You: Suck My Dick Me, An Intellectual: Inhale My Richard

Erik: I take no pleasure in this Charles: You’ve got me pinned to a wall and a knife to my throat, I think there is some pleasure in this for both of us

yup

i live and breathe secret genius albus because you KNOW that he hates living in the shadow of his dad and what better way to be differenr? study his fucking ass off. albus is secretly hermione granger but differenr - he does the homework, just doesn't submit it. he intentionally flunks quizzes and unimportant tests but he ACES the important ones. no one (not even scorpius) has ever caught him studying. oh also hes really good at quidditch but has no house spirit/pride and would like to not be compared to his father mother brother and sister thank you very much. in my head (cause the curse child doesnt exist) albus is the very definition of 'would be the best at everythijg if they actually tried'

swifties are so funny

The first time she calls him “James” in a fic is a religious experience

no offense to all the regulus lovers on here but like everytime i see the marauders era content with people trying to shove him into everything my eye twitches like sometimes we are talking about CANON.

a tiktok about how effie has two sons sirius and james and the comments are all like AnD rEguLus

a jily thing and it’s all like this but jegulus brother EUGHHHHH. james and lily did not die for this

someone praising sirius for breaking away from his family’s ideas or running away BuT hE LeFt rEgGie bro SHXHSNSNDN

istg i saw a tiktok ranking the strongest/best characters of the universe and tell me whyyyy they sneaked regulus on hereeeee

my brother in christ this man wasn’t that important ENOUGHHHHH

What do u think james would have been like as a father

Oh boy, here we go.

Anon, this might be my favourite ask ever. Ever, do you hear me? So take a seat because this is going to be a long one.

It goes without saying that he would have been incredible, yes, but in what way?

(Under the cut because it got too long)

I don't think Harry was planned, purely because of the war. If it hadn't been for that, I think he would have still wanted to be a dad, without a doubt, and a young one at that: being raised by elderly parents probably made him realise that he was luckier than his parents, because they never got to see him grow up, grow old. Little did he know...

James adored being a young dad. He loved the fun bits and the ugly bits. Harry helped him become the man he was destined to be. In the 15 months they shared together (don't worry I'll answer your question in a moment), James was forced to learn some hard truths and make tough decisions. I've always seen him as someone who had a 'black and white' mindset when it comes to right or wrong: it was simple for him, and he couldn't really understand why people did bad things when they knew they were wrong. Well, he knew why, but it only started making sense when he became a father, because suddenly he realised how much he had underestimated the privilege of being able to choose. Having a kid during a war took a toll on him and changed him, because now he was forced to decide whether he was a father first or a soldier. And it was a choice he had to make every day.

He also had to choose what kind of father he was going to be. The kind who comes back from a mission and drinks himself into oblivion, or the one who goes straight to his wife and son and despite being bone-tired and with muscles that ache at every step, he's there for them with a smile on his face. And don't get me wrong, I do believe he did get drunk and felt utterly defeated sometimes. He could have done that and he knew no one would have judged him for it, but he couldn't let the bad days outnumber the good ones.

Let's pretend nothing bad happened on Halloween 1981, and that Voldemort died and everyone got their happy ending:

James is the kind of dad who has long conversations with his babbling two year old, where he pretends to talk about politics and books and Quidditch without using baby voices.

He does use baby voices sometimes, though. Mainly when Harry won't eat his peas or when James has to change his nappy (honestly I hope wizards use them, otherwise the poor babies just have to sit in their poop until someone vanishes it). He does impressions of all his Hogwarts professors, but Harry's favourite is Filch, he laughs so much he makes James laugh too.

He sings 'Beautiful Boy' when Harry can't fall asleep, a smile painted on his face, and when Harry's brows start to relax he whispers the rest of the lyrics, brushing his hair until his eyes close and his breath becomes even (credits to this post for the headcanon).

He's an extremely concerned toddler parent, because Harry learns to run first and walk second. The little boy hates hats, and he always comes back from his walks with his hair all tangled and with leaves in it (yes, Harry dives into leaf piles before his parents can stop him). James, heartbroken, takes a bottle of Sleekeazy's and pours the product on Harry's hair, apologising the whole time.

