Lesbian, bisexual) and formed our own. Out of this caucus came a paper of which the “Asexual Manifesto” is a revision. That the paper’s plural form has been retained does not imply that all the views expressed in this final version necessarily reflect the views of both the original co-authors.
I. Origin and Definition.
Our experiences with sexuality have not been congruent with our feminist values. As our consciousness became raised on this issue we began to see how sex had permeated our lives and the lives of others. We categorized our relationships in terms of sex ----- either friends or lovers. We engaged in a "sizing up" process, however subtle or subconscious, with each new person, accepting or rejecting her/him as a possible sexual partner even if we never intended to become sexually involved. We arbitrarily rejected whole groups of people as unsuitable for intimate relationships because we assumed that such relationships, by definition, necessarily included sex. Often we chose to spend time with people simply on the basis of their sexual availability (the “bar scene”). As we became aware of this in ourselves, we became painfully aware of how we were being objectified by others.
Asexuality is an outgrowth of this consciousness. It is a concept we have come to employ out of the wish to communicate ----- not merely through being but also through language ----- our struggle to rid ourselves of sexism in our personal lives.
In this paper we have used the terms “sex” and “sexual” to describe any activity one goal of which is genital excitation or orgasm. Physical affection and sensuality (including kissing) are not, by this definition, sexual unless they are directed towards the goal of genital excitation.
We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad. “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”. This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression. Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.
II. Philosophy
Our philosophy of asexuality grew out of our personal ethics, which have been reshaped by our feminist consciousness. To us, as to many other women, feminism means more than the fight against sexism. It means "sisterhood" ----- a new way of relating, perhaps a new way of life. Feminist morality, at this stage in history, can only be defined as antithetical to the oppressive values of our society (e.g., competition, objectification). On a personal level, it is reflected in our beliefs that: we should attempt to relate to others in their totality as much as possible and not view them as objects existing for the gratification of our needs; we must not exploit others ----- that is, use them “unjustly or improperly” ----- nor allow ourselves to be exploited; we must not be dishonest with ourselves or those we respect. In addition, we believe that we each have the responsibility for examining our behavior, determining how it has been affected by sexist conditioning, and changing it if it does not meet our standards.
As feminists we had decried the sexual exploitation of women by men without seeing that we too had used others “unjustly and improperly”. Interpersonal sex is not an instinctive behavior pattern; it is behavior we have learned to use for the satisfaction of a need (for orgasm) which we can easily satisfy for ourselves. We came to see this use of others as exploitative and realized that in allowing others to use us in this way we were acquiesing in our own exploitation.
In our attempt to be honest with ourselves, we tried to determine what our real needs are. We saw that we have needs for affection, warmth, skin contact, which we had been taught to satisfy through interpersonal sex. As we began to satisfy these needs in our "friendships," our need for and interest in sex diminished. We also realized that we had a need for intimacy, a state we had always seen as "completed" by sex. In retrospect, we realized that we, and others, had used sex as a means of self-deception, as a way of avoiding real closeness rather than achieving it.
We had struggled against our conditioning in many ways, especially in terms of roles, but we had avoided examining the basic conditioning which had shaped our sexuality. It is difficult even to speculate on the nature of "ideal sexuality" (uninfluenced by sexism) but we are certain that it would not occupy as much of our lives as it does in this society. We live in a culture of "fetish-worshippers" who regard sex with an extreme and irrational amount of attention. Just as many of us were conditioned to direct our energy into the preparation of lavish meals, creating a fetish out of a simple need to avoid confrontation with the emptiness of our lives as women, so we were conditioned to seek sexual satisfaction in convoluted and circuitous ways. Since our involvement with feminism, our lives have been increasingly meaningful and we no longer feel the need for fetishes.
In examining our experiences relative to our values, we have come to asexuality as a stand and a state of being concurrently. Interpersonal sex is no longer important to us, no longer worth the distorted and often destructive role it has played in relationships. It no longer defines our relationships or in any way constitutes our identities. As asexual women, we do not (1) seek, initiate, or continue relationships in order to experience interpersonal sex, (2)use others for the satisfaction of our sexual needs or allow ourselves to be so used, (3) attempt to satisfy other needs (e.g. for affection, warmth, intimacy) through interpersonal sex, or (4) perceive others according to their potential, or lack of it, as sex partners. In essence then, our asexuality reflects a rejection of interpersonal sex as long as it cannot meet our conditions: that it be both congruent with our values and totally incidental and unimportant to our relationship.
III Politics
Basic to the liberation of women is the destruction of sexism, one manifestation of which is the sexual exploitation of women by men. Asexuality is a step towards achieving this goal at the personal level, as it eliminates one means by which men oppress us. Through our asexuality, we have excluded sex as a goal and, essentially, even as a possibility in any relationships we may happen to have with men.
Because of the patriarchal culture which has resulted from institutionalized sexism, the exploitative behavior, standard in such a culture, has made it extremely difficult for women to realize their own independent, more humane style of relating. Most women consequently reflect, in their relationships with each other, some of the exploitative behavior patterns characteristic of our male oppressors. One area where the oppression of women by women may occur is, again, the sexual; this oppression too must end before we can be truly free. Through asexuality, we have rejected sex as a goal in our relationships with women, thus avoiding the sexual objectification, exploitation, and oppression of our sisters. Here too, we reject any possibility of sex unless our conditions are met, and we thereby prevent ourselves from being sexually exploited and oppressed.
