What Does Fear Mean To You?

hello hello, i hope you're doing well !! i'm a tim stoker fictionkin who's only kinda ?? recently been kinfirmed, and just so happened to stumble across your blog !! gotta say, love your posts, especially about exploring kin identities since i'm... honestly still a bit new to alot of it (including working out stuff about my own identity) and i'd be very willing to share some experiences regarding anything !! it can be a learning moment for both of us haha xD

I don't have much experience in questioning those who have so recently discovered their fictionkin identities, so I'd be pleased to hear anything regarding your memories or experiences that you're willing to share. Perhaps you could allow me some unique insight on what you remember or your feelings in the discovery of your identity.Also.. I'd like to apologize for the delay in responding back to you, I was on a brief and unexpected hiatus due to health reasons, but I'm back now for the foreseeable future, I genuinely appreciate your patience

also small side note... is the "is fear close relative or truth" thing a twenty one pilots reference?

-marcus keay (non-cannon tma)

Oh, you noticed that. I hadn't exactly phrased the lyrics the same way, but I guess I'm more obvious than I thought–

It's funny, when people ask about my favorite genre of music, I always say classical in subconscious hopes of looking mature. It's almost out of reflex now, but I do enjoy Twenty One Pilots. There's a few lyrics in that song that resonated with me;

‘I could take the high road, but I know that I'm going low,’

‘I created this world to feel some control, I could destroy it if I want, so I sing Sahlo Folina’

It's that feeling of staring into the abyss, or really crossing the line in order to take vengeance.  It's the feeling of hitting a point of no return, and being resigned to the fact I may need to let myself become dangerous just to survive. 

Dear friends,

I am Ahmad, a father struggling to keep my family alive in Gaza under the relentless devastation of war. 💥💔 My children are facing hunger 🍞, thirst 💧, and the bitter cold ❄️ without a safe shelter 🏠. The situation is unbearable, and our lives now depend on your compassionate hearts.

This is not just a message; it’s a plea for survival. 🙏

We are in desperate need of your help to secure the basics: food 🥫, water 💧, and a place to call home 🏠. Your donation, no matter how small, can mean the difference between life and death for my family. ❤️

⏳ Don’t wait. Every second counts. ⏳

Please help us now or share our story with the world 🌍. You might be the reason my children survive this nightmare.

🙏 Don’t let my children face this darkness alone. Be the light 🌟 that brings hope back into our lives.

💖 Donate now and save us from this unimaginable suffering. 💖

Thank you to every kind soul extending a hand of mercy. ❤️‍🩹✨

You can donate to ahmedmoneersblog through their gofundme, linked in their pinned post

Do you ever see a post that makes you feel sad, and you can't place your finger on why..?

Do you ever wish you could take the steam with you?

Otherkin beings, alterhumans, nonhumans, therians.

Send me an ask and tell the world what you are. Use as many or few words as you want without censoring yourself. It can be written like a poem or straight forward and simple. Do what feels right for you.

My goal is to collect and archive until we have enough entries to make a zine out of it that can be downloaded and passed around for free. I want to make our voices less quiet. 

How it works

You send me an ask. Short and simple example:

“I’m a ___.”

I will post your ask (I'll use the queue to space the posts out a bit) and put it down on the zine as:

“I’m a ___.” -Anonymous

If you don’t want to be cited as anonymous, you need to tell me. Like this, for example:

“I’m a ___. -Blue”

You can ad as much information as you want. An example:

“I’m a ___. -Blue, they/them, 21”

That would look like this in the zine:

“I’m a ___.” -Blue, they/them, 21

I hope I explained it in an easy to understand way!

I will cite the asks exactly how I receive them, including things that I think are typos. I don’t want to accidentally change something that was done on purpose. If you want to correct a mistake you’ve made, just comment under the respective post. I can’t allow this for anons because I need a way to know the request comes from the being that made the original ask.

Update

We already have over 30 entries! Given that number, I can confidently say that this zine will happen. I already started working on it. I'm excited! 

(Some of these entries are bringing me to tears omg /pos)

The Questionnaire

I've had some time to reflect upon this path I've been set on to find myself - and I realize I have been running aimlessly without a game plan, and that's all due to laziness. 