He watches him play and talk to his toys for Merlin knows how long, hypnotised by his brilliant son.

When Harry accidentally makes Sirius' pancake float towards his plate, James picks up his son and starts dancing with him around the kitchen, singing a made up song that Sirius will mock him for every time he has the chance. By noon, James has not only decided he's going to throw a party in honour of Harry's first accidental magic, he's also decided the menu and planned every activity. He invites Fabian and Gideon and asks to bring their nephews too because the more the merrier, and that's how Ron becomes Harry's best friend.

I also thinks James would absolutely love to have a big family, so in my headcanon Harry has at least a couple of siblings. Imagine being surrounded by all those Potters... A dream for some (James) a nightmare for others (probably Petunia, who is straight up horrified the one time she pays them a visit).

James teaches Harry to fly, reads him stories every night and they even have movie nights every Wednesday, even the day after a full moon, where James falls asleep on the sofa as they watch Star Wars, and Harry goes out like a light shortly after him, head on his chest, drooling on James' shirt.

But most of all, James listens. He truly listens. He makes sure Harry never doubts his worth. He's the kind of dad who isn't afraid to show his emotions, and probably cries as Harry boards the Hogwarts Express for the first time.

When Harry gets in trouble at school for the first time, James realises that lecturing him is not that different from when he had to give out detentions as Head Boy... Except that it is, because when James has to tell him that it's wrong to put Padfoot's hairs in Malfoy's potion, Harry asks him why, and he tilts his head exactly like Lily does when she challenges him, and this kid has her eyes and James' knowing smile, but he's also clever in a way James and Lily are not, and James doesn't know what to do with this information.

Honestly, I have so many more headcanons and if I had to write all of them this post would never see the light of day, so I'll stop here and maybe I'll make a part two, who knows.

In conclusion, this James isn't a perfect dad, but he's a wonderful one. He might be too strict sometimes, and other times too lenient; he might disagree with Harry on some things, and they might fight and raise their voices. But James does everything in his power not to make Harry go to sleep angry or sad, and if it does happen, he makes sure to wake him up with a kiss on his forehead and a hug. Or maybe lots of hugs, because James is a very affectionate dad. With his parents in his life, Harry doesn't doubt for one moment that he's not worthy of being loved.

i say "godspeed, soldier" way too much for someone who puts their faith in neither god nor the military

finally got around to coloring some valentine’s day sketches 💞

I hear all your 'Wade fell first and Logan fell harder' plotlines and thats incredibly based but i raise you the opposite.

At the end of the film, Wade is quite literally Logan's entire world. Hes HIS marvel jesus. He dragged him out of his depression pit, sent him on an emotional rollercoaster, fucked him in a honda oddessy and gave him a new home, new family and new reason to live. He was prepared to die for him, and then with him, three days after meeting him, and when they survive he immediately agrees to move in with him like a domesticated stray. Bro might like Wade juuuust a little bit methinks.

Meanwhile Wade is very casual and enthusiastic when it comes to hookups/flirting/physical contact, the whole deal, and he was 100% down the entire fucking film to get in Logan's pants. But i think when it comes to real romantic feelings hes much slower to develop and realise them. And god forbid he try to pursue the person with his self worth issues (of course THE Wolverine wouldnt be interested in him, ha! Can you imagine?). But when he falls, he falls HARD. Vanessa was previously the only person he truly liked romantically, and i dont think hes fully over her yet at the end of the film. But over time with his new roommate and their dog, it just hits him like a fucking train.

He looks at Logan one day, maybe in the late morning after a long night of merc work when hes making them coffee wearing Wade's too tight shirt with dogpool under his arm and instead of daydreaming about sucking him off sloppy style like usual Wade just thinks. Huh. I kinda wanna just kiss him right now, maybe go on a nice little date and pick out baby names together- wait what.

Im just thinkign. I dont think Wade would be so quick to jump to a real romantic relationship, his feelings towards that sort of thing are much more intense than just his usual lust and i dont think he'd pursue it right off the bat. But they figure it out, of course they do.