To destroy a particular culture’s basic myths is to undermine its very foundations. Patriarchal culture, based as it is on sex differentiation, has constructed some of its strongest myths around sexuality. We believe it is of prime importance that feminism direct itself to the exposure and destruction of the current patriarchal mythology which, through deception, reinforces our oppression. Those myths most responsible for the distorted role sex plays in women's lives are:
Interpersonal sex is essential since the sex drive is a powerful force in human life and, if unsatisfied (through interpersonal sex), tends to produce unhappiness or possibly illness,
It is important that any sexual excitation always and/or immediately be satisfied,
Sex is essential for closeness in a relationship, no relationship being complete without it,
The ultimate closeness in a relationship occurs during sex and/or orgasm,
The needs for physical affection and sex are basically the same,
It is almost impossible satisfactorily to express affection physically without sexual excitation also occurring,
Women who have little interest in interpersonal sex, or who rarely if ever reach orgasm, are somehow inadequate.
While all these myths may not be credible to all women, some women believe some of them some of the time.
Finally, we see a conflict between, on the one hand, the time and energy necessary to our struggle as feminists, and, on the other hand, the time and energy necessary to develop and maintain relationships in which sex is a goal. If we would use our energy efficiently, a choice seems indicated: to struggle against sexism or to struggle for satisfactory sex. Although it may be said that to turn one’s back on a problem is not to solve it, we think the truth of this statement is relative to the importance one places on the problem. If we saw interpersonal sex as important, asexuality would be a cop-out; since we do not, it is instead a means of withdrawing our energy from an area in which we feel it is being wasted.
We see asexuality as an efficient "alternative life-style" for revolutionary women but we do not claim that “asexuality is revolution.” We call ourselves “self-identified women” but we do not demand that all feminists adopt this title. Our statement is simply this: as a result of examining the nature of our sexuality and reclaiming it from the sexist misconceptions surrounding it, we are able to form and maintain relationships in a way which both reflects our values and is effective in our liberation struggle. For us, asexuality is a committment to defy and ultimately to destroy the baseless concepts, surrounding both sex and relationships, which support and perpetuate the patriarchy.
Being around other young women (certain ones at least), I’ve noticed that they always want me to dissect myself alongside themselves. We can be in the public restroom, washing our hands, and all of a sudden she’s looking at herself intently. She touches her eyes, her nose, her lips…Then she proceeds to ask me, “What do you think is your best feature?”
I always thought this was a weird question, and insulting if closely examined. To them, I can’t like my physical self as a unified state. I can’t exactly be a “whole” being if I’m picking myself apart that way. Most of what I look like can’t be changed outside of diet and exercise. No, a lot of the women that do this want me to wallow in the self-defeatist mindset of not being attractive enough, specifically heterosexual women with an obsession with men. I don’t exactly have what are considered petite features by western standards either, so being forced to put myself under a mental knife is distracting for my personal growth. I spent too much time worrying about being ugly to people who perceive themselves to be better than me in looks either way, but are severely diminished in personality. Even worse, I wasted time feeling ugly to men I wasn’t even remotely attracted to. I was taught that they’d treat you better if you appealed to them visually. How sinister is that?
I think it’s weird how adamant they are about me changing my appearance. What happened to being beautiful in my own way? Beauty isn’t all about the conventional. I find spiritually beauty far more enlightening then what they’re trying to get me to follow. When I stopped slicing myself into the “best pieces”, my mental fog started to clear and I realized I was around distracting people. They want me to focus on what I think about myself when they already think I’m not worth a damn in the looks department anyway. They ask to confirm if you have too much confidence. Heck, even when I said I thought I was beautiful all around, she came back at me with a very condescending, “So much confidence…” lol almost like it offended her for me to like myself. That’s the dark side of people like that. They reflect their insecurities onto you and desire for you to feel bad. When you feel “ugly” you stop taking care of yourself. You don’t bathe, you don’t eat right, and you may even become a doormat since they’ve made you believe that you’re appearance is worth more than mental growth. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror for a long time because of this damaged mindset. Not even the brush my teeth. When you’re naturally aligned with yourself and are not overly attached to the physical, as I’ve started to learn, you start to naturally de-age yourself and live longer, and I emphasize the live part. I stopped poisoning myself with certain skin-care and dietary habits (which were largely meant for self-destruction) and what do you know, my body matched what was going on internally. I look and feel more alive than ever. When I stopped being a zombie, I stopped looking like one with the sunken eyes and disheveled clothes. No, males don’t talk to me on a large-scale, and some may see that as a measure of “low-worth” for a woman. I see it as a plus if some males fear talking to a woman. It’s about your energy. Plenty of women talk to me just fine and enjoy my company, so I don’t think it’s my personality lol. When you’re a woman who stops caring about what the moids and fem-bots think, you become almost monstrous and “ugly” in their eyes, regardless of your beauty. You’re inconceivable.