 I thought I didn't have any control in these dreams/memories I've been experiencing, but in this recent one I shared with you all I was able to yell, if only for a moment. That's gotten me thinking about the nature of these dreams, and the potential they have to uncover the parts of my life that have always felt like a mystery. Clearly there is something my subconscious has clinged onto. I can no longer sit idle and expect the answers to come to me. So, what exactly is it that I am after?

I want to get to the point where I can consciously ask questions in my dreams, and to better understand the entities that have shown up in said dreams- I think it's the only way to help me better find my identity. I however have to compile a questionnaire in order to set a baseline in my questioning, and I need to train my brain through repetition in order to ensure some consistency. I think if I ask enough fictionkin and fictives about their experiences using the same questionnaire, the likelihood of me being able to force lucid dreaming through questions will increase. 

Through these questions, I will be sorting my findings into four categories;

 Familiarity in topics- I will be looking for specific topics and themes that speak to my memories, especially any recurring symbolism that appears in the source material. I will also be looking for familiarity in those who reach out to me, through their memories and their overall fictionkin/fictive experiences. 

Emotional Response- I cannot deny that there is an emotional aspect to this whole kinsidering journey, to completely divorce my emotional reactions from my findings would be silly, so I will be taking it into account- especially my own dread and guilt since that was a large factor of what started me on this journey in the first place. 

Attraction or “Draw”- Sometimes there are aspects within a source or within the topics we discuss that draw me in. I feel a natural pull to it- be it craving or a gut feeling- it may possibly be even adjacent to kin shifts, but I’m hoping to further explore these feelings by documenting them. Sometimes intuition is your best guidance. 

Roles- I have been taking into account what you have all said to me so far, and I have noticed a large majority of you have reached out to me with an identity in mind of who I may be. I will be examining these suggestions at a closer level and seeing how I fit into their roles. Could I see myself taking the actions they had in their source material- and better yet, do I show a pattern of echoing their behaviors in this present life? 

That being said, I have noticed a disturbing trend in my dreams that involves people who feel preyed upon by a malevolent force, so when I am considering what questions I want to practice on you, I will also have to hold the double intention of  what I may want to extract from said dream apparitions, and for this I have a completely different set of criteria;

Defense/Offense- Do those that make an appearance in my dream seek out targets to attack, or are they rather trying to protect something that they fear is vulnerable, and if so what is it? Why do they exhibit the behaviors that they have in previous dreams, and how can that be traced back to any source material that I have been kinsidering?

Craving- It's colored a large part of my experiences. It's a core theme that I've been meaning to focus on, so I want to know if those that feature in my dreams seek out their victims for fuel and survival, or if they are simply craving the entertainment of watching someone’s hope die in their eyes. This may help me better research new possible sources.

Method- Just as there are themes that I am looking for that feel familiar to me in source material, I am also looking to draw comparisons on what I see in these dreams. I've noticed the entities all have specific themes for how they appear in my dreams; An eye deep in the ocean’s floor, a deadly conglomeration predator and prey animals that stalks the woods in hunt for those who dare disrespect the fragile balance of nature, the haunting pull of an eternity in silence, with only your fears to keep you warm- these are all very distinguishable visuals, so if I can just categorize them, maybe then I can look up sources through these recurring themes.

There's only one noteworthy conclusion that I can say with certainty about these memories. The thing about these anomalies is that they pick their victims, and they seldom choose someone who has the tools to fight back. It is an exposed vulnerability that they needle, and once they realize that you aren't able to defend yourself against it? It's open season.  I need to learn how to make myself dangerous to the things that have been haunting me, and remove the danger from interacting with whoever is caught in the crossfire- namely you, the reader. What better of a way to do that, than to talk my fears to death? A surefire way to defang any horror is to remove the mystery, and make it known.

I really lovwe the vway you vwrite. Genuinely beautiful prose.

- @anothershottotryagain

Thank you, I appreciate it. It's funny, I used to get bullied for my manner of speech back when I was a child. Catholic school was a lawless warzone, but I digress... If anyone can find meaning or familiarity in my words then I'm glad, and I promise I'll keep writing until we uncover the truth behind this reality we all share together

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

.... I probably should've expected this

Stained glass lamps